Oh my…..I'm sorry guys. I feel like I failed you all with this chapter. The idea seemed good at the time, but now that I have it written out….I just look like an obsessed fan. I'd like to think of this chapter as a "one-shot within the story" or "filler". Really, there is nothing important about this chapter until the very end. Please don't flame for this chapter. I already know it sucks.
Invader Zis and Hostgirl: What? What Wicked performance did YOU see? I want to see that! Can you imagine Gaz singing 'Popular'? Woah!
Anonymous: Kudos on being the only who caught that! They really do share similar characteristics, don't they?
Moonheart13: That's why I wrote this story! ;) Thank you very much!
DangerousD: Thanks! I aim to please!
Toph15Avatar: Much appreciation! I hope this chapter motivates you to go see the musical!
Gir'sdoomsongofdoom: Yes, yes she would.
RavenFollower13: (Sniff) I promise to make you proud! (salutes)
RandomNumbers523156: Deep and insightful as always, RN!
WebOfSmiles: Eeeh, I pulled the Spanish out of my memory. It may be flawed. Well, all you wants will be fulfilled soon!
Milanord: Thanks!
Invader Johnny: LOL, the Ms. Bitters joke seems to be really popular! No, I haven't even seen Squee on Invader Zim. I was actually thinking of that time Zim appeared to the Tallest in a bear suit. And it was a Star Wars reference, but I agree. Stories these days…..WAY too much fluff!
WARNING: MAJOR Wicked spoilers!
Disclaimer: Do you see any cannon ZAGR in the show? No? Then I don't own it.
"WICKED!"
"Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!"
"I can't wait!
I brought the tissues!"
Zim frowned as he noticed everyone getting so riled up. What was it about this 'Wicked' that had everyone bursting with excitement? Maybe Zim had been right before. Maybe 'Wicked' really was a term used for an Earthling meeting. He grinned wickedly (no pun intended) at the thought. These silly humans were practically gift wrapping their secrets to him! They were literally taking him straight into their fortress!
Zim's theory was confirmed as he entered the plaza where everyone was getting in their seats. It was pretty crowded and the room looked like it was prepared for royalty. The lights were set in a warming glow, the rug below his feet was made of the finest material, and the seats were pretty darn soft! But what really caught the Irken's attention was the light shining on the curtains.
Shining on the cloth that hid the stage was a map. A map with a shining green ring surrounding a certain area.
That must be where their head army is! Zim thought excitedly. True, he didn't remember Earth' s continents looking quite like that from what he had learned in class, but maybe this was a secret location that had been kept hidden from him? Yes, it had to be! He couldn't believe it! He had no idea why there was a giant statue of what humans call a 'dragon' above the stage, but who cared? He was about to learn all of he needed to know about Earth from this little trip he was given.
And it only took four years to get here!
Zim smiled as he looked for a place to sit. This was going to be great! If only the Gaz-human was here to witness this. She would probably love the opportunity to learn about her planet's military- what the Irk?
"Gaz-human?" Zim screeched at the sight. She was here! Right here, sitting in one of the seats with a bag of M&Ms. What in the name of the fallen invaders?
Said girl slowly looked up at him. "What are you doing here?"
"Zim was just about to ask that to you!" the invader said, rushing over to her side. "This trip is for Ms. Bitters' class! You are not in her class! Although that would be pretty entertaining…." His trailed off as he began to wonder what a Gaz vs. Ms. Bitters battle would be like.
Gaz merely shrugged. "Like I would miss out on a field trip. This is the perfect opportunity to get out of that dumb math test."
"Which I assume you didn't study for," Zim said in a teasing way.
Gaz instantly glared at him. "Don't assume anything with me, Zim."
"So….you did?" the Irken asked, a tad bit confused.
"Don't guess anything about me either!" she snapped, crushing most of her M&Ms.
Zim huffed before taking a seat beside her. "Well me-OW human girl! What's got you in an even worse mood than you usually are?"
Gaz opened her eyes slightly, just so she could intensify her glare. "Have you already forgotten what you did to me earlier?"
The Irken paused for a moment to think before he lowered his eyes sheepishly. "Oh….that."
The small girl shook her head. "Look, I already told you before, I'm not here to make friends with-"
"But it was just one kiss!" Zim interrupted. "It didn't mean anything!"
Snarling, Gaz punched her partner square in the shoulder. "Not THAT early! Grrr, I mean what happened this morning!"
Zim blinked in confusion. Oh yeah….that was a big issue for him an hour ago. "What? Are you still upset about that?"
"I'm not upset!" Gaz said, her face flushing.
"Then what are you?"
"I don't know, you tell me!" Gaz growled, doing her best not to show how much the Irken had hurt her earlier.
Zim frowned. "Look, it's not like I'm not fond of you, I am! But I simply cannot overlook the fact that you're a human!"
"Shut up!" she barked.
"But-" His words were cut off as the small girl grabbed him by the front of his uniform.
"Listen Zim! Wicked is the only musical that I can sit through without throwing up, so zip it! If you make me miss Defying Gravity, you'll pay!"
WICKED SPOILERS STARTS NOW!
"But I thought we were seeing-"
"Sssh!"
Zim obliged, for at that moment, the lights had gone out. Zim smiled in delight. He couldn't wait to report to his Tallest. This was just too good to be true! Even the Gaz-human was excited to see the documentary! This was going to be-
ROOOOOOOOAAAARR!
Zim literally fell out of his seat as he heard trumpets begin to play, followed by a bellowing roar. As he got back up, he noticed the dragon above the map and begun to move….and breath smoke!
Zim became pale. Was this Earth's secret weapon? "Wha…What is this? It's alive!"
Gaz rolled her eyes. "Calm down, it's harmless. Just some special effects."
The Irken shook his head at the moving creature. He was not comfortable with something that big moving above his head. Eventually though, the 'special effect' halted. A spotlight was cast and a single man in a monkey costume pranced on stage.
"Will he be delivering the information?" Zim whispered to his partner.
"What information?" the human girl asked.
Before Zim could respond, the music began to intensify as a group of people walked on stage. The Irken was once again startled as the map disappeared followed by the humans cheering their heads off.
Zim raised a non-existent eyebrow. What were these humans so happy about?
"Good neeeeeeeeeews! She's deaaaaaaaaaad! The Witch of the West is dead!" The lights on the stage suddenly flew on as the humans began to perform a strange dance. "The wickedest witch there ever was! The enemy of all of us here in Oz is deaaaaaaaad!"
Zim's eye twitched. "Wha….why are these humans singing?"
"Well it is a musical, Zim."
"Nobody told me there would be music in the musical!" he snapped. "And who is this witch that they are celebrating the death of? She must have been truly horrible if they are actually singing about her death!"
Gaz rolled her eyes. "Are we seriously going to have a repeat of the mall episode?"
The mall? Zim pondered that for a minute before his eyes widened. "Victoria…." He whispered. It all made sense now.
"LOOK! IT'S GLINDA!"
Zim watched in amazement as a blonde human descended to the stage, carried by a circular…something. She must be the one in charge. Hope she doesn't start singing too.
"Fellow Ozians," the one called 'Glinda' smiled. "Let us be glaaaaaaad. Let us be gratefuuuuuuul. Let us rejoicify that goodness could subdue, the wicked workings of you-know-who!"
Zim shook his head. He wished he had an opportunity to meet the Victoria. She had a whole song number dedicated to her.
"No one mourns the wicked!"
"No one cries they won't return!
"No one lays a lily on their grave!"
The Irken was stunned by their words. For some reason, this verse made him think of his own life. What would happen when his PAK finally gave out and he passed away? Well….obviously his fellow Irkens would be crushed…right?
"The good man scorns the wicked!"
"Through their lives our children learn…what we miss whenever we misbehave!"
"A goodness knows,"the Glinda sang, "the wicked's lives are lonely. Goodness knows the wicked die alone! It just shows when you're wicked you're left only on your own!"
Foolish female! We evil doers never feel lonely! We need no one's company but our own! Zim thought to himself. Was that what he was going to watch? A bunch of humans singing about the consequences about being evil? How pathetic! This was nothing his Tallest didn't already know!
"Glinda! Why does wickedness happen?" one of the humans asked.
What?
"That's a good question!" Glinda bubbled. "One that many people find confusifying!"
"This human…..is stupid! Even for Earth's standards!" Zim whispered.
"They're called barbies," Gaz whispered back.
"Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them? After all, she had a childhood. She had a father, who just so happened to be the governor of munchkinland."
Munchkin?
The next few minutes of…whatever it was he was watching, he wasn't so sure anymore…was basically the mayor and his wife singing how much they loved each other, before the mayor left for….something. Then the wife's look of affection quickly turned to disgust before she danced in the arms of another man.
This surprised Zim. He knew nothing of the human relationships, nor did he care about them. In yet it still somehow amazed him that they would go behind each other's back like that. If this was true, then why bother having 'relationships' at all? How did they know they could trust their mates? Did they simply not care?
Well, shortly after the other man left, the woman got really fat. Luckily, Zim had researched over time how humans were produced, so the Irken was aware the woman was now "pregnant". He watched as everyone became ecstatic as the woman strained herself to deliver the newborn child. Yuck.
"It's coming!"
"Now?"
"The baby's coming!"
"And how?"
"I see a nose!"
"I see a curl!"
"It's a healthy, perfect, lovely, little-"
Zim nearly fell out of his seat again as the people on stage gasped in horror.
"What is it?" the mothe-unit asked. "What's wrong?"
They ignored her. "How can it be?"
"What does it mean?"
"It's atrocious!"
"It's obscene!"
The Irken found his curiosity getting the better of him.
"Like a froggy, ferny, cabbage, the baby is unnaturally…GREEN!"
Zim's mouth dropped open as he watched them lift up a plastic, green baby. He just couldn't believe it. How did the humans…how could they have….what did they know?
Sensing her partner's distress, Gaz slowly opened one eye and said, "Relax Zim, it's now an Irken."
"But! It's-!"
"I know, but she's supposed to be a witch. Witches are considered to be green on this planet, for whatever reason."
"Yes your brother mentioned those…what are witches Gaz-human?"
"They're powerful, ugly creatures who strike fear into children's hearts."
"Oh…"
"…."
"Dib-sister?"
"Yeah?
"Why aren't you green?"
Gaz was about to open her mouth to release pain on his non-existent ears, but stopped when she saw the father reject his child, leaving her in the care of the nurse. She mentally roared at the sight. Having to see that father neglect and dismiss his child because she was different….it cut her deep. She glared at the stage, all while trying to fight back her rage. And maybe even tears. This did not go unnoticed by Zim.
He was about to ask her if he said something that bugged her, but was interrupted by the humans finishing their song up.
The Glinda girl was saying her farewells when one of the munchkins suddenly cried, "Glinda! Is it true that you were her friend?"
Everyone gasped in horror.
Glinda suddenly became nervous. "Well….yes." she winced as everyone gazed in horror. "Well it depends on what you mean by 'friend'. "
Zim rolled his eyes. If I have to hear the F-word one more time….
"I did know her. That is, our paths did cross. At school. But you must understand, it was a long time ago and we were both so young…"
The duo watched as the set was changed to where a bunch of young adults replaced the 'munchkins', including the green girl that Zim was now fascinated with. It was astonishing. The humans had created a girl who appeared to be the female version of himself! Sure, she had no PAK and she still had too many human features to be Irken, but still…..a human who bore his skin color?
His fondness of this character only grew as he watched her snap at the other humans for staring at her. So she was an outcast, just like himself. Oh, he had defiantly been made fun of for his skin color before. It was never the taunts that bugged him. He was proud of his skin. It was the fact that these humans had the audacity to mock him! He found himself silently rooting for the girl.
But apparently, her family did not. Her father, who had rejected her as a child, was now scolding her and reminding her that he loved his second child, the one who was in a chair for some odd reason, much more than his oldest. The Irken took notice that the second did not have green skin. He disliked her.
His dislike grew as he saw the father-unit give his un-green child sparkling shoes as a parting gift. That was unfair! He did not know much about how families operate, but why didn't the green girl get anything? It was insulting!
The girl answered his question. "Well, what could he have gotten me? I clash with everything!"
Zim glared at his partner who had chuckled at the comment.
The duo watched as all the other classmates starteded to kiss up to the Glinda-girl, calling her their princess. The head mistress, Madame Morrible was not impressed with her. She was much more interested in the green girl's (who Zim was beginning to think was not Victoria) sister. And, much to the Irken's dismay, she only looked at the older sister with disgust.
However, his mood was instantly lifted when it was announced that the Glinda-human and the green girl (whose name turned out to be Elphaba) would be roommates. That annoyed the green girl enough, but what really made her lose it was when the Morrible-lady wheeled her sister off to a private room. Elphaba began to panic as the stage lit up in a green light, with smoke blowing everywhere.
Zim hated to admit, but he was impressed. "Wow…."
Gaz shrugged. "Eh, I could do better…."
Although our favorite goth was unimpressed, Madame Morrible was. She told Elphaba that she would give her private lessons in sorcery, much to the girl's delight. Elphaba began to sing about how she would impress someone called 'the Wizard' and they would get to work side by side. Then the people of Oz would love her!
When I meet the Wizard
Once I prove my worth
When I meet the Wizard
What I've waited for since, since birth!
How strange…Zim thought to himself. It's like this girl is my clone. Not only does she look like me, but we share the same dreams too! One day I will show the Tallest the I, ZIM, am the greatest invader to ever be produced! Although I'll probably do it without the singing….
Zim was surprised to see the Glinda join Elphaba shortly after her song….only to start a new song! This was one was about how the two different girls felt about sharing a room together.
"What is this feeling, so sudden and new?" Glinda sang.
"I felt the moment I laid eyes on you," Elphaba responded.
"My pulse is rushing."
"My head is reeling."
"My face is flushing."
"What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame. Does it have a name? Yeeeeeesssss…."
"LOATHING!"
As the girls continued their song about hating one another and how they always would, Zim couldn't help but think about Dib. How fitting it would be if they just broke out into this song in the middle of skool? You know….if he had no pride…..But again, he found a song he could relate to. He would always detest the Dib-stink, and their war would never cease. Just like these two females. He hoped the 'Elphaba' would destroy the 'Glinda' girl.
Well, soon they were both in class where a giant goat was giving a lecture. He explained how he was the last talking animal in the skool, but nobody seems to care. Nobody but Elphaba that is. Personally, Zim found the goat's story boring. Basically he was sad about being different, Ephaba sympathized, the goat sang about how all animals are being forced not to talk, and Elphaba said they need to ask the Wizard for help. Personally, Zim thought he was just being paranoid, but his female-self seemed to believe him. Then again, she seemed like she was desperate for some positive attention, so….
Zim's boredom only grew as a new character was introduced. He was a pasty looking boy that Glinda called 'Fiyero'. He also noticed that others were worshipping him because…he had no idea why. Apparently the human was not that bright, for he began singing to his fellow classmates about how pointless skool was. And all the humans began to agree with him as he set up a party for everyone.
Zim did not like this idiotic human.
What got Zim's interest back on track was watching one of the munchkins named 'Boq' act nervous around Glinda. This confused the Irken. Did she scare him? Was she his master? Why was he bumbling like an idiot?
"Psst, Gaz-human. Why is that small human so shaky?"
"He's in love with Glinda."
"They're related?"
"No, he's IN love with her."
Zim blinked. "I do not understand. "
Gaz turned to him. "Do you even know what love is?"
"I know the love some warriors have for their superiors, as well as the fact that human families seem to experience this emotion for each other."
Most of the time, Gaz thought to herself. "Well, to be 'in love' with someone means that you care about a person of the opposite gender so much that you would do anything for them."
Zim was astounded. "Anything?"
Gaz nodded. "Anything. Sometimes, when you're so deeply in love with someone, you'll even die for them."
This shocked Zim. He knew humans paired off with one another over time, but he had no idea that such emotions were behind it. He knew there was pathetic affection involved but…..dying for one another?
"Dib-sister, have you ever been in love?"
"No, and I don't plan to. In the end, it just gets you hurt."
"Well I guess so, considering you're willing to lose your own life for the other."
"Can't get over that part, can you?"
"Noooo…"
Well, according to Zim's observations, the Glinda girl did not 'in love' with Boq back. Instead, she seemed to 'in love' Fiyero. This slightly confused the Irken. He watched as the Glinda girl asked Boq to ask Nessarose (Elphaba' sister) to the party.
"I would do anything for you Ms. Galinda!" Boq announced proudly.
Huh, I guess the Dib-sister was right…
The Glinda girl then made her way over to Fiyero and proceeded to 'in love' him. Zim smiled with pride when he saw that Elphaba was the only one unaffected by Fiyero's charms. Nessarose wheeled in saying how happy she was that Boq had asked her out. She told her sister that Glinda had set them up and began showering her with praise.
"Nessa is in love with Boq, just in case you missed that," Gaz told Zim.
"What?" Zim screeched. "So the whiny girl is in love with the short guy who's in love with the blond menace who's in love with the idiot?"
"Oh trust me, it gets a lot more complex," Gaz smirked.
"Do human ever feel mutual about each other's feelings?" Zim asked.
"No."
"Huh…this seems like a painfully complex emotion…"
"Welcome to Earth."
"Kinda late on that, don't you think?"
"Not late enough."
They then watched as Glinda received a black, pointed hat that repulsed her. Giggling to her friends, she gave to hat to Elphaba, telling her that the green girl deserved it more than she did.
The following event was of Boq trying to tell Nessarose that he was only taking her out to impress Glinda, but he chickened out at the last minute, instead claiming she was incredibly beautiful. Nessa was obviously pleased with the response.
Zim was starting to get bored again, until he saw the Morrible lady give Glinda a wand, much to her delight.
"How can I ever express my gratitude?" Glinda bubbled, much to the invader's annoyance.
"Oh, don't thank me. It was your roommate's idea, not mine!" Morrible droned.
"What? Elphaba?"
Zim instantly snapped out of his boredom at these words. "What? W-Why? How could she?" He actually felt a little betrayed. Why would she help her mortal enemy? That was the whole part of the 'enemy'! He voiced his concerns to his scary comrade.
"She helped her sister, so she's returning the favor," Gaz told him.
Zim pondered this. "Yes, Zim understands what it means to be indebted to someone, but the blonde human did nothing for the green girl! Why does she feel the need to repay her?"
"Elphaba loves her sister, and wants her to be happy. Glinda made her happy. Therefor she wants to help her in return."
Zim shook his head. "That's ridiculous. If the blonde human was stupid enough to help the sister of her mortal enemy, then she deserves no 'gratitude'! She deserves to be taken advantage of!"
"Um…you helped me once. Aren't I the sister of your mortal enemy?"
Zim rolled his eyes. "That's different! I didn't help you for my own selfish neeeeeeds!"
Gaz raised an eyebrow. "So wait….that makes you the less dastardly one?"
"EXACTLY!"Zim finished, shrugging off the weird feeling that he missed something.
They turned back to the stage as it suddenly got quiet. They watched as the Ozians glared as Elphaba entered the party. She wore a dark green frolic along with the black hat given to her by Glinda. The music had stopped. Nobody was dancing.
But the green girl didn't let it get to her. Instead of running or hiding from this embarrassment, she began to by herself. With no music and no elegance.
"Well, I'll say this, she doesn't give a twig about what other people think," Fiyero observed.
Glinda looked sad. "Of course she does…she just pretends not to….I feel awful." Slowly, she made her way over to the lonely girl. "Uh…may I cut in?" She then danced alongside Elphaba, with equal awkwardness. The green girl seemed skeptical at first, she eventually played along. And the Ozians, seeing their idol dancing alongside the girl, soon joined them as the music resumed.
Before Zim could question what the Irk just happened, the stage moved to show the two girls sitting in their room together. The blonde one was jumping up and down. Zim struggled to prevent his eye from twitching.
"Let's tell each other secrets! I'll go first!" Glinda sqealed. "Fiyero and I are going to be MARRIED!"
"He already asked you?" Elphaba asked.
"Oh, he doesn't know yet."
After that, Zim learned that Elphaba was actually ashamed of her green skin, much to his astonishment. And that the only reason her sister was in the chair, was because her mother chew milk flowers day and night to (somehow) prevent her next baby from being green. This caused the baby to be born early and her legs to become tangled up followed by the mother dying of childbirth.
Zim was unsympathetic. He thought if the woman and her child were too weak to make it out in perfect condition, then that was their problem. What really got the Irken's attention was that the Glinda girl was trying to comfort her!
"I do not understand! Why is she suddenly being so nice to her enemy?" Zim asked his partner.
"They're friends now."
"WHAAAAAAT?" Zim screeched.
"Shhhhh!" the audience hissed.
"But…but what about the song? I thought they said they would be loathing each other for all eternity?" Zim asked, hating to see the female version of himself befriending a human (or Munchkin. Whatever.) who was supposed to be her mortal enemy! It was as ridiculous as him and Dib becoming friends! Not only that, but she was offering to give her a MAKEOVER! Whatever the Irk that was!
"They've put aside their differences and decided to start anew. For some people, it's not that hard," Gaz hissed.
"Oh, come off it, Earth girl!"
The show proceeded with the Glinda girl trying to make Elphaba 'popular', and quite frankly, Zim did not trust a word this girl said. She had to be playing the green girl for a fool as she pranced around the stage. She was just using this 'friendship' thing to reveal Elphaba as a witch! Well nice try Di-erGlinda! he thought to himself. Elphaba will always be on top!
"Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I
And let's face it, who isn't
Less fortunate than I?
My tender hearts tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply HAVE to take over!
I know, I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Though it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry, I'm determined to succeed!
Follow me lead!
And yes indeed, you will be….
Popular!
I'll help you be popular!
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys!
Little ways to flirt and flounce!
I'll show you what shoes to wear!
How to fix your hair!
Everything that really counts to be
Popular!
"Oh sweet Irk, make it stop!" Zim begged, unable to handle the girl's…girlyness. He tugged at his wig furiously, hoping it would stop him from jumping on stage and strangling the female.
"Just imagine her head popping on one of those high notes. It eases the pain," Gaz whispered.
Apparently Elphaba couldn't take it anymore either, as she quickly ran off the stage the first chance she got. Zim felt a sense of pride swell inside him at the insulting deed….but it was instantly shattered as he saw the green girl had actually followed Glinda's advice, for the next day she was dressed a little more lady-like.
Zim placed a claw over his human partner's hand. "Don't ever come in my base looking like that, understood?"
Gaz couldn't help but smile a little.
The invader instantly grew bored again as the goat teacher announced he was being replaced. About time, Zim thought to himself. Elphaba was distressed of course, especially when the new human doctor tells the class that animals should be locked away in cages and demonstrates with a lion cub. She then threw another magical temper tantrum, took the cage, and ran out of the classroom with Fiyero.
The two of them bickered for a while and then they….didn't. Fiyero left, leaving Elphaba in a daze. Softly she sang:
"Hands touch
Eyes meet
Sudden silence
Sudden heat
Hearts leap in a giddy whirl
He could be that boy
But I'm not that girl
Zim once again found himself terribly confused. "Uh…what's happening?"
"She's falling in love with him," Gaz informed him.
Zim's mouth dropped open. "WHAT? But he's a human-thing and she is a powerful Irk-I mean, witch! Why would she…HOW could she?"
"I don't know, just shut up!" Gaz hissed.
Zim was now beyond ticked. He thought this girl and he were one and the same! But even though he only knew about being in love for a couple of minutes, he knew Irkens would never do such a thing! That's why he had never heard of it! Shame on her for wasting time developing 'in love' with this filthy human, Munchkin or not! Besides, he loved the annoying, blonde girl. Zim hoped she snapped out of her foolishness soon.
Luckily the Morrible lady showed up to mark the end of her song. She told her that the Wizard has asked to see her and she was too depart for Emerald City immediately. Everyone came to say goodbye to her. Even Boq and Nessa, who were apparently still together. Fiyero said good-bye, acting like a nervous wreck in doing so. The blonde human changed her name to 'Glinda' (Wait, what was it before?), and Elphaba asked her to come with her to Emerald City, much to Zim's annoyance.
He instantly brightened as he saw the stage light up with brilliant green lights. He had to admit, it looked amazing. The humans were all dressed in green, the lights were shining green, everything was just so….green! Yeah, when I take over the world, this is SO going to be the design for my palace!
But the amazing effects weren't finished yet. The girls sang a bit about the city and their friendship (egh), and then came to meet the Wizard, who turned out to be a glowing animatronic head. Zim was exceedingly impressed, until a normal human came out of the magnificent machine. Wow, major let down.
The Wizard then sang to Elphaba….actually Zim didn't understand what exactly he was singing about. Something about wanting to be a father-unit. (Which was dumb in Zim' opinion. He was the ruler of the universe. What else could he want?) He then told Elphaba she had to prove herself if she wanted to work alongside him. He called for Madame Morrible, who was the Wizard's press secretary (Huh, small world), and she handed the green girl a book.
Elphaba slowly read the strange language in the book, causing a nearby monkey to sprout wings. Not just him either, a whole cage full of monkeys! Elphaba was horrified, but the Wizard couldn't be more proud. Apparently that animal story that Zim had neglected to listen to was important. The Wizard had actually been the one in charge of the whole business with imprisoning animals. Horrified, Elphaba ran out with the magic book, Glinda and guards on her tail.
"Wow….that was an unexpected turn of events that strayed off the straight path," Zim muttered.
"It's called a twist," Gaz informed him.
Glinda was the first to catch up to Elphaba as she pleaded with her to apologize for her behavior. But Elphaba refused. She said she no longer cared about working with the Wizard. She was going to do things her way from then on out. Glinda tried to change her mind, but the green girl would hear nothing of it.
"I'm through accepting limits!
Cause someone says there's so.
Some things I cannot change
But until I try I'll never know!
Too long I've been afraid of
Losing love I guess I lost!
Well if that's love
It comes at much to high a cost!
I'd sooner try defying gravity!
Kiss me goodbye!
I'm defying gravity!
And you can't pull me down!
Zim then understood why the Gaz-human liked this song so much. It was inspiring, and it made him think of his own leaders. He flashed back to what Tak had once told him, that he was nothing more than a mere joke to the Tallest. He knew it wasn't true but….why did he feel so defensive when she said that? What would he do without his Tallest's respect? What if they really didn't take him seriously? What he be able to break away from them like Elphaba was breaking away from her Wizard? It was something to be pondered.
The green girl asked Glinda to come with her, but she refused. They said they're good-byes (Good riddance! Zim had thought) and Elphaba then took to the skies. No really, she literally took to the skies. She levitated above the stage as smoke blew around her.
"So if you care to find me!
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly!
And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free!
To those who ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I'm defying gravity!
I'm flying high defying gravity
And soon I'll match them in renown!
And nobody in all of Oz
No Wizard that there is or was
Is ever going to bring ME DOWN!
SPOILER BREAK!
The curtains closed as Elphaba finished her song and was declared a wicked being by the people of Oz.
Zim blinked in surprise. "Huh, I guess the story's over." He stood up and stretched. "Well, I suppose all is right in that little Ozian world. I'm sure little Elphaba will conquer the Wizard eventually. Kudos to her. Let us be on our way now."
"Play's not over yet, Zim," Gaz informed her partner.
"Then why did they stop?"
"They're just taking a break."
"Yes, taking over the world does take a lot out of you," Zim agreed. "But I think-"
"HEY GAZ!"
"Oof!" Zim groaned as he was roughly pushed away from the goth human. He watched as a familiar human boy took his place beside the girl.
Gaz's eyes widened. "Iggens? What are you doing here?"
"Same reason you as you, my little violent violet!" the bulgy-eyed human smiled.
"You're trying to get out of a math test too?" Zim asked, oblivious to his obvious flirting.
"You don't even go to the same skool as us!" Gaz growled at the idiotic boy.
"I have my ways," he said as he inched closer to her. "Sooo….are you enjoying the musical so far?"
"Go away."
"Why? Let's watch the rest of the show together!" he wheezed.
"Did you not learn the last time that this human girl does not enjoy your company?" The Irken sneered. For some unknown reason, he was annoyed that this human was trying to ignore his presence and steal away the Earth girl's company.
"Oh right…you still exist," the human sneered. "Why don't you go chew on some vegetables?"
"HA! It is you who shall be chewing on the vegetables when I am done with you! You do not speak to the almighty Zi-"
Iggens yawned.
Zim's mouth dropped open. "Oh, OH! You DID NOT just yawn at the great Zim! Ooooh! Oh! Things just got REAL!"
"Shut it Zim. You're not cool," Gaz told him. She then turned back to her admirer. "Look pig face, I don't have time for you. I want to be able to keep my bile down by the second act, so get lost!"
"But Gaz-"
"Enough Iggens boy!" Zima announced, as he wrapped an arm around the seething human girl. "The scary human would much rather spend time with the glorious Ziiiim, because he has offered her something you never could!"
"What?"
"I said, 'The glorious Ziiiiim has offered-"
"I know what you said, but what is-"
"A star."
"What?" both humans exclaimed.
"That's right, squishy human. I, the GREAT ZIM, have plucked a star out of the solar system, and given it to this small human in exchange for her company."
"What the quack?" Gaz muttered.
"That's a lie!" Iggens growled, loathing the green menace in front of him.
"HONESTY! Not even the Gaz-human could resist a real, fire-blazing star! Something only I could obtain for her!" Zim smirked.
Iggens glared. "Well I'll bet that I can get an even better one for her!"
"Oh really?"
"Sure can! Watch my smoke!" And then he was gone.
"That ought to keep him out of our hair for a while," Zim smiled before sitting back down.
"Um…thanks," Gaz muttered.
"Hey, he gave me The Yawn! The human either left or died!"
"Shut up. Story's back on."
Spoilers resume
Sure enough, the play resumed with the Ozians singing about the years of torment the 'Witch' had brought on them. (But it's only been a few minutes! Zim thought to himself.) Glinda, Fiyero, and Madame Morrible appeared shortly after.
Glinda was now the right hand partner of the Wizard. Zim was infuriated. This was her plan all along! Pretend to be friends with the Elphaba girl so she could steal her dream job! I knew it all along! Never trust a human who can squeal higher than an aquatic animal!
Fiyero was now captain of the guard and had been searching years for Elphaba. Glinda announced to everyone that they were engaged, (whatever that meant) surprising the crowd as well as Fiyero.
What angered the Irken further was that the Morrible and human girl had made up a story of how it was Glinda who had been summoned by the Wizard and Elphaba had attacked out of jealousy. Fiyero and the blonde girl both stepped aside to agree that they didn't like treating Elphaba as a villain, but they had no choice. Or rather, Glinda had no choice.
Glinda then went on with her song about how sorry she was, but she was still happy, blah, blah, blah. Zim bought none of it. All this scene did was prove that he was right about the evil human and who knows what the boy was thinking….
The next scene came with the Nessarose and Boq, much to Zim's surprise. He had completely forgotten about them. Anyway, Elphaba appeared asking for her sister's help. She refused, stating that their father-unit was dead. Again, Zim felt no sympathy, but he was surprised that one of the characters were actually killed off.
Nessarose also revealed that she was bitter about how her sister never used her new powers to help her out of her chair.
"All of my life I depended on you
How do you think that feels?
All of my life I've depended on you
And this hideous chair with wheels!
Scourging for scraps of pity
And longing to kick up my heels…"
Personally, Zim thought she was being selfish. Here she was whining about her own life, when it was her sister who was running from the law! Maybe she was in cahoots with Glinda. She sure had been kissing up to her in the earlier acts.
Despite Zim's inner protests, Elphaha cast a spell on the shoes she had received years ago (They still fit her? Zim thought), and they gave her the ability to walk. Zim really needed to get one of those books.
Apparently, Nessarose thought walking made her more attractive, because she instantly went to Boq, expecting him to ravish her with love and affections. However, Boq still seemed hung up on Glinda as he hoped to stop their engagement.
Interesting….when humans fall in love…do they feel that way forever? Even as years go by? Mental note: ask the Gaz-human more about love later. Zim thought to himself.
Apparently, the Nessa-sister had become evil, as she was ruling the Ozians with an iron fist. She then took her sister's magic book and caused the Boq-thing to lose his heart. Zim was proud of her wicked deed, before she began another sappy song.
Save him please, oh just save him!
My poor Boq, my sweet, my brave,
Don't leave me 'til my sorry life has ceased…
All alone and loveless here
Just this girl in the mirror
Just her and me
The Wicked Witch of the East!
We deserve each other…
After that Elphaba left, claiming her sister was whiny brat who was never pleased with what she had. Or at least that's what Zim heard. Oh, and apparently she turned Boq into a robot so he wouldn't die. Cool.
Elphaba then sneaked into the Wizard's fortress, where…she was quickly discovered. The Wizard did the classic "join me" speech, but unlike most prideful villains, he did it through song.
"They call me wonderful
So I am!
In fact, it's so much who I am, that it's part of my name!
And with my help, you can be the same!
At long, long last receive your due!
Long overdue!
Elphaba, the most celebrated
Are the rehabilated!"
Zim watched in horror as Elphaba began to be sucked in to the Wizard's corny song. No! Do not listen to him! Record this annoying song so you can use it or blackmail!
At the end of the torturous charade, Elphaba agreed to the Wizard's invitation, as long as he released the flying monkeys in the process. He did so, but also accidentally revealed that he had imprisoned Dr. Dillamond. He could no longer speak and Elphaba turned on the Wizard once again.
"Woot!" Zim hooted.
The Wizard called the guards again, causing Fiyero and Fiyero to be reunited. Glinda arrived shortly, overjoyed to see her friend again. (Yeah right) But that instantly changed, as Fiyero announced that he was going with Elphaba. They left, and the blonde was left with the Wizard.
Her true evilness showing its ugly head, Glinda told the Wizard to spread a rumor that her sister was in danger. Then Elphaba would come out and then they would have their captive. As if this wasn't enough proof on how evil the human girl was, she stole one of Elphaba's songs! That MONSTER!
Well, soon she was gone, and Elphaba and Fiyero took the stage. They were holding each other and singing softly to each other.
Kiss me too fiercly
Hold me too tight
I need help believing
You're with me tonight
My wildest dreaming
Could not forsee
Lying beside you
With you wanting to me!
And just for this moment
As long as you're mine,
I've lost all resistance
And crossed some border line
And if it turns out it's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine.
"What's happening?" Zim whispered.
"It's just some mushy between Fiyero and Elphaba. They're admitting they're in love with each other, and…..that's pretty much it."
Zim's mouth dropped open in a comical fashion. "B-But-how? That human knows she's an Irk-I mean, a witch! I know the Elphaba girl had a strange emotional attachment towards him, but you can't mean to tell me that he is willing to look past her evilness and want to pursue a relationship with her!"
"Yeah. Love is crazy like that. So I hear," Gaz told him.
Zim shook his head. "Un-Irken-believable!" he muttered.
After the song, Elphaba and Fiyero continued to be 'in love', until the green girl claimed to 'feel' her sister in danger. Personally, Zim thought she was just making an exscuse to get away from the ugly human, especially after she told him it was a flying house out to get her sister-unit. However, his suspicions were dashed as the next scene showed a crushed house with a lone wheelchair beside it.
The whiny human died? Huh.
"What a touching display," Elphaba sneered, as she entered the scene. The blonde human had been mourning the pathetic human, but instantly stood at the sight of the green girl.
"I don't think we have anything left to say to one another!" she huffed.
"I wanted something to remember her by, and all that is left of her are those shoes, and now that wretched little farm girl has walked off with them. So I'd appreciate some time alone with my sister!"
"What's her problem?" Zim asked.
"She's sad because her sister died," Gaz told him.
"Why?"
"You know how normal families love each other? Well, that love makes them sad when a member dies.
"Really? You and the Dib-monster don't seem that way."
"I said normal families."
After the green girl's mourning, she decided to turn her sorrow into rage and she began to throw insults at the blonde girl. To which the blonde girl returned.
"What exactly have you been doing besides riding around on that ratty old thing?" Glinda glared.
"Well, we can't all come and go by bubble, Glinda! Whose invention was that? Was it the Wizard's? Of course, even if it wasn't he'd probably take credit for it anyway."
"Well, it seems a lot of us are taking things that don't belong to us, aren't we?"
Everyone in the audience 'ooooooooed'.
"Now wait just a tik tok. I know it may be difficult for that blissful, blonde head of yours to comprehend that someone like him could actually chose someone like me. But it's happened."
"Tell that conniving human!" Zim encouraged.
"And you can wave that ridiculous wand all you want, but you can't change it!"
"So true!' the Irken continued his rant.
"He never belonged to you! He doesn't love you, he never loved you!"
"Yes! Hurt her where it hurts the most!"
"He loves me!"
Slap!
The invader who had been rooting the entire time suddenly became silent. He could not believe his fake eyes. "She…..she slapped her! That blonde demon woman attacked her! PLEASE tell me the green girl goes enchanted on her hiney?"
Gaz didn't get a chance to answer, for Elphaba seemed to temporarily forget that she had magical powers. Instead, she decided to stoop to the Glinda girl's level and return her immature attack. This continued for a few seconds before the Wizard's soldiers came to break them up.
Elphaba finally realized that her so called "friend" had planned her capture. Zim was hoping now the girl would bust out the big, creepy, glowing, special effects. However, that stupid human boy burst in and came to the girl's rescue, resulting in his own capture.
Apparently, this did not sit well with his female alter ego. The next scene showed the girl screaming in rage by what had occurred. She began to chant in…magic-nese? Who knew, probably one of the many Earthling languages. Not only that, but she found this an appropriate time to sing.
Let his flesh not be torn.
Let his blood leave no stain.
When they beat him, let him feel no pain!
Let his bones never break, and however they try to destroy him
Let him never die!
Let him never die!
Zim was instantly pulled in to this song as it dawned on him. This girl, this green, different, non-human, girl was finally about to take over the world! About time! Zim didn't know why the capture of Fiyero was what triggered this change, but hey! He was finally going to see this girl do what she should've done since the beginning of this 'musical'!
"No good deed goes unpunished
No act of charity goes unresented
No good deed goes unpunished
That's my new creed!
My road of good intention led
Where all roads always lead
No good deed
Goes unpunished!
Although Zim got annoyed every time she mentioned Fiyero, this was the only song that the invader thoroughly enjoyed. Mostly because every word was true. Doing good deeds was pointless. It only came back to bite you in the rear. He was glad the girl had finally learned her lesson.
However, the next scene became his greatest nightmare. All the huma-Ozians had formed an angry mob to come and get the witch. Not that Zim didn't think she could handle them, but the girl had a bad habit of not remembering the power she held. Even the Boq-boy, who the green girl had saved, was now turning against the girl. Ungrateful little metal man!
Oh, and now the blonde girl apparently felt bad for getting Elphaba's sister killed and ruining her reputation. Oh, and it turned out the Morrible lady was the one who started the cyclone. So, Glinda ran to go warn Elphaba of her impending doom…though Zim had no idea why.
The green girl was apparently holding the shoe-stealing girl hostage, much to Glinda's dismay. Zim braced himself for the battle that was about to commence. Finally he would get to see a war between the two girls! Finally, there would be blood….
Not.
Right before the battle could commence, Elphaba got a letter stating the Fiyero-boy was dead. That annoyed Zim enough, but what made it worse was the fact the girl decided to SURRENDER! She GAVE UP without even starting the battle! Zim felt sick.
"No, no, no, no, NO!" Zim growled. "Why does that boy have such a strong hold on that girl's decision making?"
Oh, but it got worse. Another song began after this announcement. And this one was by far the worse yet.
I'm limited.
Just look at me.
I'm limited.
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn't do, Gllinda
So now it's up to you
For both of us
Now it's up to you
"You're the only friend I've ever had," Elphaba told her.
"And I've had so many," Glinda sobbed. "But only one that really mattered."
"I've heard it said
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn
Zim couldn't listen any more. He could not believe after all the build-up, all the acts of betrayal…..they decided to make amends. And now they were finishing up with a mushy song? What a terrible ending! The Elphaba girl wasn't going to take over the world? She wasn't going to kill the blonde human? She wasn't going to get those oh-so important shoes? She wasn't even going to FIGHT?
Nope. As soon as the song was done, Elphaba sent her away and she LET the filthy Ozians pour water on her, and kill her. This convinced Zim that this girl was definitely a humanized Irken. She even shared his weakness!
Well, the Glinda girl pretended to be sad (Zim still didn't trust her) and then went back to the Wizard and Morrible. Despite his disappointment in this story, the Irken got a huge surprise once he learned the Wizard was the Elphaba's true father-unit. He even grew a shred of respect for the Glinda girl when she kicked him out of Oz and threw the Morrible in prison. Giving the boot to the ones who helped you reach fame? Sinisterly evil!
And what's more, the Fiyero-boy returned as a man made out of straw! And what's this? Elphaba had been hiding under a trap door? They decide to leave Oz and start a life together (Zim held back his groan), but not before one final song.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better, but
Because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed….
No one mourns the Wicked! The Ozians belted out
Wicked!
Wicked
WICKED!
Spoilers Over!
"What do you mean she's not real? I just saw her!" Zim fumed as he left the building with his partner.
"It was just a story," Gaz groaned. She knew he was dense, but this was taking the cake. "You can't blackmail her into helping us take over the world."
Zim sputtered. "What makes you think I was going to-why not?"
"Because the person playing Elphaba has no real power."
"Not true! Lies! I saw her magic! Do not attempt to fool meeeeeeeee!" Zim screeched.
"They were just special effects, Zim. Nothing more," she argued.
"Nonbeliever."
"Sissy-boy."
"Creepy kid."
"Vegetable head."
"Square head."
"Zipper teeth."
"Girl-whose-hair-looks-like-open-snake-jaw!"
"VILLAINY!"
That one did not come from the duo. They turned their heads to see a certain someone that they both would like to choke.
"Stay out of this, Dib-stink! Can't you see I'm losing an argument with your sister?" Zim screeched.
The boy only fumed as he marched in front of his little sister. "I warned you to stay away from her Zim! Now you'll have to face the consequences!"
Gaz raised an eyebrow before pointing to the auditorium. "Did….you just come out of there?"
"Yeah, so?" her brother asked.
"Nothing, I just thought we would've run into you in there. Not often you and Zim are apart."
"Now's not the time for that!" Dib frowned, turning back to the alien. "I want you to let her go!"
"Yeah? Well, I want to open my own zoo full of Irish zebras! You can't always get what you want Dib!"
The boy shook his head. "What? Irish zebras? There's no such thing!"
"Now you see why it's so DIFFICULT?"
"Whatever Zim! I'm taking my baby sister-"
"I'm not a baby!" Gaz fumed.
"Until you pay rent, you are a baby to me!" Dib informed her.
"Hey! Who's the one who scared them into giving us more time?"
"Who's the one who picks up Bigfoot's dung every afternoon to pay for the rent?"
"Well, who's the one who reads the comics every Sunday morning in the newspaper?"
The Membrane siblings turned their heads towards the Irken in confusion. He scratched the back of his head nervously. "Hahe, sorry. I was feeling a little left out there."
Dib shook his head and grabbed his sister's hand. "Gaz, we're leaving."
"No."
Dib froze. "W-What?"
"I said no."
"W-W-Why?"
"Well for one thing we need the bus to leave. Second of all, I'm not leaving my partner," she revealed to her overly-neglectful brother.
Dib peed his pants before whispering, "WHAT? What do you mean?"
"I mean Zim asked me to help-"
"Aid!"
"Shut up, Zim."
"Hmph."
"Anyway, I've been living with Zim for the past few days. We've been plotting to take over the world, and I gotta say, we've had some crazy adventures!" the pale girl sneered, enjoying the look of despair on her brother's face.
"This can't be….." Dib breathed.
"Oh, it be," Zim whispered in his ear.
The human boy sunk to his knees. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
"Yes," Gaz smirked. She marched over to her partner and grabbed his arm. "Let's go, Zim."
The green boy growled. "Stop yanking me, woman!"
"Shut up! I still haven't forgiven you for earlier!"
"Oh sweet Irk, LET THAT GO!"
"Keep it up, and YOU'LL be sleeping on the couch tonight!"
"What? How dare you…"
Dib had no choice but to watch on in horror as his sister walked off with his arch enemy. This couldn't be happening….his sister was cruel, but she wasn't evil, right? No, there had to be a mistake!
"Gaz, you get back here this minute! I mean it! Gaz, I swear I'll break out the belt…..that's in my other pants! Gaz, I'm going to count to three! One….two…two and a half…..two and- GAZ COME BACK! GAZ? GAAAAAAAAAAAAZ!"
30 pages. 30 pages of IRRELEVENCE! Can you guys ever forgive me? I promise we'll get back on track on the next chapter! I think this is one of the worst pieces I have ever done. But it's over now. I'm sorry, the next chapter will be better, I promise.
But hey, maybe some die-hard Wicked fans will like this. (Shrugs)