This is going to have some disturbing memories and such in it. I'm sorry if that bothers anybody. That is my warning. This chapter is a tiny one, FYI
HAZEL
She stared at his door for awhile. People came and went through the hallway, but none were there to see her son. It'd been hours since he had a visitor.
Despite being chastised by the boy's mentor, she couldn't bring herself to go into the room. What could she possibly say that would undo the past?
Barbara knew that she hadn't been a good mother. Perry's words weren't any that she hadn't heard before from police, relatives and old friends who'd since drifted away from the unstable woman. She wasn't the kind of mother that even deserved a mention.
It wasn't that she hated her children. She didn't.
Though she didn't love them either. Her heart had hardened, and she didn't think she was capable of love anymore. Not after all those years of being threatened and intimidated by boyfriends.
She had to make a choice when her kids were growing up. It was between their well being and her own. She choose the more selfish route.
A part of her justified the whole thing by saying that JD and Dan could protect themselves. Dan could easily guard himself from the drunks. But JD? Barbara knew that JD was doomed from the start. He was small and twiggy, and lacked any upper body strength.
She'd never forget the first time she walked in on one of the attacks. The man was laying on top of JD, one hand on the boy's neck and the other one unbuttoning his own jeans. Barbara was shocked. She then did the most despicable thing that she ever could have done. She left the room and went into the kitchen, pulling a bottle of vodka out of the cupboard and hoping to drink away the things that she'd seen.
That would not be the last instance that she walked in on one of her boyfriends attacking him. Not once did she speak up about it.
After the attacks, Dan would find him and take him over to the hospital. The two of them never got along, but Dan still loved his little brother. So, he'd load him up into the car and drive him over to the County Hospital. The first couple of times that he'd been checked in, Barbara would force herself to go see him. It was more for her own image than her son's health. She wanted people to think that she cared. But after awhile, she stopped letting other people's opinions matter. She didn't visit him again after that, just waited for the police to drop by and question her about what happened to her poor son.
For some reason, the police never kept him in their custody. Barbara always wished that they had. Maybe she wouldn't have to feel so guilty if the police had protected him.
She guessed that they had just been waiting for him to do the thing that all of the other trailer kids did when life got bad- run away.
He never did leave, though. It wasn't because he loved his family. And it wasn't because he was happy. It was because he wanted to be a doctor. He'd simply needed his high school education.
Young JD knew that he'd never have to go back into the home after he graduated.
After all of the pain and suffering, he'd made his own way through college and med school and a name for himself as a doctor.
Barbara was so proud of her youngest, but she'd never say it.
She was sorry too, but she wouldn't say that either.
She was too cowardly to say that she'd messed up and that she wanted to know her son and grandson.
Her heart really was hardened.
With one last glance at a very broken JD, she walked through the front doors of the hospital and out of his life for good. At least she hoped.
This chapter had a purpose, I promise. And by the way, thanks to everybody for the reviews in chapter 10! Next chapter, I'm going to try to reply to all the reviews for this chapter. I'll put them in the next chapter, so review this one if you want a reply! Thanks!! I abided by the wishes of some people and canned the mom. HA!
HAZEL
PS Woot woot?