An unwilling damsel by Joy
I had this ready first thing this morning BUT the Document Manager section of the sight was down. I am sorry for the delay.
A/N: 1) I am going to take Ginny's general 'spunkiness' to a new level. I am going to have be something of a tease. It was only fair to warn you.
2) I realize I am writing Snape out of character. I told you earlier that he wasn't a bad guy in my universe. It's the beauty of writing fanfiction. The attempt is to bend a characters personality not break it.
3) Thanks for the reviews. I am delirious with joy...okay that sounds weird since I am Joy. Oh well.
From perfection to despair
11.
Ginny and Harry made a cute picture. He was sitting back against the window seat, legs splayed, with Ginny in between them leaning on his chest. He intertwined their fingers his on top of hers resting on her knees. It was sweet.
"You were in my room last night," Ginny whispered.
Harry swallowed as his cheeks began to blush.
"Did you watch any of us undress?" Ginny asked in a neutral tone.
"I came in after everyone was asleep... I would never..."
"Never?" Ginny asked in a teasing tone. "Pity."
"What?" Harry's eyes went big although the red head couldn't see him.
"I had a nice dream last night about you wanting to be near me so badly you hid under your father's cloak. However I wasn't already in bed when you arrived," she stated. Harry sucked a deep breath and groaned. "You watched me undress before you...well...let yourself be 'seen'."
Ginny's experience was limited so she had never been close enough to a boy to actually feel his arousal in a physical way...that didn't involve being assaulted that is. Determinedly she put that out of her mind and concentrated on acting like a normal girl should. She cringed. She was still normal...she just startled more easily now. She was more aware of her surroundings and more...It didn't matter anymore. Right now she was reclining on said appendage of her boyfriend, Harry-the boy who lived- Potter.
Ginny was absolutely fascinated by the response she just got instead of terrified of it. At least that she was proud of. Harry didn't freak her out. She heard him groan a bit. "Like that idea?" she asked innocently. The sound he made was the sexiest thing she had ever heard.
For Harry's part he was dying a slow and painful death. This was hell. To have a hot girlfriend...a really hot girlfriend who was teasing him just enough to fill his head with ideas of sneaking in her room to watch her undress...implying that she liked the idea. He was hard and getting harder by the second...and of course his hot girlfriend was the one trapping him bent in half in his pants. He kissed behind her ear, "Stop teasing...I'm trying to remain a gentleman."
Ginny sighed contently. At least Harry didn't seem upset by her behavior. "All right Mr. Potter. I will be a perfect angel. But only because we started dating tonight...We are dating, aren't we?" she asked a bit nervous.
"Gin I haven't left your side for months. Who are you worried about? I'm sure in most people's minds we've been dating for a while." Harry squeezed their interdigitated fingers. (Interdigitate: Ginny word for interlocking digits or fingers.)
"Good point," she remarked.
Ron and Hermione kissed a few more times goodnight before leaving Ginny and Harry alone in the common room. They sat quietly together enjoying the embrace they shared. "You ready to go up?" Harry whispered against Ginny's ear.
A chill ran down her spine. "You inviting me into your bed again Mr. Potter?" she asked coquettishly.
Harry groaned then chuckled, "I set my self up for that, but no I wasn't asking you. Bit early for that."
"I slept next to you before we were dating," she stated nodding toward the boy's dorm.
Harry hugged Ginny a little closer, "I loved that. I didn't know how much I loved it until I wanted you back there so often. I would be in class thinking about how amazing it felt to have you in my arms. I would catch myself..."
Ginny leaned back and looked at him innocently, "Catch yourself doing what?"
"I...well..."
"It's okay Harry...tell me," she murmured then kissed his jaw.
He shut his eyes taking in the sensation. "That day the boys cornered you." He felt Ginny tense. "Well once I got you set up in here I made a mental list of the things I needed to do...before of course I found I was doing it all wrong." She smirked and kissed his throat, which bobbed nervously. "I needed to go to Dumbledore. Needed to talk to Ron. Needed to ask you to lie beside me again. Shocked myself with that...but then it just became this deep desire that I couldn't turn from but couldn't act on...sort of...sleeping in the common room not withstanding."
Ginny sat up, "You...You've had feelings for me since then?"
Harry kissed her nose, "And before that...I've been attracted to you for years now. We weren't really friends...you were right about that. But you were Ron's baby sister and I just couldn't bring myself to believe that your brothers would be okay with us...so I did my best to ignore it...making sure I did not get to know you too well."
He kissed her lightly on the mouth and said, "But then after that night I couldn't stay away anymore. I had failed you so much already. I wanted to protect you if I could."
"You didn't fail me," Ginny authoritatively.
"It feels like I did."
"My white knight," she joked and kissed him again.
Harry looked out the window some more and the thought struck him. "Ginny?"
"Hmm?"
"Why haven't you told me about that night?" Harry asked quietly bringing their arms in close to hug her more thoroughly.
"I don't like to think about it," She murmured leaning back further to rest her head on his shoulder.
"You told me that one day you would tell me what happened," he whispered before flexing their intertwined fingers.
"And you want 'one day' to be today," Ginny answered just as quietly.
She paused for a moment thinking the situation over and hoped she had found a way round the conversation, "Why's it important? It brought us together. Its over..."
"Ginny," Harry murmured looking into her face. "You not telling me makes me feel like I have done something wrong...that all these months of yearning your trust don't mean anything... I guess I just don't feel like this is going to work if you can't trust me."
Ginny's insides lurched as if she had been slapped again. Her eyes slammed shut in pain and when she opened them again Harry could see seething anger boiling over. Gin detangled herself from him, "You're right. It won't work... Things aren't going on your timetable so you give me an ultimatum like that. To hell with you Potter!"
And just like that she was gone. Harry sat in stunned silence. He had been so happy a few moments before. He had what he wanted. Harry was so confused it boggled the mind that this day had even occurred.
.........
Gryffindor Tower was in an absolute uproar...silent but uproar nonetheless. Rumors were flying about couples, break ups, crying jags and reconciliations. At the moment no one could figure out what was going on with Harry and Ginny since they ate at different times the entire day. This was the second day in a row Harry was not there to walk Ginny to class but today Ginny didn't seem to care or notice as opposed to the previous day. Harry was in all of his classes completely shut lipped to everyone including Ron and Hermione.
At the end of Potions Snape called him forward. "You and I had a deal Mr. Potter. Why are you now reneging?"
Harry looked at his hands and owned up, "Because I'm a general prat that screwed everything up and I don't know how to fix things."
Snape glared at Harry slightly; "What is the issue Mr. Potter?"
"I wanted her to trust me to..."
"All stop," Professor Snape said. "Trust...your issue is trust." Harry nodded. "Then I suggest Mr. Potter when you are faced with a moment that you must absolutely trust her...you do just that."
He turned his back on his student and let him wonder out.
The only person he trusted to talk about Ginny with was Hermione and after the night before it was nearly impossible to separate her and Ron. Harry lay in wait to capture his surrogate sister. When Hermione split off from Ron after her last class but before they were to meet for dinner, he nabbed her.
"Harry?" she fussed. "What's going on? Why aren't you with Ginny?"
"I think we broke up," he said in confusion.
"You were only together a couple of hours. How could you be broken up?" Hermione commented, but in retrospect Harry would feel this to be a rehearsed answer.
"That's the part where I need your help," Harry explained. "I'll tell you what I said. You tell me what I did."
Hermione looked perplexed, "I mean you want me to guess."
"No I mean I want to tell you what I said and you tell me what she heard instead."
Hermione sat down with Harry as he retold his conversation with Ginny about 'that night'.
"I just wanted to hear it from her lips...to know what scared her. I just wanted to know."
Hermione shook her head in disbelief for a moment. "Harry what you did was you told Ginny that if she didn't tell you about 'that night' right then you were breaking up. She just beat you to the punch."
"That's not what I meant. I just meant that it feels like..." Harry stopped and thought it through. "That is what I said isn't it."
Hermione nodded.
Harry pulled at his black hair. "When do I get to be over being a git?" he asked. "Do I get to out grow it? Please tell me when I get to out grow it."
"Unfortunately probably never," she said sympathetically.
"What do I do?" he said with the expression of a kicked puppy.
Hermione took a deep breath and let it out in a huff, "Okay I doubt you're going to get this as a guy but I'll tell you what I told Ron. Ginny was in a situation that could have gone very bad very fast. In the muggle world this kind of thing is more common at boarding schools and universities than people think. Here we have the illusion of being more in control, that we can protect ourselves better."
She sighed, "See, it doesn't matter that he didn't do what he wanted to...what matters was that she was trapped and he intended to take what he wanted from her. She felt helpless and for those few moments she was helpless."
The look in Harry's eyes told Hermione he wasn't getting it. "Say in the chamber of secrets things had gone differently. You were powerless. All you could do was watch as Tom Riddle tortured Ginny. What would be worse- watching him kill her or watching him rape her?"
Harry's body was rigid, knowing his answer but not understanding why. "Death- it's over Harry. It's final for the person. Rape- it's always there, no matter what. All sexual assaults are like that. Women get over it...they move on...they survive...but its still there even if it's only minutely."
Hermione took Harry's hands in hers, "This is hers Harry. This is her pain...her experience. She has been asked questions about it...yes or no answers. She's never had to tell her side. You are asking her to relive it...to re-experience it. That's a lot harder than you give her credit for."
Harry felt like crawling in a hole. He was an idiot. "How do I make it up to her?"
Hermione smiled, "You talk to her. Apologize. Give her back the control."
"She's avoiding me," Harry muttered.
"I think that isn't quite true since she is coming this way."
Harry got to his feet and turned to see a very confident Ginny walking to them. She seemed miffed but not necessarily angry. "Hi Hermione...Harry, may I speak to you?" she said coolly.
"Yes...yeah...please," he responded wiping his sweaty palms on his pants.
"Good...Goodbye Hermione," Ginny said with a nod,
The brown haired witch watched as 'the boy who lived' followed the youngest Weasley like a puppy. "Oh crikey are you in for it. Just wait until you see what is in store for you."
A/N: I fix it. I fix it. But next chapter is the chapter we go through Ginny's experience. I did it as gently as possible. For those of you who don't actually want to read it but want to keep up with the story I will give you an overview just email me. Next chapter is very much the straight down drop on the rollercoaster. It's a squirm in your seat chapter.
Now class what do we say: I will REVIEW this story with support or criticism. I will REVIEW this story with support or criticism. Very good class.
I had this ready first thing this morning BUT the Document Manager section of the sight was down. I am sorry for the delay.
A/N: 1) I am going to take Ginny's general 'spunkiness' to a new level. I am going to have be something of a tease. It was only fair to warn you.
2) I realize I am writing Snape out of character. I told you earlier that he wasn't a bad guy in my universe. It's the beauty of writing fanfiction. The attempt is to bend a characters personality not break it.
3) Thanks for the reviews. I am delirious with joy...okay that sounds weird since I am Joy. Oh well.
From perfection to despair
11.
Ginny and Harry made a cute picture. He was sitting back against the window seat, legs splayed, with Ginny in between them leaning on his chest. He intertwined their fingers his on top of hers resting on her knees. It was sweet.
"You were in my room last night," Ginny whispered.
Harry swallowed as his cheeks began to blush.
"Did you watch any of us undress?" Ginny asked in a neutral tone.
"I came in after everyone was asleep... I would never..."
"Never?" Ginny asked in a teasing tone. "Pity."
"What?" Harry's eyes went big although the red head couldn't see him.
"I had a nice dream last night about you wanting to be near me so badly you hid under your father's cloak. However I wasn't already in bed when you arrived," she stated. Harry sucked a deep breath and groaned. "You watched me undress before you...well...let yourself be 'seen'."
Ginny's experience was limited so she had never been close enough to a boy to actually feel his arousal in a physical way...that didn't involve being assaulted that is. Determinedly she put that out of her mind and concentrated on acting like a normal girl should. She cringed. She was still normal...she just startled more easily now. She was more aware of her surroundings and more...It didn't matter anymore. Right now she was reclining on said appendage of her boyfriend, Harry-the boy who lived- Potter.
Ginny was absolutely fascinated by the response she just got instead of terrified of it. At least that she was proud of. Harry didn't freak her out. She heard him groan a bit. "Like that idea?" she asked innocently. The sound he made was the sexiest thing she had ever heard.
For Harry's part he was dying a slow and painful death. This was hell. To have a hot girlfriend...a really hot girlfriend who was teasing him just enough to fill his head with ideas of sneaking in her room to watch her undress...implying that she liked the idea. He was hard and getting harder by the second...and of course his hot girlfriend was the one trapping him bent in half in his pants. He kissed behind her ear, "Stop teasing...I'm trying to remain a gentleman."
Ginny sighed contently. At least Harry didn't seem upset by her behavior. "All right Mr. Potter. I will be a perfect angel. But only because we started dating tonight...We are dating, aren't we?" she asked a bit nervous.
"Gin I haven't left your side for months. Who are you worried about? I'm sure in most people's minds we've been dating for a while." Harry squeezed their interdigitated fingers. (Interdigitate: Ginny word for interlocking digits or fingers.)
"Good point," she remarked.
Ron and Hermione kissed a few more times goodnight before leaving Ginny and Harry alone in the common room. They sat quietly together enjoying the embrace they shared. "You ready to go up?" Harry whispered against Ginny's ear.
A chill ran down her spine. "You inviting me into your bed again Mr. Potter?" she asked coquettishly.
Harry groaned then chuckled, "I set my self up for that, but no I wasn't asking you. Bit early for that."
"I slept next to you before we were dating," she stated nodding toward the boy's dorm.
Harry hugged Ginny a little closer, "I loved that. I didn't know how much I loved it until I wanted you back there so often. I would be in class thinking about how amazing it felt to have you in my arms. I would catch myself..."
Ginny leaned back and looked at him innocently, "Catch yourself doing what?"
"I...well..."
"It's okay Harry...tell me," she murmured then kissed his jaw.
He shut his eyes taking in the sensation. "That day the boys cornered you." He felt Ginny tense. "Well once I got you set up in here I made a mental list of the things I needed to do...before of course I found I was doing it all wrong." She smirked and kissed his throat, which bobbed nervously. "I needed to go to Dumbledore. Needed to talk to Ron. Needed to ask you to lie beside me again. Shocked myself with that...but then it just became this deep desire that I couldn't turn from but couldn't act on...sort of...sleeping in the common room not withstanding."
Ginny sat up, "You...You've had feelings for me since then?"
Harry kissed her nose, "And before that...I've been attracted to you for years now. We weren't really friends...you were right about that. But you were Ron's baby sister and I just couldn't bring myself to believe that your brothers would be okay with us...so I did my best to ignore it...making sure I did not get to know you too well."
He kissed her lightly on the mouth and said, "But then after that night I couldn't stay away anymore. I had failed you so much already. I wanted to protect you if I could."
"You didn't fail me," Ginny authoritatively.
"It feels like I did."
"My white knight," she joked and kissed him again.
Harry looked out the window some more and the thought struck him. "Ginny?"
"Hmm?"
"Why haven't you told me about that night?" Harry asked quietly bringing their arms in close to hug her more thoroughly.
"I don't like to think about it," She murmured leaning back further to rest her head on his shoulder.
"You told me that one day you would tell me what happened," he whispered before flexing their intertwined fingers.
"And you want 'one day' to be today," Ginny answered just as quietly.
She paused for a moment thinking the situation over and hoped she had found a way round the conversation, "Why's it important? It brought us together. Its over..."
"Ginny," Harry murmured looking into her face. "You not telling me makes me feel like I have done something wrong...that all these months of yearning your trust don't mean anything... I guess I just don't feel like this is going to work if you can't trust me."
Ginny's insides lurched as if she had been slapped again. Her eyes slammed shut in pain and when she opened them again Harry could see seething anger boiling over. Gin detangled herself from him, "You're right. It won't work... Things aren't going on your timetable so you give me an ultimatum like that. To hell with you Potter!"
And just like that she was gone. Harry sat in stunned silence. He had been so happy a few moments before. He had what he wanted. Harry was so confused it boggled the mind that this day had even occurred.
.........
Gryffindor Tower was in an absolute uproar...silent but uproar nonetheless. Rumors were flying about couples, break ups, crying jags and reconciliations. At the moment no one could figure out what was going on with Harry and Ginny since they ate at different times the entire day. This was the second day in a row Harry was not there to walk Ginny to class but today Ginny didn't seem to care or notice as opposed to the previous day. Harry was in all of his classes completely shut lipped to everyone including Ron and Hermione.
At the end of Potions Snape called him forward. "You and I had a deal Mr. Potter. Why are you now reneging?"
Harry looked at his hands and owned up, "Because I'm a general prat that screwed everything up and I don't know how to fix things."
Snape glared at Harry slightly; "What is the issue Mr. Potter?"
"I wanted her to trust me to..."
"All stop," Professor Snape said. "Trust...your issue is trust." Harry nodded. "Then I suggest Mr. Potter when you are faced with a moment that you must absolutely trust her...you do just that."
He turned his back on his student and let him wonder out.
The only person he trusted to talk about Ginny with was Hermione and after the night before it was nearly impossible to separate her and Ron. Harry lay in wait to capture his surrogate sister. When Hermione split off from Ron after her last class but before they were to meet for dinner, he nabbed her.
"Harry?" she fussed. "What's going on? Why aren't you with Ginny?"
"I think we broke up," he said in confusion.
"You were only together a couple of hours. How could you be broken up?" Hermione commented, but in retrospect Harry would feel this to be a rehearsed answer.
"That's the part where I need your help," Harry explained. "I'll tell you what I said. You tell me what I did."
Hermione looked perplexed, "I mean you want me to guess."
"No I mean I want to tell you what I said and you tell me what she heard instead."
Hermione sat down with Harry as he retold his conversation with Ginny about 'that night'.
"I just wanted to hear it from her lips...to know what scared her. I just wanted to know."
Hermione shook her head in disbelief for a moment. "Harry what you did was you told Ginny that if she didn't tell you about 'that night' right then you were breaking up. She just beat you to the punch."
"That's not what I meant. I just meant that it feels like..." Harry stopped and thought it through. "That is what I said isn't it."
Hermione nodded.
Harry pulled at his black hair. "When do I get to be over being a git?" he asked. "Do I get to out grow it? Please tell me when I get to out grow it."
"Unfortunately probably never," she said sympathetically.
"What do I do?" he said with the expression of a kicked puppy.
Hermione took a deep breath and let it out in a huff, "Okay I doubt you're going to get this as a guy but I'll tell you what I told Ron. Ginny was in a situation that could have gone very bad very fast. In the muggle world this kind of thing is more common at boarding schools and universities than people think. Here we have the illusion of being more in control, that we can protect ourselves better."
She sighed, "See, it doesn't matter that he didn't do what he wanted to...what matters was that she was trapped and he intended to take what he wanted from her. She felt helpless and for those few moments she was helpless."
The look in Harry's eyes told Hermione he wasn't getting it. "Say in the chamber of secrets things had gone differently. You were powerless. All you could do was watch as Tom Riddle tortured Ginny. What would be worse- watching him kill her or watching him rape her?"
Harry's body was rigid, knowing his answer but not understanding why. "Death- it's over Harry. It's final for the person. Rape- it's always there, no matter what. All sexual assaults are like that. Women get over it...they move on...they survive...but its still there even if it's only minutely."
Hermione took Harry's hands in hers, "This is hers Harry. This is her pain...her experience. She has been asked questions about it...yes or no answers. She's never had to tell her side. You are asking her to relive it...to re-experience it. That's a lot harder than you give her credit for."
Harry felt like crawling in a hole. He was an idiot. "How do I make it up to her?"
Hermione smiled, "You talk to her. Apologize. Give her back the control."
"She's avoiding me," Harry muttered.
"I think that isn't quite true since she is coming this way."
Harry got to his feet and turned to see a very confident Ginny walking to them. She seemed miffed but not necessarily angry. "Hi Hermione...Harry, may I speak to you?" she said coolly.
"Yes...yeah...please," he responded wiping his sweaty palms on his pants.
"Good...Goodbye Hermione," Ginny said with a nod,
The brown haired witch watched as 'the boy who lived' followed the youngest Weasley like a puppy. "Oh crikey are you in for it. Just wait until you see what is in store for you."
A/N: I fix it. I fix it. But next chapter is the chapter we go through Ginny's experience. I did it as gently as possible. For those of you who don't actually want to read it but want to keep up with the story I will give you an overview just email me. Next chapter is very much the straight down drop on the rollercoaster. It's a squirm in your seat chapter.
Now class what do we say: I will REVIEW this story with support or criticism. I will REVIEW this story with support or criticism. Very good class.