Heyyy, another early chapter! And this one's a doozie... the longest so far, and full of time skips forwards and backwards.. hopefully it's not too hard to follow..! If it is, drop a review and if the response is overwhelming, I might revise it..
Speaking of reviews, thank you to Kri and Yinyang555 for the reviews! I can't reply to you in a PM [ I usually do to anyone who reviews ], but I really do appreciate the reviews, they brighten my day...!
A competition to commemorate our new friendship was a bad idea. If there was anything Killua loved more than chocolate, it was definitely winning. And if there was anything I hated more than perverted clowns, it was definitely losing. A race was bound to end in murder.
Gon had already vanished far ahead of us. His energy astounded me, but seeing how he was the only one who hadn't passed out today, it wasn't too surprising. Still. It pushed me forward and when the crowd of finished applicants came into sight, our efforts doubled. And we grew desperate.
"LET GO, you brat!" I shouted as he tugged at the back of my jacket. He scowled as we ran.
"Stop trying to trip me, loser!" He yelled, dragging me back. I staggered and growled.
"If you're gonna play that way I'm REALLY going to trip you!" I snapped, putting my foot in front of his and shoving on his shoulder. He pitched forward, letting go of my jacket. I grinned triumphantly, but his hands easily caught his fall and he sprung back onto his feet. He landed several feet ahead of me; the energy of my push had propelled him forward. I gaped in disbelief.
"Hah!" He laughed, flashing me a grin and a cheeky peace sign. I scowled as he stuck out his tongue. "Thanks for the boost, loser! See you at the finish line!"
I glared with all my heart, pushing my legs to run even faster, but it was no use. He was only a dozen feet ahead of me, but it was an insurmountable gap. We were too evenly matched.
Hah... as if.
"I'm not done yet, Fuffy!" I grinned, pulling out my pen. He eyed me over his shoulder. "You can't beat me that easily!"
Then I pulled out my journal and Fluffy seemed to realize the gravity of my words. As soon as he saw it, he spun around, skidding across the dirt to a stop; his hands coiled tight and ready for a fight. I smirked.
That's right. You have no idea what I'm capable of, Killua...
I scribbled quickly on the page as I sprinted at him. He crouched in anticipation, ready to dodge or strike, as I raised my pen above my head with a battle cry, his hands seemed to take the form of talons, and I grinned in victory. And then I ran right past him.
"Aaaahahahaha! Eat my DUST, loser!" I cackled, crumpling up the page from my journal and throwing it at over my shoulder as I ran. On that page, I'd written 'You stink'. My heart leapt with joy as I bounded for the finish line. But as the crowd came closer and closer, I heard an enraged cry. But it wasn't just any shout of frustration. It promised blood shed.
I hesitated to look over my shoulder, but knew that even if I didn't, my fate would be the same. The shadow of a demon swallowed me.
He tackled me to the ground and we fell in a tumbling, shouting mess. I yanked at his hair and he held down my shoulders.
"GET OFF OF ME YOU BASTARD!"
"YOU THINK I'D LET YOU WIN LIKE THAT?!"
"GAAAAAH, SOMEONE HELP ME!"
"YOU DON'T DESERVE HELP!"
A familiar voice made us freeze. "Killua! Clearian!"
I stopped shoving his face, and his hands stopped squeezing my neck as Gon ran towards us. His smile faded and he slowed his pace as he approached. "Uhh... what are you two doing?"
"Nothing, nothing!" I laughed nervously, patting Killua's cheek. "I was just making sure Hisoka's punch didn't break Killua's face..! Hahaha!"
"Yeah, yeah, and I was massaging Clearian's neck!" Killua nodded enthusiastically, rubbing my throat for emphasis. "He was saying it hurt, hahahaha!"
Gon frowned uncertainly as Killua squeezed too hard and we shared a brief glare.
"Well... as long as you two weren't fighting it's fine... you two are friends now, remember?" Gon reminded sternly. Killua and I nodded energetically, chatting stupidly as we helped each other stand up.
"Right, right!" "Of course, Gon! Why would we fight?" "Yeah, friends don't fight for real that's just silly!"
"Well, alright... then we better hurry! The exam is ending soon!"
"Right behind you, buddy!"
Gon led us to a tree where he'd been waiting for us, and under it slept Kurapika and Leorio. They still hadn't awoken and I was slightly startled to see them sleeping. I crouched beside them and tilted my head as Leorio twitched in his slumber. They look happier asleep.. I wonder what they're dreaming about...?
"So what happened before we got to you, Clearian?" Killua asked, arms crossed. Gon looked curious as well, resting his back against the tree and folding his arms behind him. I frowned, remembering the unsettling incident without relish. I shook the upsetting thoughts from my head.
"Uhh.. I'll tell you when these two wake up. Then we can all get filled in on what happened..." I said quietly, looking at their sleeping faces. Then, an idea crept into my head and I grinned an evil little grin. "Until then..."
I cackled quietly to myself as I lifted Kurapika's legs, draping them over Leorio's.
"... you're a real pervert, aren't you, Clearian.." Killua muttered.
I snickered quietly. "I'm the captain of this ship..."
Gon made a confused noise. "... what does that mean, Clearian?"
Killua sighed, putting a hand on Gon's shoulder and pulling him away. "Don't worry about it, Gon. You don't want to get into this warped guy's head."
"R-right..." Gon laughed weakly, forcing a smile as I rose triumphantly. Hands on my hips, I admired my work.
It took several minutes for them to stir.
When Leorio woke up, it was slowly and with difficulty. The world must have spun as if he'd drank too much booze the night before. Then, as his senses came to him, he realized there was a warm weight in his lap. And when he looked down, and a blonde was asleep in his arms.
His alarm was priceless. It warmed my heart.
"WHAT HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?"
"Magic." I grinned, feeling supreme satisfaction. Floating on a cloud, I had not a care in the world. "My ship has sailed..."
Then Kurapika woke up at all the noise, alarmed and fumbling, he tried to grasp his surroundings. "W-what?" Looking up, he saw Leorio staring at him with a grimace. And then Kurapika slapped him. "Unhand me, Leorio!"
"Hey, why did you hit me?! I'm innocent here!" He cried, holding his cheek as he shoved Kurapika away.
"Innocent?! Yeah right, you pervert..!" He sneered, holding his arms close to himself.
Gon and Killua came back then and Gon laughed nervously. "Hehe... calm down, guys.. Clearian was just playing a prank on you..."
"Gon, you traitor!" I gasped, betrayed.
"Clearian!" Leorio and Kurapika shouted, turning their anger on me. I jumped back, turning to run, but they sprang up and tackled me to the ground.
"Ugh! It's pay back for smelling me earlier!" I wailed. "Get off of meeee, I'm sooore!"
They grumbled but relented in their strangling grip. Kurapika stretched his arm painfully. "Come to think of it, I am, too..."
"Yeah, why does my head hurt so much...?" Leorio whined stupidly. I crossed my arms.
"I can't believe you don't remember..." I muttered sourly. "... I wish I didn't..."
"Hmm..." Gon said thoughtfully, plopping down next to us under the shade of the tree while Killua reclined coolly against the wood. "Clearian, you know what happened the most, don't you? Why don't you explain it to all of us?"
"Ehhhhh, but I'm no good at telling stories..." I complained. But under Gon's imploring stare, I couldn't resist. I sighed. "Fiiiine... I guess I have to... But you have to tell the parts that I don't know, okay Gon?"
He bobbed his head. "Right!"
The second exam was fun. Sliding down hills and hunting pigs was more fun than it ought to have been; Leorio, Killua and I all argued that our boars were bigger. But when Killua and I both burned our pigs, we started panicking. Obviously, the Gourmet Hunter Menchi disapproved of our dishes. When she did, I got monumentally pissed off. Infuriated, I slammed my hand on her table as she looked down on me snootily.
"Hey, we got the pigs didn't we?! That's the hunting part! Cooking isn't a part of being a hunter, we shouldn't be disqualified for this!"
"Wrong! I'm the Professional Hunter here, I decide who passes and who doesn't, and you all fail!"
Just as I was about to leap over the table and punch her in the face, an amazingly strong hand held me back. I froze and stared over my shoulder, gawking when I saw who it was. It was an old man. And judging his grip, I decided that he easily had the power to break a mountain. He smiled at me easily.
"Now, now, Menchi. This one speaks some truth." The old man said sounding more energetic than an old man should. I shrunk under his scrutiny, backing away to join Gon as he pulled me away. "Is it really fair to judge them based on this?"
Then Menchi's hard exterior crumbled immediately and she apologized. It made me uncomfortable for her to cave so quickly. But when she explained that an examinee had stung her pride, I understood.
It must be really upsetting for someone to laugh at your profession... for someone to laugh at the thing you care about the most in the world...
The next exam was at a different location after a ride in Netero's enormous blimp. When we arrived at the Second part of the Second Phase, it was on top of a strange mountain. Mount Split-In-Half was aptly named for the clean, straight, fifty-foot gap down its center. The wind whipped my hair as I stared into the deep, deep gash in the mountain. It went down impossibly far...
Our task was to gather Spider Eagle Eggs from the webs that were woven across the fifty-foot gap. Menchi accomplished the task with ease, leaping off the edge of the cliff and latching onto one of the thick ropes of webbing. She waited there, over the seemingly endless drop, with careless abandon. And after a minute or two, she let go, grabbing an egg as she fell. I stared, leaning over the edge with wonder, watching her plummet. Then, as a great gust came from the bottom of the canyon, she sailed with it, rising back up safely with the egg in hand.
I stared, amazed. Then, as I turned to look back at the canyon, the rock crumbled beneath my foot, and I slipped.
And cold crept into my chest. I reached for Kurapika's hand, and I saw Killua turning, his eyes wide, but suddenly both of them were gone, and I was falling. I froze up.
It was like all of those terrible nightmares, where you feel like you're falling, but worse. A terrible pain gripped my chest, and I tried to turn, to grab onto the web, but I wasn't ready to catch my weight, and I couldn't see the web coming, so my hand slipped, and I turned to face the ground as it rushed up at me, and my heart hurt in my chest, and I couldn't even scream.
A sudden noise startled me.
"You're soooooo BORING!" Leorio shouted. I stopped writing in my journal to scowl up at him.
It was night, and we were on the blimp, headed for the third exam. Kurapika, Leorio and I had chosen to stay in the same room and everyone was settling into their beds for the night. Kurapika had taken books from his bag and had been reading them, while I'd opted to write the day's events in my journal. It had been nice and quiet, and I hadn't had to talk to anyone, which I appreciated. That didn't seem an option anymore.
"Why are you two so into books?! Don't you want to do something, like play cards or something FUN?" Leorio ranted. He'd been sitting quietly, sharpening his knife for a while, so his sudden outburst made me jump. The word I'd been writing trailed off in an alarmed squiggle. I scowled at my ruined work before glaring up at him.
"You know, I'm sure Hisoka would love to play cards with you, Leorio." I said sharply, waving my pen lazily. "Why don't you ask him?"
He froze, grimacing and visibly paling at the thought. I grinned in satisfaction.
"Uh... I think I'll pass."
Kurapika chuckled and lifted a book. "Why don't you try reading too, Leorio?"
The older man scowled and grumbled. I raised a brow at him. "You do know how to read, right doctor Leorio?"
"Of course I can read!" Leorio said stoutly, snatching the book from Kurapika's hand. He yanked open the book, and raked his eyes fiercely across the page. Then he paused. And re-read a part. And reread it again. I snickered at his mounting frustration.
"Woooow, I'm impressed, Leorio. That's not an easy book." Kurapika said in a deadpan voice, regarding him aloofly. "And for you to begin reading Simulacra and Simulation from the middle is quite the feat."
"AAAAH, this makes NO SENSE!" He cried, flopping onto his back, holding the book above him. I rolled my eyes at the outburst. I resolutely capped my pen, sliding it into my short's pocket and tucked my book in my shirt. I'd taken my jacket off and hung it on the bed post, I decided to leave it there. He's so noisy... I'll never get anything done in here, now...
"Let me see, what part are you struggling with?" Kurapika chuckled crawling into Leorio's bed. I rubbed my temples and rose, unnoticed.
"ALL of this! What does this even mean?! Is that even a WORD!?"
As I closed the door behind me, I heard Kurapika laugh quietly.
"Yes, Leorio, veracity is a word..."
The hall was blessedly quiet. It wasn't empty, as applicants were still wandering around, but there was no shouting. I stuck my hands in my pockets and set out to look for a quiet place to write. As I walked, I let my mind wander.
I wonder where Gon and Killua are, now...? The last time I saw them, Gon went looking for Killua after he yelled at me... Then I paused in my walking. For that matter, where is Hisoka?
I glanced around apprehensively. There were no creepy clowns in the immediate vicinity, in fact, only a few people sat on the neighboring benches. But that did little to soothe me.
I'm not sure whether I want to address him about why he did what he did... or if I want to stay away from him.. he might want something in return... I shuddered at the thought. Regardless... I'm not going to go looking for him...
The blimp was well lit and welcoming. And that grated against my nerves.
All I wanted was cool, calm and quiet, so I could reflect on the day in peace. Outside, the night pressed close on glass that went all the way around the massive carriage. I wandered over to the window, kneeled on a bench and placed a hand on the cool, hard glass. The sea of endless, uninterrupted black was soothing.
The third phase of the Hunter Exam starts tomorrow... I'm nearly halfway through the exam... when this is all over, what's going to happen..? I guess I start my research on how to fix you, huh..?
I shook my head, setting aside my thoughts. There was too much darkness going on in my head. I needed a distraction. So from my shirt, I drew my journal and laid it on the window sill. I pulled my knees under me on the bench and resumed writing, crossing out the old, half finished paragraph and re-writing it.
The ground rushed up at me, and my heart stung in shock. The wind whipped through my hair and stole the breathe from my lungs.
Then I slowly stopped falling, and suddenly I was rising back up again, as if on a bungee cord. When I bounced back up, I righted myself, and found myself pinned against a muscular chest. I slowly looked up, and a crazed clown smiled down at me. And I honestly didn't mind that he held me with one arm, that I could feel his heart beat, that his heat and smell smothered me and that we were dangling a billion feet over a crevasse.
I was alive.
And I couldn't possibly care less about the means by which that had happened. I clutched his shirt in my hands despite knowing I was too stunned to hold my weight if he let go. He shook with laughter.
"You should be careful, Middle-Schooler-Chan..." He chuckled quietly. His breath played with my hair and tickled my cheek, but I was too numb to care. Too scared to even believe that I was alive. "I'm supposed to kill you, not save you."
Then a chorus of voices called my name, first sounding distant, then quickly approaching. And with a bounce of the webbing, my friends joined us on the line in dangling above a billion feet of open air. I didn't have the heart to offer them a smile.
The rest of the exam passed in a haze, in which I was too shocked to care about how I passed. I didn't even eat the egg that I'd almost died for.
Back on the ship, the guys had gone to find a room, but I'd opted out of going with them. I was alone, staring out one of the enormous walls of window when Gon hesitantly approached me.
"... are you okay, Clearian?" He asked, a bit of egg was still stuck to his cheek. I smiled slightly at that, beckoning him closer and rubbing the food away with a finger as he winced.
"Yeah... I'm just... in shock." I said quietly. Gon frowned.
"I'm sorry we couldn't help, Clearian! We-"
An irritating voice interrupted Gon and my smile faded.
"Don't apologize to him, Gon. Clearian needs to get over it." Killua drawled loudly. Gon turned as he approached and I glared over his shoulder at the white haired boy. Killua's arms were laced behind his head and his eyes were shut. "You aren't really moping about that fall, are you?"
I glared murder at him, clenching my fists when he returned the glare. "I nearly died, Killua."
"Yeah, and you nearly died a hundred other times today. Did that fall really bother you that much?"
"Yes! Because I was helpless to stop it!"
"Yeah, because you were dumb enough to fall in the first place! Get. Over. It."
"What?! It wasn't my fault!"
Gon had to physically hold us apart to keep us from butting heads. "Guys! We're friends! Stop fighting like this!"
"You keep having to be rescued! And this time it was by that insane clown!" Killua shouted, deftly moving Gon aside and quickly snatching my jacket by the collar. I was furious that he would handle Gon that way but was too empty to fight him. He yanked me close. "If he hadn't chosen to save you, we would both be dead.
"So I don't care if it wasn't your 'fault'. I care about my life. And the fact that you keep putting it in jeopardy." He said with distaste, shoving me away. I stumbled and fell, glaring up at him hollowly. He turned, walking away with a final glower. "So you'd better get your act together. I don't have the strength to pass this exam for you."
"Killua! You can't talk to Clearian that way!" Gon exclaimed, but Killua waved him away dismissively. "We're supposed to be friends!"
"No we aren't. I don't need weak friends, Gon."
I stopped writing. The painful memory made me pause.
"Shouldn't you be with your friend?" A creepy voice asked.
I jumped and glared over my shoulder. I didn't hear him approach, but a tall figure stood against a nearby wall, crossing their arms. It was someone familiar, and deeply unpleasant. Hisoka's needle companion stood behind me, twitching grossly, watching me as I wrote. Glancing to the side, I realized that everyone else in the hall had vanished.
"Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend?" I sneered. His head tilted to the side with the creepy jerky movements of a wind up doll. My stomach churned.
"Do you mean Hisoka?" His voice was strange, like it was diluted and warped by a filter. He sounded extraterrestrial.
I snorted and returned to my writing. "The clown pervert himself..."
"Hisoka and I do not share an intimate relationship."
"... but I ship it." I muttered.
"You what?" He said. I rolled my eyes and put down my pen.
"Don't worry about it." I said, turning to glare at him. "What do you want, pin head? I don't have the patience to entertain you right now."
"I wanted to tell you that I'm not your enemy."
Still glaring, I pursed my lips. "Somehow I find that hard to believe."
"I mean it." He said. His garbled, strange voice made it impossible to discern honesty. I gave up with a scoff, turning away to resume my writing. "When Hisoka made his proposition to you, I was angered. Do you remember my aura from then? I nearly killed him."
I paused. Reluctantly, I considered that. Yeah... his aura did flare that time... but I thought he was trying to hurt us... "... hah, right..."
"Believe me or not, it wasn't Hisoka who wanted to save you today." He said, and though I couldn't hear his footfalls, his fading voice told me he was walking away. "He isn't the one who is your ally."
When I looked over my shoulder, he was gone. I frowned bitterly, watching the empty hall.
Finally, I closed my journal with an annoyed sound. Stowing my journal in my shirt, I shoved my hands and pen in my pockets. Having lost my train of thought, I decided to wander the ship until I felt better. The strange conversation and the events of the day had left a bad taste in my mouth.
The memories that I hadn't written down plagued me. But worse were other thoughts that forced their way to the surface.
…. when you wake up, will you thank me...? Will we go back to being best friends, and play school, pretending none of this ever happened...? Or will you go back to him...
A familiar sound drew me from my thoughts. It was Killua's voice. It was muffled, but recognizable. He was shouting something. There was a door to my left with circular windows; it was the only one in sight. I peeked through it.
Surely enough, Killua was there and unsurprisingly, so was Gon. He was sitting on the ground, saying something back to Killua, innocently scratching his head. Killua just sighed in exasperation.
I was torn, unsure if I should hate Killua for being a jerk, or be glad that the two of them still got along. Despite the turmoil in my heart, I smiled; it was a cute scene regardless of my bitterness. Then I noticed the old man from earlier today was in the room as well. He was in a strange position; standing on one leg, and holding a medium sized ball in one hand. When Gon dove for him, I realized what they were doing; they must have been playing a game.
Watching Gon move was as impressive as it always was; he was so energetic and determined. Killua on the other hand was frustrated, but... I'd seen him move faster against Hisoka. I frowned, wondering why he was holding back. At that moment, I remembered what Gon had said in the forest and frowned.
… of course he cares for you... didn't you see how hard he was fighting?
Then, Killua suddenly turned towards me. Ack, I'm caught! My heart skipped, but his eyes were closed and he was scowling. He waved dismissively to Gon, and marched towards me and the door I was looking through.
As fast as I could, I ducked and crept away as quickly and stealthily as I could. But before I could sneak around the corner, the door opened. I froze, sweating coldly.
"Huuuuh? Clearian, what are you doing here?" Killua called down the hall, sounding irritable. I grimaced. Damn it.
I turned, refusing to meet his eyes. "Hmph... I was trying to find a quiet place to write, but you guys are too noisy..."
When I glanced up at him, his eyes were half lidded and irritable. "Hmph. You and your stupid diary. Well, good luck... You're not going to find quiet around here; Gon's going to be trying to get a ball from that old man forever. That guy's unbeatable."
"Hm. What are you gonna do, then?" I asked, shifting awkwardly.
"Dunno... I guess I'll wander around, for now..."
"Well... just remember that we're sticking together starting tomorrow." I said firmly, clenching my fists. He glanced at me dismissively. "Even if you hate me, even if I'm weak... I don't want to get in trouble from Hisoka again because you don't want to work with me."
He rolled his eyes, turning away.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stick together, yadda, yadda. As long as Gon's there too, I guess it's fine..." He waved lazily and walked the other way. Part of me was glad that he didn't want to be around me; I really didn't want any company. The other part realized that he didn't even want to be around Gon. And that scared me.
Then my eyes widened in realization. He... he's leaking killer intent... I took a step towards him. "Hey, are you okay, Killua?"
He paused. "I'll be fine. I just need to be alone for now."
And with that I watched him walk away. With a sinking feeling in my gut. I shrugged, turning away.
I don't care if he wants to be alone for now... he doesn't seem as angry at me anymore.. and if he's agreed to work together during the actual exam, that's a step forward...
But still, as I wandered, the cold persisted and crept through me. Who cares if he obviously prefers Gon... it's not like I took this exam to make friends... As long as we stick together and pass this exam, nothing else matters... When we get out of this stupid thing, I'll never see him again. Because I'll have you... right?
When finally I came to a stop, there was a door before me, and I realized where my wanderings had taken me. I was back to the room where I'd left Kurapika and Leorio. But they were no longer shouting and arguing; I couldn't hear anything but silence from behind the door. I opened it, finding darkness waiting inside. My eyes adjusted, and the sounds of slow breathing made me realize how tired I was. I closed the door as quietly as I could. With a stretch I yawned, and took out my journal. Sitting on the floor and leaning against the door, I quickly finishing my journal entry for the day.
Gon and I were frozen in place as Killua walked away. I was too numb to think, let alone move.
Then, after what seemed like a painfully cold eternity, Gon turned to me. And his lip wobbled pitifully. Seeing him so hopelessly sad, I couldn't help but smile encouragingly up at him as he wailed and flopped down to hug me.
"... I'm sorry, Clearian! Killua's being so mean..." He whimpered. I slid up into a sitting position and patted him on the back.
"Hahaha.. I-it's not your fault, Gon..." I said, laughing weakly. "K-Killua and I just don't get along well, we-we can't help it...!"
Gon's eyes shone bright with tears and he grimaced grossly. "B-b-but! We're supposed to be f-friends! I don't get why you two can't just be friends...!"
My mind raced and I fumbled at the sight of a crying kid. "Uhhhh...! Killua and I.. we.. we're just too alike, you know? Weee... we've both got dark humor and we wanna be the coolest and strongest and stuff, but... opposites attract, you know? We can't all be alike, or it doesn't work out!"
Gon rubbed his eyes, sniffling. "... like yin and yang?"
"Y-yeah! Just like Yin and Yang! If there isn't a balance, then there can't be peace!"
Gon looked down soberly, pouting. "... I guess that's true... but still..."
I looked up thoughtfully. "Hmmm... it could also be that he's just stressed out... he wants to pass this exam as much as I do... and I keep almost failing, and getting us killed..."
Gon nodded at that, brightening. "Oh, so there is hope, then? Once we pass this exam, we can all get along!"
I laughed awkwardly, looking aside and giving him a twitching grin. "... yeaaaaah... suuuuuure..."
"So he was just freaking out because he's scared that you're gonna die! Wow, he must really care about you!"
I was too tired to argue with him, and he was too happy about his solution that I just shook my head and agreed.
"... whatever you say, Gon-Kun... whatever you say."