I was floating on nothingness. I felt weird and my brain tickled, trying to remember something. I stirred and found myself suddenly in one of Adrian Ivashkov's dreams. I shielded my eyes against the bright sunlight and it dimmed. Adrian.

He stepped out from the shadows and then I saw Lissa. I squealed and ran to her. We embraced each other tightly and I looked around. I was wearing a sleeveless shirt with cutoff shorts. For once, Adrian didn't….dress me up…

"Good to see you're still alive, Rose," he greeted.

Adrian was one of the Royals. He was an Ivashkov and boy did they have a reputation. He was another spirit user we had found on a trip once and he had followed us back to learn some more about spirit and to teach us what he knew. Including dream walking, which he was doing now.

Often, he would visit my dreams when I was asleep and choose any kind of scenery or clothes or anything he wanted since he controlled it. Sometimes, he thought it was funny to dress me up in few clothes and I would demand that he put more clothing on me sometimes.

"Of course I'm still alive. Why wouldn't I be? I'm just sleeping, right?" Then, suddenly, it all came back to me, memory flooding my head.

"Oh!" I gasped.

Adrian just waited. Lissa looked close to tears when she spoke. "Rose, you've been asleep for two days now. Dimitri's really worried about you. So is everyone else."

I blinked. "That fucking long?"

Adrian answered me. "Yes. Lissa and I decided to check up on you, see if you're still there. Of course, you're a fighter…." He didn't finish.

I sighed. "I don't know. I don't know how to wake up. My eyes feel like there are weights on them, my body hurts all over, and my head is just….hell…."

Lissa hugged me tighter, whispering, "Take your time. Heal. What doesn't get better, I will make better," she said fiercely.

It was then I remembered something. "The Strigoi," I recalled. "What happened to her?"

Adrian and Lissa exchanged looks. "Your guardian tried to kill her. She managed to get out somehow though," answered Adrian.

I let out a frustrated sound. "Damn her. She killed Dimitri and then she tried to fuck with me."

No one said anything else for a while. I sighed again. "Alright. I'm done. Maybe I can try to wake up somehow…"

The scenery dissolved and I was back in my own, familiar blackness. I struggled with my mind, trying hard to focus on my surroundings. Finally, I managed to get through the haze of complete, pitch black. I worked on keeping it that way so I could hear what was going on.

So far? I heard nothing, which either meant that I wasn't focused enough or no one was in the room talking. I kept my breathing even as I struggled next with opening my eyes. Damn it, come on, I begged them. Just a little harder…

There. I expected bright light, but instead was greeted with warm, dim lighting. I looked around without moving my head. Dimitri was sound asleep, one of his hands curled around mine. I carefully moved my fingers, testing them, yet not wanting to wake him up.

I studied him. His face wasn't relaxed and peaceful, for once. He looked like something was bothering him…

He stirred and then opened his eyes, squinting slightly. They widened when he saw that I was awake. He reached out with one hand and cradled my face. I leaned into his touch as he whispered, "Roza."

I loved the way my Russian name rolled off his tongue so naturally. I took one of my battered hands and pressed the hand on my face closer to me. Finally, he slid his hand away after a few moments. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, his expression growing mad.

Oh, crap. He was pissed; there was no doubt about that. He didn't raise his voice, but the concern was replaced by a kindling anger. I wanted to cower away from his fierce gaze, but couldn't go anywhere. His eyes held mine, hypnotizing almost as I lost myself in the depth of them.

"What were you thinking, Rose? You're lucky you weren't killed!" he exclaimed.

I moved my eyes and stared down at my hands, not meeting his stony look. "I had to do something. I hate feeling useless, like I can't protect the ones I love," I looked up as I said that.

His eyes still flashed. "That's no excuse to throw yourself in front of a Strigoi and pray to God you'll live."

I opened my mouth to reply back, but nothing came out. I clamped my lips together and looked away. My head hurt from his bombarding me all of a sudden with accusations and such, and I was aware of everything throbbing. I hated having him mad at me. I wanted so bad to prove myself to him, which was part of the reason I went after that bitch.

To my dismay, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Angrily, I tried to use a hand to brush them away, but the sharp movement yanked at my sore, aching muscles. This mad more tears spring to my eyes and I felt one slide down my face. I didn't bother to wipe that away and stared at anything but him.

A warm hand pulled my face around. I didn't resist, didn't look at him. "Rose," he murmured. "Don't cry. I'm not mad at you."

There was a pause. "Then what?" I whispered.

He sighed. "I'm worried about you. Your safety. I didn't mean to bite your head off."

He fingers moved to my face and gently wiped away my tears. At that soothing, familiar touch, everything I had been holding back came pouring out. Sobs wracked my body and Dimitri carefully moved so he could hold me. I buried my face his shoulder.

I knew why I was crying now. The thought of dying and never being able to enjoy life again hit me. Just like Dimitri dying. I was scared. The Strigoi had gotten away and she was more than likely to come back and definitely attack.

"It's alright, Roza," he breathed when I was down to shuddering breaths. "No one's going to die. You're not going to die, I don't let that happen. You don't have to be afraid."

For a little while, we stayed like that. I was curled up against him on the bed and his arms embraced me, making me feel safe and loved. I hated feeling all emotional and showing weakness in front of the person I wanted to stay strong for.

I didn't respond, but clutched him tighter, not wanting to let go…

"You're going to have to let go eventually," Dimitri suddenly said.

I jumped slightly and he gave me a wry look as my face heated up. "Sorry," I mumbled.

"There's nothing to be sorry about."

We were both silent for a little while until there was a soft knock on the door. Dimitri quickly got up and straightened himself up. I ran a hand over my eyes to make sure there were no more tears.

"You look fine, Rose," he murmured for my ears only.

When I was ready, he opened the door and Lissa bust in, followed by Adrian. Dimitri stepped out. Lissa came over and hugged me gently. Adrian stood off to the side, seeming unsure. I sighed and opened my arms for him. He smiled and stepped over, Lissa moving out of the way as I hugged Adrian briefly.

"Oh, Rose, I thought you'd never wake up!" Lissa exclaimed.

I shrugged. "I guess willpower really does work," I joked.

"You were just lucky this time," Adrian cut in.

"Yeah. I have Dimitri for that. He really is my guardian. Almost a guardian angel," I was feeling giddy all of a sudden, when Dimitri's thought entered my mind briefly.

Roza, you're feeling the effects of the medicine. Don't let it get to you, he warned me.

I took a breath, calming myself down. Lissa was biting her lip. Adrian was just looking at me. I decided to address Liss first since she seemed to be impatient.

"Alright, where do you have to go?"

She looked up guiltily. "Um, well Christian was going to visit you, but he decided that we'd probably wear you out…And I…have to meet…him…"

I waved her on. "Go ahead, I don't care."

She came over and embraced me once more before opening the door and leaving. I was silent, but Adrian spoke up: "Rose, tell me something. Guardian Belikov's going to be your guardian right?" My nod confirmed this. "Well, your aura says different."

"Wha..What?" I sputtered.

He shrugged. "Your aura says he's definitely more than your guardian…" he looked at me suggestively.

I glared at him. "How do you know it's true, huh? How do you know that from just my aura?" Even as I said the words, I knew that auras were pretty much almost always right, seeing as I could read them myself.

He seemed to know this. "You know how accurate they are. Your aura says you love him. Really love him. Rose, do you really love him, or do you just have a crush on him?"

I looked away, embarrassed. When I looked back at him, I knew my look said it all. He sighed and ran a hand through his styled hair. "Rose, answer me, please."

I knew there was no way out of this, and I couldn't avoid him. "I do love him," I whispered. "He loves me too. He's told me before. But, he says he can't focus on his personal life. HE has to focus on protecting me. And I accept that. But, Adrian, I really do love him! He knows me, understands me. He's been there almost my whole life since he's my Aunt Tasha's friend and he just…."I trailed off.

He looked sad, but also slightly angry at the same time. "If he's manipulating you…"

I shook my head vigorously. "No! Of course he wouldn't do that!"

Silence. Then: "Rose, you don't love him. You can't. You're going to be married off to a Royal who has enough Ozera blood to keep the bloodline going! I can even give you better than that! What if I said that I'm the one who requested to be tested to see if I could be the one and that I am? What if I said you were going to be married to me?" He looked desperate.

I slowly looked at him, eyes wide, not recognizing my own voice. "You lied. You lied to me and said that you had no idea who the person was. You said that he was from somewhere else. You never said it was you….You fucking bastard," my voice was cold, threatening.

Adrian tried to cut in. "Rose—"

"GET OUT!" I screamed at him,

He opened his mouth, but the door opened. Dimitri came in calmly. "I suggest you leave now, Mr. Ivashkov."

He barely spared a glance at Dimitri as he left, looking back mournfully at me. I sighed, feeling defeated and exhausted. My body was still bruised and battered, which meant that yelling at Adrian had taken a lot out of me. I looked over and found Dimitri eyeing me with concern.

"Rose," he started. "Rose, I heard everything. And I mean everything."

He rubbed his head. I looked up. "How?" I asked wearily.

"Somehow, the bond let me get inside your head where I experience just about everything you do…I got stuck in your mind," he sounded incredulous.

I was aghast. "No, way!"

"I'm sorry, Rose, but it was nothing I could control."

I didn't say anything, instead leaning back against the pillows. I looked over at him and patted the space next to me, inviting him. He didn't hesitate this time and slipped onto the bed, pulling me very gently to him.

"He lied," I whispered drowsily. "Adrian lied to me."

I could feel a growing anger in me, something I couldn't control…I wanted to go find Adrian now, I wanted to cause him pain, some kind of emotional or physical pain. I wanted to kill him. I burned with a desire to kill so strong that it left me briefly confused. Then it returned.

I was shaking. I moved away from Dimitri, but he grabbed me tighter, encasing me in his arms. Why wouldn't he let me go? Didn't he tell that I needed some freaking revenge? Adrian was using me. He claimed he was my friend, but what kind of friend was he when he told me that he was supposed to be the bastard he married me.

"Rose….Rose!" Dimitri was saying.

I looked up at him. "I need to find him. I need to show him how much he hurt me!"

Dimitri's tone was sharp. "Roza, that's not the right way. There's something dark overtaking you….The darkness…..Roza? Give it to me. It's not who you are," he murmured now.

I tried to find sense in his words, and finally, I realized that it was spirit's effects. Damn it. I didn't want to give it to him, but he was the only outlet. I focused on sending the horrible darkness to him to take care of. It left and I felt him briefly tense up, before relaxing.

Bad ending, yes. But it's the best I can do. It's the Fourth of July in the states…so yeah, fireworks time! xD I don't care for them…

SONGS:

Lithium-Evanescence.

Somewhere-Within Temptation

Chances-Five for Fighting

Haunted-Kelly Clarkson

Life on the Moon-David Cook