11. The puzzle pieces

The whole Team Flash was incredibly busy – they had several databases being searched at one time, looking for any thugs related to Fisk based on the clues they had found in his mind, Barry was bringing people in and out as if it was nothing, Cisco was erasing memories as if it was a second nature to him, Harry apparently couldn't resist watching them work like a control freak and Caitlin was watching over all of them, making sure they didn't pass out. Which was a valid worry, given just how much calories Barry was burning with all the running and heavy lifting (Matt had no clue how he was able to carry a man like Fisk himself) and Cisco's mental exhaustion was getting the best of him; still, they kept working relentlessly.

Matt was still out of the loop though, not participating for obvious reasons of wanting to murder all of Fisk's men. He tried a different strategy this time around; he busied himself with his phone. The amount of missed calls and texts was impressive to say at least. Matt had no intention to call every single of the people though – he had no energy for that.

He sent a text to everyone who cared – Karen and Foggy, Claire, Trish and Jessica, Terri and Nina… as well as to Vera's brother. He hoped it would buy him some time to make a few calls, because there were people on that list that would not be satisfied with a simple text.

He started with Terri.

"What the fuck Murdock?!" she hissed to the phone instead of a greeting. She sounded pissed and desperate, causing Matt's gut twist in guilt. As in more guilt than he had felt until that moment.

Matt massaged the bridge of his nose before answering.

"Hey, Terri-"

"You can't just call me, asking about seeing anything about Vera and hang up when I say no! I knew something was wrong when she didn't show up at work and now there are news about Fisk breaking from prison, his re-arrest in a warehouse where there was a puddle of blood, but no injured person and—and-" she sobbed, making Matt wince in sympathy. "I didn't see anything, Matt. Why didn't I see anything? It's her, isn't it? He took her and-"

Despite being at the bottom of a pit at the moment, something in Matt quirked. He felt a sudden urge to comfort her despite needing a soothing care by himself. He blamed Vera for that; he knew what she would want to do if- if she was conscious. Matt ignored the twist which the reminder gave his stomach, his hand absently running through her hair. Terri had no reason to feel guilty.

Also, clearly she hadn't read his text yet, because otherwise she would know it was indeed Vera the media were talking about.

"Terri, calm down. It's okay. You're not… you're not able to tell your powers to work on command. It's not… it's not your fault."

He wasn't even lying. No matter how frustrated he was that the poor woman didn't see Vera's kidnapping, he couldn't even be mad at her. There were several people to blame, Fisk at the top, sharing the place with Matt, but Terri… Terri wasn't on the list.

The barista sniffled into the phone, her voice still shaking.

"Vera? How- how is she? Is she gonna be okay? Did he- what did he do? What did that bastard do to my best friend?"

'She's barely making a sound when the blade cuts through her skin and flesh too. All of this… it got me wonder, what would change if she wasn't able to speak. Tell me, how does a blind man communicate with a mute person?'

'Maybe she will stay by your side to suffer silently…'

'Perhaps if she was paralyzed, unable to move from her neck down, unable to speak… a little spine injury in the right place, a little clot in her brain maybe. We humans are so fragile, aren't we?'

Fisk's words echoed in Matt's head, his heart racing in his ribcage, his blood boiling and freezing at the same time, making his ears ring.

What if he had succeeded? What if they had been too late, rushing to the rescue? What if he had done some damage Doctor Snow had missed and Vera wouldn't… wouldn't be the same, ever?

She won't. She was kidnapped by a psychopath and cut open, you dick. She will never be the same, having scars – on her psychics, on her body. Even if the doctor didn't miss a thing, there is enough of consequences already.

His mind closed itself in a loop, a picture of Vera strapped to a bed forever turning his stomach upside down.

"Matt!" Terri urged over the phone and Matt shook away the tears of rage and regret in his eyes, forcing himself to uncurl his fists.

He had a distant feeling Terri wasn't trying to get his attention for the first time.

"Sorry," he rasped, fighting the lump grown in his throat. "Sorry, she… she's out for now. Stitched up. She—she lost a lot of blood, needed a transfusion. They made several tests and it seems that… that beside multiple cuts and a mild concussion, she should… she should be fine, but God, Terri, he-…"

He pressed his lips together, his nails digging into his palm. His world was spinning.

"…what, Matt?" Terri asked, horror in her voice. "What did he do?"

"She's—she's been fucking sliced—there are so many cuts, Terri, he-"

He could hear her breathing hitch, the sharp inhale, the grind of her teeth and he wanted to scream.

This was on him. Vera had been taken because of her connection to him. And she almost died. She was still fighting for her life.

"Where are you, Matt?"

He breathed in shakily, taken aback by that question. He shouldn't have been; it was only natural Terri wanted to see her best friend. He had texted everyone that they were out of the city, never saying where.

"Nowhere you should be coming, Terri."

"Fuck you, Murdock!"

"Theresa, please-"

"Don't you DARE to Theresa me!" she shouted back, making him flinch. His own anger spiked, but he knew she wasn't the person to take it out on.

"Terri, please. We're with friends, alright? They are… they are taking care of Fisk's associates, working on—working on making things right."

There was a short pause on the other end of the line.

"Explain."

Matt sighed, suddenly feeling more exhausted than ever. "I can't tell you-"

"Matthew Michael Murdock, I swear to God-" she threatened, her voice rising again.

"I can't. At least not now. Please, Terri."

Wow, he didn't say so many pleas to anyone else than the Lord himself since— he wasn't sure when.

"Fine. Just… keep me updated?"

Matt felt his lips relax in a grateful smile.

"Thank you, Terri. I really appreciate it."

"Well, I don't. So you'd better fucking explain yourself. And keep your eyes on Vera, really closely. Because I apparently can't," she muttered and Matt wasn't sure if she was being eaten up by guilt again or whether she was accusing him of keeping her from being with Vera.

"Thanks. Get some sleep, okay?"

"Said Mr. Hypocrite. Tell Vera I'm thinking of her, alright?" the barista whispered shyly and Matt felt the corners of his lips rise higher.

Terri was an actual treasure of a human being.

"I'll make sure to deliver the message. Bye, Terri. And thank you."

Matt let his hand fall into his lap, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He dutifully passed on the message to Vera's still sleeping form and started gathering strength for more phone calls.

He chose Foggy next, not quite ready for the incredible scolding that would come from Petr, with no doubt. Matt knew he deserved it, but he needed to share his fear first, he needed to hear Foggy's optimism and feel the warmth of his friendship.

Maybe it made him a coward; but Matt had never claimed he was a man without fear.

To Matt's surprise, the talk with Petr wasn't too bad – the man was scared shitless, no arguing here, but once he knew Vera was alive and hopefully on her way to recovery, he managed to find enough compassion not to kick Matt even lower than he felt being. They talked for a rather long time, ending up with Matt putting Petr on speaker so he could talk to his sister. Kinda. Matt was sure that when Vera was about to learn about the gesture, she would cry her eyes off, too touched to form words. Not that she could form words now.

Her condition didn't improve while he was catching up with her brother though. To be fair, it didn't deteriorate either, so that was a win.

Also, Brett called to find out how the whole 'erase memories thing' had been progressing; only to make Matt realize that he had tuned it out for few moments. When he focused again, he could hear Barry's exhausted voice and… faintly smell blood. Who was bleeding?!

"Alright, buddy, time to take a break."

"But-"

"Ramon, you're bleeding," Harry huffed, his steps loud as he paced trough the room.

"He's right, Cisco. You should get some rest. Barry too," the doctor's soothing voice noted gently.

As much as Matt wanted to feel for them all, he was also terrified – what if they stopped now and something would be set in motion? Some other plan they had missed, a plan only a person they hadn't reached yet knew?

"But-" Cisco protested once more, a disgusting noise escaping him when he tasted the blood, probably dripping from his nose.

"We have two guys here, who are most definitely at the bottom of the food chain. You said you barely found any mention of them in a friend of a friend of a friend's mind. And they are not going anywhere. So, relax," Barry stated, effectively updating Matt on the status.

The knot in Matt's stomach eased a little. Perhaps he had missed more than he thought.

"Matt?" Brett demanded from the other end of the line and Matt shook his head to snap himself back to the call.

"Sorry, almost done."

"Wow. Okay. Good, I guess… not that I understand a thing about what you're doing. And Vera?" he asked carefully as if expecting bad news.

"Still the same. Unconscious, stitched up, after transfusion."

Brett sighed at the flat tone of Matt's voice, but Matt honestly didn't care. Mostly because he just heard Cisco mumble 'kay, then-' and then there was shuffle of fabric and wind as Barry barely managed to catch his friend's body before it hit the floor.

Well, shit.

"Okay. I hope she gets better soon."

"Yeah. Thanks for your help, Brett," Matt hurried, worried about the psychic.

"Yeah, yeah. Bye."

"Dammit, Cisco. couldn't you say something earlier?" the doctor complained and went to check him over. She sounded more annoyed than worried and Matt's shoulders eased their tension. "Harry, why don't you go check on Matt and Vera?"

Aaand the tension was back.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. I'm beat," Barry uttered, "I can't believe I'm saying it, but I think I need like ten bags of i.v. glucose."

"You got it, Mr. Alllen. Harry?"

"Fine, fine, I'll go check on the house guests…"

Matt sighed, thrilled about as same as the scientist himself. But he had to put himself together. He had several thanks to say and Harry could just be the first on his list.

Matt sent another prayer for Vera and braced himself. He could deal with annoyed scientist. He handled worse, after all.

By the time they hopefully eliminated the whole network, Matt could barely keep his eyes open. He should be able to do better than this, but he felt the exhaustion settle in his bones once the danger was over.

He still feared for Vera's survival, but as if his body knew the truth – that being he couldn't really do anything to help her –, it wouldn't let his mind control it anymore. He just… dozed off as soon as the Team Flash started taking turns in performing human stuff; sleep, food, showers.

Needless to say Matt didn't rest in an efficient way, unable to fall into a deep sleep, but with another bed prepared for him in the very same room as his fiancée's, he couldn't resist catching at least an hour or two.

Even with the work seemingly done, they didn't stop. Barry was looking through the footages from the hospital Matt had been treated in after the car accident, supposedly caused by Fisk, making sure they didn't miss anything. One of the perks of the speedster doing it was that he could play the footage at a really fast motion, saving their time. Also, he was working in the Cortex again, so Matt could be right with him if anything popped up.

"Holy crap!" Barry called out all of sudden, frantically pressing some key Matt couldn't identify, obviously.

Matt's heart stopped in anticipation of the worst possible news. Was there more danger?

"What is it?" he asked sternly, rushing to his side, just like Cisco and Caitlin. Matt could hear their breaths hitch at whatever they saw on the monitor.

It was Cisco who enlightened Matt though. "Whoa, okay. I don't suppose Natasha Romanov works for Fisk?"

Matt only managed to blink in shock. Come again? Why… why were they asking about Romanov? What-

"…what?"

"Natasha Romanov. The Avenger?" Barry clarified, clearly not sure if Matt didn't know the name or simply couldn't believe it. It was the latter. Romanov? In the hospital? "She was at the hospital. I only have one shot of her face – after she collided with Vera, actually, not that your girl noticed –, but the body recognition system and all… it looks like she was there most of the time you were out."

Matt's brain went to an overdrive, his mind racing.

Natasha Romanov? Why— how- what the hell? Was she there on a mission? Was it a coincidence? Matt's gut was telling him that no. There were no coincidences like that. Not with superspies.

So there was only one possible explanation; she had been there for him.

"…they had been watching us. Over us," he whispered incredulously, the words feeling heavy on his tongue. His head was spinning again at that revelation.

The Avengers? Watching over them? Really? Why? Because they were the oh so good guys? Because Stark was a control freak? Because S.H.I.E.L.D. needed to know everything? But Rogers promised not to tell the government agency…

"Looks like it," Cisco chuckled, awe in his voice.

Oh great, the fanboy was showing.

"That actually might be why you woke up earlier than planned. They must have a crazy team of scientists. If they have been able to get hands on your blood and every test result, they might have created an antidote of some sort," Barry thought out loud, stunning Matt again.

It made a perfect sense, their assistance. Then again… it didn't. Matt couldn't understand the possible motive. Why care about them in the first place?

If he was an optimist, he would give his money on Vera charming them, but these days he really wasn't one. The thing was that it didn't matter now, no matter how hard it made his stomach flip with nerves. The point was that the possibility of their involvement in his recovery was high and their help had been essential. Whatever they had done, for whatever reason, it had thwarted Fisk's original plan.

Which meant Matt owed them. A lot.

"They've been looking after us," he repeated quietly in disbelief.

"I take it you didn't know that either," Cisco hummed, reminding Matt that he had had no clue about the drug in the first place.

"No. No, they… I know Vera tried to contact them several times when we were… I was in trouble, which brought the trouble to her as well, but they never answered. I thought they just didn't care at all. Apart from giving us an engagement gift of some sort."

"Well, they do seem like a pretty busy bunch of heroes."

"Yeah."

"Guess it's nice to know they didn't bail completely on you," Doctor Snow noted kindly, a smile in her voice.

Matt was too amazed to oppose and bring up that there was no reason for them to not bailing as far as he knew.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is. Especially with what they have done"

"Did you send them a wedding invitation?" Barry pried, wiggling his eyebrows.

Matt chuckled, exhausted, the weight of what he had learned falling down on him. "Well. Not yet… And even if we will… I wouldn't expect them to come."

It seemed they all sensed there was more behind those words, but they didn't pry, guessing it was way too personal for them to dig.

Matt was grateful. He didn't want to think about the times he and Vera hadn't been together and about the fact they hadn't talked about the wedding since then.

Matt promised himself that if she was about to wake up still willing to remain in their relationship, he would have asked as soon as an opportunity would rise.

He tried to ignore the heavy weight in his stomach at the 'if' he had been thinking. If she woke up and wanted to have nothing do with him, he couldn't really blame her now, could he?

Suddenly crushed upon the realization, he shuffled back to the med bay, falling into the chair beside her bed.

After all, it might be the last chance he would get to be in her presence. No one would be able to reproach her if she decided that she never wanted to see him again.

Feeling the bile climbing up his throat, he squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for something else for a change, even though he possibly didn't deserve it. He prayed she wouldn't leave him – this time not when leaving this world, but only his own. Because it had been a while since he had reached the point in which he couldn't imagine his life without her and nothing changed ever since.

-.-.-
Notes:
If you feel like the angst is lasting too long, I feel the same. We should return to the happier Flash note, right? This isn't really my home turf ;) I promise a switch in POV and atmosphere, at least a little.