Shinji woke up with a gasp. The last few seconds of his dream flashed through his head.

"Urgh, another one…"

Sluggishly, Shinji sat up and rubbed his head. It felt like he'd been sleeping in an oven – his blankets were drenched in sweat, and he was boiling hot. He moved the covers off of his body, and the cool morning air shocked him into alertness. The alcohol still affecting his system made everything sway around him, and Shinji closed his eyes for a moment to compose himself.

Eventually sitting up, Shinji held his head in his hands. The few dreams about Shinji's past had been surprising - it wasn't often that he dreamed about his past, and the occurrence of 2 such dreams in as many weeks was a bit surprising.

…Must be getting old, I guess.

Chuckling to himself, Shinji got up to begin his day.

After showering and brushing his teeth, he went out to the kitchen and began brewing coffee. While the coffee brewed, he set up the kitchen so he could prepare breakfast for himself and Rei.

As he turned the stove on, he spied Rei's bag on the counter top. The night before flashed into his mind.

Oh no.

His gaffe at the end of the night, and the resulting heart-to-heart with Rei about their relationship, flooded into his mind. Bits and pieces were missing, but the memories he had left made Shinji feel awful. There was no doubt that they would continue the discussion about their future when Rei woke up, and the idea filled Shinji with dread.

Turning the stove off, Shinji took a seat in the living room.

He thought of a way to diffuse the situation. When that failed, he sat in silence. After that, he turned on the TV for a bit. Every second he spent in silence made him feel worse, like his legs were made of lead and melting around his feet – but he couldn't think of anything to do, except watch TV.

When the morning program on TV ended, Shinji got up and turned the stove back on. He still felt awful, but the thought of eating breakfast was too good to pass up. Grabbing his ingredients, Shinji got to work cooking beef in one pan and an omelette in the other.

When that was done, Shinji got himself a decent serving and sat it down on the bench opposite the counter. Taking a bite of the beef, Shinji winced. It wasn't seasoned properly – he'd run out of garlic while he was cooking it.

Less than happy about the state of his meal, Shinji stood up and went to the fridge. There was a piece of paper stuck to the door with a magnet, and on the counter next to the fridge was a pen. Scribbling down "garlic" angrily, Shinji returned to his meal.

As he chewed through his food, the piece of paper kept Shinji's attention. It was like something in his head was trying to make a connection – like something was trying to connect with his rapidly fading dream.

As Shinji picked up a piece of omelette and began bringing it up to his mouth, something clicked.

A letter. He could get everything down in a letter.

Dropping his utensils, Shinji stood up. Grabbing the pen and piece of paper, he began to write furiously fast. Rei had already slept in for a significant amount of time that morning – there was no time to lose.

It wasn't too long before Rei did wake up. After showering and preparing for the day, she stepped into the kitchen.

Shinji was standing behind the counter, plating up some food for her. He placed it over onto the bench, next to a glass of juice and what looked like a folded piece of paper.

She went and sat down at the bench, inspecting the piece of paper. Opening it up, Rei was surprised to find a letter. The writing was small, scrambled and a bit messy, like it had been rushed through – there was no doubt that Shinji had written it.

She looked up at Shinji. He looked unusually serious – like something was worrying him. Taking a sip of juice, she began to read.

To Rei

It's been a while since I've written anything formally, and this idea came out of nowhere, so I'm sorry if this is all weird or stupid.

Last night we both drank a lot with Misato and Kaji, and I said something dumb which led to some hurt feelings and a long talk. It was pretty draining – I haven't slept for long, and everything I remember from last night is combining into this… gnawing worry about our future.

I wanted to get my feelings across as clearly as possible, so I'm writing you this letter.

Last night, I asked if we'd end up like Kaji and Misato. Thinking that far into the future… it's frightening, because there's no way we can actually see that far. It's never really set in stone – I didn't think I'd be working in economics as a teenager, but here I am going to work at NERV most mornings.

Seeing Kaji and Misato like they were put some worries in my head. I don't want to think about the possibility of us following a similar route, but… again, the future's so damn cloudy. I couldn't help but think "what if" at that moment, and I caused so much unnecessary hurt. I'm so sorry.

I love you more than I've loved anyone in my life. Honestly, the only future of ours I can hope for is a bright and happy one, where we're both around and doing well for ourselves and for each other. Cooking each other breakfast, cheering each other up, pushing each other to do our best. I couldn't wish for a better outcome than that.

I love you so much right now, and I haven't got any intention to stop. I want to be with you for every step in our journey, and I'd love to see our journey take years and years to complete. As long as I'm here with you, I want to keep living my life for you, making sure you're as happy as I am with the life we're living.

Some people naturally grow apart. After 7 years, I still love you as much as the moment I realized I was falling for you. Please forgive the following sentence if it seems "off" at all, but… I don't think I've spent enough time with you to even consider getting bored with our relationship. You're still such a wonderful presence in my life, and I just can't see that changing. And I think as long as I feel this way, and as long as you're still in love with me, we'll be alright.

I'm so sorry for the hurt my comment caused. I hope we can work past it.

Shinji

Rei looked up at Shinji with tears in her eyes. He looked pretty tired – clean and well-shaven, but he had faint dark marks under his eyes and his eyelids looked pretty heavy. He looked even more anxious than before, leaning over slightly as if waiting for a reply.

Turning the letter over, she wrote a few words on the back before passing it back to an anxious Shinji.

I can barely even remember last night, but even if I did, I would have no doubt that you mean every word you said this morning. I love you too, more than I could ever describe in words.

It took a few moments for Shinji to register Rei's words, but a wave of relief washed over him. Tears welled up in his eyes as he caught himself on the kitchen counter, and Rei laughed nervously as he regained his composure.

Leaning across the counter between them, Rei put her arms around Shinji's neck. The pair quickly dissolved into tears as the tense situation they'd built up washed away.

"Oh God, I love you so much," Rei sobbed into Shinji's shoulder. Putting his arms around her shoulders, Shinji squeezed her tight as he whispered what he could to her through his own tears.

When the pair calmed down, it was already past noon. Grabbing some coffee for both of them, Shinji reclined against one end of the kitchen while Rei sat at the counter on the opposite side. Taking the opportunity to eat something, she picked up a piece of beef.

"...Umm, Shinji?"

"Yeah?" Looking up from his coffee, Shinji met her gaze.

Shyly, she spoke.

"…I don't want to sound picky, but I think you under-seasoned the beef a little bit."

AN: Jesus Christ that was a shift and a half. I had a sudden change of heart – I wanted to put something out for Valentine's Day, so I crammed as hard as I could and threw this together.

I'm still thinking of having a break, of course, but this chapter fixes a large component of my writer's block – I'm not confined to the flashback any more. I'm a little more free, so if I feel up to it, I'll be able to start on a new plot thread when I feel like it. I'll write about this a bit more extensively on the story's Tumblr (a-shared-existence [-dot-] tumblr [-dot-] com) if you want to get the full lowdown.

This isn't a certified return to A Shared Existence – it's a surprise, last-minute gift for Valentine's Day. I put this together in roughly 3 hours, with minimal editing, so it may be a bit rough around the edges. I'm sorry if that's the case. Otherwise – happy Valentine's Day from myself and the lovebirds, and I'll see you guys around when I see you. I honestly appreciate your readership.