Before I ramble about this chapter, I just want to get something out there: My apologies to anyone and everyone who has ever felt like I think I am full of myself, arrogant, or just overproud or whatnot. Like, if I came off as sounding that way to anybody, my absolute sincerest apologies, like, forever. For the record, I don't mean to sound arrogant if I do, and it is utterly unintentional.
Now, moving on. I went back and read my author's note for the last chapter, and I must confess that I kind of lied a bit. I said that this chapter would have the spectacular empty chair scene in it, but I sadly did not end up reaching it while writing this chapter. So it'll be in the next one (I hope), okay?
Oh, and just a little reminder: ELLIE IS IN THE SAME GRADE AS DARCY FOR THIS FANFIC.
"We are now going to blindfold you one by one and lead you to the van," Spirit Bear explained, "and then we will transport you to the location where your outdoor solo quests will take place."
While the rest of the group sat on the first section of Degrassi steps and listened to Spirit Bear's instructions, Darcy sat away from them, on the second section, barely aware of her surroundings. She could still hear Johnny's voice in her head, mocking her for being the pathetic tease that she was, and though her eyes were staring at the cement ground all she saw was the look on Peter's face when Johnny had boasted about his encounter with her. Her legs were folded, her chin resting on her knees and her arms wrapped around her shins, a position she had found herself taking up constantly, sometimes without even realizing it.
She had come out of the bathroom on her own terms, and though she had been relieved when Spirit Bear hadn't tried to talk to her, her insides boiled with anger and humility every time Johnny managed to make eye contact with her.
Darcy was so lost in her own mind that she didn't notice when Spirit Bear grabbed her bag, which was lying on the steps next to her. She was jolted out of her thoughts, however, when Link pulled her up by her upper arm. She was too exhausted to protest.
But then the blindfold went on. Darcy immediately froze, a lump rising in her throat.
"Wh-what's going on?" she asked shakily. She knew her voice was thick with the tone of approaching tears.
"I already explained everything, Phoenix," Spirit Bear replied patiently from beside her, using the name that Darcy had randomly chosen at the beginning of the program to be her "rebirth name".
Darcy took a deep, shaky breath and exhaled slowly, trying to calm herself down, and clenched her hands into tight fists. She could do this.
She was taking another deep breath when Link gripped her shoulders and began pushing her forward. Her breath caught.
She tried to open her eyes as the stranger guided her through the house, his fingers clutching tightly onto her shoulders…
Darcy's hands flew to her face, struggling with the blindfold before ripping it off.
"Let go of me!" she shrieked, then wrenched herself out of Link's grasp. She bolted up the steps and through the Degrassi doors, not caring that she could feel the stares of the others or that she could hear Spirit Bear following her. She turned the first corner in the hallway and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down until she was seated on the tile. Her knees went up again, one set of fingers pushing her hair back as she tried to drive away the building moisture in her eyes.
"Would you like to talk about what just happened?"
Darcy looked up with red, shiny eyes. Spirit Bear was sitting cross-legged in front of her, hands folded in her lap and a calm expression on her face.
Darcy tried to speak, but she couldn't find the words. Instead, she just shook her head. She wished Spirit Bear would leave her alone, though she knew that was never going to happen.
"It's not healthy to keep all of your feelings bottled up inside you," Spirit Bear continued quietly, not ready to give up. "Let them out, Phoenix. Set them free."
Darcy let out a small laugh that sounded more like a cough. She tried to dry her slightly damp face with her sleeve. "I don't even talk to my own parents. Why would I talk to you?"
Spirit Bear still seemed undeterred. "Sometimes it's easier to talk to someone you don't know, someone who has no expectations of you and won't be angry with you if you tell them your problems."
Darcy hated the part of herself that agreed with Spirit Bear. She folded her arms atop her knees and rested the side of her face on the top arm, so she wouldn't have to look at the counselor. "And what if I don't want to talk?" It was supposed to be a question, but it came out flat and unemotional.
"Then I can't help you."
Darcy, surprised at Spirit Bear's response, found herself looking up at the counselor again.
"However," Spirit Bear suddenly continued, "I don't think you're being truthful with yourself when you say that. I believe that, given the right opportunity, you would be relieved to talk about everything that's happened to bring you here." She paused for a moment. "It might surprise you, but the best way to heal is to get everything off your chest."
Darcy said nothing.
After a long period of silence, Spirit Bear finally spoke again. "The van will be waiting for you when you're ready. We aren't going to leave without you." She rose from the floor and calmly exited the school, her usual neutral expression on her face.
Ten minutes later Darcy was outside again, the blindfold replaced. She concentrated only on breathing in and out, on slowing down her racing pulse. She braced herself for the hands that were surely going to grip her shoulders at any second.
When she instead felt Spirit Bear gently place a hand on her back, she still flinched at the unexpected touch but found herself relaxing a little.
"It's okay, Phoenix," the counselor told her quietly, "No one is going to hurt you."
Spirit Bear carefully guided Darcy to the running van. Darcy took her seat, listened to the door slide closed and folded her arms tightly as the van started moving. She tried to imagine that she was the only person in the backseat, that she wasn't surrounded by Peter and Johnny and all of those other people that thought she was a mental case.
"What the hell took you so long?"
Darcy's jaws clenched as she recognized the voice. She realized that she was sitting next to him. She thought about trying to say something that would shut him up, but she finally decided that not talking back would bother him more.
"So did your parents pay extra for the special treatment or are you just really crazy?" Johnny asked, making his voice sound innocently curious.
That struck Darcy's nerve, just as she knew Johnny had wanted it to. Why was she so easily affected by him? A single tear fell from her eye, rolling past the blindfold and down her cheek.
"Warrior," Spirit Bear interrupted suddenly from the driver's seat, using Johnny's rebirth name, "there is no talking permitted during this part of the journey."
Darcy wiped her cheek with her sweatshirt sleeve. Maybe it had just been her, but Spirit Bear's voice sounded sharper than it had back at Degrassi.
Johnny didn't bother her for the rest of the drive.
Yay, Spirit Bear. For anyone who is curious or just wasn't sure of intended mental image, at the part where Darcy runs back into Degrassi and has a little meltdown on the floor was envisioned in my head as similar to the part in The Messengers where Kristen Stewart runs back in her house and is all like "What's happening to me?" So yeah.
Reviews! Haven't been getting many. Oh, and speaking of reviews: if you want to leave me a review that either asks me a question or contains a comment that I might possibly wish to reply to, make sure it's not an anonymous review, 'cause if it is I can't answer your questions or comment back.
PS. Is anyone besides me kind of pissed off that Darcy is now pretty much "recovered" from her angst-athon? Like seriously, I still don't think she's told her parents what happened yet, because I would have to kick Degrassi's ass if she tells them and they don't show us the scene. But yeah, kind of miffed at the way she's just..."better" now. I mean, kudos to her for being happy again, but come on, finish the story line! Reviews please, comments about what I just said, flames about how much my story sucks, virtual golden star stickers if it doesn't! I'd love you forever...