What They Made Me Chapter 11: Family, a twilight fanfic

A/N: I'm trying to give you guys as many chapters as possible because after today I get a little busy for a few days and won't be able to write. Sorrrrrry….lol

Bella POV

"Bella, can I talk to you for a second?" She asked. What is with these Cullens trying to talk to me to today? I wondered, as I turned to face Rosalie. "What now?" I asked. This coven was doing enough to confuse me already. What else could she do to add to it? "Well, I just wanted to apologize for how I used to act towards you" she answered. That was it. She added to the confusion.

"Huh?" I asked, although I obviously knew what she said. "I said that I wanted to apologize for how I used to act towards you." She repeated, even though she too, knew I had heard her. "Uh-huh, and what brought this on?" I asked, staring at her. "Isn't it obvious?" She assumed. "Sorry, but I never took you for the apologizing type" I countered. She sighed. "I just felt bad, ok? When we heard that you were dead I thought I'd never get the chance to tell you how sorry I was, but now I do so I took it." She finished.

"Well I must say I'm touched Rosie." I smirked sarcastically. She looked a bit amazed at first but then a small smile started to form at the edge of her lips. I smiled "And anyway, just forget it. What's in the past can stay there." I turned around and kept walking. "Oh and Bella" she called. I cocked my head to the said to show I was listening but I kept walking. "So…do you hate us?" She asked. I stopped. "No, not hate" And I kept walking.

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"I'm next!" Emmet declared, coming into the training room where Bianca and I were currently sparring. You can go, B" I told her. She just nodded and left. "Is it just me, or are you and your family determined to disrupt me at every given moment?" I asked ironically. "We're determined" He said, smiling foolishly. "So, are you going to fight me?" He asked. "If you're willing to make that mistake then I'm willing to grant it" I smiled sardonically. "No powers. Fair game" He declared. "Reasonable enough" I agreed, before crouching into a hunting position.

Three minutes later I had Emmet pinned to the ground with my teeth inches from his neck. "Dead" I stated, before jumping off of him. "How" He asked, looking dumbfounded. "What can I say, I'm good." I said. I wasn't bragging, just stating a fact. "Could you teach me how you did that one flip punch thingy you did?" He asked hopefully. "Um, sure" I decided. "Thanks sis" He smiled happily at me. I just ignored him and started giving him instructions.

I was sitting in the courtyard on a stone bench, just staring at the sky. "Can I join you" I heard a motherly voice ask. "If you want" I told her. "How are you?" Esme wondered. "Fine" I responded. "Do you like your home here?" She inquired. "It's nice I guess. I don't really have anything to compare it to since it's been my only home as a vampire. I can't really compare my human and vampire memories." I answered her. She seemed overly curious. "What about the missions? Do you enjoy those?" Definitely overly curious "Well, it helps me to feel like I'm actually helping in some way. It makes me think I'm actually not just a waste of space." I didn't know why I was telling her this.

"Oh honey, you could never be a waste of space" She told me. She looked like she wanted to hug me. I'm glad she restrained herself. "Can't I be?" I disagreed. "To kill, just to protect your kind seems like a heavy burden. How could someone as dedicated as that be a waste?" She contradicted. Maybe. I smiled at her as we sat in contented silence.

"Do you always dress like that?" Alice asked, gesturing to my black and gold clothes and black cape. I just looked at her and said "If your about to try discuss my wardrobe with me then this is a waste of a conversation." Before turning around and heading back to my room. How is she going to pop out of no-where when I'm trying to relax and ask me about my clothes? That girl is unnatural. "Sorry" she said, looking dejected. "I just haven't had much fun with clothes since you…disappeared, I guess." She explained. "And why is that?" I asked, trying to pretend like I cared. "Well, without you it just lost the interest it held for me."

I stopped and looked at her. "What is that supposed to mean?" I asked. "It's exactly as I said." She shrugged. As a human, Alice had been my best friend. I'm not sure if she knew how much I depended on that relationship. For someone who had grown up with no-one to be close to, having her there was always nice. She ripped that away when she left. Can I believe her now? "I'm not sure I understand" I said, lying through my teeth. She gave me a look as if she knew I was lying, but also as if she understood. "That's ok," she said, and I caught the double meaning. She gave me a sad smile before turning around and walking away.

"Is it hard, still?" Jasper asked, leaning against the stone wall of the castle. It was night time and I was just sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall next to him. "A bit." I answered him. "Taking an innocent life isn't exactly what I would call easy, but I feel like it has to be done…I'm a monster" We were silent for a while before he spoke. "When I was first changed I was a monster of the deadliest kind. I killed humans without a single thought. I took innocent lives to fuel my own cursed half-life. I had filled the place of god, deciding who would live and who would die. I had no longer been Jasper Whitlock."

He looked down at me. "As the decades passed I had begun to realize the debt of all the life I had taken. I began to really see the monster in my once red eyes. My gift, or curse depending on which way you look at it, made it possible for me to experience the emotions of the humans that I killed. I lived their death with them as I killed them. I felt like a monster, yet I still did it." He tucked his hands in his pocket and continued. "I'm glad that it isn't the same thing for you." I looked at the ground and said "How am I different? I take defenseless human lives whenever my mission requires." I disagreed. "Maybe" He said "But the difference is that you do it to keep peace. To keep balance. That doesn't make you a monster" He smiled at me.

"Does Ghost change their schedule from time to time or do they keep it routine?" Carlisle inquired. "Neither" I answered. "I pretty much choose what I want them to work on that day and that's what they do" I finished. "Ah" He said. We were sitting in the study Aro had given especially to Carlisle for his stay. "When you touched Evie's arm when they were on fire, which I assume is her power, why weren't you injured? He fired off. "Its one of the powers I've acquired. I'm immune." I told him. He looked like he was taking that in. We had been at this for about two hours now.

"Any more questions" I asked. He seemed to hesitate before saying "Yes. Are you happy here? Do you like your life how it is now? He wondered. "That's none of your business" I said, rising from my point on the couch. How would anyone think I was happy with this life? I knew Edward was wrong by saying we couldn't go to heaven or hell because we had no souls. I was practically living hell right now. Was I happy being able to help instead of just sitting around? Sure. Was I satisfied with my life? Not exactly.

"I don't see why you care anyway" I said, walking towards the door. "Of course I care, Bella" Carlisle argued with me. "How could I not?" He added. "Why should you, I'm not your problem to concern yourself with, now am I?" I asked, walking out. Right before the door closed, I heard him mutter his last words. "I'm always concerned about family, Bella."

A/N: Yea, no Edward in this chapter. I have some serious writers block on how to get Bella and Edward moving along, so instead of leaving you guys hanging, I wrote this. Hopefully it can satisfy some people enough until I can think of something. (Suggestions welcome, lol). If it doesn't…sorry? Lol, Peace.