Lily walked around the outside edge of the quidditch pitch during the game, not wanting to sit down in the stands, but also not wanting to miss a moment of the action. She paced nervously, sneaking glances through the wooden rafters every now and then.
After about two hours into the game, she heard Lovegood start to scream excitedly over the announcer speakers. Lily ran to the open area leading onto the field and stairways, looking out onto the field. The Slytherin players were coming down, dismounting their brooms angrily, while the Gryffindor players were circling excitedly through the air.
Gryffindor had won.
Lily didn't know whether to smile for her house or cry for her best friend. Brii was already walking off of the field, broom in her hand, heading straight for the castle. Lily did a double-take, then ran to catch up with her.
"Riddle! Riddle!" she yelled after her.
"What, Evans?" Brii asked angrily.
"He's still kicking you off the team?" she asked.
"Yep. Told the team they were having try-outs on Monday for a new chaser. Damn git" Brii said, suddenly turning around and facing Lily. "You know…he thinks he can just throw me off of the team because of that fucking bet. Like what I did hurt my game in some way…" Brii said, fuming. "I just played that entire fucking game without saying a damned word! While I had to listen to Sirius bitching and…and…all the damned Slytherins sneering at me, yelling their obnoxious quips and shit! I DIDN'T SAY A FUCKING WORD! And he says I'm the problem? UGH!" she screamed. Brii turned back to Lily, pointing at her, "If you weren't in love with him, I'd cut off his fucking balls and hang them in the clock tower…" she said, turning back around and leaving Lily standing on the hillside.
Lily watched her walk up the hill, then turned and looked back towards the pitch. As soon as she turned, she found a pair of hazel eyes staring at her as he was carried off of the pitch high in the air by the Gryffindor crowd. She shook her head at him, turning and walking up the hill to the castle.
Lily knew they would be having a party in Gryffindor Tower that would probably last atleast until midnight. She walked up to the Heads Dorm, curling up on the couch with her book, taking the time so that she could read in silence.
Gryffindor Tower wasn't far from the Heads Dorm, she could hear the celebration going on through the open window. Finally, she gave up on reading, deciding she would do her rounds by herself since she knew James would be preoccupied.
She walked down the hall towards the Tower, following the loud music flowing through the hall. On the way there, she remembered telling at least three couples (one couple dressed in costume) to go find an empty classroom, and that they'd better not be making out in the hall when she came back. Didn't these kids have more respect for themselves?
She kept walking, stopping in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady. She shook her head, then continued walking past it, deciding she didn't need to be in there with the mood she was in.
After walking around the castle for two hours, she finally started back up the stairs towards the Head Dorm, passing the fading music of Gryffindor Tower and continuing down the halls.
As she ascended the stairs, she heard the sound of giggling behind her. She turned, expecting to see fourth years tripping up the stairs. Instead, she turned to find James, falling up the stairs, a girl dressed as an angel hanging on his arm, giggling madly. Lily was fuming inside.
"Ending that dry spell, I see, Potter" she said, raising an eyebrow at the top of the stairs.
"Oooo…are we in trouble? What are you going to do, whore?" the girl said, giggling.
"I'll punch your fucking face in, that's what I'll do" Lily said, gritting her teeth and walking down a couple of stairs towards them.
James stepped between them, loosing his balance and tripping on one of the stairs. He grabbed Lily's arm to steady himself.
Lily glared at his off-balance figure. "I don't have time for this. Enjoy your evening, Potter" she said, walking up the stairs quickly to their dorm. James stared after her, letting her walk away for a moment before bounding clumsily up the stairs after her.
She gave the password, walking into the common room angrily, picking up the first thing she could find and hurling it across the room. The vase shattered on the stone wall as James stepped into the room.
"Alright there, Evans?" he said, tripping over his own feet as he tried to lean against the wall.
"No. No I am not alright" she said angrily.
"So now you're angry with me?" he asked.
"Am I not allowed to be angry?" she asked him, her hands resting on her hips.
"What the hell are you angry about?" he said loudly.
"I don't know, Potter, maybe the fact that you're drunk and you were just out there snogging a 4th year! That's disgusting! Don't you have any pride for yourself?" she asked him quickly.
"I did. Until a couple of days ago when someone ripped my heart from my chest, threw it on the ground and did a fucking rain dance on it!" he yelled.
"Oh don't even blame your sorrows on me, Potter!" she said hoarsely. "You won the damned quidditch game today, have had all those people eating out of your hands, screaming your name! You've had a damned good day today! There is no reason for you to be making out with fourth years in a drunken stupor! No excuse, James!" she yelled.
He strode across the room quickly, standing less than a foot from her body, "Oh really? It's Halloween, Evans! What do you suggest I should be doing?" he asked her angrily.
She could smell the whiskey on his breath as he stood so closely to her. She didn't want to take advantage of how drunk he was, knowing he could probably fall into anything. She wouldn't take advantage of this, she cared too much about him to do it.
"You should be in bed. You're drunk. You don't know what you're doing" she told him quickly.
"I don't?" he asked.
"No. No, you don't" she said again. She felt his breath on her face, enticing her. Her lips were quivering as it took every bone in her body to resist him.
"I know that I'm about to kiss the bitch that broke my heart and paraded it around this castle like a fucking first place trophy" he whispered, leaning down and capturing her lips with his. Her heart skipped a beat. She didn't realize how much she'd missed his lips, how much she'd missed his touch. Wait…what was she doing…he's drunk!
She pushed him away quickly, wishing she didn't have to. Why did he have to be so damned irresistible? He stared back at her, taken aback by her refusal of him.
"I guess you really did only want me for one night" he said quietly, turning his back on her and walking towards the stairs.
Lily felt the tears rolling down her face. He wouldn't understand tonight, there was no sense in arguing.
James awoke the next morning with a massive headache. Looking around him, he realized he'd slept outside on his balcony, naked. What the hell happened last night?
The last thing he remembered completely was talking to Remus at the party in Gryffindor tower. After that, things became fuzzy, only getting small flashes in his mind. He got up, stepping into his room and walking into the bathroom. He needed a long, hot shower to clear his head.
After his shower, he put on a pair of jogging pants and a sweatshirt, intent on going for a run that morning. As he walked down the stairs, he saw red hair lying on the couch. Had he said anything to her last night? Why was she on the couch?
As much as he wanted to ignore her, continue out the door on his run, he couldn't. He needed to know what happened last night.
"Evans…Evans…" he said, quietly. "Lily!" he exclaimed, standing in front of the fireplace.
Her head shot up, startled by his voice. She fell off of the couch as she tried to sit up. James couldn't help but laugh. He tried covering his face, hiding his smile.
She looked up at him through her wild hair, seeing the smirk on his face. "Amused, Potter?" she asked, picking up a pillow and chucking it at his feet. "What do you want?" she asked, unsure of why he was waking her up when he had been avoiding starting any kind of conversation with her.
He ran a hand through his hair nervously, sitting down in the armchair behind him. "I was..umm…I was wondering if you could tell me…" he rubbed his neck, taking a deep breath. "I was wondering if you could tell me what I did last night" he added quickly.
She raised her eyebrows, running a hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face. "Which bit? The bit where you almost fucked a 4th year or…" she started to say.
"A fourth year?" he exclaimed.
She held a hand up, "Or…or the part where you kissed me?" she said, pressing her lips together as she glared at him.
James laid his head in his hands, "I kissed you?" he asked quietly.
"Mm…yes…and rather forcefully I might add" she told him.
He shook his head. "How drunk was I?"
"Are you asking how drunk you were because you would never kiss me sober or because you can't remember?" she asked, somewhat offended.
He swallowed hard, looking up at her green eyes. A sadness lingered in them. "Nothing else happened?" he asked softly.
She glared at him as she stood up from the floor, "No. Nothing. Don't worry, James. I didn't take advantage of your vulnerability a second time" she told him.
"So you're admitting that's what you did the first time?" he asked her.
"No. Simply stating what you think I did" she said, her voice barely audible.
"It's kind of hard not to think that when you learn it was all a lie" he told her.
She turned around, her fists clenched tightly as she addressed him. "It. Was. Not. A. Lie! If it had been a lie, you would have woken up in my bed this morning. You know why? Because that would have shown that you were nothing but a damn good fuck to me!" she yelled, throwing her hands in the air.
"But you're more than that! You're more than just another fuck to me! Don't you understand that?" she yelled helplessly.
"You always asked what I wanted, who I was…I tried to be someone else. For six years, I was someone else. But after being with you, I know who I am, I know what I want!" she said to him, her eyes pleading with him.
He shook his head silently, not wanting to give in.
She almost laughed at him, "What is it? Your pride? I didn't think you had any left…" she told him, stepping onto the stairs, walking up to her room.
James stood, picking up her book and hurling across the room. He hadn't been aiming for the window, but it flew through it, shattering the glass.
Lily stopped halfway up the spiral staircase, turning back to him, her eyes wide. "YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!" she screamed, running down the stairs and to the window.
"That's just fucking great, Potter! Hurl my book out the window like a damn child!" she screamed at him.
"Oh grow up, Evans. You are a witch, why don't you try a summoning spell" he told her, turning his back and heading towards the portrait hole.
Lily grabbed her Charms book from the floor, lunging at James and hitting his back repeatedly with it, "That. Is. NOT. THE. POINT!" she screamed.
James went to turn around, feeling her hit his back with the large, hardcover book. But he wasn't quick enough, she jumped on his back, pulling at his hair.
"Fuck! Evans! What the hell! Get off of me!" James yelled, trying to pull her legs from around him. She grabbed the hood of his sweatshirt, pulling it backwards. James couldn't breathe. She was choking him. He grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling it forward.
The more she pulled backwards on his hood, the more off-balance James became. Finally he stumbled backwards on to the floor, Lily's back hitting it hard as James landed with his back on top of her.
She hit the back of her head on the bookshelf below the window, immediately she let go of his sweatshirt, her hand reaching to the place, feeling blood starting to mat in her hair. She groaned.
James didn't sit up immediately, trying to get a feel of his body to see if he'd hurt anything. He heard her groan beneath him. Sitting up, he twisted his torso around, looking at Lily's agonized expression.
She looked at her bloody hand, "Ugh, damn you James Potter" she groaned as she stared up at his face.
Suddenly, she felt stupid for what she'd just done, her face growing into a silly smile. She laughed, looking up in his hazel eyes. "Gods, I can't believe I just did that" she whispered.
He shook his head, grabbing her hand and pulling her up to a sitting position. She took her other hand, pushing the hair away from her face, looking at his neck, which was quickly bruising. She reached out to him cautiously, touching his bruising neck.
"I didn't mean to…" she whispered, touching it gently.
His skin burned beneath her touch, relishing what he'd been missing his whole life. He looked down at her bloody hand and back to her face. "We should get you to the hospital wing" he told her quietly.
She shook her head vigorously, "No, no. I'll be fine. It's just a scratch" she told him, her head throbbing with pain.
She felt his hand graze her neck, his fingertips delicately touching her. Her body trembled at his touch. She opened her eyes, staring in to his hazel ones, "What are you doing, James?" she whispered, her head leaning into his touch.
"Judging by the gash on the back of your head? I'd say I'm tormenting you" he said, a small smile growing on his face.
She groaned, her body limping in his arms. "Fuck you, James Potter" she told him weakly, her eyes fluttering as he caressed the small of her neck with his thumb.
He laughed quietly, studying her face. As his hand touched her neck, he felt a drop of blood hit his fingers. "Lily, we have to get you to the hospital wing" he urged her.
Lily opened her eyes, staring at him, "I don't want to move" she whispered, her hand covering his as it reached up, cupping her cheek softly.
James leaned in, nuzzling her nose softly. She could smell his freshly shampooed hair, his smell intoxicating her. She didn't know how much more of this she could take. She couldn't think straight, her heart beating madly in her chest. She was lightheaded, and she wasn't sure if it was from the gash on her head or from the way he was touching her so delicately.
He swallowed hard, not sure of what he was doing anymore. Without thinking, he closed the small gap between their lips, kissing her softly. She didn't have much energy left in her, feeling it waning as the blood matted in her hair. But she had enough energy in her to kiss him back, matching his intensity, his longing for her.
Suddenly, Lily felt her mind go blank, flashes of white light flashing in front of her eyes. James pulled away from her, feeling her grow tense beneath him. As he stared at her, he saw her eyes start to flutter, her body shake vigorously. In a split second she stopped shaking, her body going limp in his arms.
James shook her, "Lily…Lily!" he yelled at her. He shook his head, "Damn stubborn, bull-headed…ugh!" he muttered. Quickly he picked her up in his arms, carrying her up to the hospital wing.
He ignored the glances he received in the hall. Few students were awake, but he knew the rumor would be all over the school by lunch that he'd tried to kill her.
Upon reaching the hospital wing, he had to explain why she had a large gash on her head, and why it'd taken him so long to bring her to the infirmary, which was a little harder to explain.
"Sorry, Madame Pomfrey, she's just so damned stubborn" he told her, which wasn't a complete lie.
"Very well. It shouldn't take long to patch her up. Give me a few minutes. I suppose you'll be staying?" Pomfrey asked.
"Oh. Well, I really should be…" James said quickly. "Yeah, I should be going. Tell her I'll stop by later" he added.
Pomfrey gave him a expectant look before turning around and leaving James standing in the middle of the room by himself. He glanced over at Lily, lying on the bed beside him. He didn't know what was going on with him, he was supposed to be furious with her, wasn't he?
James went through his normal routine the rest of the day, going for his jog, having lunch with the marauders, doing some studying after lunch and then sitting in the Gryffindor common room with the guys after supper.
He couldn't concentrate much during the day, his mind wandering back to Lily, wondering how she was. It was only when Brii came up to him after supper that he realized where he'd needed to be all day.
"Potter!" Brii yelled at him as she went into the common room.
"Riddle" he said, addressing her.
"Why the fuck is Evans in the hospital wing? What did you do to her? Why didn't you tell me?" she yelled.
"She's the one that knocked me over, sending herself backwards onto the bookshelf, gashing her head open! I didn't do anything!" he yelled back at her.
"She jumped you, Prongs?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Sounds pretty serious, is she ok?" Remus said, more concerned about Lily's well-being than her sex drive.
"What happened?" Peter asked, fully interested now.
James shook his head, "It was nothing, just another fight" he said quietly.
"You're such a bastard, Potter. I thought you were better than this, thinking that you of all the Marauders actually had a heart" Brii told him, walking away quickly.
James stared at his hands a minute, fumbling with his fingers. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, "I'd better go check on her" he said softly.
"Are you serious, mate?" Sirius asked him as James stood, his face scrunched up in confusion.
"Yeah. Yeah I am" James told him.
"After everything she did, you're concerned about her?" Sirius asked, not wanting to believe that his best friend was even thinking about this.
"Padfoot, sometimes you have to know when to fight. I'm not running from this one" James told him seriously, glancing at Remus's smiling expression. He left the Great Hall, walking straight to the infirmary.
"Miss Evans?" Madame Pomfrey said when he arrived, asking where Lily was. "She was released an hour ago. Is she not in her dorm?" the woman asked him.
James sighed, walking backwards and out of the infirmary to his dorm. She wasn't in their common room. She wasn't in her bedroom.
Where was she? He stood on the hall between their rooms, hands on his hips as he pondered the thought of where she might be. Fortunately, Sirius had given him back the Marauder's Map that morning.
He bounded to his room, quickly opening it, saying the words "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," and watching the ink spread across its pages. He looked all over for her, finally finding her dot. It was right beside his. He looked around the room, confused.
Looking back at the map, he noticed her dot was outside of the boundary line, like she was floating in midair. He turned to his window, now noticing that it was cracked open.
James walked to the window, seeing her figure standing against the stone wall, looking out at the forest and waning moon that loomed overhead. He opened the window quietly, stepping out onto the balcony.
"I see you healed well" he said suddenly.
She jumped, hearing his voice cut through the cold wind. "Oh, yes. Didn't take her long" she told him quietly, blushing as she looked down at his feet.
He stepped closer to her, "I'm sorry I didn't stay"
"Do you regret not staying?" she asked.
"No, but-" he started to say.
"Then don't apologize. I'm not a girl that needs explanations for every minute of the day" she said, giving him a weak smile.
He ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Right. I keep forgetting how independent you are"
She snorted, "How the hell could you forget that? It's only taken you six years to break down this wall" she said, shaking her head.
"Because of how vulnerable you get when you're around me" he told her softly, now standing beside her, leaning against the stone wall also.
She glared at him, "I'm not that vulnerable. You make me sound like a weakling."
He turned, facing her, studying her face. Reaching a hand up to her cheek, he caressed it softly, his warm hand sending a fire through her body. She leaned into his hand, closing her eyes, her hair falling over her face.
"Sometimes you are" he whispered to her.
He pulled his hand away from her, walking back towards the window then, leaving her unsteady. She became slightly off-balance, gripping onto the wall as he walked away. She became angry then, tired of his constant teasing, just because he knew he could.
"Why do you do that? Why, James? You're killing me!" she said agonizingly. "Gods, what do you want me to do? You want me to fall on the floor? Beg for forgiveness the rest of my life? James, I'm standing here, fighting for you! If I didn't want you so badly I…I, I wouldn't be on this balcony fighting for a chance!" she said helplessly to him.
She shook her head, her hands on her hips as she looked past him, towards the trees before continuing. "Gods, why don't you just bury me? Bury me and put me out of the misery of this selfish life…" she begged.
"I can't do that, Lily" he whispered.
"Why the hell not?" she asked loudly. "You don't want me, but yet you can't seem to be without me! Why can't you make up your fucking mind, James!" she yelled.
"Because I don't know what I want!" he yelled. She glared at him, her hands on her hips.
He ran a hand through his hair, "I know that I want you, I just don't know how I can be with you after what you did" he told her quietly.
She pressed her lips together, tapping her foot impatiently. After taking a deep breath, she started walking towards him, pushing past him. "Well, when you figure out how you can be with me, send me an owl" she said harshly as she stepped through the window past him.
He stared after her, watching her red hair flow delicately behind her. Why wouldn't his head let him forget?
A/N::: Thanks for the reviews!
I hope i'm not dragging it out or boring you guys...let me know if i am!
Please review! They're really helpful! :-)