A/N:
Hello everybody! I'm back with a huge chapter, but also an angsty one! If you don't feel comfortable reading it, please DM me so I can send you a synopsis. :)
I wrote until deep into the night, so give me some credit :p
I'm by no means a doctor or anything close to having a medical degree, so all the information used in this chapter and the next few ones are inspired by the info I found on the internet. Just use your fictional imagination ;)
Please read end A/N for posting news!
Have fun reading, and please leave a review with your thoughts! X
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, I'm just playing with the beautiful things Stephenie Meyer created.
This chapter is unbeta'ed. I hope there are no mistakes, but of course I'm only human (merelyhuman lol.) so I can't assure you there aren't any. I apologize beforehand for any unintentional mistakes, but I tried my very best.
Sorry for the long-ass A/N.
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Previously on Stay:
"Be careful, okay? I don't want you to get hurt," Edward said.
"Oh and now you do care if I get hurt?" I played. "You're able to play the piano to 'Say Something' too so I guess it wouldn't be that bad if I broke my arm," I added.
"Just terribly inconvenient," Edward said and smiled before waving at me. I took it as a sign to push off and pushing off I did.
I went down the hill, where I felt gravel hit the underside of the board. I was going fast; too fast in my opinion but the feeling was terrific. I saw the left side of the road come closer so I tried to move the board to the middle, which worked surprisingly well. I smiled at my achievement and ducked a little, wanting to feel more of the cold air rushing past me like the trees and bushes did.
But then I looked in front of me and saw the tall trees coming closer and closer. I realized that I needed the board to move drastically to either my right or left side and I needed to slow down. I stood straight again, but I kept going downhill fast. Everywhere I looked I saw trees and the wood became dangerously dark. I debated jumping off the board, but I didn't want to ruin Edward's board so I didn't.
I heard someone yell my name loudly before my head hit the trunk of a tree. I was thrown off the board and heard something crack before everything went black.
Chapter 10
EPOV
Bella winked at me which made my heart swell. I knew she was terrified of going down that hill, but she still wanted to do it; for me. Because I said she could do it. Because I said I was going to find a new girlfriend when she didn't. Because I said that I wanted a thrill-seeker as a girlfriend. Because I pushed her do it. It is all my fault.
I saw how Bella pushed herself off the hill without even a second thought. I saw how she struggled with changing the course of the board; so it wouldn't crash into the side of the road. I saw how, when she changed the course effectively, got more confident and gained speed. And then I saw how she lost control because she couldn't slow down.
I was already running when I saw her crashing into the trees. I heard someone yell her name several times; which I was curious about whom it had come from. I was running down the hill; I tripped over my own feet and began tumbling down it until I came to a stop against a bigger rock. After I had gotten up, loud stomping noises where clear above the sound of thunder in the distance. I heard my feet slapping against the asphalt, trying to get closer to the tree line. Wanting to get closer.
But when I was, I wish I wasn't. The sight I was met with made me cup my hands around my mouth, tears filling my eyes. Her back was bent at and awkward angle, her head only around 5 inches separated from her hips. The board was lying on top of her legs, hiding it from view but I could see blood seeping out from underneath it. Her beanie had aerated off so her hair was now lying around her as a halo. But a halo with a lot of twigs and leaves in it. Blood was pooling out of her mouth and the ear I could see, and her eyes were still the brown I knew and was familiar with but they were surrounded by redness, as if a vain had exploded inside them. I was afraid of getting closer and injuring her further so I didn't know if she was still breathing.
I patted my pockets for my phone, not sure if I had even brought it. Luckily, I found it in my right pocket and immediately dragged my trembling finger across the lit screen to open it. I struggled with the passcode as my shaking fingers couldn't push the right digit.
"Come on, come on," I chanted. A drop of liquid fell on my screen, just after I had managed to open it. I didn't want to check whether it was a tear or a raindrop, I just wanted help for Bella here as soon as possible. I know I could've just used the emergency call option on my phone, but my mind had shut off too much for me to be able to come up with time management solutions. When I had finally pressed in the right digits to call for an ambulance I knew I was crying; sobbing even. I tried to get my breathing under control, wanting to be clear to the person picking up the phone.
Relief entered me when someone picked up straightaway.
"911, what is your emergency?"
"There's so much blood. . . I just can't. . . Please come and help her!"
So much for trying to be clear to the woman who's trying to help me.
"Sir, what's your current location?" Sir? Seriously?
"Her eyes . . . they're red and the blood . . . it's coming out of her mouth! Help her!"
"Sir, please hold, we're busy determining your location, I need you to remain calm and stay with the victim. Are you injured in any way?"
"J – Just some scrapes, my arm hurts but it doesn't matter. She's. . ." I looked down at my torn coat, pants and bleeding arm before turning my attention back to my main priority; Bella.
"Now, are you able to tell if her breathing is regular?"
"I – I don't know." What? Did she want me to check her breathing? What if I'd hurt her?
"We've determined your location. There's an ambulance on its way, I need you to remain calm. You're doing great. Now, listen to her breathing. Is it regular?"
"Hurry please!"
"We'll be there as soon as we can. In the meantime, I need you to check her breathing."
I pushed some branches away and got reluctantly on my knees and tried to get as close as possible without touching her. I leaned my head several inches above her ribcage, listening carefully.
"It – It's slow, like very slow. She's not gonna die right? She can't die!"
"Sir, I need you to remain calm. We'll try everything we can. Can you hear the sirens?"
"N – No." I pointed my ears into the air as if I were an animal. At least, it felt that way.
It was as if everything had quieted down; there were no birds chirping or trees rustling through the wind; nothing. It was as if something had died and had taken all the life with it. But then I did hear the loud screeching noise of sirens. Multiple; may I add.
"YES YES YES, I DO!"
"Stay with her until the ambulance has arrived, they'll help you both from there."
"Now, what's your name?"
"I – It's Edward." I hated that I was stuttering so much.
"That's a nice name. What's your friend's name?"
"It's Bella. A – Are they c-close yet?" I could hear the sirens coming closer, but I was getting anxious; I wanted them here with Bella immediately.
"They'll be there any minute now. Can you tell me what happened to Bella?"
"W – We were going downhill and – They're here!" I saw an ambulance race around the corner on top of the hill and drive down to where Bella and I were. I was swaying my arms in the air, still on my knees next to my Bella. My beautiful Bella. I leaned in and kissed her cheek softly – barely touching – which felt cold and nothing like Bella.
"Oh God, they're running towards me." Two men were running towards us with either a large bag in their hands.
"I'm going to go and let you off the line so you can go talk to them." The lady gave me one more reply.
"Ok, alright." I pressed 'End' immediately and stood to meet the ambulance personnel.
In the distance I saw another ambulance come closer, which I didn't know if it was a good or bad thing. One of the two men immediately began to work on my Bella while the other began to talk to me and ask me questions.
"Son, are you alright?" The man asked. I reckoned he was about 45 and he had pale skin with black hair and bags underneath his eyes; an unhealthy looking combination.
"I'm fine, focus on Bella please!" I was making gestures with my arms.
"So her name is Bella?" the guy asked, pointing his ballpoint pen in the direction of where Bella was lying on the uneven ground.
"Y – Yes, Isabella Marie Swan is her full name." I looked at my shoes, seeing how scraped they were. One of the noses was almost completely gone, my sock peeking through a hole there.
"Daughter of Renée and Charlie Swan?" The man looked at me incredulously, as if that meant he'd have to do his job any better.
I just nodded and turned around to look at the three men working on Bella. In the meantime, the two medics that had come in the other ambulance had arrived and were now working together with the first man.
I saw one of them, a middle-aged balding guy, holding up a transparent sack of liquid. Another guy was holding a breathing mask over my Bella's beautiful face, sitting close to her head.
"We will contact them. I'm David and I need you to answer a few more questions. I'm very sorry for that but we need the information right now." The guy actually did manage to look sorry.
I nodded and faced him again.
"First of all, what happened?" I then began to explain how we were longboarding and how Bella went down the hill and lost control and crashed into the trees.
The man flinched a few times and I heard him mumble an incoherent 'auch' several times, as if it was just a fictional character that had tumbled down that hill.
"What's her date of birth?" The guy kept on scribbling things down on his tiny notebook in an awful script.
"September 13, 1997," I was finally able to think rationally again and answer properly to the questions asked.
"Okay, last but not least, I need some information about you. I need your name and birthdate, and then we'll get you home or to the hospital, whichever you prefer," the man explained. I stood taller than him, beating him by at least 3 inches and it made me feel good.
"Of course I want to go to the hospital! I'm her boyfriend for Christ's sake!" How could I want to go boarding with her, practically pushing her off that hill and now that she was injured I'd just go home and say 'Adiós amigo'? Didn't think so.
"My name is Edward Anthony Cullen and I was born on June 20th, 1997," I said agitatedly, hoping to get it over and done with soon.
When I turned around I saw the three medics stabilizing Bella's neck into an orange thing that had straps around her forehead and across her chin. Her eyes were now closed and an oxygen mask was placed across her mouth.
Shouldn't they put her on her side so that she won't choke on her own blood?
All sorts of scenarios were crossing my mind, and I had a hard time believing that those guys knew what they were doing. Luckily when she'd get at the hospital, she'd have a large chance at getting treated by my dad because he was pretty much the only good surgeon and doctor at our small ass hospital.
"Hey, I'm Anne and I'll help you, okay?" the lady I hadn't noticed before grabbed my upper arm in her tiny hand and softly dragged me across to one of the ambulances. I hadn't seen the woman before, and I think she was prepping one of the ambulances for Bella or something. The woman looked kind, a soft look spread across her face and her dark brown hair pulled up into a pony tail. She looked around 40 and was tiny – I guess only 5'3" – but did have quite some body fat. I'd never understand how doctors could be such obese people; they're supposed to tell people not to get fat, but they do it themselves anyways. As if saying; but I'm allowed to since I've studied the consequences.
I shook my head to clear it from the stray thoughts and found the men strapping Bella onto the stretcher, golden foil wrapped around her.
But her back was bent at such a weird angle, what if it's broken and now that they've put it straight she's paralyzed? Or worse, if she had a broken neck but it remained in its normal space, and now that they've moved her she's dead?
She can't be dead. She can't die.
I felt tears drizzling down my cheeks and I hastily wiped them away. I followed Anne to one of the ambulances and she took me to the back, wrapping a blanket around me.
They had better washed this before they gave it to me.
"Are you her brother?" Anne asked politely, giving me a cup of water to drink.
I shook my head. "No, I'm her boyfriend," it hurt to say it after all I did to get her in this situation, but unless she confirmed it was over, it wasn't.
"I'm sorry," she said.
"Why sorry? She isn't goddamn dead," I got angry, living in a routine of denial. I knew her chances were only slight; I had seen her situation with my own eyes but yet I didn't dare to acknowledge the fact that I might never see her full of life again.
"Of course not," her voice said reassuringly. "I just feel bad for you to have to deal with this all," she added, opening the blanket on my left side.
"I'm going to have to treat your left side, but the guys are done with Bella so we're going to transfer her to the hospital first. I reckon you'd rather sit with her than getting sterilizer in your wounds, am I correct?" I nodded, not caring about the sterilizer part, but wanting to be with Bella immediately.
"I'm going to the other ambulance, you can stay here. Two other guys will come here with Bella to make the short drive to the hospital. There someone will treat you, who likely won't be me since I have to be available for other emergencies," she said, explaining everything to me like a three-year-old. But I appreciated it anyway.
"Stay strong, boy," she said before walking away and getting into the driver's side of the other vehicle.
I emptied the plastic cup of water by swallowing it in a few gulps and threw it in a little bin underneath the chair I was sitting on. Well, chair for all intents and purposes.
Fucking hell, I thought she said they'd bring her here immediately? It's been over half a minute already! What if something's wrong? What if she went into cardiac arrest and she's now dead? O my God!
But at that moment the two guys came in and put the stretcher in before closing the doors. The vehicle immediately took off with loud sirens and screeching tires.
Bella's face was white, whiter than usual, and her veins were visible through the skin on her neck.
"May I?" I asked, motioning for Bella's hand.
"Sure, kid. If you sit here," he didn't finish his sentence for which I was glad. I didn't want to know all the things he had to check; all the things that could go wrong.
We switched places and soon Bella's cold hand was enveloped by my warm ones. I held it between both my own, as if it was a life wire keeping me alive but just slightly. I rested my forehead on our joined hands and I felt more tears start to dwell in my eyes. I tried to blink them away, but failed.
The driver sure made certain to arrive at the hospital as soon as possible, because I was thrown over the entire place in the back of that ambulance. I didn't care though, all I wanted was to be close to Bella and I knew I couldn't once we arrived. I realized there was a chance I'd never see her breathing again after she entered those doors and went into surgery, so I enjoyed the feeling of having her albeit cold hand enclosed in mine, knowing she was still alive.
One of the two guys asked me about my side while I was still practically lying on top of Bella's hand, but I just ignored him. To be honest, I hadn't even given it a second thought. Bella was worse off than me; I could walk – she wasn't even conscious so why care about some scrapes I had?
We arrived at the hospital only minutes later. Three nurses, a surgeon I was familiar with but didn't know by name and my dad where there. When they opened the door I kissed Bella's hand for the last time before I practically jumped into my dad's arms which I knew was very unmanly but I just needed the comfort right now. Dad patted my back and I cried on his shoulder. He then took me by the shoulders and looked me in the eye.
"I already called your mom and Bree, who are on their way here now. I'm sorry I can't be here for you know, but I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure Bella will become the carefree and happy girl she always was, okay? I'll ask Clare to treat your wounds. She's a great nurse, don't worry." He then patted my cheek and followed the other medics into the building.
A woman, I assumed was Clare, told me to follow her and made me take a seat in a sterile room. I could smell it. I had always hated the smell of hospitals and I'd had my fair share of them thanks to having Bella as my best friend.
The woman introduced herself as Clare before cutting of my sleeve and began working on the wounds on my arm.
"Will you please tell someone to send my mom and cousin in here when they arrive?" My lower lip was trembling, I didn't want it to, it did it all on its own.
"Of course." And with that she left the room. Not much later she returned with my mom in tow.
"Mom!" I breathed and I practically attacked the tiny woman. How I ended up being so tall – 6'4" – I'd never understand. Mom was only 5'3", just like Anne, and Dad was 6'2".
I held my mom close to me, crying into her hair.
"Shh, baby. Everything will be okay," she tried to reassure me.
"But will it, mom? What if it won't?" I rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands and I felt my eyelashes stick together because of the salt in my tears.
"Baby, she will. She's got so many reasons to fight for, she won't give up easily." Mom grabbed me by the elbows and made me look her in the eye.
"Mom, you didn't see her. She was . . There was blood everywhere and her back was bent at a weird angle and her eyes, mom, you didn't see her eyes but they were so bloodshot it almost looked as if the veins had exploded and they were open, her eyes," I took a deep breath and choked on a sob. "And the board, it was on top of her legs but I saw blood coming out from underneath it so I know there must be something wrong with her legs also and her neck, mom, her neck it was just –" My mom interrupted me then by cupping my face in her hands and I was thankful that she did because I could barely breathe.
Where is that goddamn nurse anyway?
"Sit down, honey. And breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth." She pushed me onto the bed that was standing in the middle of the room, the black ones with paper lying on top of them. Yeah.
I slowly came down from my high and held my head in my hands, not knowing how to continue everything. If she died, I'd be dead too. Maybe not physically, but mentally.
I was at a better level for my mom now, she was able to wrap her arm around my shoulders and push my face into her neck.
"She's a strong girl, Edward. She won't give up easily," she repeated her earlier words.
"Now I'm going to get that nurse because your wounds look horrible," she said and with that she left the room.
I took the time to look at my arm and side, and what I found there indeed didn't look nice. The gravel that had been occupying the road had impregnated my clothes and at some places my skin, which made it a dark red. I could even see some dirt and I knew it was going to be a bitch to get out. But I didn't want to whine, because I knew the things going on behind the doors where Bella was lying were way worse than getting some filth out of my wounds.
Mom returned with some fresh clothes and the nurse. "You can cut those up, Clare. I got some fresh clothes for Edward here. Do you want me to stay or should I go?"
"Where's Bree?" I questioned to answer a question with a question.
"In the waiting room," Esme answered, looking everywhere but at him.
"Go sit with her then." I turned away from his mother and laid down on my right side on the makeshift bed. Clare grabbed a pair of scissors and began to cut my shirt and jeans open so she could reach the other flesh wounds.
I rested my head on the hard 'bed', closing my eyes. A few tears escaped through my closed eyes and made their way down my nose and onto the white paper.
Once in a while I'd feel the painful sting of the disinfectant the nurse used.
My mind was with Bella at all times; thinking about what she must be feeling right now, if she felt anything at all. And what her parents and not to mention Emmett were thinking right now. Would they blame me? Would they hate me?
After over an hour of prodding and jabbing into my wounds – without any anesthesia – I was allowed to put on my fresh clothes. When I'd been lying there, a doctor had come in to stitch up some of the greater wounds and after that the nurse had put on several surgical dressings to prevent the wounds from infecting, I was free to go. To the waiting room, that is.
Luckily, mom had brought me a slightly oversized hoodie with some loose jeans; as if she'd somehow known I was injured and sensitive at the leg, side and arm. I was still wearing my damaged shoes, the sock still sticking out.
Clare gave me instructions on how to change the dressings – as if my dad wouldn't know.
I mean, he might be doing surgery right now but I'm sure he has no idea as to how to change some tape and huge Band-Aids. Nah ah. Note the sarcasm.
But I thanked her anyways and she gave me a prescription to pick up at the pharmacy. It was an ointment I had to spread on my wounds very thinly every night.
Hmm, sure.
When I walked into the waiting room, my head was down; I was yawing and scratching my head. I was exhausted. But there was no way in hell I was going to sleep unless I knew Bella was alright and on her way to recovery.
My mom wrapped her arms around my waist to give me a hug – careful for my wounds –, but I didn't really feel like returning it right now for some reason. But then Bree shocked the hell out of me by hugging me tight too; her arms wrapped around my waist next to my mom's. Bree wasn't that much taller than my mom, so it was more of a 'child-hugs-grownups-leg' hug than anything else but I appreciated that she didn't seem to flinch away from me. I kissed my mom's head and chose to kiss Bree's as well although I had no idea how she would react to the gesture.
She hugged me closer, which I wasn't expecting. And it might've hurt a little too, but I'd be the last to admit that.
My mom retreated first, before Bree loosened her grip around me. She went to walk away before she'd even glanced at me so I took her elbow in my hand so she turned around and gave her a sad smile; a smile of appreciation. I didn't realize it, but I really needed her support right now.
My mom had seated herself on the uncomfortable hospital chairs again, just like Bree had. I went to sit down too. Mom grabbed herself a magazine with a picture of a pineapple on the cover and offered me an Entertainment Weekly. I just shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose between my fingers, hating the feel of the tape and stitches pulling on my side.
And then the waiting began. It was interrupted after about five minutes when the Swan family, with an additional Hale, came rushing into the waiting room.
"Where is she?" Emmett asked, walking at the front of the family as a spokesperson. Renée had her arms around Charlie's waist, sobbing into his shirt. I didn't think she was able to form a coherent sentence, not even if she tried really hard.
Right now, I was numb. I didn't feel anything. The union that had just joined us was a whole another matter, they were devastated, sad and most of all; worried.
My mom answered when she realized I wouldn't. I was looking at the vending machine standing opposite me. From where I was seated I could see the overpriced bags of chips that contained mostly air and the triangle-shaped sandwiches with yesterday's cheese. Even if I'd had an appetite – it was long gone of course – I would have lost it after seeing this machine.
"She's in surgery. Carlisle is currently busy working on her." I could hear her swallow at the end of her sentence, as if now that the words were said it had become more real.
Renée began to cry theatrically; at least it sounded like that. I was sure the pain was very real, and I could've cried like that hadn't I lost my feeling of existence.
Charlie hushed her as Rose clung to Emmett, silent tears streaming down her face.
See, you can also silently cry. I think I might've mastered the activity as well. Also crying without tears, since they ran out a while ago.
My hands were in the front pocket of my hoodie, playing with a loose thread on the inside of it.
"What happened?" Emmett asked after wiping his eye with the hand he wasn't using to rub Rose's back.
As I kept my eyes on the vending machine, I explained. "We were longboarding and we went down the hill. She lost control and ended up crashing into the trees," I said emotionlessly.
Charlie went to sit down with Renée, who I'm sure hadn't even heard the story.
Emmett stayed where he was; standing diagonally from me, Rose supporting him to stand upright.
"You what? You just let her go down?! You know how clumsy she is! Or was, if you managed to kill her! If she's dead, it's all on you!" He managed to get that far into his seemingly endless rant before Rose patted his chest to calm him down. Charlie was telling him to shut up too, but in a rougher manner by simply telling him to 'shut his hole'.
But the hurt had already been done. I knew I was guilty; I had pushed her to go off that hill and that if I hadn't told her the things I did, she probably wouldn't be in that bed, fighting for her life right now. But it still hurt to hear the words from someone else.
"Emmett, there's no reason to make such accusations. You have no idea if she might've pushed Edward to let her go because she wanted to. Let's get all the facts before we judge," Esme the full-time peacekeeper tried to clarify.
I didn't feel like speaking up, not to defend myself like my mom had done for me, nor to confirm Emmett's statement.
"Let's just all sit down and hope everything will be okay. I don't know if you're religious, but you could always pray," no one less than Bree decided to speak up and enlighten us with her peacekeeping. Esme 2.0.
Surprisingly, Emmett and Rose did just that and took a seat next to Emmett's parents, clearing from my view. I didn't even dare call them Bella's parents anymore. Pussy.
I wondered why it had taken them so long to get here, but I now remembered that Bella's parents' jobs were both situated in Port Angeles, which was an hour drive when you floored it. Also, I recalled Bella telling me that Rose and Emmett went shopping for some talent show appropriate clothes for tomorrow night, which I assume no one would go to now.
Bella had been worried for breaking her arm by falling from the board, but no one could've prepared either of us for what actually happened. In a matter of minutes, my girl, my love, my heart, crashed my entire life into those trees, and her life was hanging by a thread right now.
Please Bella, don't do this, I can't live without you.
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A/N:
That was a heavy chapter, but it was necessary for this story. I hope it lived up to your expectations. Please leave a review to enlighten me of your opinions/experiences.
Btw, next week and the week after are my finals of this school year (yayy) so I won't be able to update for a while. Sorry for the inconvenience. I won't abandon this story, so don't worry. It might take a while for a new chapter but I will post ;)
X ~Nathalie