Instead of doing my Summer homework like a good student, I decided to update. I do realize that there are only a handful of people actually reading up to this point, but I'll continue writing this for them. TT Anyway, thanks for over 1000 hits and over ten reviews!
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Hyuuga Neji awoke to Lee jumping on his chest. Neji inhaled sharply and proceeded to torture his comrade. Before he could, Lee had something to say: "Nej-- Sakaki, it was like a trampoline!" Neji looked downward at his shirt-covered torso. The Hyuuga's nose exploded with blood, to the pleasure of most readers. After all, it had been a while since a good nose bleed.
"Lee, never do that again!" Neji reached for Lee's neck, but stopped himself. He needed Lee to get back home. Lee couldn't die yet.
"Okay, Sakaki!" Lee passed him a box of tissues. "I just needed to wake you up. We're leaving early." The Azumanga bunch was leaving that day to return home. "We don't have a choice but to go along with them back home."
"You're right."
"You guys done packing?" Tenten was in the doorway with a pillow and backpack. Both of her teammates shook their heads. "Pack, then! I'm going down to make breakfast." Lee jumped up with an excited expression on his face, and scurried to his room. Inner Neji jumped up like Lee did and grinned a large smile, like a small child would on Christmas morning. Exterior Neji sat on his bed with no emotion on his face.
"Fine," he muttered and began to pick out an outfit.
"What do you want for breakfast?" Tenten asked casually.
"I really don't care."
"Good because were having anchovy muffins." Neji tripped on his own foot. "Just kidding."
"Females." Tenten turned and walked down the hallway. She hopped down the stairs, two at a time. Kaorin, Kurosawa and Yomi were already seated at the table and looking at a cook book.
"Not that one! This one looks better!" Yomi was pointing at a picture of a plate of blueberry scones and arguing with Kaorin.
"This one looks good too," Kurosawa suggested, referring to a picture of pancakes on the opposite page of the scones.
"Yeah, but we already had pancakes," Yomi commented. Kaorin flipped the page.
"What about this one?" Kaorin said excitedly, pointing at a photo of tasty looking waffles.
Yomi's mind immediately jumped to an image of the psychotic cook flinging the waffle iron at Yukari's head when it failed to work. "Waffles sound good," she said quickly.
"Yes," Kaorin agreed as she imagined a similar scenario of Chiyo stabbing a bag of sugar.
Kurosawa raised herself to her feet, holding the book open to the page of the waffle recipe and walked over to where Tenten was standing. "If you don't mind, Chiyo," began the gym teacher with a large smile plastered on her face, "will you make us breakfast?" She held the book out to Tenten with both her hands and tapped the open page with her pinkie.
In her gut, Tenten knew this was going to happen. She bit her lip and put on a chipper face. "I'd love to!" As Tenten took the book and turned to the kitchen to find the waffle iron, Kaorin and Yomi high-fived. Tenten had found the iron in one of the lower cabinets. She jabbed the two-pronged electrical plug into the outlet with tremendous force, and Tenten slid the cookbook over to her side and to the first line. In a large mixing bowl, combine one-half cup of sugar and three cups of flour. Can't be that hard, can it? She gathered the suggested amounts of materials and poured them into the bowl she had found. Without looking up from the book, Tenten reached her hand out to the waffle iron to sweep it closer to herself, to pour the thick mixture into it. She miscalculated the position of her hand and brushed the scorching metal with it. "OH MY FUCKING GOD!" The young girl jumped backwards from the counter.
"I never thought Chiyo-chan swore," Yomi commented.
"You're right," Kurosawa confirmed, with a puzzled expression on her face. Tenten gripped her wrist and stared at the burned fingertips, not daring to touch them, as if they were covered with a strong acid. She switched her stare to the steaming iron, which was sitting there innocently. It was too much.
"YOU FRIGGIN' BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU?" Tenten was again letting her anger out on inanimate objects. To the pleasure of Yomi, Kurosawa, Kaorin, and then Lee, Neji, and Kagura, who just joined the group, Tenten began her rampage. "YOU IDIOTIC," Tenten threw the waffle iron across the room and hit the opposite wall, which inflicted a dent on both the iron and the wall. "GOOD-FOR-NOTHING," she ran to it and began hitting it with the toaster oven. "CHUNK OF METAL!" she stabbed it with the large kitchen knife she had used before. The sound of the stainless-steel blade colliding with the metal of the iron made the spectators jump.
"Ten--Chiyo!" Neji cried out, "We need that for breakfast!" He rose from the table and sprinted over to her. The Hyuuga seized her from the behind, immobilizing her arms. "L--Tomo! Take the knife from her!"
"Yes!" Lee stood up, quickly strode to his two teammates, and snatched the sharp, pointy object from his currently psychotic friend (and no, it wasn't Neji). He swiftly placed the knife on the counter and proceeded to help Neji tie Tenten securely to a nearby chair with rope that Neji had conveniently there and then. They bound her like how they would if she was Orochimaru being prepared for interrogation (minus the nails embedded in the rope).
"So," Yomi began gently, "what's for breakfast?"
"Hm," Neji grunted as he paced over to the refrigerator and opened the freezer. After browsing with no care whatsoever, he pulled out a box of frozen waffles and casually tossed it the full ten feet to the table the group was sitting at, just because he was that cool.
"Um, thanks?" Kurosawa half-asked.
Neji gripped the back of Tenten's chair and with a single, swift movement, he lifted the chair with Tenten and twisted his arm so it was behind his back.
"Idiot! Put me down before you drop me!" Tenten exclaimed, trying to squirm out of the bondage. All the same, Neji ignored her and started for the stairs. He motioned Lee to follow him.
"I need to talk to these two alone for a moment, so if you'll excuse us," Neji explained without looking back at them. Lee followed Neji and Tenten, who was whimpering at each step Neji took up the stairs. After all, he was holding the chair by one hand. They turned the corner into Neji's room silently and closed the door behind them. Neji placed the chair carefully on the floor.
"Now, the technique combining--" Neji started but was interrupted.
"Please untie me," Tenten began. She was struggling with the knots. "I can't feel my feet."
Lee kneeled down and started to fumble at the knots. "Neji, the knots are too tight," Lee murmured.
"You must be doing it wrong," Neji criticized. "Here," he kneeled down and examined the knots. He turned to Lee. "You idiot, you messed them up. It needs to be cut now."
"Ah! We don't have a knife, do we?" Lee pointed out. "If we go down stairs and retrieve a knife, it might look suspicious."
Tenten was looking down at her right thigh. She sighed. "I have a kunai I made the other day with me."
"That's great! Can we borrow it?" Lee asked with a breath of relief.
"The problem is," she began, "that the only one I kept--the only one that turned out okay is," she paused and took a deep breath, "tied high up on my thigh."
"So? Can you get it out for us?" Neji asked.
"Does it look like I can?" she managed to budge her bound hands.
"But that means either Neji or I has to--" Lee stopped. A grave pause filled the room. "Sakaki has longer arms." Lee concluded.
Neji gave him a death glare. He began to pummel Lee in his mind with all of his many grand techniques. Ah, how he would have loved to do at least one of them to Lee, but alas, he couldn't. "Fine," he turned to Tenten. "You won't kill me, will you?"
"It depends whether you hand detours away from the kunai, Pervert," Tenten said angrily.
"I assure you, it won't. My hand isn't tempted," Neji responded, blushing.
"Don't mind him, Tenten," Lee said casually to Tenten, "he hasn't hit puberty yet."
"That explains a lot," Tenten giggled. Neji grunted.
"Which side is it on?"
"The right." Neji lowered his hand to the cuff of Tenten's pant leg. "My right, Neji."
"Oh," Neji murmured and switched to the opposite leg. His hand slowly rose up , brushing her leg occasionally. At her knee, he began to violently blush and felt his nose tingle; he plugged his nose with his free hand.
"Whoops! My bad! The kunai is between my breasts!" Tenten admitted. Neji released his grip on his face and blood spurted from his nose. "Just kidding. You're almost there!"
Neji's hand found the handle of the kunai and unlatched it from the duct tape holster. He immediately pulled back as fast as possible and fell backwards onto the floor. A small pool of blood began to form by his head.Lee took the kunai from Neji's limp hand and proceeded to cut away the ropes. When Tenten was free, she and Lee tried to wake the unconscious Neji. First, Tenten slapped the Hyuuga, and Lee shook him gently. Next, Lee hit a few pressure points, and Tenten punched him in the stomach, but Sakaki's impersonator remained unconscious.
"Oh well," Tenten sighed and looked up at Lee. "He's unconscious."
"Yes," Lee responded, looking up at her from Neji.
"He's unconscious," she repeated.
"I see that."
"He's unconscious," she repeated again. A smirk melted upon her face. "Let's give him a makeover."
"No! We can't!" Lee cried with horror.
"Sure we can! Even though he's already in a girl's body, we can still--"
"Okay! Fine!" Lee picked up a brush from the dresser.
"No, no! I was thinking along the lines of..." she raised her hand, which held a pair of scissors; Lee squealed with delight. Tenten propped Neji up in a sitting position and raised the scissors. Neji immediately regained consciousness and whirled around to Tenten. He snatched the scissors away from her.
"Oh yeah, Neji has the ability to sense scissors," Lee explained, "I guess it snapped him out of it."
"Guess so," Tenten said in a disappointed tone.
"NEVER. TRY. THAT. AGAIN." Neji commanded forcefully.
"Well, I can't promise anything," Tenten said in a playful manner. Neji glared at them.
"We must work on our technique!" Lee practically screamed at them.
"Fine," Neji responded, walking over to Sakaki's duffel bag, reaching into it, and producing three muffins wrapped in napkins. He tossed two of the muffins to his teammates. "I snuck them from the kitchen."
"Why, thank you, Neji!" Lee thanked cheerfully.
"Thanks," Tenten stated.
"So, I was thinking," Lee started, " that for our technique we should make something up for Tenten and me and then incorporate Neji's, seeing that he is having trouble using his chakra. We'll have to really work hard to make a new technique for him or to train hard and regain the use of his techniques."
"Yeah," Tenten agreed, muffin spilling from her mouth.
"Hmph," Neji grunted with an unhappy look on his face. "I'm working on getting my techniques back," he muttered to himself.
"Well, I haven't thought of anything," Tenten admitted.
"The same for me," Neji added.
"I guess it's up to me," Lee concluded as he stuffed the remainder of his blueberry muffin into his mouth.
"Guess so," Neji said with a smirk. He finished his muffin with a small bite and lifted the duffel bag onto his shoulder. "I guess it's time to go." Tenten stuffed the remaining half of her muffin into her mouth.
"Yef," she said, muffin impairing her speech. She followed her teammates out the door and down the stairs to see that all of the girls and teachers were there waiting to go.
"We decided the seating arrangements for the trip home," Yomi informed Neji, Tenten, and Lee. "Guess where we put you three." Tenten's stomach flipped over and started to break dance. Osaka giggled.
"Great," Neji remarked sarcastically.
Tenten picked up Chiyo's bag, which she had brought down already, and the group proceeded to the cars. The bags were tossed into the back of Kurosawa's van. With smirks on their faces, Yomi, Kurosawa, Kaorin, and Kagura climbed into the safe car along with Osaka. Neji reluctantly slid into the back of the death trap-- I mean car. Tenten sat in the middle seat, and Lee took the remaining seat next to Tenten.
Yukari then made an announcement before she took her seat behind the wheel: "Okay kiddies, we're going to top last time's maximum MPH!"
"Um, what was that?" Tenten asked nervously.
"Oh, it was just 110," Yukari answered, fixing her seatbelt.
Neji fainted onto Tenten's shoulder. "Miss Yukari, do you have a license?" Tenten asked.
"Of course! But then again, I should get it renewed. I was supposed to do that two years ago!"
Tenten fainted onto Lee's shoulder. Lee's eyes were rounded and he had started trembling. Yukari turned the key. Tenten and Neji both shot up and fixed their gazes on Yukari.
"Yeehaw!" Yukari screamed as she slammed on the gas. The car charged forward and barely missed Chiyo's summer home. It hit a tree, though. Neji whimpered. "Sorry. I forgot to put it into reverse!" She shifted the car into reverse and then pressed her foot on the gas pedal. The car sped backwards and hit the mailbox. "Oh," Yukari stated without surprise. When the car made it to the road, Yukari went insane. Well, more insane than usual. "CHARGE!" She screamed and floored the gas pedal. The car surged down the road. Kurosawa's car then slowly and calmly pulled out of the dirt driveway and onto the road.
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Notes: Yes, I do know that this chapter is random and awkward.
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Next time: Team Gai goes on a mission!
"Chiyo and Tomo stared at the hokage with motivation, while Sakaki could not look more confused.
'You are to retrieve Nara Shikamaru from the top of the mountainside hokage monument. He's most likely lying on top of the Third's head, watching the clouds or taking a nap.'"