Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious.

A/N: So sorry for the delay, guys. It's been exactly 2 months since this was updated, can you believe it? -_- Again, sorry. But Jade's got some problems.

Enjoy.

Chapter 11

I wake up to my cellphone ringing, to realize that I fell asleep on the couch last night while watching some stupid show that seemed to go on for hours. Cat had left sometime after we watched a zombie movie we rented, clinging onto me as though the zombies were going to eat her or something. I honestly don't know why she's so afraid of things like that, or why she chooses movies she knows she's afraid of.

Then again Vega does the same thing.

I groan and roll onto my stomach, burying my face into the velvety cushion of the couch. Why do I have to think about her so early in the morning? It's not even dawn yet and she's already driving me insane. I sigh. It's Monday, and now Vega and the rest of Hollywood Arts is going to be waiting to see me, to ask me a million questions about what the hell I was thinking, and I just don't know how I'm going to give any of them an answer. Hell, I don't even know if Tori is going to want to speak to me.

I'm debating whether or not to even go to school, when my phone rings again. What's so important that it couldn't wait until morning? Reaching through the darkness, I find my phone on the floor next to the couch and pick it up, squinting against the bright light of the screen. After a few rings of trying to determine who it is through blurred vision, I groan and push the talk button. "If this isn't a medical emergency, I'm going to cut off your fingers, knuckle-by-knuckle, very slowly and painfully…"

"Well, aren't you a pleasant mess in the morning?" And I roll my eyes at the voice, not wanting to hear my father. He never talks to me and the one time he does in so long, it's at four o'clock in the morning over a phone call.

"What do you want?" I snap, wanting to go back to sleep as soon as I possibly can.

"Did you forget what you were supposed to do this morning?" I narrow my eyes, as if it's written on the ceiling. I can't think of anything, involving him that I was supposed to have done today. But then again, my mind has been preoccupied with thoughts of one very beautiful Latina girl, so any other thoughts would have probably been washed away and forgotten temporarily. Or, where my father is concerned, forgotten. "You were supposed to come in to the office this morning."

Oh, right. I was supposed to be his little puppet. "I'm not going. I have school in four hours." I hang up and shake my head. I guess my decision's been made for me.

Rolling over, I try to fall back asleep, but it seems impossible now. My mind is on overdrive, thoughts of Tori haunting me, no matter how much I try to push them away. It's as though she's everywhere, a plague that I don't have an objection to having. I have got to be insane.

Giving up all attempts to sleep, I sigh and sit up, glancing around the darkened room. There's really nothing else to do, since the TV is infomercial central now, and Cat and Vega would both be sleeping, so there's no one to talk to either. I roll my eyes. Why did he have to choose now to talk to me? I could still be asleep, not ready to gouge my eyes out of pure boredom. Kicking my legs over the side of the couch, I stand and stretch, loosening my cramped muscles. I think I was too comfortable, I conclude as my limbs pop.

Dragging myself upstairs to my bathroom, I turn the knobs in the shower and discard my clothes on the floor, climbing in. The warm water is incredibly soothing, and I'm prepared to fall asleep right here and now…until my brain wakes up again. I suppose drowning in the shower wouldn't be a good thing anyway, not when I'm sort of looking forward to seeing Vega today. I have to have something to look forward to in this mess I've caused, right?

The more I think about my stupidity and the post on the Slap, the more I hate myself for putting Vega through this. Seriously, what was I thinking? And what I did to Beck…it wasn't exactly the best way to tell him, let alone break up with him, but it happened. And I don't know if he's ever going to forgive me for it, but right now, that's too much to ask for. I have to deal with the consequences of my actions.

And I know that I deserve them. But the way he's acting, he's being a child about the entire thing. He's pulling this stupid war game, 'Who's siding against who?', and it's getting old. Eventually, he'll realize that it isn't a joke, whether Vega and I are together or we're not.

I turn off the shower knobs and get out, drying off. I don't even care about privacy right now, since it's too early in the morning and I'm home alone, as I find something to wear, pulling on random clothes from my closet. I've only passed an hour in my thoughts. Maybe Cat's awake now. Searching for my cellphone, I remember that I left it downstairs by the couch and descend the stairs to the living room.

My father tried to call thirty more times since I hung up on him and I delete my call history, blindly dialing Cat. Surprisingly, or unsurprisingly I guess, she answers on the second ring, more awake than I am. "Hey, Jade! You're awake early. What happened?" And suddenly I'm not even sure I should have called her. "Jade, I can hear you breathing. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, Cat. I just can't sleep." She remains silent, waiting for me to continue. "My father called and woke me up. I haven't been able to fall asleep again."

"Oh…do you want me to come over and keep you company?" I'm tempted to accept her offer, but I seriously do think I need to be alone. Talking with her on the phone is enough to keep my thoughts at bay. "You're quiet, Jade. Really, is everything alright?"

"Yeah, no, Cat. I'm fine, I promise. I don't know why I called. I'm sorry if I woke you. See you at school." I hang up and sigh. What the hell is wrong with me? I feel like I'm in a maze and that no matter which direction I choose, it will be wrong. And I hate to feel like this, but I can't describe it any other way. I just can't win.

I lean back against the arm of the couch and stare up at the ceiling. Why does everything have to be so complicated? This isn't a movie; if I get the girl, it won't be easy. We won't just ride off in the sunset and kiss in the rain or however the story ends. This isn't like that. And as much as I hate to admit it, I'm looking at the twisted ending where I won't even get the girl. It doesn't help that Beck is hurting everyone involved by acting the way he is, but I don't think that's going to change anytime soon.

So what is there left to do?

The only thing I can do is pretend that I'm fine, that I'm not thinking about this as much as I really am, that I don't want Tori as much as that stupid post on the Slap said…But then I would be lying. And as great as I am at lying and pretending I don't care, it's just not going to work now. Everyone knows what happened; everyone read what happened.

Nothing's going to change that or make it better. I'm going to have to fix everything myself, at the cost of everything I'm trying to hold onto.

I dwell on my thoughts until my cellphone rings its alarm and grab my keys. But when I go outside and close the front door behind me, I see Beck in the driveway, waiting for me. And he looks incredibly pissed off, but I suppose I'm used to it now. "What are you doing here?" I demand, ready for the argument I know he's going to set off. I'm tired of fighting with him, of defending myself and Vega.

"You have one last chance, Jade. Say that this is a joke. Tell everyone that you're kidding so that we can just get on with our lives and act like it never happened."

I stare at him in shock. He really just wants to forget this and move on? "No, Beck. I'm going to tell you one last time. This is not a joke. I'm not kidding. So we're not going to move on and get over it or whatever you want us to do."

"Come on, Jade. We're supposed to be the perfect couple…"

I furiously shake my head. "No. We broke up and we're never going to get back together because you're an asshole. I don't want you anymore. How hard is it for you to understand? I don't want you!" I watch as he slammed his fist on the hood of his truck and releases a string of expletives that I'll save you the trouble of reading. Shooting one final glare in my direction, he gets in his truck and peels out of my driveway, squealing tires loud against the quiet morning.

I told you he was an asshole…

Getting in my car, I start it and back out of my driveway, ignoring the dirty looks from my cranky neighbors as I drive to school. This morning has already started out wonderful. I wonder how the rest of the day is going to turn out.