Papa

A blue-eyed child is hiding fearfully inside his room. Where else can he go, what else can he do? His heart is broken, his father gone. And now he has no one to catch him when the oh so cruel world lets him fall. Years ago these sewers were a home to five mutants, because they were the only ones of their kind. More came into their lives, but that doesn't mean that the pain of losing a member of their family hurts any less. And no matter what Sensei said, they weren't ready.

He sobs. He isn't ready to be a father yet, he's not even an adult yet. And still he has led his brothers through hell and back. They saved the planet over and over again and put themselves on the line for the greater good. They looked death straight in the eyes and walked away. Because they are focussed, strong, smart and unpredictable. And they were well-trained by their ninja master. So when they went into battle as a quintet for one last time, they never figured it would be their father who would pay the ultimate price for humanity's safety. Not their father.

It wasn't the first time they thought they lost their father. He remembers this pain from before. But that pain never had the chance to fester. It has been two weeks, and only now is it setting in that Splinter has past. And that he isn't going to come back. They burried him, he's underneath layers and layers of dirt, decomposing. How Leonardo hates to think about that. He wanted to cremate their father instead, but wouldn't have known how. They can't walk into a cremation centre and expect a funeral to be held for their father. They probably would have to build a pyre and burn him out in the woods, but Leonardo didn't want that either. It would probably scar his brothers for life, to see their father burn like that.

So they burried him instead. It was a simple afair, a quiet gathering of their closest friends. Afterwards Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello and Michelangelo stayed for many hours more, to watch their father's soul leave his body to join his wife in the afterlife. There was nothing more they could do. No more words to be said. They didn't need to tell their father that they loved him, that he would be missed. And no one needed to share stories. They had all been there.

What they needed was to hear their father one more time. To hear his advise in a steady, comforting voice, accompanied by a warm smile. Ever since they went topside, hugs have been rare, safe from an occasional group hug. They are teenagers after all. But right now, they could all use one. Even Raphael wouldn't refuse. But they can never have one ever again. They are orphans now.

"Leo?"

He doesn't hide his tears. They have all cried numerous times these last two weeks. They aren't ashamed anymore. Leonardo doesn't want to cry in front of his brothers though. They can know that he breaks down occasionally, but never will Leonardo allow them to comfort him. He's the eldest. And he's going to be the strongest. Even though he knows he will probably fail eventually, because he always does.

"What is it Raph?"

His voice is rough and he wonders how long he has been in here. Time used to be so tangible to him, such a solid concept. Now it is slipping through his fingers.

"We wanted to- well Mikey wants to know if you'll watch a movie with us?"

Michelangelo, always Michelangelo. Because they all know that, right now, no one will refuse the youngest of the brotherhood. Not because he is suffering any more than they are, but because they are glad that they have this one purpose left. They can still take care of their youngest by giving into his small requests.

Raphael needs space to himself, to get rid of his anger, or to talk to Chompy. But because of that he shuts his brothers out. Donatello works on himself, by working on his brothers. He supports them through their mourning by reading all he can on the internet. He is their unofficial psychologist. But who is going to take care of the doctor himself?

Automatically it makes Michelangelo the easiest to help. He craves his brothers' presence and company. He is the one who orders take-out just to get the family around the table. And now he is the one to instigate a movie night. And even though Leonardo wants to stay in his room, and hide from reality, he knows that he, Raphael and Donatello need this just as much as Michelangelo does.

"I'll be out in a minute. Can you ask Mikey to make me some licorice tea?"

In another life, Raphael would've sneered that his older brother could do it himself if he wanted it so bad. In another life Raphael wouldn't have been standing so timidly at the doorway, like he is moments from opening a box full of cockroaches. It wouldn't even have been Raphael barging into his room, but Michelangelo himself.

"Sure."

And Raphael is gone again.

The blue eyed child steels himself, and gets ready to face his brothers. Because inside the safe confines of his room, he can be a child. But out there, he is going to have to be a father, a sensei and a leader. A father to Michelangelo, who is still a child at his essence. A sensei to Donatello, who, as a scientist, needs to stay in touch with his inner self and his emotions. A leader to Raphael, who has grown just as much as Leonardo has, maybe even more, but needs someone to guide him down the right path.

And Leonardo? What about him? He needs the support he used to get from his father. The advise, the lectures, the compliments. The love. Without his father's gentle hand, Leonardo isn't sure he can even continue to be the leader of his team, let alone be the head of his family. But he sure as hell is going to give it his best shot.

He opens his door and light streams in. The blue eyed child ties his mask around his eyes, squares his shoulders, and smiles a gentle, fatherly smile.

"Alright Mikey, which movie do you want to watch?"

Well this is sad. Oops. Anyway, hope you guys liked it. Tell me what you think :)