Possessiveness

Koga could not shed a guilty feeling that had lodged somewhere in the vicinity of his chest. Rin was so young, so indescribably vulnerable, and he felt very much as if he was taking advantage of someone totally defenceless.

Kagome had been around the same age when he had first met her, but he could not fairly use that for comparison. He had been different then – harsh and ruthless, desperate to keep his tribe alive, and lacking the psychological maturity and compassion that had grown in him after experiencing the slaughter of his pack mates by Kagura, the suffering he and his friends had endured as they pursued Naraku, and the appreciation of all that Kikyo had done to try and save them despite her own plans and pain, and at the cost of her life.

Then there was what Kagome had been like – young she may have been, but she was open-tempered, spunky, empowered by having a very short fuse, and imbued with a clever resourcefulness that Koga discovered, some years after Naraku's destruction, hailed from a distant future time. While he had pursued her largely because she was beautiful and kind-hearted, he had to admit that the courtship had begun because of his greed for the jewel shards she could detect, and to a certain extent had continued because he didn't want to back down in front of that puppy Inuyasha. When Kagome had returned and chosen Inuyasha as her mate, Koga had been genuinely happy for them, and relieved that he could back off honourably, for good.

Rin might be as kind and pretty as Kagome, with hair as unfettered, but they were otherwise unalike. Rin's outward talkativeness and cheerfulness (at least when among her own friends) belied a modest, quiet nature that was remarkably sweet-tempered despite the loss, agony and deaths she had suffered in her short lifetime. She was quietly confident in the love and affection of her circle of adopted relatives and close companions, but she had no shield of brash self-assurance to fend off hurt and doubt.

Koga wasn't entirely certain that he wasn't adding to her troubles. What was he, a slightly-worse-for-wear three-hundred-year-old demon doing, kissing an utterly vulnerable fifteen-year-old human girl who was so afraid of his kind that she had jumped into a ravine last winter rather than let him approach her? Dear gods, she was practically an infant by demon standards. And what if she did accept him? What could he offer her? A dusty cave to live in, and the company of wolves.

But he had felt drawn to her from the first moment he laid eyes on her in the forest, and her mouth had tasted ever so sweet yesterday – he had been sorely tempted to go further but she had pulled away after the kiss and clearly wasn't ready for more. Her scent was calling him even now where he had left her in a meadow with Ginta and Hakkaku while he had been back at the caves dealing with pack business.

Sesshomaru was in the next field, apparently meditating, but almost certainly keeping a sharp nose and pair of ears trained on what was going on with his adopted daughter and what he probably considered "that pair of scruffy wolves" in the adjoining meadow. Koga could hear them talking – Ginta was telling his old jokes again about Koga's scraps with Inuyasha and a variety of other demons, most of which stories were fortunately new to Rin, and the girl was laughing at his tales, which was a good sound to hear. Except that it was also such a young sound, and Koga was starting to think that surely he was much too old for her.

Until he came round the hill behind which the meadow was situated, and saw that in his enthusiasm to illustrate a certain scene in his anecdotes – probably one involving Kagome and the puppy – Ginta had picked Rin up in his arms and was swinging her around. She was a little flushed with embarrassment and was giggling, but she was fine, and Ginta meant no harm… but Koga found himself instantly, instinctively bristling.

He growled a low, rumbling, possessive growl that only his friends' demon ears would pick up, and Ginta immediately put Rin back on her feet and stepped respectfully away from her, realising that he should never have touched the woman his tribe leader had made clear he wanted to claim as his own.

And just like that, Koga realised that his demon instincts were already perceiving her as his female, despite his guilt about her tender years. He had not felt this way about Kagome because he had known quite well that he was the one encroaching on the puppy's turf back then, but this was a different set of circumstances. This girl was his.

...

"What do you mean Sesshomaru can't refuse him?" Shippo demanded of Inuyasha as he questioned the half-demon and Kagome about what his friends had overheard in the field.

"Shippo-chan," Kagome said gently. "It's not that Sesshomaru can't refuse, and it's not like Koga is demanding Rin as his mate. It's just that Sesshomaru shouldn't refuse to listen to Koga's request to get to know Rin better, after he saved her life. They're just considering each other as possible mates – it's not a done deal."

"But Yuji said that Sesshomaru said that Rin could accept Koga if he made advances to her – and don't think I don't know what that means – I haven't hung around Miroku all these years without picking up some stuff, you know!" Shippo exclaimed. "Surely Sesshomaru wouldn't let Rin actually have sex with Koga!"

Kagome badly wanted to clamp a hand over the mouth of the little fox kit to stop him from saying such things that were so very incongruous with his age. Yet, she acknowledged that while he was a small child in demon terms, the equivalent of a human five-year-old, he had in fact been on this earth for some seventy years now – a good deal longer than she herself had – and been exposed to much more, even if he had not known until quite recently how to process most of the adult information his eyes, ears and nose had received.

Well, he was certainly processing it now, the miko thought. And processing it pretty well too.

"The demon world is quite different from the human world, Shippo," Inuyasha said impatiently. "You're a full demon – you should know that – or at least you will have to know it once you're old enough. Sesshomaru's simply being practical. If Rin's going to mate that scruffy ookami, she can't be holding human standards the whole way – there's got to be some compromise."

"But she's terrified of wolves!" Shippo protested.

"Shippo, just because Sesshomaru gave his permission for Rin to go as far as she wants, it does not mean that she will actually go that far," Kagome told him. "You should know what Rin is like. And we do hope Koga will help ease her phobia of wolves. It's not good for her psychological health to be so terribly afraid of one type of animal or demon. She shivers every time wolves are mentioned, and I can sense the fear paralysing her mind and spirit. Some time spent with his wolf friends could help her a great deal."

"I don't like it," Shippo muttered. "It's just all wrong, somehow."

"You think that only because you've had a soft spot for Rin for ages," Inuyasha muttered.

"I did, but we had a talk about that," the little kitsune said soberly. "I know I won't grow up in time for her, so we decided that she would be a big sister to me – but I'd hoped she would marry Kohaku! I used to be jealous of his closeness to Rin, but I'm not any more, and I think he's right for her! That doesn't feel wrong!"

"Kohaku's had his chance, and he didn't take it," Kagome sighed. "Rin can't wait around for him forever. Humans don't live that long."

"Well I know a human someone who could have had her chances with others, but decided to wait around for what could have ended up being forever to come back to a certain other someone," Inuyasha said to his mate and wife. "Fortunately it only took three years."

"That certain other someone was worth the wait," Kagome smiled back at him. "And that certain other someone has someone else willing to wait around forever for him, who'll come right back to his side once I die. Fortunately that someone else promises to have a very long demon life, so I hope he doesn't mind waiting."

"Stop that," Inuyasha said. "You're not going to die any time soon. I won't allow it."

"We don't control these things, Inuyasha."

Shippo listened with a mixture of sadness for the brevity of the lives of his human friends, and nausea provoked by the couple's sappy exchange. Torn between blinking away tears and sticking a finger down his throat, he decided that it was best to just walk away and sulk alone about Rin's possible future with a badly attired ookami youkai who lived in a miserable collection of grubby caves.

But on his way back to Kaede's hut, he met Kohaku. The sight of the demon-slayer set him off again, and he stopped long enough to mutter to the young man: "You should have married Rin when you had the chance – now Sesshomaru's going to mate her to Koga, and we'll hardly ever see her once that happens! It's not like he's going to move his whole tribe to the village, you know!"

He stomped off on his tiny feet after that, leaving Kohaku stunned.

...

Kohaku had pondered Shippo's words for a full day and night. He realised that he had not the slightest right to interfere in any plans for Rin's future, but he knew he had to at least try to express to her how his feelings for her had… no, not exactly changed, but rather, risen into his conscious heart and mind after being buried for so long.

If he didn't even try, he would lose her without a fight, and that would be hard to forgive himself for. If he tried and failed, then at least he would know she had chosen what she considered a better option than himself. But if she felt that she didn't even have an option, that wouldn't be fair to her.

What could he do, though? What should he do?

After much thought which led him nowhere, the image of Rin poring over her poems and calligraphy came to him, and on a sudden impulse, he asked Miroku for some writing paper, a brush and some ink.

It would be the most pathetic thing ever, but he would do what he could.

...

Having been under Sesshomaru's protection for almost half her life now, Rin knew exactly what the definition of "imposing" was. The taiyoukai was the embodiment of that term, with his height, deep voice, cold countenance, eyes that could look right through you if he was about to either ignore or kill you, and his immense power. Beside him, no one else looked or felt half as impressive. Even when that face and those eyes softened as he spoke to the ones he cared for, like Inuyasha and herself, he could still be very intimidating.

So it said something for Koga's state of mind that the word "imposing" sprang into Rin's thoughts when he came to the meadow where she was listening to Ginta and Hakkaku's stories about their old battles and adventures. He positively radiated authority and power, and she could feel his youki flare just before Ginta hastily set her down. He wasn't really angry, of course, but he was clearly staking a claim to a female, and Rin was the female in question.

Kagome had told her that in her time, it was wrong for anyone to consider someone else as belonging to them, and that slavery was outlawed in almost all parts of the world. Between married couples and among families in that future era, it was increasingly becoming unacceptable in many societies for wives to be regarded as "belonging" to their husbands, and it was even frowned upon for young children to be considered the possessions of their parents.

Rin did not quite understand that, for in her world, it was widely accepted among humans that the male head of a household owned his wife, concubines and children, except when the wife was the daughter of a far more powerful man than her husband, in which case the father often exerted his authority, and the husband might end up living in his in-laws' home. But even that boiled down to the head of a household having power over his offspring's fate, and ultimately, it was the strongest and most influential males who had the final say in what happened to their wives, sisters and children, and their own mothers, once the latter were widowed.

In the demon world, although relations between the sexes were more egalitarian because female youkai could be as strong as or even stronger than the males, courtship was also much more instinctive and akin to animal mating, and fertile females were perceived as a valuable commodity. In the past, few demons had considered humans viable mates, as not many humans were spiritually powerful enough to bear young that would be strong successors to their demon parents. But clearly, half-demon individuals like Inuyasha, Jinenji and that girl Shiori that Rin's friends had told her about could be very strong and capable indeed, and with humans far outnumbering every other intelligent being on earth, perceptions were changing among demons about what made an acceptable mate.

Koga was one step ahead of those that were still being convinced about that, as he had previously wooed one human female, albeit without success, and was now considering another.

Considering her very closely indeed, Rin thought, as Koga leaned towards her once Ginta and Hakkaku had taken their leave and left them alone. His youki enveloped her, and she became very aware of his physical proximity. Even if he had been a human male, he would have been a strong one, with his muscular physique and limbs built for speed and strength. Adding his demon powers to the package made him an intimidating proposition for an opponent – or the object of his interest. Inuyasha might laugh at him and dismissively call him "wolf boy", but he was no boy, and Rin was no mighty hanyou who could afford to brush him off as insignificant.

"He shouldn't have touched you," Koga said, moving his face so close to her shoulder that she could tell he was sniffing her neck.

"He meant no harm," Rin replied evenly, instinctively knowing that she should soothe his animal nature, which was dominant at the moment.

"I know, but still, it was unwise of him. If I had been any other demon, one who knew and trusted him less, there would have been a nasty fight."

"But you know and trust your pack brothers well, so there will be no nasty fight," Rin said, rather more emphatically than she wanted to.

That seemed to bring his reasonable mind back into play, for he made a light chuckling sound beside her left ear, and seemed to relax as he agreed with her, saying: "No, there will be no fighting. Ginta's a very decent pack brother, and I would trust him with my life. I just didn't like seeing you in another male's arms."

She felt his breath against her ear now, and then his lips nibbling the lobe gently, and somewhere in the back of her mind came the thought: I wonder if I still taste like food to him...

The thought frightened her a little, and she began to shrink from his tongue which was tracing the curves of her ear, but he didn't let her pull away this time, wrapping his arms around her and seeking her mouth with his own. She wasn't sure that she really wanted to kiss him at this moment, not when the idea of herself as wolf food was fresh in her mind, but she had let him kiss her yesterday, and her fifteen-year-old personality lacked the confidence to assure herself that it was all right not to do something with someone even if she had done it before. That nascent idea flew out of her head as the sense of his masculinity at such close quarters began to overwhelm her, and she yielded to the kiss, finally gasping and trying to push him away only when he moved down to her neck, and she felt his fangs against her throat.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, but please stop," she whispered shakily.

He drew back at once, though she could see that he didn't want to, and he kept his hands on her upper arms as he said gently: "Don't be afraid of me, Rin. I won't hurt you."

"Please don't be angry with me – I'm not trying to play games or be difficult. I just... I just thought..."

"What did you think?"

She decided to be honest, looking directly into his eyes as she confessed: "I thought of you thinking of me as food."

He stared at her in silence for a moment, then he laughed out loud.

She frowned at that, and remarked: "It's not funny."

"I'm sorry," he apologised, doing his best to stop chuckling. "I know it shouldn't be funny, considering your experiences and my responsibility for what happened, but somehow it is amusing."

Rin glared at him, and he simply gazed back at her until at last he drew a tiny smile from her.

In a softer voice, he said to her: "I am sorry that so very much of what I want to do to you will involve getting my lips and tongue and mouth all over you – but I swear that I have no intention of eating you, nor will I permit anyone else to."

It seemed she would never be able to bring her habit of blushing under control, for she could feel her cheeks burning again at his words, and she tried to hide her face and her embarrassment by mumbling: "First it was your wolves, then that hound from the underworld swallowed me too – I don't know what it is about me and creatures trying to eat me."

"What it is about you is that you're absoutely delectable," Koga murmured, nibbling her ear again. "You're not quite as bite-sized as you were back then, but you're still very, very tasty."

She could help it no more, and giggled. Again, such a very alluring but undeniably young sound.

It gave Koga pause. He moved away from her ear and gave her a peck on the lips before drawing back, thinking once again that she was a mere child in his power, and he was far too old for her. Just then, like a sign, the cream-coloured figure of Kirara appeared in the air over the next field, and Koga said to Rin: "That's the fire-neko from your village. She probably bears a message for you. You'd better go back to your father now. I'll see you later."

She nodded and kissed him on the cheek once, then turned and moved quickly across the meadow at a trot, leaving him to go about his day's work and check on how many deer and rabbits the pack had brought back as kill.

She reached the spot in the next field where Sesshomaru, Jaken and Ah-Un were, and saw that Kirara had come alone, carrying in her mouth a tiny cloth bundle on which was pinned a scrap of paper with her name on it. Sesshomaru took the item from Kirara, glanced at it, and handed it to Rin.

"Thank you, Kirara," Rin said, stroking the cat and receiving a purr and a quick nuzzling in return.

Jaken gave the feline demon a fish he had caught earlier to thank her for making the journey out here, then she was off, flying over the treetops and hills and vanishing from sight.

Rin sat down on the grass and untied the cloth, to find a sheet of writing paper inside, folded neatly and carefully bound with a long tendril, with wild flowers tucked between the tendril and the paper. Curious now, she slipped the paper out carefully without damaging the flowers, and unfolded the sheet.

"What is it, Rin?" Jaken asked.

"It's Kohaku's writing," she replied, in a voice that bore a hint of wonder. "It's a... a poem."

"Oh?" Jaken said, and might have said more, had a subtle glare from Sesshomaru not made him sidle away quietly so that Rin could read in peace, and in private.

Kohaku, who knew nothing of poetry, and had no love for reading or writing, had paintakingly crafted a few lines, which Rin's disbelieving eyes now scanned.

Will the clouds that flew from here ever return, and will I know them if they do?
They have left me rooted to the earth, bereft of what I thought I would never lose.

The writing was unsophisticated, and the poetry poor, not unexpected from one completely untrained in such things. But the words were sincere and the lines original – he had certainly not copied them from anywhere – and Rin could see the effort that had gone into them. Her eyes began to fill with tears as she thought about how much she would have given to have had such lines from him only a year ago, and how much things had changed since then.

Or had they really changed? Was she not still moved by what he had written? Indeed, she was, but she honestly didn't know if she was crying because her heart believed he was too late, or because it believed he was just in time.