Introductory letter to Ms. Liams: Talia Vinacelli
Dear Ms. Liams,
My name is Talia Vinacelli, and I'm the only child of Sheila Vinacelli and retired soccer player Phineas Troy. In case you were wondering why I have my mother's last name, it's because my parents never married. That and my mother is very anti-patriarchal and finds it ridiculous that society almost forces women to change their names when they marry, which I agree. Although, I really like the name Troy.
I'm not complaining, though. I'm sort of happy they never married, because they have never, ever, ever, ever gotten along in my entire life. At all. I can recall one happy moment between them and that was just yesterday, when I caught them bonding over black coffee.
I was born and bred right here in NYC. I know you just moved here from a small town in Michigan, which is cool because my mom is from there. New York isn't as scary as movies make it seem. Nor is it as glamorous, as I'm sure you found out. Just wash your hands every hour and you'll be fine. Ish.
I'm a vegetarian, something that no one seems to believe. I also consider myself an environmentalist, a humanitarian, and an animal rights activist. As you can probably infer, I stand up for the rights of people, animals, and an environment that cannot speak for itself. Every month, I donate ten dollars to WWF, Greenpeace, and the World Food Programme. I'm pretty dedicated and, at least I think, generous to give seventy-five percent of my monthly income to support these organizations. But, it is a sacrifice I willingly make.
I'm five-foot-ten, which is almost a giantess. And I don't know where I even got it from, my mom is only five six and my dad is only five eleven. Instead of becoming the genetic lottery like my parents were, I have no chest, no butt, and huge feet. I am, nor will I ever be, a graceful dancer like my mother once was, nor will I ever be good at soccer. Or any sport. No, instead, I am not really good at much of anything, not even tying a cherry stem into a knot with my tongue like that girl on Drake and Josh. My best friend Elaine is really good at everything. She's super smart and always has witty comebacks to everything. It's kind of intimidating. To be honest, I'm not sure why I'm in this class. I'm not very smart at all. So I know some teacher recommended me to be in here… I can only hope I do them justice.
Talia Vinacelli