Chapter 11: The Location Altercation
Something was off about Amy. Sheldon couldn't decide what, exactly, but she seemed distracted. Yes, she had her usual sweet smile for him when he arrived, and she remained the same brilliant conversationalist throughout dinner. But there was an undercurrent running through her words.
It was during a game of Counterfactuals that he realized Amy was nervous and upset. The game was going well, Amy had prepared a challenging set of questions, but her responses seemed rote. When she challenged him about A Tale of Two Cities, he knew something was wrong. She had clearly written it in advance, she must have hoped to stump him by referencing a stupid novel he read years ago (I should have never told her about that class in undergrad); but even though he knew his answer was sub par, she accepted it without a counter challenge. He couldn't help but internally puff up a little bit, gloating that everyone else was wrong and he could read nonverbal cues, after all.
"Amy, are you all right? You seem distracted."
Amy jumped, actual physical jerking. Sheldon was surprised. She was more tense and on edge then he thought.
"I have something to tell you, Sheldon, and I'm not sure how you'll react." Her voice quivered a bit.
"Proceed."
"Remember I told you that I had a call this afternoon with Dr. Matthews from the Berkley neuroscience division?"
"Of course."
"Well, it wasn't about my research, exactly. He . . ." She looked down and starting picking at the edge of her cardigan. She took a deep breath. "He offered me a job. He wants me to go work there, to be chief of the neuroscience lab."
"Amy, that's wonderful news." Why was she so nervous about that? This was huge career advancement for her.
Her head jerked back up, and she stared at him. "How is that wonderful news?"
"Why, Amy, it's great professional opportunity for you. You would probably get more funding. You'd be able to decide on your own research needs. It puts you one step closer to the Nobel Prize." Sheldon furrowed his brow. He was confused.
"But I'd have to move."
Why is her voice getting louder? "So? If it's good for your career and long term scientific goals, I don't see how you can not take it."
"You don't care that I'd have to move hours away from here?"
Oh no, Amy was angry. Sheldon was shocked. Why? What had he said? Sometimes she could be so irrational. "What is geography when it comes to scientific advancement, Amy? What difference does it make where you make your big discovery as long as you make it? Don't you want the money and freedom to make that advancement?"
Tears slipped out of Amy's eyes. Why is she crying? She said between her tears, "But what about us?"
"Us? Obviously, I'll stay here where my work is."
Amy wiped her face with her hand in an angry move. I've done something wrong, and I don't understand what. "So you'd break up with me for our careers?"
Sheldon was shocked again. Really, women can be so emotional. "Who said anything about breaking up? We'll just make a paradigm shift in The Relationship Agreement. We'll set nightly FaceTime appointments like we did when I went to Texas, and we'll make a schedule for weekend trips. Oh, I can take the train!"
A sound escaped from Amy that was different from anything he had heard before. It was sad and angry and full of air and it sounded physically painful to him. What was happening here?
"Leave, Sheldon."
"Why are you angry at me? I don't understand your reaction!" Sheldon felt his own anger rising.
Amy stood and marched to the door, opening it. "If you don't understand what's happening here, then we have nothing to discuss."
"But Amy -"
"Per the statutes of The Relationship Agreement, I am giving you 48 hours notice that we need to have a serious conversation about this. Maybe in those 48 hours you can apply all of your 187 IQ points to the situation and figure out what is wrong. If you can't, then I guess you're not as smart as you think you are. Now leave!"
He had never seen Amy this way before. She was so very angry, she must also be sad as she was crying, and she was purposely hurting him by insulting his intelligence. He was shocked and frightened. He got up and walked toward her at the door. He reached out to touch her arm -
"Just leave, please." This time she didn't yell it. She said it so calmly, so coldly, tears still running down her face. It was worse than a scream. Sheldon didn't know what to do, what to say, how to make this right. He turned and left.
The door slammed shut behind him. He stood there. Then he heard that painful sound again. And again. She's sobbing, he realized. It was the most horrible sound he had ever heard.
He was surprised to find Leonard home, sitting in his chair, watching television. He dropped his keys in the bowl and started to remove his jacket. "You're home?"
"Yeah, Penny and Bernadette went to watch some chic flick. Amy must have really wanted to see you, she turned them down." Leonard screwed up his face. "Hey, you're home early. What's up?"
Sheldon turned to face him. Before he could reply, Leonard said, "Man, buddy, you look terrible! Are you sick? Did something happen?"
He had thought on the bus ride home that he just wanted to be alone, but he now realized that talking things through with Leonard might help. He almost wailed, "Yes, I've made Amy angry at me, and I don't understand why."
"I'll make you some tea." Leonard clicked off the TV and went to the kitchen. Sheldon sat down on one of the stools. After a few minutes filled with just the sound of the kettle being started, Leonard said, "So . . . what happened?"
"Amy was offered the position of Chief of Neurobiology at UC Berkley. She asked me what I thought about it, and I told her she should take it. Then she was angry at me." Sheldon took the offered mug. "I'm so confused."
Leonard stood next to the island, leaning against it. "Maybe she was hurt."
"Hurt? Why? I was supporting her career ambitions. How is that hurtful?"
"Well, she'd have to move to the Bay Area, right? Maybe she doesn't want to be that far away from you. Long distance relationships can be hard."
"Not for us. We're both brilliant. I told her we'd FaceTime every evening, and we'd work out a plan to alternate weekend trips."
"Don't you think she would see that as a step back?"
"What do you mean?" Sheldon was irritated, Leonard was only making this more confusing.
Leonard sighed. "I mean that FaceTime isn't the same as seeing someone in person every evening. When's the last time you and Amy didn't spend part of a day together? You always find excuses. You even do laundry together. What about The Relationship Agreement? You hardly ever mention it anymore. I even hear that you two have making out a lot lately. I think Amy thought the same thing the rest of us did, that you're in a happy, normal relationship. If she moves away, everything could change."
Sheldon stared down into his tea. Leonard was right about the amount of the time they spent together now. So much he'd forgotten to keep his log book. Now that he thought about it, they were breaking so many rules in The Relationship Agreement. The total disregard for structure should have made him angry, but now he could only focus on something Leonard had said.
"You think we are happy and normal?" He'd never considered himself normal.
"Well, not you. You'll never be normal. I just meant your relationship was more normal. At least you're happy, right?"
No, not just happy. We're content. He hadn't thought of that before, and he found that the knowledge of his contentment with Amy made him even more content. But, for Leonard, he just nodded.
"It probably hurt her when you didn't realize how happy she was with you. And maybe she thought you weren't happy with her. I'd be hurt if I thought the person I loved wasn't happy with me."
Something very, very tiny, only microns wide, started to pierce Sheldon's chest. It was like the most painfully exquisite bee sting ever. He gasped. "You think Amy loves me?"
Leonard shrugged. "Sure. Don't you see it?"
This new feeling was burrowing in now, drilling from the inside out, opening a small crack. His eidetic memory flew. The laughter, the listening ear, the cup of tea always when he needed it, the warm smiles, the little touches from her hands, the fiery touches from her lips, the little gifts, the listening ear, the silly jokes, the cute little texts, the gold flecks glittering in her eyes when she looked at him. The little crack had expanded to a fissure. "I trust you." Amy loves me. That's what she had meant! And I never knew. How could I not? I feel so stupid! What's wrong with me? How long have I missed this?
"Listen, Sheldon. Let me explain this to you terms you'll understand. You're going as Doctor Who and River Song to Stuart's party right?"
Sheldon nodded. "If she'll still go with me."
Leonard flicked his hand. "We'll worry about that tomorrow. Right now, I think you should think about River. What is so important to her that she writes down every detail her blue book?"
This new, strange pain was spreading down his legs and his arms. Leonard stood up straight and added, not unkindly, "You should be able to figure this out, Sheldon. Good night."
Leonard left him alone at the island, his untouched tea rapidly cooling in his hands, his entire body filled with this new heat.
Could it be? Maybe . . . possibly . . .
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