Death, Be My Friend

XI: Esme the Curious

By Miss. Bra

To say that I wasn't happy about the step up in the relationship between Carlisle and I would have been an understatement. For the first time on Christmas day, he had kissed me softly under the mistletoe. It was nothing more than perfect and I pushed away the feeling that perhaps he was feeling it his duty to kiss me, as it was a tradition. Of course, that fear went out the window when suddenly I broke the innocent kiss and created something more, wrapping my arms around his neck.

We had decided that it would be nice to… get together. I don't really know how to say it, to become 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' I guess, though those terms sound wrong. I guess he was courting me… Our relationship was higher in understanding. We were a couple, we were together and we were partners. It all sat very nicely with me.

Sometimes Edward left, I guess it was to give us privacy, though I don't know why, we never did anything except loll around the homestead.

I never did get much intimate time with Carlisle, except on the rare occasion he got to hunt and we walked off afterwards, chatting softly about our lives. We talked about small things really, the things we had missed in our communication. His favourite colour was blue, I didn't have a favourite colour, though red was nice. He didn't really like classical music, but if it made Edward happy, he was willing to put up with it. He liked going to art museums and I had taken painting lessons as a child.

"I cannot paint at all…" He grinned.

"It's not that hard," I replied, "You just need to find something you like. Something nice, with pretty colours."

"I still don't think so," He replied, "I think I'll leave it up to the masters."

Since Christmas Day, I hadn't kissed Carlisle Cullen and frankly, I was too scared to again. I didn't know how to start, let alone how to kiss him the right way again. Besides, he hadn't kissed me again either.

Right now, however, we were in the living room. Carlisle and I were on the lounge and he had one arm strung over my shoulder. I was barely aware of it as I was reading Pride and Prejudice, but I definitely knew it was there. Sometimes, only so softly, his fingers would brush over my shoulder and he would sigh slightly, his eyes never wavering from his text book. Though he never needed to sigh again if he didn't want to, he did, and the sigh he gave me in these moments I could only describe as contented.

Edward…

Edward's eyes flicked up from me from his music notes. He raised his eyebrows to acknowledge me and for me to continue.

I hesitated for a moment. What's he thinking?

Edward smirked and said nothing, going back to the history notes. Sometimes I wished I had a power like Edwards, so I could communicate with him, carry on a second conversation. But, I alas, had no talents. Carlisle had said that not to be a bad thing, as he didn't have any talents either. Or perhaps, I hadn't found mine yet.

I want to kiss him… I almost whined. Edward laughed softly. Sorry, Edward, if I'm making you uncomfortable.

Then, Edward closed his book and got up. "I'm going upstairs, I'll be in my room if you need me," He said. Carlisle looked up from his text book.

"Alright," He replied, "Have a nice night."

With his eyes, Edward did something that I couldn't describe and I didn't know if it was meant for me or Carlisle. But, he left quickly, bounding up the stairs with grace and skill as not to break the brittle wood.

There was a long moment when we got back to the way we were beforehand before I spoke up, shuffling a little bit, closing my book. "Carlisle," I said nervously.

"Yes Esme?" He asked again, his seductive tan eyes flicking up from the jargon of his medical text book. His index finger brushed over my shoulder again.

"What are you reading about?" I asked softly, shuffling over to peer into the pages of the text. "What's it about?"

Carlisle grinned. "It's on the discovery of insulin. Quite interesting, really," He replied. "Though, I can't really wrap my head around it."

"Well… that sounds…" I tried to find the word. When I asked him the question, I knew the text to be far, far out of my capability. I didn't want to seem dumb around him but by the way he was smiling, I'm sure he found the awkwardness amusing. "Nice…"

"It's alright, love," He smiled genuinely; "I can't get that much of it either."

"I'll leave you to it then," I said, slipping away from him. I tried to slide away further, but his arm prevented me from leaving to the side of the lounge. He held me at arms length, two fingers pressed firmly against my shoulder.

"Alright then," He said and I was sure I could tell the slight smile on his face as he looked back down.

It was a good moment, Carlisle had read four pages and I was looking out into the kitchen, my head turned away before I spoke again. "Carlisle?" I asked slowly, casually.

"Mmhm?" He replied with slightly pursed lips, but in no less of a warm manner.

I didn't turn to him as I whispered. "Will you kiss me?"

I heard him laugh softly as he leant over and expectation caught in my throat like a breath I so didn't need. Inch by inch, Carlisle leaned closer until his arm reached across and his fingers caught my chin. Slowly, he turned my head and pressed his lips against mine innocently.

"I didn't know if I was allowed," Carlisle murmured against my lips.

"Oh," I replied eagerly, taking Carlisle's cheeks in my hands, kissing him back when he broke the first. "I've been waiting for a repeat of Christmas Day."

I don't know how long we sat there like that, just kissing. My hands were against his cheek and his hand never left my chin, tilting my head up to meet his lips again. Tasting him was like pure heaven, something I had never dreamt I would feel in my life. It made me want to go further, but at the same time, made me not want to end the perfect bliss we were now sharing.

"Don't feel like you have to ask, next time," I murmured. I felt the short exhale of breath as his slick lips turned up into a smile.

"I'll remember that," He whispered, kissing me softly. "How about you and I step out of the house for a while, give Edward some sanity."

"That sounds perfect," I grinned.

Carlisle took my hands and led me out the back door. It was a crisp Wednesday night and the moon was high in the sky. I wasn't going to describe Carlisle as an angel; he was something much more than that. He took off his coat and hung it on the wooden chair we kept on the back porch. I guessed it was something he did out of habit.

The forest was a little cold, though it never bothered me. I could barely feel the cold through my thick skin. Carlisle was up the front and we were leisurely wandering through the forest. What we were really doing, I didn't know. We weren't hunting- Edward, Carlisle and I had gone yesterday so there was no need. I convinced myself that it was just Carlisle and I, going for a walk like leisurely couples did and bounded up to catch his hand with mine. I received a kiss across the lips and Carlisle grinned.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that for," He said, pulling away, grinning slightly.

"Tell me," I replied, "Tell me how long you've wanted to kiss me for." I grinned as I saw a sudden wild glimmer in his eyes. I was sure he had wanted to do it for a long time.

"Since you were sixteen," he admitted and then, of this I wasn't certain, I heard a low, animalistic growl rumble through his throat. "But that would have been unethical and we hardly knew each other. Tell me now," He grinned as he looked down at me, "how long you've wanted to kiss me for."

If I could blush, I would have resembled a beetroot. "Since…" I sighed- there was no use hiding the truth now-, "You walked into the hospital room when I was sixteen…"

Carlisle chuckled softly and brought my hand up to his mouth to kiss the back of my palm. "I see," He said, obviously amused. And then, the perfect man that was my Carlisle sighed. "I have to go to work soon…" He looked over to the sun that was coming up over the horizon, casting filtered morning light on the pine trees surrounding us.

"Let's play a game," I suggested enthusiastically, letting go of Carlisle's hand and jumping to the top of the nearest tree.

He cocked one eyebrow seductively. "And what game may that be?"

"20 Questions," I replied, looking up as Carlisle bounded and balanced himself on the branch I was propped up on.

"Can I go first?" He grinned.

"Whoever can't answer has to do a dare by the other person," I replied, "just to spice it up a little."

Carlisle grinned brightly. "Alright, this should be fun." He put his finger to his chin in contemplation. "First question: what's your favourite song?"

I grinned. He was starting off easy. "Girls of My Dreams by John Steel, that was easy. You're not thinking too hard," I teased and Carlisle made a face of mock hurt. "My turn, why are you a doctor?"

Carlisle settled himself on the branch, coming to slip in around me, his strong arms creeping around my waist. He chuckled in my ear. "So I get to talk to all the pretty nurses," He teased, his lips brushing against the skin of my cheek.

"That's not a very nice motive," I replied. "Though, I personally think it is the other way around. The nurses became nurses to talk to you. Tell me the truth."

"Think of all the clichéd reasons," Carlisle replied, the amusement in his voice dropping, "and that's the reason I am a doctor. Also, I would rather save people than kill people; it helps me live with myself." Suddenly, I felt him smile against me. "You have to tell me the truth now and you have to answer the question, because the punishment is a lot worse than the question…"

"Alright," I squeaked an agreement.

"Did you…" He paused, "dream about me? After you were discharged from the hospital, not even once?"

I hung my head, the embarrassment of having countless human dreams of him a little too much for me to bear. "Once or twice…" I admitted ashamedly. He grinned.

"Well dear," He said, "I'm sure there's nothing wrong with that, I'm sure that if I could sleep that I would have dreamt about you too."

I wasn't going to tell him exactly how much I had dreamt of him, or exactly what the dreams entailed. No, not in a million years would I tell him that. I dreamt of him almost every night in my human life, even as I slept next to my 'husband'. I tried to picture life as what could have been, with him, than what it was with Charles. I wanted to picture a world where I would be in bliss everyday, instead of carrying bruises and scars. I was brought back to Earth as Carlisle's lips pressed against my neck and he whispered: "Your go."

I needed to think of a hard one, something he would be embarrassed to reveal, but would be forced to. It needed to be a good one. "What was your first reaction upon seeing me, when I was sixteen?"

Exactly as I wanted, Carlisle was hesitant in saying his reply. "I… I think I have to get to work now," He murmured.

"You have to tell me first," I shot up, not losing the chance cowardice that Carlisle was feeling.

"No, actually I don't want to," He replied simply. "I'll take whatever punishment you decide to give me. I think the bigger punishment will be you not knowing."

I crossed my arms over my chest, "Fine," I spat at him, unhappy. "You have to tell Edward you love him, every time you see him for the next day. And he can't have known what happened. You have to think of something that will make him squeam too."

Carlisle laughed. "I think that is more punishment for Edward than anything."

I was sad to see Carlisle go off to work again for another 12 hour shift. Not being able to sleep I guess had its advantage, but it was long. Carlisle always had long shifts. At least Edward was usually always home to keep me company.

Edward was at the piano as I turned from saying goodbye to Carlisle. He was playing his favourite melody quickly, skillfully with the keys. I moved over to the piano, leaning on it softly, being careful not to chip the glossy paint.

"Hello Esme," Edward said softly, his eyes downcast to his piano notes. "What are you up to?"

"I'm afraid I'm a little bored…" I admitted.

Edward smiled. "Well," He said to me softly, his tan eyes flicking up for the shortest of seconds. "That's understandable. Carlisle has finally gone back to work. You can actually talk to someone else now!"

"Oh I'm sorry Edward," I said softly, running my hands over his mop of bronze hair. "How long has it been since we've had a conversation?"

"Almost a week, Esme," Edward replied levelly.

"Oh, I'm sorry…" I replied sadly, coming to sit next to him on his piano chair. Edward shuffled across slightly to let me in. I played with the keys absentmindedly as he played, ruining his melodies and making him a little irritated.

"Isn't there something else you could be doing, Esme?" He said eventually through gripped teeth. "Go upstairs or something and stop annoying me?"

I smiled as I trudged off upstairs. Our home was beautiful, I had to admit, though Edward and Carlisle probably chose it more for somewhere to live rather than the old European architecture that it was made up with. I knew the layout well. I knew what lurked in the wardrobes of Edward's room (unfortunately) and the dust bunnies that had been thriving under the lounge in the lounge room. Yes, I knew this lovely home from the inside out, but when I found the hole to the attic, I was pleasantly surprised.

"Edward," I called.

"What?" He answered levelly.

"What's all this stuff doing up in the attic?" I asked him, pulling out a dust ridden old bed stand from mountains of boxes. The furniture was mostly all broken; some had chipped paint while others were just in need of tender-loving-care.

"It's all Carlisle's stuff that he's never gotten around to throwing out," Edward said, coming up the stairs to join me. He looked up at me in the attic and grinned. "You'll make a mess of yourself up there, Esme."

"Why would he want to throw all this stuff out?" I asked Edward, throwing down the old bed head. He caught it and tossed it to the side. "It's all really nice."

"Because I wrecked half the stuff up there when I was a newborn," Edward said.

"It only needs a little bit of fixing though," I muttered, holding up an old armchair where the only thing wrong with it that I could see was a massive tear across the crimson upholstery.

"Yes, well, Carlisle never had time for that. He was always looking after me or working. He said it was best just to throw them out, though he put them up in the attic when we moved here."

"They don't need throwing out," I said, climbing down from the dusty, stale attic. "This chair just needs a little bit of stitching done to it and it's as good as new. I don't know why he would have wanted to throw it out; it's a lovely old thing."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Esme," He said, "Do whatever you want as long as you don't come and ruin my playing again." And with that, he walked off back to his beloved piano and started to play again.

I took the chair out into the lounge room and grabbed a sewing set Carlisle had secretly went out and bought me when I had complained about the house having tattered, old, dusty curtains. Edward, who never really took a second glance to them, had complained about having a woman in the house. Carlisle said I could do what I wanted with the furniture as long as I didn't go all out and change everything around on him, because that would make him utterly confused.

I took to finding the rest of the stuffing in the attic, finding small pieces of foam and pushing it back into the upholstery before finding crimson thread and carefully stitching it back up. The old chair matched perfectly with Edward's piano, so I placed it there, watching him as he played.

"Have you checked the old shed?" He asked slowly. "The last owners left heaps of stuff out there. We should clean it out, but I never found the time beforehand."

As I stepped outside, I wondered why Edward had never found the time to do anything around the house, as he had spent everyday home with me. I was sure he didn't work previously to my 'creation' so I was at loss for why he had never done all these things. Was it because he had to interact with humans? I was sure Edward could be among humans without Carlisle being there, unlike me, who needed him by my side incase anything did get out of control. I hadn't been into town since that fateful day when I had almost blown everything out of proportion and killed my first human.

The shed was as stale as the attic and as I rummaged through the drawers, I found something that I wanted, that burnt my nostrils as I stumbled upon it.

"I think it needs a nice coat of varnish, don't you?" I asked Edward, stepping into the house again with the tin of vile smelling liquid. He screwed up his nose instantly.

"Oh, Esme," He spat, "Get that disgusting thing out of the house. It smells horrid."

I rolled my eyes at his childishness as I moved back out onto the back verandah and propped the old chair between my legs. First, I sanded all of the old varnish off, which only took a few minutes because of my new found strength. I made sure that I didn't apply too much pressure and that the lovely thing snapped. I buffed the timber then started to apply the rich varnish.

Edward was out the front of the house when I finished, glaring daggers at me. "Esme, we'll never be able to get the stink out of the house."

"Oh hush Edward," I scowled him, cleaning my hands in the sink.

"Carlisle won't like it," He warned.

"He won't tell me off," Esme replied. "I'll put the blame on you for not entertaining me."

Edward didn't speak again because he knew I was right. "Besides," I said, "It's a very pretty piece. I'm going to put it right next to the fire."

"I hope it burns."

Carlisle was home from work at six and smelt a little funny. He didn't see us for long and dashed upstairs to have a bath.

"That's because he had found a bit where he hadn't washed," Edward said as Carlisle disappeared. You didn't have to be a genius to know what Edward had meant. Carlisle had forgotten to wash a bit of blood off.

"Were you put off?" I asked softly. "Did you want it?"

Edward sighed levelly though he didn't need to. "I was… a little," He admitted. "That's why he went quickly."

"How long have you been like this?" I asked softly.

"Five years."

"And have you ever…?" I didn't want to say, but I wanted to know. Had Edward ever killed someone? Had he ever snapped a person's neck and drank until he was full?

"No," He replied quickly. "I haven't. But I have wanted to… a lot. And I think about it…"

"Oh."

"Sorry Esme," He said. "If I'm not the man you thought I was. I'm obviously not to Carlisle."

"Oh don't say that Edward!" I cried from the lounge that we were sitting on.

We both didn't speak for a moment- we could hear Carlisle coming down the stairs. He smelt fresh as he came up behind me and pressed his lips to my cheek. "Hello love," He said in my ear. I didn't think I would have to ever force anything for Carlisle- that everything would come naturally to him, that I would laugh and giggle naturally for him for the rest of my existence- but that night, I forced a smile on my face, my eyes staying locked on Edward. My dead heart aching.

And I've thought about it, and oh, how much I would like to do it. Sometimes I think about how I would do it, or what they would look like, how they would taste when I bit them. How they would stop struggling and screaming as they started to succumb and then how they fell limp in my arms as they died. Oh, how I've thought about it.

Disclaimer- Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyer

We broke 100 reviews! Yay! I was so happy! Thanks everyone who reviewed, these include:

Seriouslysirius: I'm glad my story was such an enjoyment for you to read and that your critical comments were down to a minimum. It pleases me to know that my characters are believable, and I did like adding humor to Edward. I agree- too many Cullen stories are over dramatic.

AC: As I hope you have read all of the chapters, I hope that I've already answered all your questions. I do adore Edward's bratty humour, because, basically, Edward is no fun in the book. Obviously he's going to get a little bit darker as the story goes on. Yes, there is a time jump that I have not so specifically put in there, I hinted it slightly, though maybe I could have done a little bit better with it. At this point in time, Esme is 3 months old. Thanks for your reviews. :D

Anon: Sometimes there are those annoying things that are words, but not the words that you want- ie. Typos- and they really annoy me when I go back to read already published work. Thanks for your review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Elise Shaw: Lol, it's alright, I don't expect you to remember. It's just that a few reviewers have pointed out things that are wrong and I have said, alright, that's enough, get your butt in gear and go and change it. It was such a dramatic change so I had to notify people of that. Thanks for your review. :D

Motherduckatschool: Wait no more. :)

Sandradee: I hope I've fixed all the plot holes in it, tell me if you find anything else that it wrong with the plotline. Thanks for your review and I hope you liked this chapter.

Mautho: No, it's got a long while to go yet. Thanks for your review.

': Brilliant, lol, that's a nice work, thanks. The love bite thing was really cute, I did like that. Thanks, hope you enjoyed this chapter. :)

Carlisle's favorite patient: Yes, they did kiss, and I do enjoy writing kisses so expect more. I hope you liked this chapter (this one had kisses too!) and thanks for your review!

lia-finn: Awesome, traveling, NY must be really nice. I've done some traveling around Australia, but frankly I'm bored with it lol. No, I assumed you would like the kiss. :). I can't wait to introduce Rosalie either. It's not coming for a little while, though, there's still ground to cover. Hope you liked this chapter.

XXSkittlesXX: Thank you, I have read a few Jasper and Alice stories too, though Carlisle and Esme is my favourite couple. There will be a little Jasper and Alice in here as they are introduced, but not all that much. I'm glad you like my story so much though and hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Moumou38: Lol. FINALLY! More like, you yelled it out and punched the air- don't lie. :P. Hope you liked this chapter MouMou38, for some reason I have a feeling you will.

Esmerelda-kaulitz-cullen: I don't know what happens next (actually I do, lol). Fluffy Carlisle and Esme bits for a while, so if you're a fluff bunny, you'll like it. Thanks for your review.

Somebody-saveme-: I love deep romance scenes too. Thanks for your review. Hope you like this chapter.

CarlisleEsmeFan: No, I'm afraid he won't just yet. He's a little bit too proper and shy for that kind of thing, even if it is totally instinctual. Thanks for your review.

Leucothea29: Yes, I would say it was a little cloudy. Thanks for you long review. I do like them so. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for letting me know what you think. Love muchly.

bella cullen: Thanks, I've went over and fixed all the plot holes, so it flows a little better than before. I hope you like this chapter. Thanks for your review.

SingingBird812: Thank you very much.

braceface freak: Vampire love bites, I mean, come on, how could I not go there? Thanks.

skiracer: Thanks for your review, lol. Hope you like this chapter.

The Meeg: did you go 'awww' a lot, did you? It was a rather cute chapter, wasn't it? I liked it a lot.

motherduckatschool: Thanks for your support. I'm glad you like it and in the end, they have to get together lol. I mean, it's a CarlislexEsme fic!

.Cullen: Thanks, I'm glad my writing skills portrayed the tension that means they are doing their job! Lol. Thanks for your review and I hoped you liked this chapter!

fallenangel315: Hot? Wow, I wasn't expecting that. Reading it, I must admit, it did get a little steamy. Oh well, no-one is complaining. Thanks for your review, hope you liked this chapter.

FlyingToastersUnite: Yes, Edward is quite a child, lol. He's rather bratty, but I think it adds to his personality.

A.N. Chapter 10 has been revised and reviewed and has been re-written, so I would appreciate it if you haven't already checked it out, to do so.

Please Review, I do so love them.

Thanks.