Store Cupboard Spies – Chapter 11
As the door closed with a click, Charles whipped his head to Elsie, fully expecting her to mirror his own shocked expression. What he found was her head lowered, shaking back and forth, a laugh pressing hard against her firmly closed lips. She couldn't hide or hold it in anymore, the amusement escaping in small little bursts directly out her nostrils.
"Now just what was THAT all about?" he thundered, as quietly as his deep baritone would allow.
"Now Charles Carson, don't you go worrying yourself over nothing. It certainly won't help the situation," she offered, waving a hand in his direction, crossing back over to the bed.
"What do you mean nothing? If I heard correctly, Anna sounded well aware of the fact that you were somewhere in my room. Why wouldn't I be concerned?"
"Do think about that," she said seriously as she sat upon the spread. "When has Anna ever revealed someone else's private business? That girl is nothing if not loyal to a fault. Besides, it has been far too long since this house has been graced with her laughter."
"Yes, but how did she know," he asked, his face registering a mixture of panic, curiosity and irritation. "You didn't…"
"No, I most certainly did not tell her," Elsie began slowly becoming lost in thought. "Yes, I will admit that it would be nice to have another woman to confide in, and yes, I do love Anna, probably more than I should, but how unprofessional would that have been? I am just as reticent and reserved as you when it comes to personal matters. You should know that, Charles."
He reached out for her, drawing her back down to recline in his arms.
"That I do, Elsie. That I do." He trailed his hand lovingly up and down her arm. "Look how long it took us to get to this point." He knew that the next bit of conversation would take a fragile hand. "I also know that it can't be easy for you."
"What can't be easy?"
"To have a house full of children that you cannot treat as such."
She tensed up in his arms, leading him to wonder if he should have ventured onto such unstable ground. A slow breath left her lips with a bit of a hitch. He had struck the ultimate chord.
"Yes, I always wanted a child, and I do often wonder how life would be different if I had chosen to go that way." She did not want to hurt him but knew that honesty was always the best policy, especially when it came to dealing with her husband. "I cannot help myself to wonder sometimes, but I think that is normal, maybe even healthy. Forgive me?"
"Forgive you," he said with a laugh. "What for? There is nothing wrong or improper about wondering. Goodness knows I do it too."
Elsie tilted her head to look up at him with questioning eyes.
"I know full well how you feel about her, but watching Lady Mary grow and change has often had quite an effect on me. I never wanted children of my own before I started working at Downton, but tending to those three imps and watching them evolve over the years, hopefully a still continuing process, changed something in me. I cannot say that I mourn the thought of the responsibility, but I have enjoyed the process from a distance."
Elsie softened, nodding her head back onto his chest. Downton had become her home, Charles her husband, and those under her care her children. She was rarely free with such feelings, even with Charles. That was an ancient wall, full of cracks and beginning to slowly crumble, but as present as well-preserved ruins.
"You still didn't answer my question," he muttered into her hair.
"What question?" Elsie feigned ignorance.
He squeezed her sides, spiritedly teasing her into revealing her hidden information.
"Out with it… Anna."
Elsie propped herself up on one elbow, her cheek resting in her palm. She regarded Charles with eyebrows raised.
"I would have thought that you would know our children better than that." She couldn't resist. If she couldn't acknowledge Anna as a daughter openly, maybe Charles would allow her a bit of fantasy in their own private world.
He leaned over to playfully kiss her nose. "Well, she certainly does take after her mother. That I do know." He hoped that he wasn't going too far, but he couldn't help but feel that this was something Elsie needed, if only in their secret shared life.
Anna was, in fact, everything good about Elsie. She was fair, kind, loving, caring, loyal, most certainly cheeky and a champion for all that was right and good. The only thing he saw different in the two of them was Anna's ability to be so free with her feelings. He had uncovered it within Elsie, but not for lack of trying. He knew that she was guarded, but equated it to his own reasons for closing off to others. They were unfailing professionals, priding themselves in their work and positions. Unfortunately, that often meant placing that part of themselves above all else.
"Never underestimate that girl's intuition, Charles. Remember how determined she was to find the truth out about Mr. Bates. If she's got an idea in her head, she won't stop until she figures out every last bit of detail… including the marks we apparently sport on our ring fingers in the morning," she offered with a knowing eye.
"No!" He was floored. They had always been so careful, only wearing their wedding rings to sleep in an effort to feel close to each other, most often separated in their beds by a locked door. They had rearranged the furniture in their adjacent rooms in order that their beds should lie against the same wall, wood and plaster being all that barred them from holding each other through the lonely nights of secret marriage. It was far from ideal but yet significant.
"How long has she known?"
"Truthfully, I don't exactly know how long. She only chose to bravely share her suspicions with me upon her return from London," Elsie reminisced, a particularly ridiculous memory flooding over her. "Remember the morning we slept frightfully late into the morning in my sitting room? Three guesses who came to the rescue."
"But that was the morning she left for London," he said rubbing his forehead, just as he had done that morning. "I don't remember that."
Elsie had to laugh. "I'm afraid you were ignorant to most of the events of that particular morning. You were so soundly asleep, I'm surprised you didn't expose us to the rest of the staff by the resounding chorus of your snores."
"I do NOT snore," Charles huffed.
"You most certainly did that morning. In fact, we were so completely out that I didn't even register Anna bursting into my parlour, trying to hide herself from Ms. O'Brien."
"My Lord, how much did I miss?"
"Well, Anna apparently had to shake me awake, formulate a grand plan, and try to get me to comprehend it all in my groggy state in just a few, very anxious moments. We decided that it would do none of us any good letting you in on it as you were still blissfully unaware of the world."
"And you are just telling me this now?"
"This is exactly why! Why give you cause to lament, grouse and worry when there was no need. You still had your eyes closed when Mr. Bates gave the all clear."
"Mr. Bates? He was in on this whole scheme too?"
"This "whole scheme" you are speaking of is exactly what has kept the rest of the staff gratefully in the dark. We owe a lot to those two, you know."
"How did I miss all that?"
"My dear Mr. Carson, when you sleep, you SLEEP, which incidentally is what you should be doing right now." Elsie reluctantly started to rise.
"Won't you stay," he whined, pulling her back down against him. "Just for a little while longer?"
"Now Charles, you know that I can't. If Sarah O'Brien sees that key missing from its hook, with all that has happened tonight, we are as good as exposed." She cupped both of his cheeks, bringing her lips first upon his forehead then down upon his lips. "Plus, anymore of this might just spur a heart attack. Then there's the pesky issue of Dr. Clarkson hanging about outside the window." That was his Elsie, never at a loss for humour.
God he loved her.
Just then, a small sound came from the direction of the door. A little piece of paper slid itself under the crack and across the floorboards.
"I'm beginning to think that I'm not your only partner in crime, Elsie Carson."
Elsie stooped down to retrieve the carefully folded slip, unfolding it to read the familiar handwriting.
Take care of Mr. Carson tonight. He deserves a bit of care, as you deserve to be able to provide. I'll call on you in the morning... BEFORE Daisy. –Anna
Elsie shook her head and smiled. Sometimes you had to let the wall crumble, just a bit. "Perfect timing," she reflected silently, "but she forgot one thing."
Anna turned when she heard the sound coming from the door she had just quietly crept away from. A slight glint caught her eye as a small piece of paper slid out from underneath the crack.
You'll need this… and THANK YOU. –Mrs. Hughes
Anna retrieved the key, crossed the threshold and soundly locked the door between the male and female quarters.