A/N: Short chapter I wanted to get out tonight. More tomorrow night.

CHAPTER 11

Alex took Olivia's advice and went home. Noah had a play date with another kid and mom, so Alex decided to invite Casey over for dinner.

"So what's up, Alex? You didn't just invite me over for a social call. Listen, I'm really sorry about all of that stuff -" Alex cut Casey off.

"It's forgotten, Casey. That's not it at all. I was never angry at you. I mean, I may have been annoyed at your devious tricks, but it all worked out."

"So, you just invited me over for dinner?" Casey asked suspiciously.

"Well, yes and no. I just, I'm having a hard time adjusting," Alex admitted.

"Adjusting? To what? Being back with Liv?"

"Yes and no. It's all so much, so fast. I'm not sleeping at all," Alex said.

"Yeah, Liv has that effect on women," Casey teased assuming Alex meant sex.

"Ew, stop, Casey. No, not that. It's Noah," Alex looked down as she said.

"Ohhhh," Casey said suddenly realizing what Alex was getting at. "I guess that explains why you fell asleep in court."

"You heard that, too?!"

"Relax, Alex. It's normal," Casey said. "So, are you having second thoughts? I mean, you're no longer the most important person in Liv's life anymore."

"I'm okay with that. I mean, Noah is adorable, and I love him, but Liv is a mom, and being with Liv means at some point..."

"That you'll be Noah's mom, too, if you stay together?" Casey finished her sentence.

"Yeah. And I've never really thought about that. I mean, What if I'm horrible at it? I can't even deal with the lack of sleep from staying over there," Alex confessed. "I mean, you've met me. The SVU didn't call me the Ice Queen for nothing."

Casey snickered and thought about making a joke, but reconsidered.

"Listen, Alex. That was a long time ago. You are a different person. Olivia is a different person. She's a mother now. You're both older, more mature, and I think you've gotten softer with your age. But you need to talk to Liv about this, not me. Trust me on this, she does not need you in and out of her life like before, not with Noah. If you're there, you have to be there and fight to make it work."

"It's that a warning, Casey?" Alex smiled.

"Yeah, it is. Don't get me wrong, I want you all together, but I want Noah happy and safe more than anything. You affect Liv in ways no one else ever has, and that's not always been a good thing for either of you."

Alex nodded as they finished their dinner.

#

Can I bring over dinner tonight? We should talk. - Alex

Olivia looked at the text from Alex. Anytime Alex wanted to talk it made her nervous, but this time, she wasn't sure what to expect. She couldn't think of anything that could be wrong except Alex hadn't been sleeping because of...Oh crap, Noah! What if Alex doesn't want to be with her because she can't handle a toddler?

Obviously, for Olivia, it wasn't a question of what she would do. She was Noah's mother, and that was her top priority. It was a question of what to expect from their talk. She prepared herself for the worst, which was easy to do when it came to Alex.

"Where's Noah?" Alex asked when she arrived at Olivia's place with dinner.

"Oh, the neighbor across the hall took him tonight until bed. I thought it would be nice to have an uninterrupted dinner," Olivia smiled. "And, since you wanted to talk, I find it goes much easier when there isn't a toddler running around."

"Yeah, about that, Liv," Alex started. "I feel -" Olivia cut her off.

"It's okay, Alex. I get it. It's a big commitment being with someone with a kid, and a lot of people aren't ready for it. So, I completely understand if -" Alex stopped Olivia this time.

"Oh, God, no, Liv! No, that's not what I'm saying at all. I want to be with you, Noah and all. I told you that," Alex said, and Olivia breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, I'll admit that it's been an adjustment sleeping with a baby in the apartment. And watching my swear words, and shutting doors, and all the things that have to be toddler proofed. I'm just worried that I'm terrible at it, Liv. I don't know how to be a parent."

"Alex, you're great with kids. You've interviewed hundreds of kids," Olivia pointed out.

"Yes, but that's different, and you know it," Alex challenged. "I mean, if we stay together, and I hope we do, eventually I'll be responsible for Noah. And I've never been responsible for anyone other than myself my entire life, Liv."

"Alex, relax. It's not like I knew what I was doing. You figure it out," Olivia told her.

"Yeah, but you knew you wanted to have kids and be a mom," Alex said and then paused. "I'm not sure if I do, or at least, I've never thought much about it."

Olivia stopped for a moment. She hadn't considered whether or not Alex wanted to be a parent. She hadn't considered much, actually. She was asking Alex for a huge commitment and knew it wasn't entirely fair.

"Oh. Well, that certainly changes things," was all Olivia could say.