The next morning, Akane was still in a good mood from the flight she had with Ranma back from Ryoga's house. She couldn't remember the last time she felt so excited by something. She was already imagining future rides where Ranma moved more like a roller coaaster, with loops included.
"I oughta do something for him today." Akane mumbled to herself as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. "I know. I'll cook him something."
Ch. 11 Oni Weirdness
Kasumi was already in the kitchen getting breakfast started when Akane came down. "Good morning Akane. You're up early for a weekend."
"Yeah, I wanted to make something for Ranma." The younger Tendo said.
Kasumi momentarily froze, for reasons that didn't need to be explained. "You sure about that, Akane?"
"I can cook, sis. And I'm sure he'll like it."
Kasumi sighed and continued on her business. 'There's no way I can stop her. But... maybe I shouldn't try to. If she's trying to please Ranma, maybe this time it will finally be decent at least. Besides, the fact that she's actually cooking for him already is kind of sweet. Still, I better keep an eye on what she uses and how.'
Soon the sounds of Ranma and Genma in their morning spar were heard out back, quickly becoming a familiar sound in the morning. But unfortunately for Nabiki not so familiar that she could ignore it and keep sleeping. 'Dammit, I gotta buy some earplugs. Today.' She grumpily thought while she pulled the covers over her head in a futile effort to go back to sleep.
Soun came down and begged for some coffee. Kasumi already had a pot made for him and Nabiki, since neither were morning people and Soun often needed to be sobered up some nights. With Genma around, those nights were becoming a little more frequent. Soun sat down at the table, had a sip, then looked in the kitchen to see that Akane was doing something in there. Naturally, he panicked. "Kasumi, please tell me Akane isn't..."
"She's not, Father. Not for you anyway. She's trying to make something for Ranma, as a way to be nice." Kasumi quickly soothed him.
The Soun Waterworks immediately started working as if activated by a switch. "Oh that's great. She must be taking the engagement seriously. Perhaps we should get started on planning the wedding."
Kasumi shook her head slowly. "No Father, now's not the time. She and Ranma still need to get to know each other better." She then leaned in closer to whisper. "Besides, shouldn't Ranma know what to expect from Akane's cooking before you try that?"
"You do have a point." Soun whispered back. 'I just pray it won't ruin their chances.'
After a bit, Nabiki came downstairs and moaned like a zombie for coffee, which was already available. Kasumi went back into the kitchen to finish breakfast and keep eye on Akane's creation. So far it at least looked normal. Meanwhile, Soun, had something to say to his middle daughter. "Nabiki, don't panic or laugh, but right now Akane is cooking something for Ranma."
Nabiki's eyes widened and she spit out her coffee all over her father, making him almost look like he just bathed in mud. She coughed for a few moments, then looked semi-apologetic towards him. "Don't say things like that when I'm drinking." Soun said nothing, just went into the kitchen for a paper towel. Nabiki looked out back to see the sparring Saotomes, feeling a moment of sympathy for the agony Ranma was about to go thru. 'Sorry buddy, but this I gotta see.'
In no time breakfast was done and Kasumi called Ranma and Genma inside. As expected the two got wet during their match and changed. Not bothering to change back, they simply sat down and awaited their food. Akane personally brought in one plate and placed in in front of Ranma. She was a bit confused why Akane did that, and why all the other Tendo's gave her such looks.
"Ranma, Akane was nice enough to make this for you. I hope you find it satisfactory." Kasumi told him.
"Really? Thanks Akane." Ranma said as she picked up her set of chopsticks. The meal wasn't anything terrific, just some rice topped with leftover shrimp from last night covered in sauce and some miso soup on the side. It looked completely normal, and yet all of Akane's relatives looked at it like it was radioactive. Ranma didn't notice that all eyes were on her, except for Genma's because he was already wolfing down his own meal. He was specifically seated away from Ranma so he wouldn't try to snatch his son's food this time, mostly for his own well-being. Ranma grabbed a piece of sauce-covered shrimp with some rice and placed it in her mouth and started chewing. After a few chews, she stopped and her eyes widened considerably.
'Here it comes.' All Tendos except Akane thought in anticipation and dread, only one of them actually trying to enjoy this.
'I hope he likes it. I really tried my hardest this time.' Akane herself cautiously thought.
Ranma looked down at her plate, then back to Akane. "This is delicious! Datcha!"
"What?" Soun, Nabiki, and Kasumi all but shouted, with Nabiki being the loudest. Soun facefaulted and Nabiki came close to, but Kasumi showed no such reaction.
"Really? You like it?" Akane happily asked.
Ranma didn't answer; she was now too busy shoveling the rest of the food into her mouth. After a bit she slowed down to avoid choking. "I swear this is the best thing I've ever eaten in my life-tcha. Please tell me you made more!"
Akane was so happy right now that if Ranma had been a boy she most likely would have kissed him right then and there. So she settled for hugging the oni again. "Thank you so much. And yes there actually is a little more left if you'd like it."
"Hell yeah!"
Nabiki leaned in to whisper to Kasumi. "Something is seriously wrong here." Kasumi couldn't help but nod.
At seeing how much Ranma enjoyed his meal, Genma naturally decided to take some of it for himself. He managed to snatch some of the rice and a small piece of shrimp and eat it before Ranma could stop him. Next thing he knew, the tiger-cow started gagging and fell on the floor clutching his stomach.
"Hey what's wrong with ya Pop?" Ranma asked, still unable to pull herself away from her meal.
"Hmm... I wonder." Nabiki said softly before carefully reaching to get a small bit of Ranma's rice for herself. She hadn't deliberately tasted anything Akane made in years, and still didn't want to, but was curious about what was going on. She tasted it, and grimaced. "Yuck. Disgusting."
"Whaddya mean Nabiki? This stuff's great-tcha." Ranma countered.
"Kasumi, go get some hot water. I've got a theory here." Nabiki told her older sister. Kasumi complied and soon Ranma was turned back into a boy. Akane brought him his second serving at the same time, even adding in a pickled plum as a small treat. "Now try it Ranma-baby."
Ranma eagerly dug in, but quickly found the flavor was different this time. And in a bad way, a very, very bad way. He spat it out, heedless of any table manners as usual. "Agh! That was the worst thing I've ever eaten."
Akane looked crestfallen. Nabiki however used her glass of drinking water to turn Ranma back into an oni. "Try it now. I think I've got this figured out."
Ranma cautiously took another bite, and was surprised. "Hey, it's good again. What gives?"
"Just as I thought." Nabiki said. "Apparently Akane's cooking tastes good only to your cursed form." She turned to face her younger sister. "I always did feel your food wasn't fit for human consumption, but apparently oni's like it." Akane burst into tears and ran upstairs.
"Akane?" Ranma asked, then turned to the other Tendo's. "What's that about?"
"Let me explain, Ranma." Kasumi started. "You see, Akane's not exactly the best cook in the world."
"Not the best? She can't even make a peanut butter sandwich taste decent." Nabiki commented.
"Anyway, she tries her hardest, but for some reason everything she makes turns out to be... well, terrible. No one has ever liked anything she's made, until now. What Nabiki said pretty much struck a nerve with her."
Nabiki didn't look remorseful. "It's nothing she hasn't heard before."
Ranma stood up slowly, holding her plate. "I better go talk to her for a bit-tcha." She flew upstairs rather than walked. Kasumi and Nabiki went back to their own breakfast while Soun tried to help his friend recover.
Akane was sitting at her desk crying and looking out the window. A knock at her door did nothing to catch her attention. "Akane? Can I come in?" Ranma asked, but Akane didn't answer. Ranma knocked again, and still she ignored her fiancee. Not out of spite, but sorrow. She didn't want Ranma to see her as some sort of crybaby at her age.
Problem was, in a way, that was exactly what Akane was. Akane was the sort of person who took everything personally, only instead of balling her eyes out like her father did, Akane's usual manner of temper tantrum was to beat the crap out of the one that pissed her off. But she couldn't do that to Nabiki, so she only really had crying as an option.
After she wiped most of her tears away, Akane got up and opened her door. There in front of her was a hovering oni Ranma still holding the breakfast she made for him/her. "What do you want?"
"I'd like ya to not be upset, but not sure how to help you-tcha."
"I'm fine." Akane lied.
"Sure. Your eyes are always red and puffy when you're fine." Ranma sarcastically replied. Akane frowned. "Look, you made me something hoping I'd like it. And I do-tcha. So why are you so sad about it?"
Akane sighed and hung her head. "Nabiki... kind of crossed a line for me. I hate it when people tell me my food tastes bad, but she actually rubbed it in this time. That was really mean of her."
"Want me to zap her?"
"Not now. How about a raincheck on that?" Akane weakly joked. Then she noticed her fiancee still had some food with you. "Why'd you bring that?"
"I told you, it's the best thing I've ever eaten, even if I have to be a girl for it to taste good-tcha. And I didn't want anyone to throw it out before I was done." Ranma answered.
Akane smiled. "Thanks, that means a lot to me. And someday I swear I'll be able to make something that you can enjoy as a boy too."
Ranma smiled, and kept eating everything but the pickled plum. She tended to save things like that for last, if Genma didn't get to it first. "Wanna go back downstairs now?" Akane nodded. When the two reentered the eating room, Ranma went into the kitchen and put the plate with the other dirty dishes. Then she ate the pickled plum she had been carrying. All of a sudden, Ranma seemed to lose her balance and fall over.
"Ranma?" Kasumi asked and went up to see her since she was the closest.
"What's wrong?" Akane asked, quickly sticking her head into the kitchen.
"Ranma fell down." Kasumi said as she lifted the oni girl up.
Akane arched an eyebrow. "Wasn't she flying though?"
Ranma then got herself up and looked at the two Tendo's. However, she looked somewhat sleepy with her eyes not fully opened and a hot blush was across her cheeks. "Hey what's going on here?" She asked in a nonserious, slurring way.
"Ranma, are you alright?" Kasumi asked.
"Yeah 'hic' never better-tcha. I feel reeeeeally good." Ranma starting hovering in the air.
Kasumi and Akane shared a look. There was no need to ask what was going on; they had seen this in their father many, many times over their lives. They didn't know how, but somehow Ranma was currently drunk.
"Did you give her any sake?" Akane asked.
"No. I didn't even see her drink anything. All I did see was her eat a single pickled plum." Kasumi answered.
"Wait, you think that might be it?" Akane asked, finding it hard to believe.
"It's possible." Kasumi stated. 'If Ranma's oni form can find your food edible, who knows how other foods affect it.'
"Is anyone else cold?" Ranma asked while she started to lightly shiver.
"It's winter, and you're in a bikini. What do you expect?" Akane responded. "C'mon, I'll get you something warm." Akane took, or more like led, Ranma to the furo. For some reason, the idea of simply grabbing a coat didn't cross her mind.
Once in the furo, Akane was surprised to see Soun was already in the room. No he wasn't naked, but he was shirtless and about to remove his pants. Before Akane could see something she really, really didn't want to see, she slammed the door shut and began panting in a panic. "I really need to get in the habit of knocking first."
"Akane, did you need something?" Soun asked his daughter thru the door.
"Ranma just needs to warm up Dad. Can he share with you?" Akane asked. 'It should be okay. Ranma will be a boy again as soon as he gets in the water. And Dad should know a few things on how to soothe drunks by now.'
"I suppose, if he's going to be quick about it." The Tendo patriarch answered.
"Okay Ranma go in." Akane told the floating girl.
"But I dawn't need a bath." Ranma complained.
"Just do it." Akane added with a light glare.
"Fine." Ranma sighed then flew into the room and dropped herself into the tub, never bothering to remove her clothes. She even completely submerged herself for some drunken reason. When she, now he, came up for air, he held his head like he had a hangover. "Agh, my head."
"Something wrong son?" Soun asked.
"I don't know." He answered as he stood up. "My head hurts and I feel sick."
"Like a migraine or a hangover?"
Ranma shook his head, then gagged on the urge to vomit. "Dunno. Never had either."
"You better go lay down, and get into dry clothes." Soun suggested. Ranma weakly replied that he would.
When Ranma stepped out, Akane was standing there with a towel and a worried expression. "Feeling any better now Ranma?"
He nodded, but didn't look it. "Got any aspirin or anything? My head's killing me."
"I'll ask Kasumi. Dry off while I get you some new clothes." Akane told him as she offered him the towel then left the room. "You don't feel sick to your stomach do you?"
Ranma almost stumbled. "Actually, now that you mention it, I kinda do."
'Yep, definitely a hangover.' Akane thought. "Go to the toilet just in case, and then lay down in your room. I'll check on you in just a bit." She then left the room to go get the hangover treatments they kept for Soun.
When Akane got some pills to relieve the tension, she brought them up to Ranma's room and just walked in. Before her was the sight of Ranma in only his boxers, wet clothes on a rope to dry, passed out on his futon on his back. She blushed, then set the bottle of medicine down on a nightstand and pulled his blanket over him before walking out.
'That sure was awkward, walking in on a boy barely dressed.' Akane quickly thought once she was in the hallway. 'I guess it could have been worse, like if I walked in on him completely naked. Or maybe even in the furo when I would probably be naked too. Can't imagine what I'd do if that happpened to Ranma and me.'
Later that same day Ranma and Akane were out walking to try and get Ranma some fresh air. He was still recovering from his hangover, but luckily it was fading.
"So yer telling me that a pickled plum made me drunk?" Ranma asked, not really buying it.
"You didn't drink any alcohol did you? What other explanation is there?"
Ranma shrugged. "So no more of those for me then."
"Just your oni form actually." Akane pointed out. "And even so, turning you back into your male human form appears to have cancelled out the drunkenness."
"Why does anyone get drunk if hangovers feel like that anyway?" Ranma asked.
Akane shrugged. "No idea."
Just then, the old woman with the ladle came out to wash her sidewalk and without realizing it hit Ranma. At least he had been wearing a coat which didn't change, so his cursed form wasn't fully exposed in public. Still, bikini's were not good things to wear in the beginning of winter. "Brrr... why did she have to do that? Can't she use a broom or something?"
"Let's go see Dr. Tofu then." Akane suggested. "By the way, you still feel normal right?"
"I'm cold, but normal-tcha. Why?"
"Just wondered for a sec if changing back would make you drunk or not." Akane answered.
On the route to Tofu' clinic someone jumped in front of both girls and made a crater in the ground. This someone turned out to be a Chinese woman with long purple hair, silk clothes that looked quite enticing, and with a bonbori in each hand.
"Ranma. I find you."