It took maybe an hour or two before Dean was even somewhat comfortable tucked in his corner.

Sam was snoring lightly, Cas had not moved a muscle since he got in position – except for closing his eyes – and Dean, with his usual luck, was cold.

He shuffled around for like the tenth time, angrily trying to get into a comfortable and warm enough position. It was dark, nearly pitch black, except every now and then when lightning lit up the world. It was almost surreal how Dean happened to have his eyes open and looking in Castiel's direction when lightning flashed at the exact same time as Cas opened his eyes. Those deep blue irises pierced right into Dean's and made him still his movements, staring back in terror at the feral gaze he was being subjected to.

"Stop making noise", growled Cas. His voice was quiet, as not to wake Sam, but clearly audible.

"I'm just trying to get comfortable", whispered Dean.

"Then get comfortable", muttered Cas.

"It's not that easy."

"Why not?"

Dean rolled his eyes.

"What do you think? My back's against the damn door and I'm freezing."

A moment of silence passed before Cas spoke again.

"You're cold?"

"You're not?"

"No. I suppose my coat is keeping me warm." The sound of shuffling clothes came from across the seat and then Dean was gently covered with a warm, comfortably heavy blanket of a coat that smelled like Cas. "Here."

"Cas, no", said Dean. The permeating smell of Cas all around him and so close made his voice thick for some reason. "You will freeze without it. Take it back."

Dean shoved the coat back across the seat until he accidentally patted Castiel's feet with it.

"I'd rather you stay warm than I", said Cas, and his voice hit that low tone that reverberated in Dean's chest with every heartbeat. Then the coat was laid over Dean's head, as he was still leaning forward on the seat, facing Cas. Dean pulled the coat off and arranged himself more comfortably, his legs in front behind the driver's seat and his back against the backrest, as one would sit in a normal situation that didn't entail trying to fall asleep during a storm. He splayed out the coat on his lap so it covered his knees and upper body before holding up the right side and cocking his head in a 'come here'-gesture before he remembered that Cas couldn't see it.

"C'mere", he said. "We'll share."

Cas shuffled over and tucked himself next to Dean. He didn't say a word. Dean put his arm across Cas' shoulders and Cas leaned into him. They sat like that for minutes, Cas cuddling up to Dean under the trenchcoat and Dean being surprisingly at ease with the whole situation.

Cas snaked one arm slowly across Dean's stomach to anchor itself around his waist.

"Dean?" asked Cas. His voice was extremely quiet now as he didn't have to speak up at all for Dean to hear him.

"Yeah?" Dean's voice wasn't any louder.

"Are you in need of prolonged close physical contact in order to sleep?"

Dean snorted.

"No. Are you?"

"Maybe. But I don't think that's the only reason I enjoy it."

Dean had to remind himself to keep breathing. Cas' thumb caressed his side and he thought he might accidentally crawl out of his own skin from pure ravishment. He swallowed.

"Yeah? So what's the other reason?"

Cas increased the pressure with his thumb for just a second.

"You tell me."

Now he was teasing. Dean swatted him over the head with the hand that was thrown over his shoulders, and then ruffled his hair to make up for it.

"No." His hand slid down – on its own accord and with complete disregard for Dean's nerves – to fondle Cas' ear playfully and then graze his jawline before tucking itself back in under the coat where it fiddled slowly with the front of Cas' suit jacket. "You tell me."

Cas shifted awkwardly. His hand disappeared from Dean's side, his shoulder dug into Dean's ribs and the top of his head bumped Dean's jaws.

"What are you doing?" hissed Dean.

Cas stilled after a second.

"I was sitting on the flashlights. They were digging into my-"

"Alright, alright!" Dean's voice came out almost too loud and he lowered it to a whisper again. "I get it. Better now?"

Cas nuzzled into Dean's jacket.

"Yes."

"You got the flashlights?"

A weight presented itself on top of the coat on Dean's right leg. He dug his left hand – the one not holding on to Cas' jacket – out from under the coat and grabbed a flashlight from Cas' hand.

"Put the other one away", said Dean quietly. Cas did as he said and threw the other flashlight to the opposite end of the backseat.

Dean pulled the coat over his and Castiel's heads so it covered them completely before turning on the flashlight. Thunder roared outside and the rain pattered constantly against the windows, but the sounds were a little bit muffled when you had a coat over your head. A coat that smelled almost as good as its owner looked.

Dean wedged the flashlight in the crevice between the backrest and the seat. White light streamed up and hit their faces from underneath, throwing weird shadows under their eyes and on their cheeks, but not so much that their expressions became unreadable. They were facing each other, legs folded under their bodies, knees touching and heads only inches apart.

It was much warmer under the coat. Dean could practically feel the color come back to his cheeks. Because it was warm, not because Cas' every breath touched his skin and almost made him blush. No, because it was warm. Warm.

Except it was because Cas' every breath touched his skin and almost made him blush.

"So", said Dean. He was somewhat awkwardly trying to figure out what to do with his hands. He ended up folding them in his lap. "You were going to tell me something?"

Cas furrowed his eyebrows – an expression Dean would've laughed at because of how the shadows played across Cas' face, if he hadn't been so nervous – but only for a moment, while he visibly went through their conversation in his head and remembered.

"Right", said Cas slowly. "The other reason."

He sounded like he was trying to drag it out because he didn't know what to say. Dean had to suppress a smile.

"The other reason", Dean repeated, nodding.

Cas wouldn't look at him. He was staring at his own hands, his beautiful hands, folded in his lap just like Dean's.

"I… uh…"

He licked his lips. Fucking tease even when he didn't mean to.

Dean leaned down and bent his head, looking at Cas from underneath and finally catching his gaze. The beam from the flashlight traveled over Dean's head in the perfect angle to hit Cas' eyes. They glittered and gleamed, unrealistically blue, and Dean had been sure he'd never be one to use the word 'enchanting' to describe something, but as with many other things lately, he found himself having to reconsider.

"You what?" Dean sing-songed, raising his eyebrows and smiling because really, what else was there to do when a former celestial wavelength of intent, an ancient and proud being, was sitting under a coat at night with light hitting his face and he was nervous because of you?

"I…" Cas blinked. "… Don't really know, to be honest. I don't know what it is. When I'm near you, I find myself wanting to get closer…" Dean felt his eyes go wide and he sat up straighter. "… And when I'm close it's still not enough. It's not because I want to sleep, it's because I… I don't know. But being with you… it makes me happy."

Dean's chest swelled. Cas rarely used the word 'happy', but he knew very well what it meant. They'd had long discussions about it when he had just become human and was starting to feel human emotions more potently. Dean had described happiness by using examples like good pie, a perfect steak and a soft bed, and Sam had talked about endorphins and mentioned friends and accomplishing a personal goal. Cas had sat quietly and listened. When Sam asked if he could identify the feeling with anything he remembered, he had thought for half a minute before saying 'eating when you're hungry'. Later the same day he had said that seeing Sam and Dean smile made him happy, and then they had started to talk about empathy. Dean hadn't heard Cas use the word 'happy' in such a serious way again until now. Stupid as he was, Dean even had to blink back tears.

"Wow… Cas, I-"

"Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes." Dean looked him in the eyes. "Yes, I do. I feel it, too. I feel the same way."

Dean wanted to slap himself. Listen to this, said the voice in his head, wittle Dean Winchester talking about his feewings.

Shut the fuck up, he bit back. And the voice actually silenced.

"What is it called?" asked Cas.

Dean blinked.

"What?"

"The feeling", said Cas. "Is it happiness, or does it have another name?"

Dean swallowed. Of course it did. It was called being in love. But he couldn't say that, he couldn't possibly say that. And neither could he leave Cas in the dark. It wasn't fair to keep him ignorant just because it was convenient for Dean. Like every human being, Cas had a right to his own feelings and to understanding them the best he could. Dean had no right to keep it from him. But he couldn't say it. He just couldn't. He couldn't.

Except he could.

He opened his mouth and took a quick but deep breath.

"It's called bei-"

"Oh my god, shut the fuck up!"

Dean jumped so high the coat almost flew off him. Sam the giant cockblock had struck again.

"I'm trying to sleep here!"

"Sorry, Sam", said Cas. "We'll be quieter."

Dean peeked out from under the coat and saw Sam changing position. He had his back to Dean and Cas now and it didn't take long before his light snores once again merged with the pattering of the rain as one single mush of background noise. Dean let go of the edge of the coat and turned back to Cas.

"You were saying?" said Cas. His mouth was bent in a small smile and his eyes shone with anticipation. Fuck, he was adorable.

There had to be a way of turning back. Cas was wonderful, he clearly felt the same way, and he was always patient and considerate and could even crack a good joke every now and then, but Dean couldn't be with him, not like that. Not that there would be anything wrong with it – people like who they like and whoever raises a fuss can go shove it up their asses – but he just… couldn't?

He paused briefly and asked himself, why really? Why couldn't he be with Cas like that? He'd like it, Cas would like it, Sam would get to tease them about it – it was a win-win situation for everyone. Why shouldn't they be together?

The more Dean thought about it the more obvious it seemed. When he looked at Cas and Cas looked back, still awaiting a reply, it suddenly struck him how stupid it was to be dancing around it like a nervous flamingo when it was clear that all they needed was for one of them to take a little leap.

"It's called being in love."

It took Cas a second to register what Dean said. Then he frowned.

"What? This is what it feels like? I thought being in love was supposed to be more frustrating and painful."

"You don't think it is?" asked Dean.

"No." Cas shook his head. "It's delightful."

Dean chuckled. Delightful. Who even uses that word?

"Don't you think it is?" asked Cas. Dean shifted awkwardly.

"Not when you're so damn close and beautiful all the time and I can't touch you."

Wait, did he actually just say that?

Cas smiled.

"You can touch me whenever you want, Dean."

Dean tried not to swallow, tried not to shiver but as usual his body failed him.

"That was supposed to be a cue", said Cas, voice low and husky.

Dean didn't let his eyes fall from Cas', but reached out a hand behind his back. Their faces came closer as Dean leaned forward so far that he could have stuck his tongue out and licked Castiel's lips. Not that he thought about that, of course. Not at all.

Ah, what was the point of denying it now? That would have been awesome. But not yet.

Dean's hand landed on Castiel's foot, which stuck out behind him since his legs were tucked in under the rest of his body. Dean found his toes and wiggled his fingers against them and Cas jumped.

"Dean!" he hissed.

Dean snickered.

"What? You said I could touch you."

"You can, but what did you do?"

Dean realized in that moment that Castiel hadn't ever been tickled before. He had never experienced being ticklish. Dean smirked when he thought of different ways to find out where Cas was the most sensitive. He could tie him up, use a feather and-

Feathers. Wings.

It all came streaming into his mind, a strong contrast to the giddy daze – when they first met and Dean stabbed Cas, the times they fought together, the times they'd been hurt, when Cas died and when they found him alive, Sorry, purgatory, when Cas fell, when they found each other yet again, and everything they had done in between and after all of that. A feeling of gratitude washed over Dean – gratitude and affection and an urge to express them. Cas had saved him not only from the fires of perdition, but from a hell inside himself. He would never forget that. He would never take it for granted.

Dean smiled and felt his eyes tear up.

"I tickled you", he said warmly. "We have spots that are ticklish. Varies a bit from person to person. If you touch them lightly, you squirm and laugh. But you can't do it to yourself. You can only do it to other people."

"It was uncomfortable."

"Yeah", said Dean, "but fun."

Cas smiled. He lifted a hand, movements slow, and placed it on Dean's left arm on top of the handprint hidden under the jacket. The two of them smiled at each other in a cheesy chick-flick moment that Dean oddly enough did not mind. Then Cas' hand traveled over Dean's shoulder and up his neck, stopping to gently scratch the hair on the back of his head. Dean closed his eyes and sighed. His hand, in turn, skated up Castiel's chest, a bit annoyed with all the layers of clothing, and up to cup his face. Dean squeezed, maybe a little too hard, and Cas let out a soft laugh.

"I thought you would be bolder."

Dean opened his eyes.

"Bolder?"

"And here I am", Cas smirked, "taking all the first steps. I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm just improvising." He cocked his head a little. "… Well, I do remember the pizza man."

Dean felt something happen inside him, a spark igniting from an undeniable prompt. The paralyzing part of his nervousness fell away and left only the playful acceptance of a challenge. It was a familiar feeling for once, and one he knew how to act on.

He pushed Cas backwards. Cas bent back over his tucked legs – flexible – and lay on his back on the seat. The flashlight was knocked out of its position but still shone in a way that Dean could see Cas' face in a dim light under the trenchcoat.

Dean followed Cas, descending slowly. His brain screamed with warning signals and flashing lights when his lips were inches from Castiel's, but he didn't stop. Cas parted his lips as soon as Dean touched them, welcoming him as far as he wanted. Dean locked their lips together, and seconds later it was as if they'd never done anything else. Dean's kisses were soft and slow. Cas was more forceful and tried to speed it up. Eventually Dean complied and nipped gently at Castiel's bottom lip – so soft and full and he finally got to feel it – before sliding his tongue in. The flashing lights in Dean's head turned to fireworks when Cas responded, eager and willing. He tried to follow when Dean rose up, but Dean pushed him down by the shoulders and met his eyes with a look that was almost accusatory.

"Bolder? Be careful what you wish for."

Castiel stared at him in silence, and Dean was just about to crash down on him and his gorgeous lips again and show him what Dean Winchester was really made of when a thud came from the front seat.

"Goddammit, guys!"

The coat was torn off from them and a sleepy Sam with ruffled hair and tired eyes looked at them with the face of a pissed-off mother.

"It's great", he said, exhaling a puff of air, "that you're finally confessing your feelings for each other, but could you please wait 'til I'm out of earshot?"

Dean was frozen, literally unable to move, and stared at Sam with a look he tried to make into an offended glare, but it came out closer to terrified deer-eyes. Cas didn't seem as upset.

"My apologies, Sam. I suppose we forgot you were there."

"Yeah, yeah." Sam whipped a strand of hair away from his eyes. "Get off each other. C'mon."

"Dean", said Cas. Dean drew his eyes from Sam to Cas, who smiled and squeezed his sides with hands that had at some point scooted up and gripped his waist. "Get off me."

"What? Oh, yeah, right." Dean backed up and sat on his end of the seat. He cleared his throat and tried to straighten up his clothes and fix his hair. Cas sat up too, and Sam handed him the coat. Cas looked from Sam to Dean and back to Sam.

"I think Dean would like you to… forget you ever saw this. Figuratively speaking. I know we can't ask you to actually forget-"

"I won't mention it", said Sam. A grin spread across his face – a disturbingly sinister one. "On one condition. You can't forget it ever happened."

"Why do you care, anyway?" said Dean, who had finally managed to take in some new oxygen. Sam gave him a knowing look. It was slightly patronizing, but Dean wasn't in the mood to point it out.

"Dean", said Sam, "I think I've known longer than you have. Certainly longer than Cas has."

Cas frowned.

"And it's okay, believe me. I'd be leaping with joy if I weren't so tired. Just… just get some sleep. Okay?"

"Okay." Castiel grinned and looked down.

Sam turned back around and lay down again, putting Cas and Dean out of his sight. When a few moments had passed, Cas scooted closer to Dean.

"Lie down", he mumbled.

Dean did as told. Cas followed him down onto the seat. The Impala wasn't a small car, but the seats weren't made for two people to sleep on stretched out next to each other. It was cramped and uncomfortable in a way that made it possible for Dean to identify exactly which of his muscles would be sore tomorrow, but he had never felt so good. Cas whipped the coat around the two of them so only their heads stuck out. Cas was warm, soft and inviting in front of Dean, arms around his torso, pulling their bodies closer together so Dean wouldn't fall off the seat. Cas slid a leg in between Dean's, which resulted in Dean sighing and moving – if possible – even closer, and putting his one free arm around Cas' waist. With Cas' head rested against Dean's chest, they fell asleep within minutes, despite the thunder and rain raging outside.