DUN DUN DUN! EXCITEMENT!

First of all, I am so proud of you readers for not mentioning the Mexican restaurant. Second of all, I'm surprised no one reacted to Dipper looking in the journal in the middle of the night! Time to see just how paranoid he really is.

I would say this is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever written, but I just posted a one-shot about twin telepathy and menstrual cramps and nothing could ever top that for weirdness. Although this chapter does have some remarkably similar themes.

Aaron knows something is wrong when Dipper waves him over to sit in the most secluded corner of the school library. Instead of sitting across from him, his friend paces around the table anxiously.

"Hey, man, I don't want to be weird about this. But I think there's something that you haven't been telling me."

Aaron's heart lurches in his throat. He just came here to get the homework he missed from his sick day, not to be confronted with his feelings for Mabel. They are one month into their junior year, and he is happy to keep the status quo going for as long as possible.

"I just… there's a couple things you've been doing that make me think…" Dipper continues. "I… don't know how to say this."

Aaron's been trying so hard to be chill in front of Dipper. He's been trying not to study her too long or smile when she laughs or anything else that might give him away, but now it seems that it's all been for naught. Dipper sits down and puts his head in his hands. They are good friends now, and Dipper isn't going to yell at him the way he had yelled at those boys freshman year, even if Mabel is his only sister and best friend and he would protect her with his life, right?

Right?

There's only one way to do this. Dipper hasn't made an accusation like this since he was twelve, and he really hasn't missed the scorn and derision that usually follow close behind. Dipper pictures the keys in Wendy's hand, takes a deep breath, and spits it out.

"Okay, I'm just gonna hope this doesn't offend you or make you lose all respect for me. But I sort of think you might be… a werewolf?"

Aaron blinks.

"Yes? No? Close?" Dipper waves his open palms across the table.

Another indiscernible flick of the eyelids.

"Right genus? Different species?" Dipper prods.

Aaron's eyelid twitches. "Are you kidding me?"

"Look, maybe I've just read Harry Potter way too many times, but for the past year you've always been gone on the day of the full moon, and you sort of look like you've been up way too many late nights. Also, you smell like raw meat sometimes. And I'm really sorry if that's due to, like, a medical condition or something, and I shouldn't have drawn attention to it. You know what, this was a bad idea. If you tell me you're not a werewolf, I'll believe you."

Aaron bites his lip. "I'm not a werewolf. And I am really worried about you."

Dipper sighs deeply. "Yeah, I understand why you would be. Well, I just wanted to let you know that it's okay if you are a werewolf. I mean, I've been researching a lot about the species and a lot of that horror stuff, it's just legend, you know?"

"Not all of it?" Aaron raises his eyebrows in disbelief.

"I mean, most modern werewolves are pretty domesticated and aren't really more dangerous than other dogs, like, they don't feast on human flesh, and wow, I sound crazy." Dipper has a math test to study for, and he's wasting precious time humiliating himself. "The point is, you're a really good friend, and you being a werewolf would never, ever change that. Just like I hope you'll still be friends with me after discovering I'm a lunatic." Dipper holds out his hand for a fist bump.

Aaron fist bumps him, his face still a mask of pure bewilderment.

"Are we good?" Dipper asks, more than a little concerned that he has burnt his best friendship bridge behind him.

Aaron's eyes abruptly fill with tears.

"What?" Dipper's eyes dart around the library as the friend he's never seen even the slightest bit emotional starts to sob. And not quietly, either. "Oh my gosh, are you okay?"

Did he really take being friends with a conspiracy theorist harder than Dipper would take being friends with a werewolf?

"Did you mean that? Would you really accept me, if I was a monster? No one's ever said that to me before," Aaron manages, wiping his nose on his shirt.

"Yeah, um, if you ever get bitten, you can always call this guy."

Aaron doesn't stop crying. Dipper begins to worry that there are some underlying issues at play. "Is this… is this about something else?"

"No," Aaron says, taking a shuddering breath. "That's just such a relief to hear."

"Yeah, um…" Dipper pats his friend's shoulder uncomfortably. "Yeah."

He sends Mabel a text. Not Aaron.

Are you sure? The frowning emoticon she sends might as well have her puppy eyes.

He winces, hiding his phone in his math book. Continuing investigation. But pretty darn sure.

At the beginning of November, Aaron calls Dipper while he's writing an essay in his bedroom.

"Um, I don't know how to say this." His voice is gruff. "But I can't just keep living the lie… and we were in a public place last time… and, um… I actually am a werewolf."

Well, that makes more sense. Dipper sits up, closing his laptop. "Oh. Okay. Thanks for telling me, man." He knows it wouldn't be right to gloat, but his twelve-year-old self is doing cartwheels inside.

"I hope this doesn't make things weird. I've never been allowed to tell my friends before. My parents were all… yeah, it doesn't matter. Did you tell… I mean, does Mabel know?"

"Nah, not yet, but she isn't gonna mind. Trust me. We saw stranger stuff in Gravity Falls all the time when we were kids."

"Gravity Falls! No way! I've got family there!" Aaron says.

"Really? What part of town?" Dipper marvels at the small world in which they live.

"Uh… the woods. In a cave."

"Cool."

A little laugh escapes Aaron's throat. "You know, when you confronted me the other day, I thought you were gonna say you'd figured out… I liked your sister."

"Dude, literally everyone knows that. If you're into Mabel, you should go for it."

Aaron takes a deep breath. "Thanks. Listen, if I ever transform and endanger either of you guys, you don't hesitate to shoot me on the spot. Okay?"

Dipper bites his lip uncomfortably. "I, uh, I'd rather… I have a dog whistle. Would that work?"

"Yeah," Aaron says after a moment of thought. "Just blow it really loud. Don't hold back."

In the short silence that follows, they come to the unspoken agreement that if Aaron ever breaks her heart, he can expect his ears to bleed profusely.

"Okay. Cool. Talk to you later, man."

Dipper hangs up and pounds on the wall next to him. "Aaron's fine!"

"What?" Mabel calls. He hears her bound over to press her ear against the wall.

"If you wanna date Aaron, he's fine."

"We've been dating for like two weeks, Sherlock!" she calls back.

"Oh, wow, good to know!" Dipper flips upside down on the bed and kicks his feet up on his poster of the Milky Way in irritation.

"Just casually! Gosh!"

"He's got something to tell you, though!"

Mabel gasps. "Is he going into the army?"

"Hmm, I don't think that was it," Dipper teases.

"Is he a secret agent?"

"I just can't remember."

Mabel screeches. "Does he have head lice?"

"I really don't see why I should be keeping you informed when you aren't doing likewise."

"I'm sorry, bro! Just…ahhhh! TELL ME NOW!"

He hears the squeaking as she jumps up and down on her bed. Dipper grins to himself.

"Ask him yourself! Next time you go out, as I hear you so often do."

He swears he can hear her pouting on the other side of the wall.

Mabel takes a long, thoughtful sip of her hot chocolate before she speaks.

"You know, I'm already sixteen, and I've gone on a buttload of dates with a buttload of guys but I've never really had a boyfriend. It's just like, oh, I could go out with you because you've got nice eyes, or oh, I could be your girlfriend because of your amazing dimples, or because you bought me stuff, but then I think about it and it's like naaaaaaahhhh."

Aaron reddens and shifts in the café chair. He isn't quite sure where this is going.

"You know, there was a time in my life when I would have been happy to date you just because you're a werewolf. And don't get me wrong, that is an amazing perk. But I could go out with any old werewolf up in Gravity Falls. I could literally have my pick of the litter."

"You- what?"

She grabs Aaron's hand. "But the really special thing is having a chance to date one of the best friends I've ever had."

Mabel doesn't realize until she says it that maybe this is what she's been waiting for.

Yay! Love for Mabel!

That whole delayed-confession thing is further evidence of my really odd sense of humor. It'll be going back to normal (?) soon... as normal as their lives ever are... :) R & R makes my day!