Lying Is The Most Fun A Boy Can Have Without Burning All His Clothes Off
Kitty leaned against the wall and popped a stick of gum in her mouth. "Almost done?"
"Yeah," Bruce continued collecting his papers from the lecture he just finished. "Let's go home." He shoved the pages in his briefcase and snapped the lock.
"Great." Kitty kissed his cheek and locked her arm to his. They had just started to walk out of the lecture hall when:
"Dr. Banner," Luke walked up to Kitty and Bruce. "Can I have a word alone, please?"
"Can it wait?" Bruce asked as he glanced at his watch. "We were just-"
"It's about the questions on page 114." Luke nodded to the book in his hand. "It'll be fast, my girlfriend Lindy is waiting outside."
"I'll let you two talk." Kitty smiled at Bruce before leaving the room. A girl was standing outside, a cell phone in her hand. Her highlighted blonde hair was straightened and her blue eyes were lined with dark eyeliner.
"Hey." The girl smiled at Kitty. "I'm Lindy."
"Kitty. I'm Dr. Banner's-"
"Girlfriend." Lindy finished. She looked back down at her phone and started typing. "Yeah, I know. Everyone on campus is talking about you two. There's a Twitter thread with theories on why you're with him."
"Oh, great…" Kitty pressed her lips together and looked around at the empty hall.
"Don't get me wrong," Linda said quickly. "Dr. Banner is like, totally cute in the Matty-from-13-Going-On-30, nerd-with-glasses way, but like, you're hot." She looked Kitty up and down. "Victoria's Secret model hot. And he's an adorable nerd that looks like he could pick up a three, four maybe." She went back to texting. "Definitely not a ten."
Kitty was stunned at the girl's brashness. They stood there in the hall for several moments, the only sound was the tapping of Lindy's fake nails against her phone screen. Kitty crossed her arms over her chest and asked, "So, uh, how long have you and Luke been dating?"
"Oh, we're not, like, dating-dating." Lindy assured her swiftly. "You know how it is."
Kitty's eyebrows knit together. "Uh, no, not really."
"Well, I just agreed to go out on one date because I felt bad for him."
"Why?"
"Well," Lindy leaned in closer to Kitty and whispered, "He's kind of a nerd. Doesn't have any friends. Really sad." She straightened up and continued texting.
Inside the lecture hall, Bruce answered all of the boy's questions completely, but they seemed too simple for Luke to be worried over. Bruce's eyes flicked down to a peeling chemical burn on Luke's hand.
"Are you okay?"
"What, why?" Luke asked quickly.
Bruce pointed to the wound. "Your hand looks like it's burned pretty badly."
"Oh, yeah." Luke laughed. "My friends and I were watching 'Fight Club' and we tried the kiss burn."
Bruce shook his head and looked at Luke in disbelief. "Don't do that."
"Besides," Outside in the hall, Lindy smiled at Kitty. "If someone like you is dating someone like him," She nodded to the door, which opened at that moment. "Then maybe nerds are worth the social blow."
"Hey, Kitten," Bruce walked up and kissed her cheek. "You ready to go?"
"Yeah," She turned to the college student. "It was great talking to you, Lindy." Kitty smiled and walked off with Bruce. Once they were in the car, Kitty finally blurted out, "I think there's something wrong with the kid."
"What?"
Kitty glanced away from the road to see Bruce's confused face. "I mean, like, probably nothing seriously wrong," She gripped the steering wheel tighter. "But he kinda gives me the creeps."
"Why?"
"Well, that girl he said was his girlfriend? Linda?"
Bruce nodded. "Yeah."
"She's not actually his girlfriend."
"So?"
"So?" Kitty squeaked. "So he lied!"
"And you've never told a lie?" Bruce asked pointedly.
"What? No, that's got nothing to do with this. And did you see the girl?" Kitty didn't wait for him to answer. "Blonde hair, blue eyes? Remind you of anyone?"
"So, the kid likes blondes." Bruce leaned closer to her and murmured, "Who doesn't?"
"I don't think he actually likes blondes."