Total Drama Island - the supernatural edition.
Aftermath 1: Checkin' the guy out and doin' like them
The cameras turn on as Katie and Sadie are talking about something.
"Oh my gosh Sadie, did you see that new Harry Potter?" Katie asked her BFFFL. "Like yeah!" Sadie replied, "I thought it was so sad when Dobby died!". "Like, me too!" Katie agreed, then they realised that the camera was on. "Well hi there, I'm Katie".
"And I'm Sadie".
"And this is Total Drama Aftermath!" they both announced.
"Well tonight we will be interviewing the guys and girls who have been kicked off the show so far, watch a few behind the scenes clips and perhaps get in a few songs as well" Katie said.
"But that's not all" Sadie continued, "We will also rank the players in both our "Hottie list", "Saints and sinners" and "Cupid's corner, but first, the first person to get eliminated from the show and possibly one of the scariest people we have ever met besides Eva, Heather, Duncan and the guy that made us buy a copy of the "Big issue", River!"
The crowd booed at the Banshee as she walked on stage in a blood red, off the shoulder dress, giving a few birds to some of the more nastier haters, and no not the flying kind of bird. "So... um... River, h-how's your time on the show been?" Sadie nervously stuttered.
"Well other than the fact that I was the first kicked off how do you think I felt?" the pyro asked, "It was the most humiliating thing in my entire life! I mean how dare those judges mark me as the worst being? I mean, okay I'm not as famous as a dragon but honestly, how can I be worse that Wes?"
"Okay, so who do you want to win?" Katie asked her. "Well, I'd have to say Cotton because both of us are kind of evil" she admitted. "So you wanna sing for us?" Sadie asked. "Well, okay but no cheesy pop anthems" she replied.
"So What" by Pink as sung by River
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Na, na, na, na, na, na (x2).
I guess I just lost my team
I don't know where he went
So I'm gonna spend my money
I'm not gonna pay their rent
I got a brand new attitude
And I'm gonna wear it tonight
I'm gonna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
I wanna start a fight
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
I wanna start a fight
So, so what, I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't need you
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight
The waiter just took my table
And gave it to Jessica Simps
I guess I'll go sit with drum boy
At least he'll knows how to hit (oops)
What if this song's on the radio?
Somebody's gonna die
I'm gonna get in trouble
My ex will start a fight
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
He's gonna start a fight
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na
Yeah, he's gonna get in a fight
So, so what, I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't need you
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight
You weren't there, you never were
You want it all but that's not fair
I gave you life, I gave my all
You we're there, you let me fall
So, so what, I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't need you
And guess what, I'm havin' more fun
And now that we're done I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight
I'm alright, I'm just fine and you're a fool
So, so what, I am a rock star
I got my rock moves and I don't want you tonight.
Bada bada bada prrt.
The crowd actually applauded for River for once as she sat down back in her seat.
"Alright, our next guess is everyone's blood sucking love rat that did things that involved Mertin, a razor, morphine and edible chocolate body paint which BTW still freaks me out...Drake!" Sadie announced.
As Drake walked onstage in a blood red tuxedo the crowd really booed, one even threw something that looked like dog business at his face but he dodged it and threatened the guy with verbal insults so bad that he would have to be screwed sideways.
"So um...Drake, um okay please bite us!" Katie shrieked.
"What the f**k girl?" Mertin asked her, "I got eliminated and punched in the face because that tramp Aphrodite made me kiss her by my ex boyfriend and I just got dog sh*t thrown at my face. Why do you want me to bite you"?
"We're on Team Edward" the both of them squeed as all the team Edward members followed suit.
"Okay, let me put this in words you may understand, Twilight is a sham! Bella's a Mary Sue, Edward is obviously having it off with the Gayturi and Jacob, well Jacob is a poser werewolf!"
"That was kinda mean Drake" Sadie said to the vampire who suddenly broke down in tears.
"I'm such an idiot. They hate me and I know they're right too. Mertin was the best thing I have ever had and what did I do? I cheated on him with some skank that looked like she would go for anything with two arms and two legs. I just want to tell him how sorry I am but I know it's too late".
"Do you mean that?"
"Wha...?" Drake asked as the screen flickered to reveal Mertin's face, crying from what Drake had said. "Oh my God Mertin is that you?" Drake asked him. Mertin just smiled and nodded. "Angel I'm so sorry. Please take me back".
What Mertin did next was unexpected. This guy had been his first love who for one night had made him happy and then the next day he destroyed him.
"Okay".
All of the audience, Katie and Sadie were in tears, even River was struggling to keep it together.
"We'll be right back" Sadie managed to say just as she started crying again.
After the commercial break it had seemed that even though everyone was red eyed, they had finally calmed down. And now it was Wes' turn to be interviewed. He was in a grey tux and sat next to Drake who was still relieved that he wasn't hated by Mertin anymore.
"So Wes, why did you bomb Cerise?" Katie asked him.
"Well, I guess I have no idea, I mean one minute I'm in the bathroom and the next I'm running in my monster form through the forest for no reason then Cerise comes into the cafeteria. Honestly, I didn't know I had done that" he replied before having a few cola cans thrown at him.
"Oi!" River shouted at the crowd, who quickly stopped.
"Wow, thanks Renna" Wes thanked her, but River was already sat back down, this was something to which he owed her for.
"Right, so without further ado, let's show this week's "That's gonna leave a mark!" Kaite cheered as the TV screen flickered to life.
Natasha walked into the kitchens to have a midnight snack when Chris' snake skin which had been recently shed was dropped on her by Wes who was hit by a large saucepan.
Leshawna had gone to the bathroom to see what all of the moan's were about when she saw Drake licking the blood and melted chocolate off of Mertin, she stepped back and slid out of there on a puddle of chocolatey blood and into a broom cupboard, the two guys oblivious to this.
Lana is packing up to leave when Julian walks out of the shower in a tower, in anger Lana creates a large vine and lets it squeeze the fire spirit right in the crown jewels.
Grimm is walking next to Tonia, trying to strike up a conversation when he trips on a root, sending him face first into the ground.
"Now that was funny!" River laughed, scaring everyone in the process.
"Whenever River smiles, a puppy dies" Wes said to the camera.
"Okay, now for some behind the scenes scenes!" Sadie announced
Tonia is looking at a photo of her, Lana and Renna, when they last visited Renna's mother's grave. That was a good time she thought.
"Hey Tonia, what are you doing here? I thought everyone was gonna try to get back at Julian" Grimm said as he walked into the room.
"I just can't believe she's gone so soon" Tonia whimpered, so Grimm took her in his arms and let her stain his shirt with her tears, then she noticed something.
"Is that the number thirteen tattooed onto your neck?" she asked him.
"Yeah, it's not the only one" he admitted, then he took his top off (cue screaming fangirls) and showed her the rest. There was a tattoo on his upper left arm of the Confederate flag and on the right upper arm is one of "Black Label Society" skull with the letters "S.D.M.F." under the skull, one of a sexy angel girl on his lower right arm and one of a sexy demon girl on his lower left arm and also on his back is a tattoo of a creepy looking grim reaper with the words "Don't fear the reaper" below it.
"Wow, the one on your back is so true, especially because you have no balls" Tonia commented.
"What are you talking about?" Grimm asked her as she kneed him in the crotch before throwing him out, muttering something about how dare he try to get into her pants while she was grieving.
Wes is shown brushing his teeth in the bathroom when Natasha arrives. "Can't you see I'm busy here?" he asks her. At that, her eyes start to glow purple as she performs the mind control spell, she gives him some bath bombs and he goes out, Natasha smiling to herself at this.
Natasha is seen again in the dead of night, Julian comes up from behind, grabbing her by the shoulders. "I know what you did to Wes" he snarled at her, "he was innocent and I'm gonna make you pay". She turns to face him, eyes going a shade of purple, saying to him, "and how will my mind slave do that when he's under my spell?" He falls to his knees as the camera turns off there.
"That bleeping bleep! I'm going to her blleeeeeeeeeeeeepp and bllleeeeeeeeeepppppppppp so she'll have to bleep sideways" Wes shouted, "bleep".
"We so agree Wes, she was bang out of order" Katie agreed.
"Now for a girl who knows firsthand how evil Natasha is. Lana!" Sadie announced as the pink haired girl came up on stage, making red roses explode from the ground as she walked past.
"So Lana, having seen the footage backstage, could you ever forgive Julian?" Katie asked her.
"Well I am still pretty angry that he stabbed me dressed like a gay clown but on the other hand he was under the wicked b*tch from the West's spell so yeah I forgive him" she replied as the crowd awed in response. "Oh, and since Katie and Sadie felt sorry for me I will be doing the final segment of the show, 'Stupid Cupid'!"
"This section gives us a look at they definite couples and the will they, won't theys that have appeared so far on the show" Lana stated.
"First up is one my personal favourites, Renniver or Renna/Oliver. The two hit it off when Oliver help my friend on stage in the first challeng and fro all the Deviantarts and fanfics these two have a sweetness to them with only one or two M rated ones"
"Up next is Dratin or Mertin/Drake for short. These two the on and off but now back on bisexual couple have had basically a night in San Francisco with their memorable blood and edible chocolate body paint session. These two when I looked them up have some sweet fanfictions but most of them and the Deviantart is about as full on and disgusting as Digimon porn".
"Who makes digimon porn? It's a kid's show" Wes interrupted.
Elsewhere, not a million miles away, Izzy was looking at some Takato/Guilmon slash and a video of Owen eating a chocolate cake in a flaming building. "Oh momma, this stuff's good" she purred as she started drooling and doing stuff none should know until they were 18, which she wasn't if anyone asks.
"Ahem, moving on it's finally CK or Cerise/TK. The two were an instant hit and have even given each other gifts. They may seem to be just friends but trust me, she and Tonia should start a Necrophilia lover's society" Lana said, "next time we'll show you more necrophilia, bestiality and other things that you will see in Twilight"
"Yeah, thanks Lana" Sadie thanked her, "now as we say our goodbyes, it's been a like totally fantabulous pleasure being here tonight."
"So we'll let Wes, Drake and Lana sing you out" Katie said, "bye bye for now".
"Until you were gone" by Lana, Wes and Drake
All: Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
( Drake: Check)
Drake: If I had all the money in the world
I still couldn't buy me a brand new girl I love...
Too much clubbing, not enough loving
Too much shopping, too busy chasing the skriller
Wes: Now look I lost me a winner
Sitting there singing this song like
You never know what you've got 'til it's gone like
Lana: Damn, I wish I would've seen it coming
Cause I blink for a second and you caught me slipping, Oh, Oh, Oh
Now we're done before we even started
Didn't know how much I missed you
(Drake: Didn't know how much I would miss you
I messed up the perfect picture)
Until You Were Gone, gone, gone
Until You Were Gone, gone, gone
Until You Were Gone, gone, gone
I didn't know how much I missed you
Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh-oh
Drake: Let me go, Yea
Wes: And look still I'm here
She left me with no idea
I just don't get it, it's kinda weird
How you took off quicker than my career. it's kinda rare
It took a wrong man to admit he's wrong
Still can't do it, I just put it in a song
So don't correct me, I know that I'm wrong
(Lana: I just need love)
Drake: I'm too stuck in my ways,
And I know this ain't helping me change
And I'm sitting here singing this song like
You never know what you've got 'til it's gone like
Damn
Lana: Damn, I wish I would've seen it coming
Cause I blink for a second and you caught me slipping, Oh, Oh, Oh
Now we're done before we even started
Didn't know how much I missed you
(Wes: Didn't know how much I would miss you
I messed up the perfect picture)
Until You Were Gone, gone, gone
Until You Were Gone, gone, gone
Until You Were Gone, gone, gone
I didn't know how much I missed you
All: Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh whoa oh oh oh oh oh-oh (Lana: Whooa)
Drake: Let me go, Yeah
All: I'm too stressed, let me try and not think
Close my eyes, you're inside my lids
So I try not blink for one split sec
'cause show boating got my sh*t wrecked
Since you left, nothing ain't right
Two different waves, we had to part tides
Had a long-sighted vision, it ain't the same with you missing
Didn't know how much I missed you until you were gone, gone, gone
Lana: until you were gone, gone, gone
until you were gone, gone, gone
until you were gone, gone, gone
Lana: I didn't know how much I missed you
(Wes and Drake: Didn't know how much I would miss you
I messed up the perfect picture)
Lana: Damn, I wish I would've seen it coming
Cause I blink for a second and you caught me slipping, Oh, Oh, Oh
Now we're done before we even started
I didn't know how much I missed you
(Wes and Drake: I didnt know how much I would miss you I messed up the perfect picture)
Until You Were Gone, gone, gone
Until You Were Gone, gone, gone
Until You Were Gone, gone, gone
Wow, that I think was really good, so next time we will have a different challenge. Guys, meet a fate worse than death.
Alex: The girls have their periods all at the same time?
No dingbat! You get to meet your fangirls!
All guys: !
'Till next time.