ThatRandomGuyLoud: My favorite part is honestly just waking up everyday to see reviews. Thank you!

For HereIAm, Archer Nut, Guest, Guest and IChangedMyName.

Part I (HereIAm & Archer Nut): Vernon, Voldemort, Fred & George, Molly and Petunia.

Part II (Guest): Minerva, Dumbledore and Petunia.

Part III (Guest & IChangedMyName): Vernon, Remus, Harry, Umbridge and Marge

PART I

Molly and Petunia were both shopping at a muggle mart.

Fred, George and Vernon had been dragged along.

Petunia looked up, only to see Fred and George having scared their mother so bad that she- Petunia gagged.

"CONTROL YOUR SONS!" Petunia screeched.

Fred and George turned on her.

"Here's a tarantula!" Fred sneered, showing her one.

Petunia screamed.

"NOW I HAVE TO TAKE A SHOWER! URGH!"

"Harry sends his love!" George called after her.

"HOW DARE YOU?" Vernon roared. Molly was running toward him, about to knock him over for getting too close to her sons.

"Yes, how dare you?" Voldemort asked. Wait, Voldemort?

Molly screamed and the twins backed away quickly.

Vernon turned round and punched Voldemort.

Voldemort turned round and punched Vernon.

They kept punching each other until Voldemort flew away and Vernon ran home on his chubby feet.

"Let's go, boys! I've got to take a shower too." Molly squeaked.

PART II (Summer before OoTP)

"Petunia!" DUmbledore greeted. "I understand you almost threw your nephew out yesterday. Understandable but I must impose on you: the blood wards. Do not attemptt it again-"

"I will!" Petunia interrupted. "Boy has to go! I'm not having him in the house where he can put us all in danger!"

Minerva pursed her lips. This was why Dumbledore had brought her along. She snatched a cigar and lit it.

"Minerva? Why are you doing that?" Dumbledore questioned timidly.

"Because Petunia will keep Harry for three more years unless she wants her house filled with smoke."

Petunia's jaw clamped shut.

"Oh, I'll keep him!" She agreed.

Minerva snapped on a pair of sunglasses.

PART III

"HARRY!" Remus waved brightly. Harry, who was sulking as he watched Vernon and Marge, brightened considerably.

"Hullo, Remus! Er, that's my uncle and his sister over there."

"Really? I think I'd like to meet them!" Harry's eyes widened.

"NO! That's probably not a good idea. That's Umbridge next to them anyway, she hates werewolves."

Remus blinked twice, but nodded.

"BOY!" Marge came over to them. "I-(She saw Remus)-I was wondering if you'd completed your chores today?" Remus looked up in interest.

"Has Dudley?" Harry asked rudely.

"Dudders doesn't get any chores! He isn't an insane criminal like you."

"Oh, very well! That sounds like the right way to treat- AHHH!" Umbridge and Marge were both fully flying. The park, however, was very far from Privet Drive and Harry wouldn't be blamed.

Needless to say, Umbridge and Marge were out of there.

Harry grinned in delight before remembering that Remus had heard what Marge said.

Remus himself was standing in shock, jaw unhinged.

How dare Marge say that?

"You!"" Remus roared suddenly. "You are Harry's uncle? Right well, I'm Harry's godfather and I demand that you treat him right. You'll hear from me, otherwise." BEFORE YOU START RAGING: I know Sirius is Harry's godfather, but let's just say they both are, alright?

Vernon nodded stiffly, taking off after his sister.

"Take care of yourself, Harry." Remus said kindly, walking away in the opposite direction.

"I will." Harry whispered.