Author's Note: Just want to give a quick thank you to Ms Sticha for the note. I apologize if you read the last chapter and were confused because Shepard's name suddenly changed. That's what happens when I try writing seven different fanfics with different names for each Shepard. Regardless, this chapter was surprisingly easy to write. I hope I hear back from more of you with your ideas for future chapters. Because seriously, I want to know what you want to see. Enjoy!

Things were starting to settle down, finally. It had been a full month since the event but Catherine had been busy nearly every day of it. For the first day and a half, she'd been in the hospital for her injuries, which were minor thankfully. But the cast on her arm was starting to bother her so much so was almost ready to ask Chakwas if it was really necessary. At least she could still move her arm, for the most part. She couldn't lift anything heavier than a plate of food, but Catherine could live with that.

Oh, but then there were the meetings. Several with the Council, even more with the Alliance Brass, countless requests for interviews. She only did two interviews; the first was a typical mass media interview where she stood on a stage and allowed people to ask questions. The second had been more intimate, seeing as it was a request for the entire crew of the Normandy to sit down. Catherine had been about to decline, but then she saw it was Emily Wong. That changed her mind, fast - Emily had always done Catherine right. Never, had she felt pressured to answer anything, and everything was aired exactly how it was recorded, no unflattering shots, silence was welcomed, and Emily always respected whom she was speaking to. Catherine gave a full list of those who wished to attend the interview, glad that Emily was happy she was getting one at all.

She jumped when she felt warm hands on her shoulders.

"You're up late." he said quietly. She glanced to the clock at her desk. It wasn't even three in the morning, what was he- oh. She sighed with a smile. Rather conveniently, Kaidan's apartment had been trashed during the fight, and was undergoing some remodeling. It would only be a short time, but she was already getting used to having him around. At least when she wasn't up late like this. Catherine still forgot that she didn't have to be up this late doing things. For a few weeks she could be normal and go to sleep before midnight.

"This is what I do before interviews, Kaidan. I want to know what I'm getting myself into." she leaned back, into his hands and body. She knew he was looking at the screen before her, and she didn't care - it wasn't personal or anything.

"How come you got the list of questions and the rest of us didn't?" he grinned, squeezing her shoulders.

"Preferential treatment." she beamed up at him, "And I asked nicely."

"I can see that." he managed a chuckle and she took one of his hands as she let him read over what was there. "Wait, 'Commander, I understand you had to make several difficult decisions, more specifically you had to choose one of your own crew to leave behind on Virmire. How do you feel about that?'" Kaidan's face was twisted and she closed her eyes. It still hurt both of them. It was only what, three weeks ago that she'd chosen to leave Ashley behind?

"I don't like it either, Kaidan. I was going to ask if she could maybe find a way to phrase it differently. But... I feel like people need to know what happened. Especially her family." Catherine lowered her voice considerably, just as her gaze did the same. She felt the chair pull back from the desk and suddenly Kaidan was at her side, leaning over to put his arms around her, scooping her up. Her face was right beside his, and as he looked at her, she sighed, nestling into his shoulder. They needed to forget about it for now.

"Come on, you still need sleep." he said quietly, turning around to carry her back to bed. She could get used to this.

She was set down with care on her bed, and she was about to complain when she felt a warm body pressing against her back, accompanied by the blanket being pulled up and an arm resting comfortably heavy around her waist. She could feel his nose against the back of her skull and Catherine smiled again, taking his hand. After tomorrow's interview, they would be free for two weeks, just like she'd promised him. A few minutes later, she felt drowsy, and had no issues snuggling closer to Kaidan as she fell asleep.

Unfortunately, her dreams were plagued by reliving what she had done to Ashley. She woke up screaming and crying, with a firm pressure on her shoulder that changed and became a warm hand on her face. She could barely make out his face in the dark, but her arms seemed to know where his body was and she buried her face in his chest, sobbing quietly. Even if he hadn't been here, she would have been able to calm herself down. But there was just something satisfying about being able to cry on a shoulder, or in this case into someone's chest, and not caring that she had a reputation. He'd already seen her for more than that. It was nearly time for her to get up, anyway, but Kaidan insisted she go back to sleep for another hour or two, not letting go. She needed that sense of security he was giving her right now. Everything would be fine.

"Commander Shepard, thank you so much for agreeing to this interview." Emily Wong smiled, holding a hand out to greet her. At the moment, Catherine was letting someone do her makeup for the interview, sitting alongside some of the others.

"It's no trouble, Emily. I know I can always count on you to be straightforward with me." she smiled, closing her eyes as she was asked by the asari.

"I saw your message this morning. If you'd rather not talk about that issue, I understand."

"No, it's fine. It's just... Hard to talk about. But I can do it."

"I just wanted to make sure. And you know that you don't have to answer anything you don't want to. Same goes for everyone."

"I'll be sure to let them know."

"Alright then. I'm ready when you are." Emily said cheerfully, walking away. Catherine sighed heavily, and opened her eyes. The asari smiled at her.

"You're not the first one I've seen get worked up like this. Can I give you some advice?" she sounded something like her mother.

"Sure."

"This woman's family will understand. It might not seem that way, but if you give it time, they will." She'd closed up her kit, fluffing her hair one last time.

"Thank you." she said, smiling a little. It did make her feel better, and she knew it was the truth.

She stood up and went to check on everyone else. Joker, Garrus, and Wrex were sitting near one another in their designated seats, all chatting. Liara was almost ready, and Tali sat nervously on the end of the group. Kaidan was nowhere to be found, but she assumed he would show up. There was one empty chair to the left of Catherine's, spare for the image set in the seat of Ashley, provided by her family. It was a flattering picture, showing the Gunnery Chief in uniform, smiling and saluting. Tenderly, she brushed her finger over the arm of the chair, and the chatter beside her stopped, as they all looked to her. She wanted to cry, but now wasn't the time. She glanced over and Joker actually motioned for her to come over, so she did.

"What's up?"

"Just wanted to let you know we aren't going to judge you if you do get a little emotional. We all miss her." he said, shrugging.

"You'd better not judge me, or I'm kicking your ass." she smiled, glad to see her comment earned an honest chuckle from the two aliens.

She turned to sit in her seat - dead center. Her crew surrounded her one by one, and Kaidan arrived from somewhere, taking his seat behind her. It felt weird not having someone sit to her left, but to her right was Jeff. To his right was Liara, making up the first row. Behind Liara was Garrus, to his left Wrex, then Kaidan, and Tali. About six feet in front of the group was a single chair, which Emily took a few minutes later.

"So, before we start actually filming, I just want to remind everyone that I understand if there are some touchy subjects, and you don't want to answer. I'm just here to ask the questions that everyone has one their minds. The plan is to go through the typical boring questions I've planned out, and then, if you're willing, I have a few questions from viewers for each of you." Emily smiled, "Oh, before I begin, I just want to make sure I have everyone's name correctly."

She went through and properly introduced herself, before settling in. The lights shifted and the camera's light turned on, indicating that the interview was beginning. It was easy enough for Catherine, as she'd only done this a million times, actually making a joke about it that got everyone laughing.

"It's clear to me that you've formed quite a bond with your crew members, Shepard. How is it that you managed to get a Turian and a Krogan to sit side by side?" Emily asked, grinning in disbelief. Catherine looked over her shoulder, and stared at the two for a minute.

"Huh." she turned back around and shrugged, "Either they've realized that what happened centuries ago doesn't always have to determine the way things are today, or they're too afraid of me throwing them out of an airlock to even think about it." she grinned.

"I'm not afraid of you." Wrex chuckled dangerously.

"Alright, maybe they aren't afraid." she gave in.

"I do respect you." he said again, more serious.

"Well we all respect her a great deal, and trust her. I mean look at what she's accomplished besides getting everyone to work together." Joker started. Catherine resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him taking the chance to be in the spotlight, but he had a point. She knew they all respected her, and in turn she respected them in different ways. She was surprised at Jeff, however. "I'm not even talking about all of her achievements before she became a Spectre. There is a reason that the Council chose her, and it's because she doesn't just take command and run off with it. No. She's taken the time to get to know each of us personally, outside our duty. Some might say that's borderline fraternization, but I think everyone commanding a team should get to know who's backing them. After all, if you can't respect a person's background, how are you supposed to be able to trust them at your back?" She felt a smile tug at her lips. Not just because of what he was saying but because he'd said a certain word that Catherine found hilarious, knowing that Kaidan was shifting in his seat behind her. Was he still worried about that?

"That is unusual for most commanders. But then again, this mission was hardly average, wasn't it?"

"I can't say I've ever chased after someone across the galaxy before. It was definitely eye-opening."

"How so?"

"When you hear about the Spectres, you hear about how they are, essentially above the law. Saren was an example of how that power could be abused, but I've told my crew that just because you have the power, doesn't mean you should take full advantage of it. Sometimes I've had the need to exercise it, but more often than not I've found that using my basic training and social skills, I've been able to accomplish so much more with an easier time of it. Spectres aren't above the law, they merely try to uphold it."

"Let's talk about your mission, for a moment."

"My goal was to capture Saren and bring him in to answer for his crimes. Of those crimes, the destruction of Eden Prime is among them."

"If I'm not mistaken, that is where your mentor Nihlus died."

"Yes." she paused a moment, and sighed, "I didn't get the chance to talk to Nihlus, much. But he left a very lasting impression on me, of what a Spectre should do, in any given situation."

"And what's that?"

"Never forget who you are. Before the mission started, he asked me what I knew about Eden Prime. Admittedly, I didn't know much more than what's advertised. He knew that and thanked me for my honesty with him, saying that it was good that I didn't pretend that I was more than I am."

"Of course, to everyone, you seem larger than life, now." Emily commented, "If you don't mind, I would like to bring attention to the chair to your left."

Catherine nodded, bracing herself for what was coming.

"I understand that you met Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams on Eden Prime. And in an unfortunate circumstance, you were caught in a situation where you had to choose between two of your crew to save." Catherine nodded solemnly, lowering her gaze a bit, "I'd like to hear from you what happened."

The silence was a little deafening, but she was sorting through her thoughts. She'd been polite, and rephrased the question into a request of an account of the event. She looked up after another breath.

"I was on an investigation on Virmire, and through means which I cannot discuss, it was discovered that Saren's base of operations was there. I had to send a member of my crew to lead another group, and I believed that Kaidan was more than capable enough. I still think I made the right choice in sending him with those men. As you said, that got me into the unfortunate situation. We had decided that the only way to properly gain control of the situation was to destroy the facility. Ashley was in charge of the bomb, and as I was about to get to the rendezvous point, I... had to choose." she paused, feeling the emotions bubble up. She lowered her head and brought her hand up to cover her face as she started to cry. She felt a three-fingered hand on her shoulder, from Tali, and then another from Jeff. They all comforted her until she was able to speak again. "There are several reasons why I didn't go back for her. I would have had to wait for an elevator, which was just too much time to lose. There were also geth swarming the area, it would have been near suicide to try and fight them off to not only get to her, but to clear a landing zone for the Normandy." She paused again, shaking her head as tears started flowing again. Catherine didn't hide them this time. "I never wanted to leave her behind. She was... A good friend to me in the short time we got to know each other. She was a spirited fighter, and she was the person who I could go to when I needed a shoulder. I don't have much family left, and to me, my crew are my family. So for me, I did lose a family member that day."

Everyone was silent for a long time. Emily cleared her throat.

"I think we'll take a break, and come back when you're ready." she nodded, already standing and giving the whole crew some space. She had neglected to shut off the cameras, however.

Kaidan had stood up and nearly jumped over the chair to rush and put Catherine back in his arms. Everyone looked quite surprised at the action but no one spoke up, just letting it be. Catherine put her arms around him as well, shaking like she had earlier that morning. It was about seven minutes before she managed to lift her face, wiping her eyes.

"Are you gonna be okay?" Kaidan asked quietly, looking down at her. She nodded silently and he stepped back, letting her go to get her makeup redone. She appreciated that he'd stepped up like that. And her face turned red when she realized that Emily had that recorded. The whole seven minutes. She cleared her throat, casually motioning for the journalist to come talk with her.

"Is everything alright?" she asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"I'm alright. Thank you for letting me take a break. Um..." she lowered her voice after swallowing. "The cameras are still on. I would just... really appreciate it if-"

"Oh my god." Emily's hands covered her mouth before quickly looking to her omni-tool. "I am so sorry. Don't worry. That will be cut out and deleted. No one is going to see it."

"Thank you." Catherine nodded with a smile. "That's why I let you interview me. You look out for me."

"If it keeps you coming back, Shepard." she sighed, smiling. "We'll pick up when you're ready."