Authors Note: I believe that there was a problem with FFnet's alert emails yesterday and I just wanted to let everyone know that if you haven't yet read chapter 10, please do as this chapter will make no damn sense if you haven't. If you have read it, read on.
Also, big thanks to everyone who has been following this story. You are all awesome!
Rick extended his hand and pulled him to his feet. Daryl's mind was swimming with possibilities. What could possibly be wrong with her? What if it was something easy to fix? What if it was something just as bad as cancer? What if this didn't matter at all, if no matter what she had there was no hope of fixing it? How was he going to explain this to her? He could see that Rick was starting to reach for the door knob and he quickly stepped in front of it. "Rick, we can't just go in there and tell her that she doesn't have cancer. What if it doesn't change anything? You saw her. She ain't real stable right now and I'm not about to go in there and give her hope if there ain't none. I ain't watching her shut herself down like that again. You don't wanna know what it took to break her out of that."
Rick reached out and put his hand on Daryl's arm. "Daryl, we don't know that there isn't any hope until we find out what's really wrong with her. But to do that, you are going to have to let us in that room. I promise we won't say a single word about it not being cancer. We'll just ask her if Eric can take a look at her, maybe find a way to help with her pain. I don't want to see her like that again either. I've never seen her look so empty, not even with Sophia."
Eric spoke up. "Who's Sophia? I didn't meet her yet, did I?"
Daryl could feel his chest tighten at the mention of the little girl. "Sophia was Carol's daughter. We lost her , she got chased off by some biters. We spent weeks looking for her, but she'd been bit. Carol didn't take it very well. She kind of shut down for a while afterwards, but she snapped out of it pretty quick. She was worried about me actually. That's the kind of woman she is. She never thinks of herself first, she's been running herself ragged tryin' to take care of everyone, even after she got sick. She hasn't even been eating, not much anyway. She's always pushing her food onto someone else's plate, sayin they need it more than she does." Daryl could see the wheels turning in Eric's head as he absorbed this information.
"I'm sorry to hear about your daughter." he said after a moment, and Daryl stopped to correct him.
"Sophia wasn't my daughter. Carol was married before all this shit happened. To a real piece of shit that used to beat her black and blue. He got bit a long time back. Son of a bitch deserved it too. She's told me some things about him that made my skin crawl."
"Daryl, thank you for telling me that. Just from what you've told me, I'm starting to get a few suspicions about her condition. But I really need to examine her and ask her for some more details. Can we please go in and see her now?"
Daryl knew that there was no other way to do this. He slowly nodded and reached for the door, entering to find Carol curled up under the blanket, snoring softly. He motioned to the men behind him, telling them to go stand by the desk until he woke her up. He didn't want to startle her. They obliged and moved to the other side of the room as he kneeled down next to her and reached out to gently stroke her cheek. "Carol, wake up. Come on baby, open your eyes."
Her eyes flickered open at the sound of his voice. "I knew you'd come back." she said softly, gazing up at him sleepily. "Come lay down with me please, I just want to sleep in your arms."
He wanted nothing more than to do as she asked, send the men from the room and curl up with her, holding her close while they both slept away the exhaustion this day had brought. But he couldn't do that. He needed to do this now. "Soon, but first I need you to do something for me. Can you do that?" he asked gently.
She nodded, still half asleep and not realizing that they weren't alone in the room.
"Carol, I brought Rick with me. He was worried about you and he wanted to check on you. You know the guy we found by the pond. Turns out he's a friend of Rick's from his hometown. He's here too."
Carol's eyes went wide. She slowly sat herself up in the bed and turned her gaze on Rick and Eric. "Rick, I'm sorry. Daryl told me that you know everything. I should have told you, but I didn't want to worry anyone. And then I go and lose it and worry everyone anyway. I'm sorry." she said, her voice already starting to crack again. Rick quickly moved to her side before she could break down and start crying again. He reached out and took her hand.
"Carol, don't you dare apologize to me. You don't have anything to be sorry for. If anything I should be apologizing to you. I'm sorry that none of us realized what was going on with you. We should have seen it." he said as he pulled her in for a hug.
When he released her, Daryl could see that she had calmed down a bit and he figured it was now or never. He nodded to Eric, signaling him to make his move. He stepped forward and Carol looked at him, a bit of confusion on her face, wondering why this stranger was here at a time like this. Eric extended his hand to her and she reluctantly took it, shaking it briefly before pulling away.
"Ma'am, I just wanted to thank you. If you hadn't come across my path out in the woods, I'd probably still be out there fighting for my life. You took pity on me and brought me back here to your leader, who was one of my best friends before the world went to hell. He told me a little bit about your condition and as a doctor and someone who owes you a huge debt, I would like to see if I can help you." he said.
She didn't know what to say. She was touched that he had come down here just to thank her, but she didn't know what it was that he thought he could do to help her. "I'm glad that it worked out for you, that you found Rick and all, but I don't think you understand. I have cancer, there's no more hospitals, no more radiation or chemo. I appreciate your offer, but it's not necessary. You don't owe me anything. I only did what I thought was right."
Daryl knew that she would shoot him down, and he didn't want to push her, but he had to. "Carol, please let him check you out. He just wants to help, maybe find a way to help with your pain. Please, do it for me."
She looked at him for a moment, seeing the desperation in his eyes. She didn't see the point, but if it made him feel better she would do it. She sighed and spoke. "Okay. I guess it's alright."
Eric smiled slightly as he slipped off his backpack and pulled out a small medical bag. "Thank you Carol. First thing I'm going to need to do is examine you. I just need to check a few things, maybe take a look at that cut on your head. I'm still really sorry about that by the way. Can't see all that well without my glasses. Good thing I swing like a girl, huh?"
Daryl smiled as he saw that Carol was relaxing a bit. This guy didn't seem too bad, had a good bedside manner anyway. He sat himself on the edge of the bed and grabbed Carol's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze as Eric continued.
"Rick, I'm gonna ask you to step outside while I examine her. Daryl, you can stay if you like."
Daryl squeezed Carol's hand tighter. "I'm staying right here."
Carol gently pulled her hand from his and looked at him. "Daryl, it's okay. I'll be fine, just go wait with Rick." She looked up to see that Rick had already stepped out in the hallway. She leaned over and whispered in his ear. "You two need to talk." she said before giving him a small kiss on the cheek.
He didn't want to leave her, but he didn't want to stay if it wasn't what she wanted. "I'm not going far." he said as he walked over to the door. She smiled at him and the sight was enough to make his heart almost melt. "I know you aren't."
He returned her smile before stepping outside of the room and closing the door. Rick was standing there, visibly uncomfortable now that it was just the two of them. There was still tension between them and Daryl knew that Carol was right. They had to talk it out. He took a step forward and spoke. "Rick, never got to tell you that I ain't mad at you for what you said. I understand why you might have thought that. I ain't exactly known for being a real gentle guy. I get it, why you said it. It ain't true and that's what matters. No hard feelings." he said, reaching out and patting his friend on the arm.
Rick looked up and saw that Daryl was being sincere. But just because he had forgiven him, it didn't make what he had said any less horrible. "I never should have said it man. Don't even know why I thought it. I judged you pretty quick when we first met, and even though you've proven time and time again that I was wrong about you, I guess some of those judgments stuck with me. I'm sorry man. I can't say that enough. I just… I saw her like that, and I thought about that asshole she was married to and about how we almost lost her once and I just kind of lost it. I can't lose any more people. It's all I think about, keeping everyone safe. I can understand why Carol shut herself down like she did. I've been pretty close to it myself a few times." he admitted.
Daryl watched the way Rick looked back down on the floor and he didn't know why but he felt like he needed to admit something of his own. "I understand man. That's how I feel when I think about losing her. Like I'm gonna lose it. I almost did. I couldn't get Carol to come around, she was scaring the shit out of me. I knew I had to shock her out of it. I told her that if she wanted to die, then I was dying too. Had my finger on the trigger and everything. She snapped back into reality as soon as she heard the safety click. But for a second, I wasn't sure if I was just threatening to do it or if I really meant it. I just… I don't know how I'd take it without her here."
Rick looked up, shocked at his confession. The suicide threat was bad enough, but the way he talked about Carol. The way he had been acting with her, that shocked Rick more than anything. "You really love that woman, don't you?"
Daryl nodded, kind of embarrassed that he had just admitted all that, but somehow feeling better for having shared it with someone else. "I've cared about Carol since I watched her take a pickax to her asshole of a husband. Not real romantic, but I don't know. She just changed so much in that moment, she stopped being so scared. I couldn't tell her, not back then, I didn't really think she'd want some filthy redneck like me. But I couldn't really leave her either. She's the reason I stayed with the group. I could've left but her and Sophia, they didn't have anyone else there to protect them. And then everything that happened at the CDC, losing Sophia, all of the crazy shit we've been through. I didn't even know what was happening, but I fell in love with her. I still couldn't tell her, didn't want to mess things up between us. But when she told me she was sick, I couldn't take it. I had to tell her how I felt while I had a chance. I just hope that it ain't too late."
"I hope so too. I don't think any of us can face losing her. I don't think we've realized it, but she's the one who holds us all together. All of the little things that she does, we take them for granted, but she'd the one who makes this place a home. We all need her."
Daryl nodded in agreement. They both felt like a weight had been lifted from them after their talk. They stood there quietly after that, an unspoken understanding between them as they waited for Eric to emerge from the room and tell them whether or not she was going to be okay.
Oooh, still not gonna tell you yet. Gonna let you wonder just a little bit longer. Thanks to all for reading. Update tomorrow. Please review! xoxo Bekah xoxo