This chapter is a kind of Interlude, not moving the plot, but revealing some information.

Again – thank You for Your comments! You're the best!

Chapter 11: Lost Timeline – Story of Defiled Hero

"If you put it this way, it means that people, who do what they desire and prioritize their loved ones over society, are villains. And among them you are the top villain, Rin Tohsaka."

"You really want to talk?"

He was leaning against the wall, with his arms crossed, in a pose she knew just too well. But there was no way she could take him for her Archer now, even from the great distance or in complete darkness. Not anymore.

"Yes." Tohsaka brought a bottle of wine and two glasses with her. "You're not as evil as you're trying to act, so you won't make me change my mind."

"Evil?" 'Servant' smiled, visibly amused. "What an unusual word to hear from you. You see, people have strange way of separating good from wrong. Blind force, crushing everyone who does not follow the rules, is called Order and Justice. And we call Evil people, who just want to be happy. What an odd world it is, don't you think?"

Rin tensed a little, not because of his words, powers or strange aura around him. It was not that he was different from Archer, because he's been infected by the Grail's mud or indoctrinated by false priest. Something changed deep inside, like the core of his former existence had been removed and replaced by something strange and primordial. Rin could not tell what it was exactly, but even she reacted to his presence with some kind of inner distress.

"We have no clear definition of Evil," he continued, looking at Rin with these scary, but somehow fascinating red eyes. "It's rather a big bag to which we throw everything that does not fit us. If you put it this way, it means that people, who do what they desire and prioritize their loved ones over society, are villains. And among them you are the top villain, Rin Tohsaka."

"Is it because I wanted to save my family?"

"Exactly. Because you changed their fate. You summoned Archer sooner, to save your loved ones, but you created only dead ends."

"What do you mean?"

'Servant' smiled again and told her everything - the story of every Fuyuki timeline he had already destroyed.

One: Gilgamesh tried to use Sakura as a vessel, but she absorbed the evil hidden within the Grail and went on a rampage, destroying much more than the city.

Two: Rin tried to save Archer but was possessed instead and made Fuyuki her playground.

Three: Rin and Sakura won the Grail War together and their misinterpreted wish changed the world into zombieland.

Four: Ilya won the Grail War but her misunderstanding with Saber reset the history and Fuyuki was sent back to Middle Ages...

Five: Bazett won the War and ended killing every single person on the planet, except Lancer and herself.

Six: The Grail activated emergency system and damaged ley lines of the city by summoning seven new Servants against remaining teams; they violent fights destroyed Fuyuki completely.

Seven: A Ruler class Servant was summoned to force remained teams to fight blackened Archer, who was sniping everyone on sigh.

Eight: Servant Medusa was blackened due to Assassin's manipulation and city was soon turned to ashes by the two.

Nine: Assassin infected all Servants; they blackened soon and ruled together the ruins of Fuyuki.

Every single story was a pure madness for her. And more were coming.

"Stop it, please." Tohsaka rubbed her forehead, dazed. "You really remember everything?"

'Servant' nodded and looked away. He did not want her to pity him.

"Is there any sense, any moral in all these stories?"

That was the question every Tohsaka probably would ask. This family was always trying to find logic, even in the greatest absurd.

"I was trying to find it myself." He shrugged. "To be honest, there seems to be one regularity: things were getting much worse when you abandoned him."

Him, Tohsaka noticed. Not 'me'. They're not the same person. Or maybe he doesn't even recognize himself as a person anymore.

Unexpectedly, his expression softened for a short while.

"This guy pretends to be free, but he is so hopeless and dependent. He devoted himself to you, completely. Do not hurt him. Please."

"I have no intention of hurting him." She blushed, not exactly knowing why. "Why are you so concerned about him?"

'Servant' chuckled dryly and it was not a pleasant sound.

"He's the only one who was saved. Maybe it's temporary, but still… He alone had enough luck to be normal for a while."

Pain in his voice was for Rin to hard to bear.

"So… from which sequence of events you came?" – she asked to break the silence. "What happened?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes." No hesitation in her voice.

"Why?"

"People learn about past to not make the same mistakes again. Isn't this obvious?"

"Maybe…" He glanced at her without particular reason. "You really should sit down."

So she did, on the floor behind him, and opened the bottle. She winked cheerfully, inviting him to sit next to her.

"Come, join me."

Rin Tohsaka… always doing what she wants.

"Why not…" 'Servant' sit and tasted the wine. It was sweet, its aroma reminded him of sunlight and soil. He took a deep breath and started his story.

"So… In the timeline of my origin, Rin Tohsaka never came to the cave under Mount Enzou. Moreover, she did not even intend to do so. She chose to join her sister and this dying boy, supply Rider with mana and continue the War. What? Don't look at me like that, I have no idea what she was thinking back then.

I had my own troubles, when Kotomine forced me to guard the Grail. I have no idea how long it took for the curse to take me over. Few hours? A day? Maybe few days? I think I must have lost my mind for some time, because I was almost ready to beg Kirei to let me go.

I don't really remember how we formed the contract. Everything was dizzy and years had to pass before I understood what exactly had happened in this cave. My Reality Marble changed to wastelands of corrupted mud and something invaded my magic circuits. I was not the same Servant anymore, but I did not know it yet.

Kotomine found a way to use my insanity against me and used his Command Seals in very tricky way. Only by hurting someone I was free from constant pressure and torment. First I've tried to hurt myself and he let me, finding it 'pathetic but amusing'. I went too far one day, so he changed the command. Causing pain to others became the only option for me.

I remember that I asked him once, why he's doing it. Kotomine said, simply and honestly, that he wanted to check something. To check how far he could go, to find the ultimate limit.

After a few, short but intensive, 'taming sessions' I was ready to join the War with my new Master. He was accustomed to the tactics of Assassin class, so he was using me the same way. Killing Masters was just too easy. Ilya died first, Bazett soon after. Their powerful Servants just disappeared, helpless and frustrated. I had some sweet time with Matou Masters - they were already used to the pain, so they could keep me in good condition for some time.

And then, to finally win the Fifth Grail War, I killed the last obstacle of this timeline. Rin Tohsaka. It was an extremely brutal and painful death, worth the culmination of this farce.

Short after that day I started to enjoy the pain in every way. It was not difficult anymore.

Kirei betrayed Gilgamesh and got the Grail for himself. But it was not the end of my pathetic service. I suppose he included me somehow in his horrid wish, because I stayed by his side, to watch and enjoy every twisted plan he put into effect. I felt so numb already, that it was fine for me…

World did not end, but was not a pleasant place anymore. Kotomine proceeded with his experiments and was restless in his search. He destroyed my magic circuits almost completely, changed them to his liking - I cannot visualize any projection except his Black Keys now. He found it very funny and taught me how to use them, how to infect others with mud and disease.

But I have no idea how this stupid timeline ended. I escaped. I wished to be free from him so much, that I sell myself – again – for the most stupid reason possible.

I can only destroy, but World still found me useful. Strange, isn't it?

Unfortunately, World also wanted to experiment on me.

I quickly noticed two things – that I'm not a proper Counter Guardian and that I'm sent only to dead ends, timelines which have to be completely destroyed. I was not even a spirit anymore, anti-heroic or other, not Avenger-like thing, although my existence would not be possible if not this pitiful creature. I became something like… a part of elemental force. Of pure destruction, put into shell of a Guardian to be easy controlled.

I lost my name, but no memories. And, unfortunately, not connection to this world. Kotomine was summoning me, in every possible timeline. I was mostly Assassin class, or Archer, sometimes Berserker happened… and it was crazy, even for me.

My stupid sacrifice was in vain and my pathetic story keeps repeating itself eternally, from end to end. I got used to it, to be honest. All ends of the worlds are the same, after all. Even my internal world became empty like starless sky."

"I think I can fully understand you now." Voice of the girl broke the silence. "When one suffers, it's easy for him to despise life, they say. But you were trying hard. And you did nothing wrong."

They turned around to look at Caren. She was also sitting on the floor, listening to his story. None of them noticed when she came, but it seemed that she heard everything.

"You did nothing wrong," priestess repeated and came closer, just enough to grasp the hand of her 'Servant'. "Right, Miss Tohsaka?"

"Yes," Rin answered, simply and honestly, grabbing his other hand. "It is not your fault. Thank you for sharing this story with me. It helped. A lot."

He sighed, resigned.

"If it has any meaning right now…"

To confirm his words, darkness exploded from Mount Enzou into the night sky, covering the stars and changing the landscape to one he knew best.

It was an image of dying world.