Chapter 11

At the end of her first week of confinement Beckett allowed Jennifer to finish recovery in her own room as long as she got plenty of rest and stayed away from the infirmary and research lab. Ronon helped her get settled and kept her company for the first few days until his team had a mission off world.

Once Dr. Weir got back she took some time to get caught up on paperwork and mission reports before scheduling a meeting with everyone who'd been a part of the Manara mission hoping to get a clearer picture first hand of what happened. The delay gave Dr. Keller time to heal and begin some sessions with Dr. Heightmeyer.

Jennifer just finished her first half-day back at work spending it in the research lab. It felt good to have her eyes off of herself and on to something worthwhile. She was so tired of the nightmares, the guilt, the attention from everyone … none of it helped her feel better. Throwing herself into her work was the only thing that ever consumed her and right now that is just what she needed.

Lorne watched her power her computer off as he walked through the door, "Hey sunshine … are you ready for lunch?" he asked with that killer smile.

"Perfect timing…I was just going to have a yogurt in my room but eating with the handsome Major Lorne would probably improve my reputation," she laughed, clapping her hands like a silly schoolgirl.

"Hey … is that sarcasm? I'll have you know there are women on this base who'd love to have a lunch date with me," he teased.

"Are we talking about Sandy in the Geology dept … or I could always fix you up with my new nurses aid?" she offered innocently knowing both women had practically thrown themselves at his feet."

"Remind me not to have you fix me up on a blind date," he growled, rolling his eyes.

The two friends slowly moved toward the door enjoying their playfulness… it'd been a while since they'd been this carefree… Evan hated to ruin it, "Before we leave I've been meaning to talk to you … to apologize," he stammered, stopping her at the doorway.

"There's no need," Jen assured.

"You don't even know what I'm apologizing for."

"Doesn't matter … whatever it is you're forgiven," she smiled, placing her hand on his arm.

"It does matter … I'm sorry, Jen, for what you went through …for not saving you … I let my guard down."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Manara … I should have trusted you," she countered, feeling the sting of tears forming.

Lorne stood watching her, wanting to save her from all the evil in the world, "Do you forgive me?"

"Yes," she whispered. Feeling him take her into his arms she cried the few tears she had left.

Abby walked into the lab catching her friend in a loving embrace with the cute Major, "Hey you two … maybe you should get a room," the Sergeant giggled.

"Busted," Evan teased Jen tucking her under his arm.

"I came to see if you wanted to get some lunch together unless you had other plans," Abby asked suggestively, winking at Evan.

"We were just heading that way and you can join us," Jennifer insisted, blushing.

As they began their trip to the dining hall Sergeant Beyers received a radio call to report to the conference room … Harrison's team was ready for an off world mission and down a man needing Abby to fill the spot. "Sorry guys, can I get a rain check?"

"Go … we'll catch up when you get back," Jen suggested, hugging her friend before she ran off to the briefing.

"So … you and Beyers are good friends?" Evan asked curiously.

"Yes … you interested?" she asked, jabbing him in the ribs playfully.

"Maybe … she's a good soldier … just curious what she's like off duty."

"I think you two need a formal introduction … I know she's looking," she laughed.

"I'm just looking to know my recruits better … don't read so much into it," he growled.

"Uh huh … keep telling yourself that," she smirked as they entered the dining hall.

The two friends took a table out on the balcony looking forward to enjoying the nice weather they'd been having. Jennifer didn't realize how good it felt to get away from her solitude. Since she'd been released to her room for recovery she hadn't recognized how isolated she'd become … a morning in the lab and time spent in the fresh air made her feel like her life was taking a turn for the better. Maybe her luck was about to change.

Sergeant Sagers watched the Doc and his team leader walk across the mess hall and out onto the balcony. He couldn't help but feel irritated with the woman. She'd caused a huge uproar during their last mission yet everyone seemed to run to her aid … no wonder she was such a jinx. They all coddled her, excusing her mistakes to the point it was just expected. He certainly wouldn't have received the same treatment if it'd been his fault. In the midst of the fray he'd softened toward the doctor but now he was beginning to see more clearly. She was soft.

~000~

Dr. Weir finally scheduled a debriefing on the Manara debacle once she had all the players back in the City at the same time. At this point she just wanted to put the whole thing behind her but she knew the IOA wouldn't leave it alone … she wanted to hear all the facts before opening up that can of worms.

Jennifer entered the conference room taking a seat next to Abby on the far side of the table. Lorne, Rivers and Beckett were seated across from them next to Teyla. Jen felt nervous and rather isolated … she was not looking forward to explaining what happened especially when there were so many involved. She was staring intently at the center of the table thinking about the events when Sergeant Sagers walked in taking the seat next to her. Sighing a little too loudly, she caught the man's attention watching him smirk.

"I see you saved a seat for me," he grinned, adding a wink for good measure. He loved how easily he could provoke the good doctor. Hopefully he'd be able to give his assessment of the mission starting with how ill prepared Keller was.

Ronon and Sheppard entered the room leaving the group waiting on Rodney … as usual. The Specialist grabbed a chair setting it next to Jennifer while glaring at Sagers until the Sergeant moved over giving the Satedan room to scoot in next to her. He didn't like the man and he hated him being so close to Jennifer… hopefully the scowling look he sent the sergeant would be enough to dissuade the man from doing anything to upset her.

"Thank you all for being so prompt," Dr. Weir announced as Rodney came barging through the door, data pad in hand. "I've asked you all to convene once again concerning the Manara mission now that Dr. Keller is able to join us," she said, smiling at Jennifer,

Jennifer acknowledged Elizabeth with a nod wondering if she could have gotten out of the meeting … headache … memory lapse … scheduling a double shift … hopefully this wouldn't last long.

Ronon heard her groan quietly … leaning closer he put his hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Don't think about it … think about what movie we can watch together later." He was rewarded with a small smile and she stole a quick look sideways.

Jennifer wondered how he always knew the right thing to say. More than anything right now she just wanted to curl up with a good book behind closed doors or maybe curl up with Ronon on his couch with a good movie. Something with a lot of action that would hold his attention so she could snuggle up against him and sleep … she would kill for a good night's sleep, free of nightmares. But then I'm sure he has better things to do in his free time than baby-sit me, she thought.

"I've gone over the preliminary reports for this mission but would like to go over a few areas before I meet with the IOA," Elizabeth began handing out the report to those gathered around the table. "Dr. Keller …I know this may be difficult but I'd like to hear from you first."

Jennifer cleared her throat while the room quieted. All eyes were on her as she unconsciously ran a hand over the scars on her face… time was helping the healing process and the bruising was almost gone but she still knew where every cut, bruise and scratch resided. Taking a deep breath she felt Ronon slip his hand over her trembling fingers putting her hand on his leg under the table for support. Feeling the squeeze of his hand gave her the courage to begin.

"Major Loren was helping me in the infirmary they'd set up at the edge of the settlement … I was diagnosing the twelve patients who were all presenting with the same symptoms in various stages of discomfort. We had about three or four men left to collect blood samples from when I ran out of vials so I went to the supply boxes to get some more and some extra patient charts."

"Why didn't the Major accompany you?" Weir asked, making notes on her copy of the mission report.

"It was evening and we hadn't had any trouble all day… we needed extra blankets handed out and one of the patients needed some water. I told Evan I could handle it myself while he took care of the water and blankets… it should have only taken me a few minutes."

"Go on, Doctor," Elizabeth directed.

Jennifer knew the next part was going to be hard; she hadn't even come to terms with it herself. She quickly flipped her hand palm side up and interlaced her fingers with Ronon before taking a steadying breath. "When I got outside I talked with Sergeant Rivers for a few minutes before he left to switch places with Sergeant Sagers. Before he left he carefully surveyed the entire area and there was nothing out of the ordinary. I saw him make eye contact with the captain of their guard and they both nodded at each other. I knelt down and started digging through the supply bags … after locating the vials I stuck a handful in my pocket. Then I moved to the box sitting on top of the meds container and pulled out a stack of patient diagnostic sheets."

"How long would you say Sergeant Rivers left you alone?" Dr. Weir asked gently.

"I'm not sure … everything happened so fast … it didn't seem long at all … I don't know," she stammered.

"Approximately four and a half minutes," Rivers answered.

"Did anything seem out of the ordinary when you left?"

"No ma'am … everything was quiet all day. The guards were fairly relaxed after we'd been there a couple of hours … I think they were as shocked as we were at the man's attack," Rivers explained.

"Jennifer … what happened next?" Weir requested.

"I stood up and saw movement but assumed it was Sergeant Sagers coming to take over his post at the supplies." Jennifer watched Ronon reach to the center of the table and pour her a glass of water before taking her hand again. She took a drink to calm her nerves and soothe her throat.

"Go on," Elizabeth prompted.

"I stood up and something hit me hard in the face knocking me back into the side of the building. I could hear him scream in my face "Murderer" … he hit me three or four more times as he continued to accuse me of killing his brother …" Jen paused, lost in the memories of screams mixed with spittle, her head being pounded into the building, blood running through her eyes … reaching up involuntarily she ran her hand over the fresh scar in her left eyebrow. Taking a moment she wondered why no one had tried to stop the man. Looking around the table she realized everyone was watching her, "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Take your time," Elizabeth encouraged.

"I'm sorry … everything happened so fast and I'm a bit fuzzy on some of it. I remember him choking me and my trying to get away, he was so strong and huge … a big man."

"Had you ever seen the man before? Did you know his brother?"

"No."

"His brother was killed during our SAR the first time on Manara," Sheppard added, growling at the memory.

"Did you know the brother?" the expedition leader asked confused.

"Educated guess," Sheppard hissed. "I thought we'd taken care of everyone at the time but he must have been hiding … if he was close enough he could have seen Jennifer's face."

Jennifer saw Elizabeth give John a nod of understanding and knew it was time to continue, "The man kept choking me until Major Lorne tackled him to the ground … he wouldn't let go of me so I went to the ground with him … at some point Evan pulled me free and shoved me behind his back then told me to run … run and find somewhere to hide. That's it … I stumbled around for a while, found somewhere to hide and then Ronon found me."

Jeff sat listening to her words and seething inside. This was worse than he thought … not only was she at the center of the current fiasco but it sounds like she had to be rescued before on the same planet … why did everyone rally around her … why couldn't they see her as clearly as he could?

"Sergeant Sagers … how long did it take you to get to the doctor?" Elizabeth asked, pulling the soldier out of his self-righteous thoughts.

"Ma'am, maybe two minutes … by the time I arrived Major Lorne had just thrown the man to the ground."

"Very well … at this time Sergeant Sagers and Sergeant Beyers you may both be excused unless you have something helpful to add," Elizabeth ordered.

"Actually, Dr. Weir, I'd like to be heard before leaving," Sagers asked, standing to address the group. He watched Abby rise to leave then hesitate when he requested to be heard. Good … now she would see how a real soldier doesn't back down or cater to the civilians on the expedition, he thought.

"Go ahead Sergeant."

"Dr. Weir … I believe it should be pointed out that this failed mission rests solely with the inexperience of Dr. Keller to perform on off world assignments," he stated boldly. Seeing objections begin to ruffle some feathers he put his had out to still their protests. "Please let me finish … I realize Jennifer and I have not gotten off to a very good start but this assessment has nothing to do with her personality shortcomings … I am speaking purely on a professional level."

Jennifer held tight to Ronon's hand squeezing it reassuringly … the last thing she wanted was Ronon beating him to a pulp before she found out how she ruined the mission.

"The whole mission fell apart when her interactions with the guard enraged him to violence … I'm not saying she deliberately provoked him but perhaps something was said that she doesn't remember. I realize civilians are useful to the expedition but they need to be under stricter authority to prevent this type of outcome. I don't believe her persona is conducive to off world interaction. Perhaps she would be best used here on Atlantis exclusively. I'm sure if you take a moment to think about it you'll realize her track record bears me out … she needs more supervision than it's worth," he explained, taking pleasure in the eloquent way he expressed himself.

Jennifer released Ronon's hand giving him permission to do whatever he wanted. She watched the warrior jump up, push his chair back roughly and lunge for the guy.

"Ronon," Sheppard shouted as the Satedan grabbed Jeff by his shirt and wound up ready to swing. "Stand down Chewy… that's an order."

Jennifer placed a hand on his arm silently asking him to step aside. Moving up next to Jeff she turned to seek permission from Sheppard who gladly gave her an approving nod, "Are you questioning my honesty because I have to say it sounds like it from your little speech," she began sarcastically holding her hand out to stop his reply. "First of all, you have no idea what I'm like … you don't know what things I've been through while in the Pegasus or what I'm capable of professionally. You look at me and see research assistant and the only woman who's ever turned you down since high school."

"I stand by my evaluation and everyone in this room knows I'm right," he added smugly.

"Things are different here in the Pegasus … bad things happen and no one's to blame … they just happen and you have to be able to move on. We take care of each other and it has nothing to do with protocol … by the way, where were you when I was having the life squeezed out of me … you were suppose to have my back?" she growled.

"What! You can't pin this on me. If you had obeyed orders you wouldn't have been on your own. I have far more experience than you and this never would have happened at the SGC or in the Milky Way. It sounds like you had to be rescued twice from this planet and I'm just suggesting that perhaps you'd be better suited to working on Atlantis. In fact, it would have been nice to know that you'd already caused a problem once on Manara before we took a team and went back," he growled, turning red from anger.

Jennifer felt a fresh stab of guilt for not telling Evan about her time spent on Manara during the storm. He was right … she should have spoken up. His remarks took the wind out of her sails and she just wanted to leave. "You haven't put in the time Sergeant … you don't belong here," she declared quietly.

"I've given you all the facts as I know them … I didn't talk to the man but I was probably responsible for his brother's death … maybe it's time to unseal the original report so something like this doesn't happen again," she said, addressing the expedition leader. If you'll excuse me I have work to do elsewhere," Jen announced to the room before turning to the exit.

Once the young doctor had left the room Sagers turned to the group hoping to save face, "Like I said … she's too soft to be in this expedition," he smirked taking his seat once again.

Sheppard nodded toward the doorway indicating to Ronon to go after her … make sure she was okay. There'd be plenty of time for the big guy to knock a little respect into the new recruit but right now Jennifer needed him.

"Sorry Sergeant but your powers of assessment are way off on this one. Dr. Keller was not responsible for what happened to her on the first trip to Manara … that failure falls squarely on my shoulders. Finding the courage to go back to that planet goes above and beyond … not many on this base would be willing to do that. She has proven herself to be a highly trained surgeon and a capable addition to any team having gained the trust of those who've had the privilege to work with her," Colonel Sheppard barked, growing more angry the longer he talked.

"On the other hand, you have yet to earn the right to have your opinion considered. You and Sergeant Beyers are both dismissed," he ordered. This wasn't over and he knew it was time to re-evaluate the Sergeant's usefulness to the expedition before the Daedalus returned. If he causes Keller to resign he would personally see to it that Ronon was allowed his five minutes alone with the man.

~000~

It had only taken Ronon a few minutes to find Jennifer. He knew she'd just want to get out of the city … get some fresh air and that's where he found her, walking out to the end of the east pier. Coming up behind her he said nothing as he put his arm around her and continued walking. When they got to the end of the pier he stopped and pulled her into his arms. They stood together for some time before he led her over to the end of the pier where they sat together dangling their legs over the edge. Ronon waited patiently giving her the silence she needed knowing she'd speak when she was ready… he was in no hurry.

Jennifer couldn't stop Jeff's words from rolling around over and over in her head. It was easy for her to discard all the hurtful personal things he'd said but on the important issue he was right … she should have told Woolsey or Evan about Manara. In hindsight she couldn't understand why she kept quiet.

"He's right … I should've said something," she said softly, leaning into his shoulder. "I should've trusted Evan … let him make the decision. This probably was my fault … at least no one got hurt but me," she sighed, feeling safe enough to cry a few tears of frustration.

"You were right … things are different here and you're not to blame for what happened."

"I'm not sure anything can help me get over this," she confessed sadly.

"Shuu… let me take care of you," he told her, pulling her closer, tucking her under his chin. "We take care of each other," he reminded her.

The two friends sat together until the cold drove them back inside the city. Ronon led her to his room and pulled her inside safely seating her on the couch while he put on a movie. Picking one of his favorites, Star Wars, he settled on the couch next to Jen pulling her close and placing a blanket on her lap.

Jennifer couldn't express how grateful she was for the goodness of this man who'd wormed his way into her heart. She couldn't imagine being alone tonight … left to her own thoughts. Desperately needing a good night's sleep she curled her feet up on the couch pressing in closer to her protector not even pretending to watch the movie. Moments later she felt Ronon wipe the last of her tears away as she fell soundly asleep.