Thank you so much for the comments, favs and follows! I have literally been working on this all day and that's just to finish it. I've been working on this chapter for weeks but am finally finished. I had huge tests after the winter break but I'm now done so I have 3 weeks without homework or obligations. I hope to post some other stories because they've been months in the making and I really want to share them.
I'm so behind on these chapters. It's probably because I make them much too long but it just happens! This chapter is over 5000 words which is crazy and the most it's ever been because I got a little carried away. I just watched tonight's episode and have also started that chapter. So I have the next two partly started but just like for this chapter that doesn't promise a speedy post, sorry.
It's complicated to write scenes with lots of people in them. I tried to give them all equal amounts of attention but of course that didn't happen because I just find some characters easier to write. I hope some of the transitions aren't too confusing because I didn't put page breaks some places since it all occurs in the same room but let me know if I should. There is an add-on part for the episode and then a sort of Christmas bonus (weeks after Christmas).
This picks up after the eleventh episode of season 9, All Is Bright (9x11).
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS:LA.
"Where's Callen going?" Deeks asked as he watched Callen leave the mission.
"He had something to do." Sam said.
That seemed like a vague answer but he just let it go. "Alright."
"Well the decorations look beautiful and the eggnog is delicious." Kensi held up her cup to Nell.
"Really good." Sam added.
"Thanks." Nell said.
"It feels good to celebrate once in awhile." Sam said sincerely. The year had been incredibly hard and they needed some time to celebrate the good.
"Cheers to that."
"Cheers!" The group said collectively.
"I'm glad I'm back this year." Kensi looked at the group.
"Yeah but you came for the party last year." Sam commented remembering that she had come after the party had started.
"I know but I didn't really feel like part of the team."
"What? Kens? That's ridiculous." Nell said.
"I realize that now and you guys gave me the most thoughtful gifts but I was pretty down." Deeks wrapped his arm around her waist.
"You never said anything." Sam said sadly.
"This girl likes to keep all her emotions bottled up." Deeks bumped Kensi's shoulder.
"What I was simply saying was that I'm happy to be here with everyone and Callen, who had to leave."
"Well, we're happy you're back to yourself and we're also happy to have two new members here for this year's Christmas party." Sam said to Mosley and Hidoko.
"Thank you Sam."
Kensi looked around at the decorations hung high and low in the mission. "There are so many memories here."
"Oh I know, I've been here eight years and I can't believe it's already been so long. My whole life has changed here." He looked at Kensi. It was true his whole world was flipped the moment he met Kensi. There was something about her that changed his perspective on life. From agreeing to be her partner, learning to trust each other, falling in love with her or getting engaged, everything had made him a better man and a better person.
"I remember when we first started the Christmas palm tree tradition, it's been there every year since."
"Our Californian Christmas tree."
"The year you had to find that pony or something for Kam." Deeks brought up.
"It was crucial that I found it."
"And then Eric did." Nell said and smiled at him, knowing now that it had actually been his collector's item but he'd given it to Sam.
"You really saved Christmas that year Eric. It could have been a disaster."
"I'm glad." Eric smiled.
"One year we were all stuck on that ship and couldn't be home for Christmas."
"I know but it was still a great Christmas." Deeks said.
"I agree, we made the most out of it and it was fun." She remembered that she had had the greatest time with Deeks and Callen. "Sam got home on time."
"Yes, thankfully. Wouldn't have wanted to miss Christmas with my family."
"Last year when Michelle made dinner…" Kensi was hesitant to bring it up but it was a good memory and it made Sam smile. "That's a really nice evening."
"That was a really good Christmas. I had my entire family there." He continued. "And your Moms." He added and everyone laughed. Their Moms had seemed to be best buds plotting out their children's future at the Hanna house Christmas dinner.
"Oh my god, don't even say another word. It was so awkward."
"There's nothing awkward about caring mothers."
"Speak for yourself."
"They were teaming up." Kensi and Deeks both tried to defend.
"They were not, they were just getting to know each other."
"Pff, are you kidding me? They have our entire future planned."
"It's sweet." Nell tried.
"That's true." Sam agreed with Nell. "Somebody's got to get the ball rolling on your future preparations."
"Hey, we know what we want for our future… or we've at least talked about it." Deeks said and Kensi chuckled. They talk a lot but never come to a real conclusion.
Mosley and Hidoko listened to all the stories they were telling, hearing what the team had been through, the traditions that were necessary every year and how they spent time outside of work like a family.
"When we went ice-skating…"
"That year was amazing!" Deeks practically shouted and Kensi smiled up at him. It was the Christmas they went all in and became a couple. They weren't sure when the rest of the team caught onto their relationship but they were pretty confident that it wasn't near Christmas.
"We weren't there." Eric said.
"No, I think you guys went to visit Nell's family."
"Do you remember that one year Hetty regifted all her gifts?"
"Oh yes!" She couldn't contain her laugh. "I couldn't believe it."
"I got some nice things out of that since you guys weren't grateful." Deeks said.
"We had given her those nice things with great thought and she just gave them away again." The group was hysterical thinking about it. Of course the alcohol helped. Their slightly drunken state made everything more funny.
"So funny." As their laughs died down.
"Oh Hetty, where are you?" They sobered up. They all wondered when or if they would ever see her again. The silence turned awkward as they looked at each other.
"I say we call it a night." Mosley said putting her drink down. "It's getting pretty late and you all need to find a way home safely."
"Yeah."
"Goodnight guys."
"Night."
"I'm good to drive, I only had one eggnog but I don't know about this one." Deeks called behind him to the team as he led Kensi to the exit.
"Hey, they just kept offering, I couldn't say no."
"Excuses, excuses."
"What?! It's true."
"Alright, get in the car. I'll help you."
"I'm not that drunk. I can do it."
She went to open the car door but it wouldn't work so she just laughed. "Apparently not."
"That's because I haven't unlocked it yet."
"Got that."
"Come on, we gotta get home to bed so Santa can come."
This year they had gone all out with the decorations. Last year Kensi hadn't felt like doing much, she was feeling a little down and left out of the team but this year she was completely involved. They had picked out a nice tree and put it in the corner with lots of decorations on it. Deeks had hung many different Christmas lights on their house and Kensi had made Christmas cookies again. He has noticed lately how often he tends to compare every event this year with the same time last year. Just seeing the difference, he hoped 2018 would give them the full fresh start they needed.
He was in the kitchen making their Christmas-morning breakfast. It would be just the two of them for the morning but their mothers would be joining later in the afternoon to team up and make Christmas dinner.
"I call these Christmas frittatas." He had made sure to have the red and green peppers at the top for the holiday colors to show.
She came over to sit at the table and smelled the frittatas. "I'll never get sick of these. They're amazing."
"Thank you my love."
They started eating and Kensi couldn't keep in the sounds of delight. "Mmm." He enjoyed watching her eat his frittatas because the reaction was always the same. "What?" She looked at him.
"Nothing." He shook his head.
She ignored his weird behavior. "Are you excited to open your present?"
"Very much."
"Good."
She continued to eat but he had stopped to think. "I've been wondering about something for a while now."
She put down her fork, hearing the seriousness in his voice. "What?"
"Why'd you take the lamb?"
She rolled her eyes. "Really? I already told you. It was dirty and I was going to clean it and bring it back."
"Do you really think I believe that?"
"Do you?" She asked distractedly. She slowly met his eyes again and saw the smirk. "It was adorable."
"Alright, if you say so." He was amused.
"It was." She said softly.
"That's my girly girl."
She stuck her tongue out at him. "I am a girl."
"Don't I know it." He agreed.
They finished their breakfast and moved to sit on the floor in front of the Christmas tree.
She reached under the tree for his gift. "Here is your present." She handed him a box.
"Oh, it's heavy." He lifted it up and down getting a feel for the box. "What is it?"
"Open it and find out."
He tore the paper off quickly. "A Playstation." He looked shocked. "You said we had to keep it simple, one not very expensive gift."
"Yeah well, I already had it before you started mentioning it this week." She said. "And it's pretty pricey so that's why I wanted us to give each other one thing."
He looked at the box. "There's a game so technically it's two presents."
"No, the game is included, therefore one present." She had to be correct. "I knew you wanted it. It's not like you've been ogling this set every store we go." She said sarcastically.
"Kens, this is great. Thank you so much." He leaned in and kissed her.
"You're welcome."
He looked back to the small gift under the tree that was for her. "Baby, this gift is so much more expensive than what I got you. Now I feel bad."
"I don't care what it is Deeks. I'll love it cause it's from you."
"Remember that." He laughed as he handed her the envelope.
She opened it quickly and stared at its contents. Inside were two train tickets and a hotel reservation for San Luis Obispo. Just like he had been hinting at the playstation, Kensi had kept mentioning a trip up to there.
"It's just a small weekend getaway."
"This is amazing Deeks." She looked at the tickets. "I've wanted to do this all year."
"It's kind of unfair cause it's for both of us but…"
"It's perfect." She whispered. "Thank you." She hugged him tightly and didn't want to let go but he pushed her back a little so he could kiss her. As the kiss deepened, they slowly shifted so that she was laying on her back and Deeks was hovering above her. "Don't you want to set up your playstation?" She said between kisses.
"I can wait a little bit." He kissed her fiercely again. The playstation could wait till later.
She moved her head. "Are you sure?"
"Mhm." He just continued to kiss her but she stopped him again. "Kens, I love your gift but I love you more. Just let me love you right now."
"Wait!" She smiled widely and reached for something that was laying on the floor next to them and put it on him. "Sexy Santa."
"You like that." He was wearing a Santa hat now.
"Mhm."
"I've been undercover as Santa a couple times now."
"I know. You're so handsome."
"It's true, I'm irresistible,"
She giggled. "I love you so much."
"I love you more."
"I don't think that's possible." She smiled.
"Then I love you equally as much as you love me."
Her face turned serious. "Yeah, so much." He leaned down and kissed her again passionately. They spent the next few hours showing just how much they loved each other.
Kensi and Deeks had invited everyone over for Christmas dinner or to come afterwards since some of them had plans. The Moms always made too much food so it would be self-serve for everyone who wanted. Sam had agreed to come after his dinner with the kids and Callen after dinner with Finn. Eric and Nell had come a little earlier because they didn't have anywhere else to be this year and they were currently sitting in the living room.
The doorbell rang and Deeks went to open it. "Sam-dawg! Merry Christmas!" Deeks said enthusiastically letting him in. "Hey guys." He added to Kam and Aiden.
"Deeks." Aiden and Deeks gave each other a bro-hug.
"Kensi!" Kam rushed through the door to give Kensi a big hug. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, Kam. How are you? How's school?"
"It's great. I've made so many friends."
"I'm glad."
"And Daddy decorated the boat but we're staying at a hotel this year and the rooms are really nice." She was speaking so fast.
"That's fun."
"Come in, have a seat." Deeks pointed to the couch.
"Are Mosley and Hidoko coming?" Sam wondered.
"We invited them but they said they couldn't come."
"Hm." That was all Sam said. He moved to sit down and greeted everybody else.
"There's food on the table but I'm sure you're stuffed."
"We are."
"Got a new playstation from Kensi, so we can play a game." Deeks said. He'd gotten it all set up this afternoon. Eric was already in full game mode and Nell was talking to Julia.
"I'll join in the next round." Aiden said as he moved closer to the second controller.
Not a minute later the doorbell rang again. Deeks jumped up and opened the door for Callen. "Hey! Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas Deeks."
"Hey, G." Sam stood up to greet his partner. "How was dinner with Finn?"
"It was great."
"Yeah?"
"I got to learn a bit more about him."
"Lot of similarities?"
"Yes there are." He didn't look like he was going to say anything more so Sam let it go.
"Can I get you guys something to drink?" Kensi asked.
"Sure." They requested their drinks and took a seat.
"So you having a good staycation at the hotel?" Eric asked Aiden.
"Oh yeah for sure, the room's nice, the dinner's good and they have a pool."
"That's great."
"Much better than being crammed on a boat with my sister."
Eric laughed. "Yeah, the boat's pretty small for three people."
"Tell me about it. She has too many things."
"Mind if I join?"
"Course not." Aiden reached for the third controller and handed it to Deeks.
"So how's school going? Where are you going again?"
"United States Naval Academy in Annapolis."
"That's in Maryland right?"
"Yeah it is."
"How's that?"
"It's going really well. I'm very happy."
"I'm so glad to hear that."
"Would you boys like something to drink?" Roberta came over to ask them.
"No thank you. Nell's already getting it for me."
"Yeah, Kensi's getting mine."
"Martin?"
"I can get it Momma."
"No, no you're in the middle of a game. I'll go get you your drink."
"Thank you."
"How are you doing Nell?" Kensi asked as walked into the kitchen and saw Nell standing there facing the kitchen counter.
"I'm okay." She said softly not looking up or turning around.
Kensi could tell that something wasn't okay. "What's wrong?" She approached her and tried to look her in the face.
She shrugged her shoulders. "Just sad that I didn't get to visit my family this year. I didn't go last year so…"
"I understand." She didn't have to explain, Kensi knew exactly how important family was to Nell and video-chatting just couldn't make up for missing out on spending time together.
"It sounds so selfish when not everyone's family is complete anymore." She was referring to Michelle no longer being with them.
"Nell, that's not selfish…" She got cut off.
"But I get to spend it with this part of my family and Eric… Eric." Kensi recognized that voice. It was a voice filled with care, support and love. "I don't know what I'd do without him." Kensi smiled. She felt the exact same way about Deeks.
"What are you girls doing hiding in the kitchen?" Roberta's voice cut in. Kensi turned around quickly.
"Just talking."
Roberta looked at the person facing the counter. "Are you okay Nell?" She made her way over and touched her back softly. Her Motherly instincts were kicking in for her son's friends.
"Just really miss my family."
"Oh Kensi told me your family lives back East." Nell nodded. "You don't get to see them very often."
She shook her head. "No."
"That can be so hard."
"It is but I'm grateful I have this family."
"Yes you do, you have the team, your friends…" Nell sniffled. "And you have Eric, don't you?" Roberta asked implying that he was more than just an ordinary friend. Nell smiled as she nodded. "You keep that boy, he's a good one."
She perked up a little. "I know."
"You guys both lucked out in the guy department." Roberta said as she pulled Kensi closer to her and wrapping one arm around her without letting go of Nell's hand with the other.
"We sure did." Kensi couldn't keep the smile off her face.
"Hey, I was wondering what was taking so long." Eric stood there looking at all of them.
"Your girl just got side tracked." Eric blushed slightly at the term Roberta used but he couldn't really object and Nell chuckled as she wiped the last tear away. She turned to get their drinks and then handed one to him.
"Here you go."
"Everything okay?" He could sense that he stepped into an emotional conversation.
"Yeah, I'll tell you later." She reassured him and they walked back to the rest of the group.
Roberta still with her arm around Kensi spoke. "We better get the rest of the guys their drinks."
"Definitely."
"Is this beef?" Aiden asked looking at the food in the pan.
"Yeah, help yourself. There's plates at the end." Deeks pointed to all the utensils at the end of the dining room table.
"You just had a three-course meal and you're still hungry." Sam said incredulously.
"What can I say Dad?"
"You're like Kensi." Deeks laughed.
"Someone say my name." Kensi handed Deeks his drink and then brought the other to Callen.
"The food looks delicious."
"You gotta thank the Moms for that." Deeks said smiling to his Momma.
They all sat down again in the living room, Aiden with his plate filled with food. "Ah this reminds me of Mom's pot-roast, I loved it so much."
Kamran looked at her brother as he enjoyed the food. "How can you be so cheery about it?"
"Kam." Sam warned. The room went silent and looked at them. It had been hard on all of them but she has definitely shown the most struggle on the outside.
"We all know how tough this must be on you." Julia said sympathetically.
"It's been a really hard year and now the holidays are especially difficult. First Christmas without her." He looked over to Kam, who had a very sad look. "Oh come here." He could see the tears starting but once she was in his arms she was fully sobbing. "I know…" He tried to calm her down.
She had her face buried in her Dad's shoulder embarrassed that she was crying in front of everybody. "Why is everyone quiet?" She barely choked out.
"It's okay to cry Kam." Kensi said as she had been sitting next to Sam on the couch. She knew that she was contradicting herself exactly with how she dealt with things but she felt the need to comfort Kam.
"Everybody's looking now." Kam was correct the whole room was watching.
"That's just because we all care about you." She moved a strand of hair out of Kam's face. "You have nothing to be embarrassed about."
"She's right Kam." Her Dad said reassuringly.
The rest of the people took the hint and started up their small conversations again, letting Kensi and Sam talk to her privately. "It's just not the same without her."
"I totally understand." Kensi said sympathetically.
Kam lifted her head up slightly on her Dad's shoulder just so her eyes could look at Kensi. "Your Dad?"
Kensi nodded. "Yeah… it's really hard losing someone you care about."
Kam agreed. It was the worst. When she finally slowed her tears, she lifted her head up a little more.
"Why don't we go frost some cookies for everyone?"
It took her a moment to respond. "Okay." She removed herself from her Dad's arms and followed Kensi to the kitchen.
Sam watched them walk away and was amazed. "She's come such a long way since I met her."
"Kensi, you mean?" Julia asked.
"Yes, I remember a few years ago she was freaked out to babysit my kids." He let out a hearty laugh. "She only agreed to do it if Deeks could help her. The kids had the greatest time with them and now look at her, comforting Kam like a pro."
"I agree. She's matured even in just these few years we've reconnected.
"They're going to be great parents, both in their own way."
"That's for sure." She looked behind her to see if she could watch them but they were further in the kitchen than was visible from the living room. "I'm going to go check on them."
"Sorry to bring down the happy Christmas mood." She wiped her nose with her hand. "I was fine at school but then coming home again and seeing some of her things on the boat or walking somewhere we used to go. It's all memories and they make me sad."
Kensi watched the teen struggle with her emotions, knowing exactly how she felt. "That never ends Kam, but I promise it gets better. You'll think of them as happy memories. Just like Aiden. It just takes everyone a different amount of time and that's okay. Some days are going to be harder than others and that's okay too because you're allowed to be sad sometimes but you also need to be happy." It may have been something Kensi struggled with a lot. After her Dad died she shut everybody out and ran away not giving her much to be happy about. "It's important to talk about it with the people you love. And not to judge each other for being more… or less emotional about something." She'd seen Kam's scolding behavior towards Aiden when he seemed to enjoy remembering his mother's pot-roast. "There is no mandatory timeline for these types of things, it'll happen when it happens."
Kam nodded as a few new tears dropped down her cheeks.
Julia watched Kensi and Kam who were so deep in conversation that they weren't aware of anything happening around them. She saw her daughter reassuring the teenager by getting her tissues to wipe her tears and filling a cup with water.
"Better?" Kensi asked.
"Yes." She stood there for a moment and then spoke again. "Thank you Kensi." Wrapping her arms around her hugging her with a completely different intensity than the hug from when she came in.
Kensi was surprised at first but then hugged her back. She'd honestly just been trying to make Kam feel better but was overwhelmed by the pride and confidence she suddenly felt within her. She was handling a situation she didn't find herself in very often. But before she could reminisce in her own thoughts for too long, she remembered what they came into the kitchen for. "Let's wash our hands and decorate some cookies."
Releasing from each other's embrace, they went to the sink and washed their hands thoroughly. Kensi handed her a towel to dry her hands and then walked over to the counter. "Which color should I use?"
"Whichever one you want. You can use them all." Kensi started taking the lids off the red, green and white frosting. "I have sprinkles too."
They were busy decorating and rearranging them on a plate. "My Mom also made Christmas cookies each year but always the shape of Christmas trees." Kam smiled softly.
"Oh I remember they were amazing. I had so many of them last year."
Kam laughed. "Me too… and always with milk."
"Do you want some now?"
"Yes, please."
"Here, you go take this and put it on the coffee table and I'll get you your milk." She handed her the plate of cookies.
"Okay."
Kam walked away and that was when she saw her mother approaching. "You're going to be an amazing mother." She said right off the bat.
"Mom…"
"I'm just saying, if or when you and Marty decide to have children, you have nothing to worry about because you're going to be great Kensi."
"Thanks Mom. And I hope that's true cause I'm kind of freaking out about that thought. I don't feel prepared at all and I don't know that I ever will be."
"Kens, nobody's ever prepared for parenthood. Even after you have children, you'll still doubt yourself at least once a day, asking if what you're doing is best for your baby. You just go with the flow and take everything as it comes." Kensi looked absolutely horrified. "Don't let me talk you out of it, this is supposed to make you feel better about parenting." She touched Kensi's arm. "Sweetheart, having you was the most amazing thing in my life. Watching you learn and grow was incredible. It also made me see a whole new side to your father and I respected him even more after that, if that's even possible. I am so proud of the woman you've become and knowing that I had even a very small part in that makes me happy. I love you so much."
"I love you too Mom and thank you." She whispered as she hugged her. She couldn't believe she was having a same kind of conversation she'd just had with Kam. A pep-talk of sorts, reassuring her that everything would be okay. She couldn't help but think that she might possibly have this conversation with her daughter someday. It was something she'd been debating in her head and even mentally preparing herself for but she wasn't ready to commit to one path of life just yet, she was keeping her options open. "There's a lot to consider."
They pulled apart only enough to look each other in the eyes. "That's true but you don't have to do that tonight." She insisted. "Now let's get back to the group."
"Okay, I'll be there in a sec, I have to get Kam a glass of milk."
When she walked back into the living room, she gave the glass to Kam and had to wait for Deeks, who was putting back a picture frame, to move so she could get back to her seat.
"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" Kam started.
"What?"
It got the attention of everybody else and the rest also joined in. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
Kensi looked around at them and could see that Deeks looked just as confused as she felt. Kam pointed up at the ceiling and then they saw what it was, a mistletoe.
She looked around the room again to see where it had come from and Nell looked suspicious, not making eye contact with her. They'd never shown too much affection in front of the whole team, at least not on purpose. There was that one time in the car when they hadn't noticed Sam and Callen behind them. They just liked to save their affection for back home but then again, they were home.
They looked at each other awkwardly but then got devilish smiles on their faces. They leaned in slowly but then pecked each other on the lips very quickly and stepped apart.
"No!"
"Ah come on!"
"That wasn't a real kiss." The group shouted their disapproval of their short peck on the lips.
"That was totally a real kiss." Kensi argued.
"No it was not." Sam was adamant. "Do it right this time."
They looked at each other again and smiled softly. Deeks moved in closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Are we really going to do this?"
"I think so." She said nervously.
He tugged her closer and leaned in for the kiss. She moved her hands to his cheeks to deepen the kiss but didn't want it to go too far. It was magical and felt much longer than it probably was. Cheers and whistles were heard throughout the entire room. When they pulled apart, Kensi was completely embarrassed and hid her face in Deeks' chest.
"I can't believe we just did that in front of everybody." Her voice was muffled in his shirt.
"But we sure did, Princess."
"Let's make a toast." Sam held up his glass and everyone followed his lead. "To family."
"To friends." Callen said.
"To partners." Deeks added looking at Kensi.
"To love." Nell said as she stood awfully close to Eric.
"To a better year in 2018 and to new beginnings." Sam said softly.
"To new beginnings." They repeated.
They may not all have had the same upbringing or be connected by blood but they were their own kind of, slightly dysfunctional, family and that is what mattered.
Boy, did Kensi spend a lot of time in the kitchen talking to the other women at the party hahaha don't know why that happened anyways, thanks for reading!