During Kakashi's absence, Iris found that life was rather lonely without him constantly there beside her; nagging her; teasing her.

As she went about her normal chores, there was a lack of something; a lack of stupid commentary about topics Kakashi obviously knew nothing about, a lack of snickering in the background when she did something wrong, and most of all, a lack of random visits that Iris secretly loved.

There was a missing piece in her life. Kakashi was gone. And it was her fault.

...It had been a week already, since she had last seen him.

After the messenger bird had arrived, Kakashi had ushered her out the door without a second thought. The tense atmosphere from before was both intensified and forgotten at the same time, and as she raced out the door; once again saying nothing as they parted ways, she almost felt it necessary to explain her willingness to leave. She didn't want him to think that she was eager to slip away from his company. it was just that the mood didn't really allow conversation.

So, unfortunately, she had left without even saying goodbye.

Of course, while still there, Iris had pretended not to know what the bird was. She pretended not to realize that it was a trained animal, used by ninja all over the Land of Fire. She pretended not to have her own connections with the shinobi world.

She pretended her whole relationship with Kakashi wasn't based on lies.

In any case, from there, Iris had made a swift retreat back to her own home, where her plants were beckoning for her again. Too exhausted, as she often was lately, she ignored them, before unlocking the door unceremoniously. It seemed to take forever to take her shoes off, as if they were telling her she had more work to do. They wanted her to get up again. To run to Kakashi and apologize, to tell him all of her dirty secrets right then and there before it was too late.

She didn't.

Next, Iris let her hair down from the bun it had previously sat in; allowing the soft waves to caress her bare neck and shoulders. She unzipped her dress, stepped out of it, and then slipped into the same style of nightgown she had worn the day before. She felt filthy, like there was sweat and mud tracing her spine, but she made no move towards the shower. Instead, she got into bed.

The covers hid the way her body still shook from raw emotion; but they could do nothing to convince Iris that everything was alright. Her mind was in tatters, and she could think of nothing but the disappointed look on Kakashi's face. The way his eyebrows furrowed, and his eyes flashed with pure fury. The way his muscles were clenched, and the way his jawline was wavering with the movement of clenched teeth.

The way he couldn't even stand to look at her as she left.

The events of her past were repeating themselves. This was the same as it had been with Itachi; the same as it had been with all of her other loved ones. Kakashi was a reincarnation, an aftershock, of her prior relationships. This was a reminder that she could never stay in one place too long.

She had moved to get away from this, to finally escape the hateful glares, but now it was back again. Iris had gotten too close with Kakashi. She needed to back away before it would become too painful. She needed to distance herself from the people of this village.

But she couldn't.

Iris had already gotten too attached to this countryside sector to leave. She couldn't just move away. She liked it here - dare she say loved - and for once, she had lasted more than a year without revealing anything. People enjoyed her presence in this quaint little town, and they were concerned about her. She had never experienced anything like that before. She couldn't simply force herself to forget their kindness. She...for once...she just wanted to be happy.

Sure, there were her parents, who had supported her from the very beginning, and who still did, but that wasn't enough. They loved her, without a doubt, but they didn't understand. No one did, and no one could. Iris was a special case, and no one but herself would ever truly comprehend her feelings.

She was simply a monster.

"Kakashi…" she had spoken into the darkness of her room; sadness laced in her voice, and in the way she clutched her upper arms for support.

"I'm sorry."

...As if to atone, as she fell asleep, Iris welcomed the nightmares.

From there, the days had passed painfully slowly. Nothing happened, without him there to attract the trouble. There were no loud, angry shouts of the other neighbors he had trespassed on again, and there wasn't any infatuated puppies following him all the way to her house. There wasn't even a single argument with Margo, if that was possible. Kakashi had simply sucked the life; sucked the pure drive and willpower out of their little town.

Iris didn't know how much more she could take.

To fill the void, she had spent countless wasted hours in her garden; weeding where she had already weeded, watering where she had already watered. She started making frequent trips to Margo's house, so she wouldn't be alone. She traveled to and from the Konoha Hospital facilities constantly, bringing in new shipments of herbs whenever even a single leaf sprouted anew.

To sum it all up, she was hopeless without Kakashi. This wasn't the first time he had left for a mission, but this time, it had hit her with a foreign intensity. After acknowledging that she may have had feelings for him, yet kept denying it, she felt as if she really did have an inseparable bond with the strange man. She felt like...like she was in love again.

Like…

No. That was impossible.

"Stupid thoughts," she reminded herself. "Positively stupid."

Iris then sighed; digging her heels into the coarse dirt outside the restaurant she worked at. Without fully realizing it, her feet had carried her here. They knew that she needed a break from all these complicated thoughts. Working would let her focus on something else.

Yeah. That's what she would do. She would work until she couldn't work anymore. She would tire herself out, so when she finally returned home, there would be no other option than sleep. Nightmares were nothing compared to the world she was living in. Iris would take them any day.

"Uchiha-san?" she called into the store; after poking her head through the sliding doors. Immediately, she found him, and she smiled; wedging the rest of her body inside the pleasantly air conditioned room.

"Would you mind if I started work a little early today?"

Of course, he had no problem with her starting an hour or so before her shift. She was used to his carefree, yet somewhat firm personality, so it was no surprise. Still though, even just hearing him say it himself was a huge relief. This was something she could do without messing up. She knew how to execute her job. No thoughts of Kakashi necessary.

The doorbell rang just as she finished changing.

"Good afternoon!" she called; tying the strings of her apron behind her back as she did so. "How may I serve you today?"

The night was unbearably cold.

Iris had finished her shift at midnight, and walked home in the strangely frigid air with chattering teeth. Nothing had gone wrong while she was at her job. There was only a handful of drunks, and even still, they were manageable. It wasn't a noteworthy day, but it was putting money in her pocket. And for that, Iris was grateful.

After arriving home, she threw a nightgown on once more, thinking instantly of her plants, and how she really should go out and sing to them. She had been slacking lately, because of all the Kakashi business, and she knew that they were getting a little too angry for comfort.

There was no feeling in how she had watered them, during the past few days. She could hears their thoughts, but her own mind was blocked, and nothing was getting through to her beloved plants. They assumed something was wrong of course, but not knowing was bugging them, just as it would anyone. They cared about their mother. And if she wasn't feeling well, they needed to know why.

Clicking her tongue, Iris slipped on a light jacket, before skipping out to the garden; bringing a lawn chair with her. She would tell her plants what was happening. They deserved to know.

Iris's feet padded along the hard ground quietly, created a hollow thumping sound that could surely only be heard by her and her plants. No one else, on the entire planet knew that she was out here; fretting over how she would explain a desperate situation to a pile of leaves and stems. No one knew, so no one thought she was crazy.

With a million thoughts running rampant in her head, she positioned the chair just right, so she was sitting in front of all of them. At her sudden appearance, each individual plant seemed to lean forward; interested, and sure that she was here to explain why she hadn't been spiritually connected to them lately.

After taking a seat, and smoothing the wrinkles in her gown, she began.

"So I know I've been pretty unfair to you guys lately."

They nodded their approval and agreement toward her words.

"But I'm here today, to apologize. And to explain."

All of their ears, wherever they were located, perked forward.

"I think I might be in love again," she said quietly, after some thought. "Maybe not as deeply as with Itachi - you remember him, he had the beautiful long hair - but surely enough for me to be fazed. This man's entire being remains on my mind wherever I go, and it's started affecting how often I spend time with you guys, so for that, I'm sorry.

"But other than that, I can really only say that I am terrified. Terrified of losing him, and terrified of him finding out about me. He doesn't even know anything yet, and he's acting like he hates me. Just last week, we had two major arguments within the span of two days; maybe even only 24 hours if you stretch the time right. It's only because he's on a mission that we're not dealing more blows right now." She drew in a breath.

"I know this separation is probably good for us, so we can have time to sort out our feelings, but all I've been thinking about lately is how much I miss him. And how much I want to hold his hand, and run my fingers through his white hair, and to rip that mask right off his face so I can-"

Iris paused, surprised herself by her own feelings. She didn't think it was this extreme. She didn't realize that her want for him had grown to such a point without her even knowing;

...The plants nudged her with their leaves; urging her to continue. She nodded.

"As I said, I think I'm in love with him. I didn't want to admit it, but I am. His name is Kakashi, and he's the biggest idiot I've ever met, but I love him. He knows the pain I feel, in his own way, and he's dealing with it in ways that I never even imagined. He's actually counteracting the demons inside of him. He's smiling. He's able to get up and continue. And I admire him so much for that.

"To finish, I just want to say that I'm sorry, again, for ignoring you guys. I took the easy way out, and didn't realize - or care - how it was affecting you. I can only ask for your forgiveness; and for your guidance, because I'm definitely going to need it. Thanks for standing tall, even when I feel like wilting. You may not be human, but I love you. All of you. Thank you so, so much."

Her voice trailed off like the sound of the wind, whistling through the trees. A warmth instantly filled her chest. It was their way of hugging her.

They were finally connected again.

It felt wonderful to have all of that out in the open, but also, it made her feel strangely burdened as well. It felt as if she had just let out a catastrophic secret to the entire world. She felt like every second of it had been recorded, and now that she had said it out loud, there was finally proof to show Kakashi, and to have him shy away in disgust, even before the worst news came.

He didn't even know the beginning of what she was, but he already hated her. And here Iris was, smiling like an idiot because she had made insignificant progress within herself.

"Stupid thoughts," she repeated; quoting herself.

"Positively stupid."