Hello all! It's chapter 11! Dun dada dun! Have fun I guess...
Do not be fooled by the deceptive nature of the title. Bill Clinton has little or nothing to do with this fic.
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"Hi guys!" Sasuke said, walking up to Gai and Sakura. He looked at Kakashi crying in the corner. "What's wrong with him?"
"I lost my cool!" Kakashi wailed. "You made me scream like a little girl!"
"S-Sasuke?" Sakura asked. The reason the three had screamed like little girls was that Sasuke was wearing make up, had his hair curled, was wearing a skirt, and was also wearing, over his skin...
"Oh my god." Sakura gasped, inspecting the people suit.
"Like it? It took me a while to finish it. Oh, and it's Serena now." Serena stated, spinning around so they could see the whole suit
"But Sasuk...err, Serena, why?" Kakashi asked.
"I wasn't comfortable with the skin I was in, so I took other peoples. They don't need it now though. I have always felt trapped in a mans body, and I'm beginning to remedy that."
"But Sasuke, you still have a...you know...right?" Sakura asked, glancing down at the mentioned area.
"Yeah, it's still there." Serena stated, almost sounding depressed.
Sakura let out a sigh of relief. Kakashi just gaped, and after a few minutes, Gai finally took action.
"Sasuke, trying to be the other sex isn't youthful at all. In fact, it's downright creepy. TIME FOR MAITO GAI'S SPECIAL ELDERLY EXORCISM TECHNIQUE!"
Gai grabbed 'Serena' by the shoulders and viciously began slapping 'her'.
"THE POWER OF YOUTH COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF YOUTH COMPELS YOU!"
"Oh my god! Sasuke!" Sakura shrieked.
"Gai, cut it out." Kakashi said, trying to regain his cool.
"OW! Hey stop! Ow! Can't you let me express who I am? Ow!"
Meanwhile, Naruto and Tenten were still running. They came to a fence, and lept it swiftly. Unfortunately for them, it was not a place they really wanted to be.
"Ow!" Naruto cried upon landing. He hopped up and down for a minute, and pulled the offending object out of his foot.
"Glass?" Tenten wondered. The sudden crash of Hinata running into the fence shocked them into action, and they ran deeper into the complex.
Hinata hopped the fence and glared into the maze of metal and wires that the two had foolishly dashed into. She also glanced at the sign. Training Ground 666: Land of fire, barbed wire and broken glass. She decided to go around.
"Well that was sure exciting!" Anko laughed, slapping Kiba on the back. They walked down main street, covered in burn marks. Anko was still quite naked, and Kiba was still only wearing boxer shorts.
"You are absolutely out of your mind, you know that?" Kiba glared.
"I am absolutely hungry, that's what I am. C'mon, lets get a bite to eat."
Anko dragged Kiba into a shoe store, and plopped him down on a seat.
"Oh boy, it's a buffet!" she said, and grabbed a knee high boot.
"Anko, that's a..."
Anko took a large bite out of the poor boot. She chewed for a few seconds, and cringed.
"Aw, this tastes terrible! Good lord! Boy, could you get the manager?"
Kiba decided telling her the truth was too much trouble, and grabbed the store owner.
"Sir, I'd like to make a complaint. This grinder is awful!" Anko munched.
"Ma'am, you're eating a boot." the owner informed her.
"That's what it tastes like! Yuck...oh well, might as well finish it! Like mother said, waste not want not! Here dog boy, you eat up too!"
Anko cheerily snatched a sandal, and before Kiba could object, shoved it in his mouth. Kiba groaned and turned to look outside. Standing outside were his mother and sister, mouths agape at the scene. Kiba's eyes went wide as his mother stormed in the store.
"Inuzuka Eugene Kiba! What do you think you are doing! Get that thing out of your mouth! I thought you had gotten over your shoe chewing habit!"
Kiba spat out the sandal and tried to explain himself.
"Mom, it's not what it looks like! Ya see, there was a whole lot of stuff today..."
"Ah, you must be dog boys mother!" Anko smiled, standing up and vigorously shaking Kiba's moms hand.
"Where's Akamaru?" Hana asked.
"And his lovely sister too! It's a pleasure." Anko bowed.
"What are you doing running around town in your drawers with this naked harlot?" Kiba's mom screeched. "You are coming home right this minute!"
"Wait, Mom!" Kiba whined. "I can explain!"
"Steal my icicles, will you Bill Clinton?" Anko growled. Everyone cocked an eyebrow in confusion.
"Anko, what are you..." Kiba began.
Anko smashed a stool over Kiba's moms back.
"YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY SON FROM ME!" Anko yelled, beating the inuzuka over the head.
"ANKO!" Kiba shouted. "I'M NOT YOUR SON!"
Hana tried to drag her mother away, while Kiba attempted to restrict Anko. Shizune was looking for some new sandals when she spotted the fray.
"The hell?" she wondered, and ran over to help out. With both Shizune and Kiba restraining Anko, Hana managed to get Ms. Inuzuka was out the door and out of danger. Once the threat to her 'son' was gone, Anko resumed eating her boot.
"Why would you do that?" Kiba and Shizune panted.
"Do what?" Anko asked. "Bleh, that's enough of this restaurant. Come dog boy and...erm...what's your name?"
Tonton popped over Shizune's shoulder and squealed.
"Pig girl! That will be your name henceforth! Come!" and Anko dragged the two out of the shoe store and into town.
At the gates of Konoha, Deidara, Sasori, and Zetsu walked in.
"So what does the boss want us to do again?" Sasori asked, shuffling along.
"Get his groceries. The base is running low." Zetsu answered.
Deidara looked around happily. New things were so cool! He'd never been in Konoha before. And he'd never been...
"Bowling! Lets go bowling Sasori-san!" Deidara jumped up and down, pointing to the bowling alley.
"I don't think that's such a good idea..." Sasori said, but was cut off by Zetsu.
"I think it's a fine idea. Celery and eggs can wait."
So Sasori gave up, and the three deadly ninja went to enjoy a game of candlepin bowling.
Meanwhile (there is a lot of scene skipping, isn't there?) Naruto and Tenten emerged from the ravages of training ground 666. The fire and barbed wire had removed the suits almost entirely, except for a few small pieces here and there. The two looked terrible. And the fact that they were both on the verge of indecency didn't help.
"Well that sucked." Naruto said, ripping off a small piece of suit on his arm. "Last time I run into anyplace without reading the damn sign."
Tenten sank to the ground and started to cry.
"Geez, don't cry Tenten!"
"But Naruto, look at what we've got! We'll never escape those guys! It's all just a big waste of time! And I still don't know my last name!"
"Hey, hey, it's okay! At least the suits are gone! And I'm sure we'll find your last name some day. I mean, Masashi Kishimoto can't ignore giving you a backround story forever, can he?"
"Thanks Naruto." Tenten sniffled, and gave him a hug. Unfortunately, Hinata rounded the corner at that exact moment. Upon seeing a nearly nude Tenten hugging her future husband, something in Hinata's already fragile brain snapped. She snuck up behind her, placed a hand on Tenten's head and chin, and twisted.
(Krik)
Tenten's body fell to the ground. Naruto stared in horror.
"Naruto-kun!" Hinata smiled, latching onto him.
"Y-you just killed her!"
"She doesn't mean anything to us." Hinata sighed, nuzzling her dream boy.
"You're a psycho!"
"Oh don't tease me, sweetie. Come on now, it's time for a romantic dinner!" she stated and dragged a shocked Naruto to go grab a bite to eat. Lee and Neji rounded the corner.
"There she is!" Lee pointed, and the two ran over.
"YOUTHFUL TENTEN! Neji and I would like to apologize for our recent actions. We realized forcing ourselves upon you was un-youthful." Lee mourned
"So Lee and I have decided to let you decide where we go to do youthful things!" Neji chirped.
"WHERE DO YOU WISH TO GO!" The two shouted in unison, eager grins plastered on their faces.
Tenten stirred and coughed up some blood.
"H-hospital..." she croaked.
"Silly Tenten! Hospitals are for old people!' Lee laughed. Then the rambunctious two dragged Tenten along. "I hear there's a carnival in town!"
"H-hospital..."
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That's it for chapter 11! Yes, the suits are gone. Except Neji's. And yes, Deidara, Sasori and Zetsu gain some relevance later in the story. On a side note, I don't know their characters that well, but I do know Deidara has a weird way of talking. I decided it was too troublesome and left it out.
Also, this may be the last chapter for a little while. The coming weeks will be very busy, so I may not have time to work on this. Thanks for reading, and please review!
P.S. Kiba's middle name is Eugene. It's the truth I tell ya!
P.P.S. Yes, the fact that Sasuke completed his people coat cements the fact that Konohamaru and his friends are dead. Skinned, and dead. Lets have a moment of silence.