Chapter 11
Author's Note: "Not Sure Yet" is by Andy Lange.
Billy tugged at the Windsor knot at his throat as he waited in the living room for Jane to finish getting ready. The final days of his and Jane's senior year had steadily ticked away, and now they were down to the last 3 weeks before graduation and that spring institution of the American high school experience: Senior Prom.
As much as Billy loved spending time with Jane and seeing her all dolled up, a small part of him had hoped that their trip to the winter formal would absolve him from the fuss of participating in prom. He had been sorely mistaken, however. Now he sat, clad in white tie and tuxedo jacket, black pants and shirt, and black and white sneakers, and he waited.
Ben chuckled as Billy shrugged out of his jacket, slung it over the back of the couch, and slouched into the cushions. "If you really didn't want to go, you should have just told her," Ben whispered.
"It's not that I'm absolutely against it," Billy said, "I just kind of feel like 'been there, done that,' you know?" Billy leaned forward and lowered his voice before continuing, "Besides, she did that thing. You know how her eyes get all wide and . . . she fluttered her freaking eyelashes at me, man! What was I supposed to do?"
"What were you supposed to do about what?" Jane asked.
"My, uh—," Billy stopped before he could even finish thinking of a lie to tell Jane. He and Ben both looked up to find her standing just outside her bedroom door. She had pulled her curls up and back, but left just a few framing either side of her face. The silver baubles in her ears matched the tiny spheres and rings circling her neck in an alternating pattern. Aside from the necklace, her neck and shoulders were bare since she had chosen a strapless dress. The cobalt fabric crisscrossed from Jane's chest to waist, hugging her petite frame, but from the waist down, tiny pleats created slight volume and the skirt swayed lightly with her slightest movement. She had opted for a cocktail-length dress rather than the traditional floor-length prom gown, so the bottom of the dress stopped a couple of inches above her knees. The silver shoes she wore added two to three inches to her height, but were otherwise little more than thin straps around her ankles, behind her heels, and across the tops of her feet.
Both young men stood, but Ben was the first to speak, "You look beautiful, Jane."
"Thanks, Ben," she answered. Then she turned to Billy, "So what do you say, Nutter? I won't embarrass you too much tonight, will I?"
"No way!" Hearing the awed exuberance in his own voice, Billy cleared his throat to mask the change in tone and volume before speaking again, "You look gorgeous, Janie."
Jane beamed, "Thanks, Billy, you're pretty dapper yourself."
The two friends endured a few seconds of awkward silence and bashful glances before Ben cleared his throat with a knowing smile. "Alright, let's go over the rules again."
Jane snapped out of her connection with Billy to roll her eyes, "Ben! We get it! We are not going to do anything to your car!" Since Ben hadn't been asked to chaperone the prom, Jane had managed to talk him into letting her and Billy borrow his car so they wouldn't have to take The Beast, but his agreement had come with a list of restrictions. Ben dangled the keys from his index finger and raised his eyebrow expectantly. Jane sighed, "Fine. No speeding."
"No texting," Billy added.
"No extra passengers," Jane resumed.
Billy chimed in again, "No valets."
"No street parking. No food. No drinks. No distractions," Jane rattled off. She held her palm out to Ben as she finished and he nodded, satisfied, and dropped the keys into her hand. "Thank you, Brother," she said with a hug and a smile. Then she turned to Billy, grinning, "Let's go!"
Billy shrugged into his jacket as Jane headed outside. "Just a second, Billy," Ben called just as Billy reached the door.
"Yeah. What's up?" Billy asked.
Ben clapped Billy on the shoulder, "I just wanted to say that even though I've known you almost your whole life and you're like family to me, Jane is my baby sister, so if anything happens tonight I'll have to—"
"Whoa," Billy said holding up his hands and backing away.
Ben chuckled, "I'm just messing with you. You're just about the only guy I would trust her with. You two have fun."
"What did Ben want?" Jane asked when Billy joined her outside.
"Nothing," he said smiling and shaking his head. "Who's driving?"
Jane pointed down to her feet, "You see these shoes, right?" She tossed the keys to Billy before climbing into the passenger seat.
They were both inside with their seatbelts buckled when Billy reached for the gear shift then let his hand drop. "I almost forgot," he said.
"Forgot what?" Jane asked as he unbuckled his seatbelt to dig through his pockets.
He handed her a flat, square box. "Open it."
She lifted the lid to find a bracelet made of candy tarts. She giggled and unbuckled her own seatbelt to reach across the center console and pull him into a hug, "Thank you, Billy." He had given her the candy jewelry every Valentine's Day until sixth grade when some classmate or another caught on to their tradition and the teasing had sent Jane to the bathroom in tears.
He saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes now and launched into an apology, "I'm sorry, Jane. I thought about a corsage, but this made more sense to me at the time. Please, don't cry. We've still got time to stop somewhere and get flowers,"
"No!" Jane shouted. "It's perfect!" She dabbed at the corners of her eyes to stop the tears from spilling over her lids, "You've got to learn, Billy Nutter. The ladies don't only cry because things are bad; sometimes we cry because things are really awesome."
Rather than having dinner at a fancy restaurant, Jane and Billy stopped for burgers from their favorite food truck at Whitemarsh Park. They sat at a picnic table and people-watched as the sun moved closer to the horizon, and after they ate, they had an impromptu photo shoot with their cellphones. They even managed to get passersby to snap a few poses for them. They only left the park when the automatic lights began to flicker on as it got dark.
The prom was being held in the ballroom of a resort hotel about 20 minutes from Whitemarsh. The prom committee had chosen the theme, "A Night in Paris" so as Billy and Jane crossed from the hotel's lobby into the ballroom they were surrounded by yards of white twinkle lights, draped black tulle, and a 9-foot replica of the Eiffel Tower. Billy leaned down to whisper in Jane's ear, "Doesn't quite compare to the real thing, huh?"
"Not quite," she smiled up at him, "but I'm with you this time." She reached for his hand and gave it a squeeze. "C'mon!" She pulled him into the line of students waiting to have their picture taken by the photographer the school had hired. Minutes later they stood in front of a backdrop featuring a wrought-iron park bench and lamp post, Billy behind Jane with his arms clasped around her waist as the photographer had instructed. They waited as he adjusted equipment to accommodate their height and coloring, and then counted backwards from three. As he said "one" Jane stepped forward and blew a kiss toward the camera while Billy crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back with a smug grin. They burst into laughter after the bulbs flashed, and missed the photographer's exasperated sigh and eye roll as he waved the next couple in front of the camera.
"I love this song!" Jane giggled as she practically bounced onto the dance floor. The DJ's next selection wasn't as beloved, but was catchy enough to keep the couple dancing along to the beat. As the songs transitioned seamlessly from one to another, Jane and Billy stopped dancing just twice, the first time to deposit his jacket and her hand bag at a makeshift coat check manned by the chaperones, and the second for sips of water. They were finally forced to take a break when the music stopped so that Ms. Cartwright, the faculty advisor for the prom committee, could make announcements.
They drifted from the floor toward an empty table, but Jane pulled Billy's ear down to her mouth before he could sit down, "Ladies' room. Be right back." Billy nodded his understanding and settled into a chair to wait. Jane managed to make it through the line for the bathroom without much of a wait, and was on her way back to the ballroom when she heard her name.
"Jane, hey!" She turned to see Nick following behind her.
"Oh. Hi, Nick," she replied. In the months since she had found out about Nick kissing Lulu, Jane's disappointment had all but disappeared. However, because they had rarely spoken since they stopped seeing one another, the slight awkwardness of their pre-winter formal conversations had returned.
"You look nice," Nick offered.
"You too, Nick." As the seconds ticked by without further response, Jane began backing away and pointed over her shoulder. "Well, it was good to see you, but Billy's waiting so . . . ."
Nick smiled awkwardly, "Yeah, I saw you two come in together, so I guess it's official." Jane opened her mouth to speak, but Nick continued, "I'm not angry or anything, not that I'd have a right to be even if I were." Nick heard himself rambling and backtracked to start again, "I just—I mean, I guess I didn't see it before because I was so focused on dating you myself, but you and Billy make sense; no guy calls a girl who's just his friend, 'amazing.' Not the way Billy said it anyway."
Jane narrowed her eyes, confused, "What do you mean?"
"Before I asked you out, I thought maybe you and Billy were together so I asked him about you."
"Oh, no," Jane answered, realization dawning, "Billy and I—"
"I know you weren't with him then, but when we talked—he told me you were beautiful, smart, and amazing. At the time I didn't really think about what that meant coming from another guy in your life, but now it makes sense." Jane stood in silence, mouth slightly agape. Nick, apparently taking her silence for discomfort, started his own verbal retreat, "But, yeah, um, I should probably get back to my date, too. See you around Jane." Jane nodded distractedly and turned back toward the ballroom.
She walked back to the table where Billy waited with her stomach fluttering, but just before she reached him, Billy looked up and winked at her. That small gesture and the grin he flashed were enough to make her forget that she had anything to be apprehensive about. Billy was her best friend, wasn't it his job to speak well of her? "What'd I miss?" she asked as she slipped into the chair next to him.
"Nothing really," he shook his head. "The voting for king and queen ends in half an hour, crowning 30 minutes later, and the photographer's leaving after that."
"Did you vote?" Jane asked while slipping a cup of punch from his hands and starting to sip.
"No," he shrugged. "You?"
Jane shrugged and handed the cup back to Billy, "No, but I may. Just in the interest of having another vote for someone other than Lulu."
Billy laughed, "Really, Janie?"
"What?" She asked, feigning innocence. When Billy raised an eyebrow in mock judgment, she conceded. "Fine, I'll be the bigger woman," she paused briefly for emphasis, "but that doesn't mean I want to be forced to watch any more of Queen Lulu's reign over her subjects."
"Agreed," Billy nodded.
"One more dance and we go?"
Jane giggled as Billy stood and extended his hand in an exaggerated bow, "My lady."
"Sir Billy." She curtsied and let him take her hand to lead her onto the dance floor.
As if on cue, the beats of the top 40 pop song faded away to a slower song that opened with an echoing pulse followed by the strumming of a guitar. Jane looped her hands around Billy's neck and he wrapped his arms around her waist as they swayed along with the opening lyrics: I'm not sure yet/About life/About love/But in time/I'm sure it'll all be fine.
Jane rested her head against Billy's shoulder while his cheek lay against her hair. The verses of the song gave way to a wordless chorus that allowed Jane's thoughts to wander and ponder her present contentment, Nick's words from earlier in the night, and the unspoken tension that was beginning to appear between her and Billy more and more often. She stood up straight to look him in the eye, "Can I talk to you about something?"
"Anything."
"I bumped into Nick on the way back from the bathroom. Apparently, he assumed since we're here together tonight, that we're together together, and he . . . he said that you told him I was amazing, and beautiful."
"He . . . I . . . what?" Billy stammered and avoided Jane's eyes, struggling to follow the rhythm of the song and regain his composure at the same time.
"Billy?"
He gave up avoidance, and looked back down at her. "I also said that you're smart."
"I know," she smiled. "Did you mean it?"
"Of course I meant it, Janie. Every word."
"And that night you showed up at the fashion show and said, 'It's you,' what did you mean then?"
"I meant," Billy paused. "I meant that it's always you, Jane. When I'm excited about something, you're the first person I want to tell, and when I'm bummed out, you're the one I know I can count on to help me out of it. I always want to be with you, and when I'm not, I'm thinking about you."
Jane choked up at his words, but tried desperately to hold back her tears; she didn't want to cry for the second time in less than 6 hours. "Why didn't you say that before?" she asked.
"Because you looked so scared that night, like you knew what I was going to tell you, but like you didn't want to hear it. Plus, that Jeremy guy was there and I wasn't sure what was going on with you two. I had kind of showed up there on impulse, but I lost my nerve before I could actually tell you how I felt."
"I was scared, Billy, I was afraid things might change too much, but I still wish you had told me. It might have helped me figure out my feelings a lot sooner, and we could have saved a lot of wasted time."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"It's the same for me, Billy. It's always you." Jane pulled his head down so that their lips met. They stopped dancing as the kiss deepened and their focuses shifted from their feet to one another.
Jane tensed as she felt Billy pull away, but she dismissed her fears of rejection when she saw the reason. Mrs. Chase, Whitemarsh's septuagenarian civics teacher, stood behind Billy with her hand on his shoulder and a censuring look. "That will be enough of that," she said. She waved her hand toward Jane gesturing her to back away from Billy, and Jane complied. Satisfied, the chaperone walked away in search of more rule breakers.
As soon as the woman was out of earshot, both Jane and Billy started to laugh. "Come on," he said, taking her hand again. "Let's get out of here."