A/N so yeah I'm waiting on death threats. This is another chapter. and if you keep your fingers crossed I could have another one out shortly. Please Review and let me know what you think.

Stacy

Chapter 11

The next morning I awoke feeling a little more rejuvenated than I thought possible. Then I remember how I had spent the day before laying in Mark's arms. Every time I had awoken from a sweaty bout of chills and fever he would always be there. Cool cloth in hand, wiping at the beads of perspiration as it formed on my face and arms.

Rolling over, I find myself looking next to me to see if he is there and growing disappointed when all I find is the empty white linens. Had it all been a dream? Had I been longing so much to have him there that I conjured him up? Or had it been Glen and in my medicinal induced state I pictured it being the one person I wanted him to be?

I can hear heavy footsteps pound their way up the wooden staircase outside my door, and I sit up in excitement. Is it Mark or Glen? In my heart I am praying for Mark to come back to me, but as the door comes open my heart sinks as Glen struggles to make his way through the door with a tray in his hands.

"Mornin' Princess." He greats me cheerfully when he looks up and sees me sitting up in the bed.

Slumping down in the comfort of my covers, I tuck them around me and make room for the lap tray he is bringing in and sigh. "Morning." I answer him in a low voice, as I raise arms up so he can set the small table over my legs.

Not even bothering to look up at him, I pick up the spoon and dip it into the oatmeal he had brought be for breakfast. I want to ask him if Mark had been here. I need to know if it had all been a dream. Could the medication cause me to hallucinate?

"Hey now, what's wrong?" He asks me sitting down on the end of the bed at my feet.

Shrugging my shoulders, I drop the spoon into the bowl and push it away and lean back against the headboard. I don't want to tell him that I am disappointed that he is the one that walked through my door. I can't explain to him that I am happy that he dropped everything in his life for a week to come and help me, but yet it isn't him that I want to see. It wouldn't be right.

I hear him sigh, and I close my eyes and lean my head back. I don't know what to think of the situation. I don't know how to handle my own feelings anymore. I had been happy the day before when Mark talked to me. It had been so easy to be with him after he had poured his heart out to me, but I don't know if it was real. In my heart it had been everything that I needed to make me feel like it could be worth it, and yet it ended to so quickly. Too quickly.

"Mark left this morning…" Glen blurts out to me. Opening my eyes I lift my head and stare at him. "We talked a lot yesterday while you were sleeping. Chey, I don't know what to tell you."

I watch as Glen raises a hand and rubs it absently over the stubble on his shaven head. What does he mean that he left? That he doesn't know what to tell me? I'm confused and I don't know what to say… Mark told me several times that he wasn't going to let me go again. He kept telling me over and over that he loved me. What happened?

Licking my dry lips, I swallow hard at the lump that is trying to form in my throat. "Where did he go?" I choke.

Shaking his head, Glen jumps up from the bed and moves to the window. His silence is disconcerting. "I don't know… At first I thought he was going to be OK. I have no idea what changed, but sometime in the night he just left."

Nodding my head, I feel myself grow numb. I had told him several times that I didn't think he needed to be there. That it would be better off for him to not see me like this. He had argued with me, but now I think that he might have realized how right I had been. That sometime during the day while he had been caring for me he must have come to the conclusion that he couldn't see me go through this.

Looking over his shoulder at me, Glen's eyes meet mine. I can see his fear and his worry for me in their hazel depths. "He didn't leave a note or nothing… I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I tell him flatly. "I asked him to go."

Reaching out, I pick up the tray and hold it out to him to take. I find that I am no longer hungry and I wait patiently as he collects himself and comes over. "Why would you do that?" He asks me as he lifts the tray out of my hands. " I figured you guys would work things out."

Throwing back the covers I fight to think of something other than the fact that I had lost him again. This time I don't know why. I wasn't the one that walked away this time. Why would he come here and say such magical and wonderful things to me, only to turn around and leave while I slept? Why would he be the one that made promises only to break them in the blink of an eye.

Stopping short from standing up it hit me. It is over. As much as seeing him yesterday had changed my mind about him being with me during this time, I had already ended the relationship for us. I DID this. I could not blame him for his decision. I made it for him when I walked away first.

Swiping angrily at the tears that I didn't know had fallen, I stand up from the side of the bed and glance quickly at Glen before my emotions bring me to my knees. I feel Glen's strong arms wrap around me and pull my body against him. His soft soothing voice whispering to me as he rocks me.

"W-why is it when I want him gone, he shows up and wh-when I want him to stay he leaves?" I ask brokenly, the last of my words barely coming out in a whisper.

"I have no idea." Glen answers, his voice thick with his own emotions. "You should know by now, Princess that Mark does things in his own time. He doesn't realize the communication that needs to go along with his actions."

"I love him, Glen…I really do." I admit pushing away from him and wiping at my wet face. "He said such beautiful things to me yesterday, I just need to understand why he would do that and leave me."

Reaching out, he cups my face in his palm and wipes at the salty streaks on my cheek, his eyes holding a strong look of concern. "I hate to say this, but I'm sure he had his reasons. Chey, above all else Mark is a man of pride. I'm sure he can comprehend why you left him in the first place now, but think of how hard it's gotta be for him to look at you and face all of those feelings he'd had in the past few months… overnight.

"I know he loves you." He continues with a sad sigh. "I've grown to love you like a sister and even with that love it's taken me a few days to forgive you and understand. Just give him time."

Pouting at him with a shake of my head, I know and feel in my heart that he's right. Above all else Glen has always been a voice of reason in my mind. Anytime something's gone wrong I've always turned to his and Marti's voices in my head. They've always done right by me and now is no different, but my heart just isn't so sure. "I hope your right, Glen… It just better not take him too long."

Sitting back away from him, I lean against the side of the bed and blow out a heavy breath and turn my head to face the clock. Reading it's numbers I realize that I should be getting ready for my treatment, however for the first time in years I feel myself grow rebellious, like I'd rather skip it like I used to skip school in the old days when I just didn't feel like dealing with my teachers shit.

Glen must've seen the clock too, because before I know it he's on his feet and tugging on my hands to follow. "Time to get ready to go." He tells me as he finally gets me up.

Shaking my head at him, I release his hands and plop back down on the bed and pull the covers over me. "I'm not going…" I inform him matter-of-factly and close my eyes behind the white sheet.

"Yes you are." Suddenly the blankets are torn off the bed and he is grasping my arm in an effort to get me moving.

Snatching my arm back, I glare at him angrily. "No. I'm not." The words hissing between my clenched teeth.

"Why wouldn't you go?"

Looking up at him, it's all I can do to keep from scratching his eyes out at having the gall to even ask me that. "I am tired of it Glen! I am tired of finally getting some strength back only to go and be hooked up to an IV and being injected with something that is supposed to be making me better and yet all I feel is worse!" I huff at him and move to the other side of the bed. "I am so sick of people poking and prodding at me like I'm some kind of experiment. I'm fucking human and yet all everyone can see, including myself, is a walking cancer stick."

Jumping from him when he reaches out for me, I feel my anger grow. "I want my fucking life back. I want to wrestle again. I want my friends back. I want to be able to have the choice where kids are concerned. No more dizzy spells. No more puking all fuckin' night long. I am finished with this shit… Do you hear me? FINISHED!"

Storming from the room, I hear a string of curses flow from him and I opt not to care. Why should I? No one has thought about what all of this has been doing to me. Instead, it's been about how everyone else has been feeling. Well, I am done with that now. I am going to continue to make myself happy one way or another. If that means that I will end up like the guy from the movie "Dying Young" then so be it.

"GET you ass back here, Chey!"

The angry tone in Glen's voice breaks my mental tirade and I feel myself stop and look up at him before I completely make it down the stairs. His face is unreadable. A mask of anger and sternness like he won't accept anything less than my utter compliance, but again I am not having it and I smirk at him. "Fuck you, Glen." The words fall flat, as I continue to storm through the house.

"What the HELL!" He screams at me before his heavily weighted steps follow me. "What has gotten into you? First you are all tears and wanting to understand Mark and now you are taking everything out on me… I don't deserve this, Chey, and if you think for one second I'm going to stand here and take it you're dead wrong."

Spinning on my heal, I can't help but glare at him. "See that is where you get out easy isn't? It would take nothing for you to just step out of my life. I would LOVE to do that right about now. To walk away and act like none of this his happening to me or around me… but I can't. See this is MY reality, Glen."

"I would loathe every step I'd have to take out that door, Chey. It wouldn't be something I would want, but damn it I'll not stand here and watch you turn your back on life!"

"It's not life I'm turning my back on, Glen… It's what it's taking to keep my life that I'm turning my back on. It's the fact that to keep me well, I'm having to get sicker. Don't you see, it SO isn't worth it. If I won't be able to enjoy my life once this is over, what's the use in trying? What friends I had surely hate me. We know Mark isn't coming back… SO tell me GLEN, what's there to fight for?"

His mouth falls open like he wants to say something to me, but he closes it back and I laugh scornfully at his lack of words. "My point exactly." I tell him, turning again and heading out of the house.

"You didn't prove a damn thing, Chey." His voice barks behind me once I reach the driveway and I didn't even hear him following me. Spinning around, I come face to face with his chest. Peering up into his angry red face I can see his nostrils flaring in his attempt to stay calm. "The only thing that you've come even close to showing me… is how truly fuckin' stubborn you can be."

"You ain't seen nothing yet." I growl at him and turn getting into the passenger side of the van. It took him just a minute, but then he realized what I'd done and what I'd been waiting on and he got into the van and started it up.