Near Death Experience – Chapter 11
A/N: Three men follow Joss, but Joss only follows one man. This chapter is from Beecher's, John's and Joss' POV. Things are starting to get messy.
Cal Beecher knew what they called him - 18 Carat Cal – and it was true, he did have better clothes, better cars and certainly better girls than they did.
What his co-workers didn't know, but could easily find out, he thought, if they took five minutes away from their bullshitting sessions, was that he had money.
Beecher's grandfather had been a high school science teacher who had developed all sorts of gadgets in a little shed in his backyard. Forty years ago he had developed a product that for a time was in almost every car in America.
While the advent of computer run circuitry in cars had eliminated the need for his grandfather's invention, he had invested wisely - Cal's family wasn't filthy rich, but there was plenty there.
Plenty to build a good life with someone special.
And yeah, while he'd had his share, ok, than more than his share of beautiful women, Beecher was ready to settle down, find the right woman. She couldn't just be anyone – she had to be smart and beautiful, someone who understood his work – Cal liked being a cop, much to his staid, buttoned down family's eternal embarrassment - someone who would be hot in bed, but also someone who you could take home to your mother.
He'd thought that woman was a dream, an impossibility, but then several months ago, he met Carter.
She had worked a multiple shooting case involving a member of the Mayor's staff – there was a narcotics connection and his unit had gotten called in. When he first saw Carter, Beecher was stunned at her beauty, but he managed to play it cool whenever he saw her, chatting with her at the coffee machine, touching base on certain cases, treating her as if she was just any other cop.
The more he found out about her, the more he was interested – a veteran, a lawyer, highly principled, dedicated - she was special and he didn't want to screw it up, slowly getting to know her.
One day she contacted him about a former case of his and he used the opportunity to pay her a favor, then he asked her out to dinner.
Carter laughed and looked away at first, then she nodded as if she was making a decision. He knew from department scuttlebutt that she wasn't the type to casually date around, so the fact that she agreed to go out with him meant something, that he had passed muster with her in some way.
She seemed a little standoffish and distracted on their dates at first, checking her phone like she was expecting a call, but Cal chalked that up to her being a good parent, another plus in his book. He had dated women who were all too eager to ignore their kids; the only time they seemed to mention their children was to complain about them – or their ex.
Once, she got a call and cut a date off right in the middle, saying there was an emergency, but then when he asked her later if her son was alright, she seemed confused, mumbled that he was ok and then changed the subject. He understood that she was a private person, not ready to share all the parts of her life, but over time, she seemed to be opening up to him, until a few weeks ago.
Carter had gotten involved in some hot case with the FBI and fallen off the map, not responding to his calls or even stopping in at her desk at the precinct. He found out that she had been at Rikers, that the FBI agent she had been working with was murdered shortly after, that there were rumors of assaults and a dead prisoner and even possibly terrorist connections.
When he did see her for a moment, Carter looked worn and tired, flinching when he touched her shoulder. She apologized, said that she had some personal stuff to take care of and he'd barely heard from her since.
So when Carter had just shown up that night at his place, he didn't know what to expect, even thought she was going to tell him it was over, but then she opened her coat and revealed her incredible body to him. He hesitated for a moment, shocked at her audacity, but then he saw the desire in her eyes and he was lost.
He had never experienced anything like it.
The way she made love to him, so passionately, so intensely, her arms and legs around him like she was holding on for dear life, the sounds when she came wrenched from her throat like a sob. She took him into her body, her mouth, her hands, giving him everything.
Jocelyn Carter was smart, she was beautiful, she was passionate, and after that night, Cal knew, she was his.
She was the one. Carter didn't do anything halfway - the time apart had given her a chance to think, and now she was all in.
Maybe they were rushing things a little, but they weren't kids. Time to meet her son and introduce her to his family.
XXX
'Next time, I'd like to see you covered in rose petals. – Cal'
The two dozen dark red roses were beautiful, the scent filling Joss' apartment. When she called to thank him, Beecher asked if she was busy, suggesting dinner that evening.
"I'd really like to see you, Carter…pick up from where we were that night, and maybe talk a little bit. This whole case…"
It was headline news across the city. A drug kingpin had been forced to move a massive shipment of heroin from one warehouse to another due to an infestation of bedbugs. While the bedbugs weren't interested in heroin, they were interested in the kingpin's staff and ultimately his customers. Panicking after receiving numerous complaints and a near miss himself when his chauffeur discovered the insects in the kingpin's Bentley, the transfer was hastily arranged.
Joss knew through departmental scuttlebutt that Beecher had received the tip from one of his snitches a few hours after she had visited his apartment. Not only was Beecher's unit able to intercept the drugs, but over a dozen other raids had been conducted across the city and the kingpin's CFO was turning state's evidence. A separate command station and clearing house had been set up in an empty industrial park outside the city, the activity so fast and furious that Cal and his colleagues were bunking there so that they could execute a raid at a moment's notice. Beecher had left her a few messages, but they hadn't seen or spoken to each other since that night.
"You don't have to explain, Beecher. And we should talk, but not tonight. Coffee, first thing tomorrow?"
They settled on a time and place.
"Yeah, sounds good…I like the idea of starting the day with you, Carter."
"Ok…and thanks again, Beecher."
XXX
Joss looked around her empty apartment.
She could have accepted Beecher's invitation, but what she needed to say to him had to be said in the clear, cool light of day.
If things were different, she thought – but they weren't. Cal Beecher was not the man for her and she'd known it, almost from the very beginning. Rafi Alvarez was right – she was just marking time with Beecher and even then, she was doing a poor job of it.
Joss was ashamed to admit that she'd barely thought of him since that night. She would tell him tomorrow that it was over. Beecher was a good man and she hoped that they would be able to part as friends.
Joss wandered the apartment's rooms, but everything was done, and even if she did find something to do, she knew it wouldn't satisfy her. Going to the movies, calling a friend, visiting her mother – no, none of that would work, but she needed to get out of this apartment. Now.
She thought about changing her clothes – she still had on a blouse and skirt from testifying in court this morning – but the urge to leave was overwhelming. Throwing on her coat, Joss left the apartment.
A walk, that's all, she thought – a nice long walk.
XXX
Beecher wound up meeting some of his colleagues for dinner and drinks after he spoke to Carter. He had a pleasant buzz as he left the restaurant and decided to stretch his legs a bit before heading home. A major bust, a sure promotion and now Carter. He kept thinking about what he was going to say to her tomorrow – maybe they could get together that evening. He smiled with the thought of making love to her again.
All of the sudden, he saw a flash of red. Carter. She was quite a bit ahead of him, but he'd recognize that stride anywhere. She didn't say she had plans, but perhaps she'd had dinner out tonight as well. Beecher started walking faster, waiting to get close enough to her to call out and get her attention, when a man suddenly dashed across the street and caught up with her.
He was tall and thin and looked young – maybe the son of a colleague or friend. They spoke for a few moments and then he took her hand. Even from this distance, Beecher knew this was a very different relationship than what he had assumed. Beecher quickened his steps but as he approached the crosswalk, several fire trucks, police vehicles and an ambulance raced through, halting him.
When he finally crossed the street, Carter and the young man had disappeared. Beecher kept walking, looking for them – they had to be just a little ahead of him.
XXX
"Hey, stranger," the barista smiled at her.
Joss blinked in surprise. She was so focused on keeping her feet moving that she didn't even hear his approach.
"Sorry, did I scare you?"
"No, I was just in my own world." She smiled ruefully. "Not good, especially at night."
They stared at each other for a moment. The barista was dressed casually in a sweater and jeans, with a backpack over one shoulder, as if he had just come from a class. He still looked incredibly young, but Joss could sense that something had shifted in him, that he was different from the uncomplicated man she had spent time with just a short time ago.
"Can we talk – just for a minute. Please," he asked.
Joss nodded. She owed him that.
He took her hand. They walked up the street a bit and then the barista pointed out a little courtyard. Joss nodded and they stepped into the narrow space that served as an entryway for a variety of small businesses that had closed for the evening. There were several benches that lined the courtyard, but neither Joss or the barista indicated that they wanted to sit down.
"I haven't seen you…" he said, and she noted that he didn't add, 'since that night'. "You haven't even come into the shop."
Joss nodded. She wasn't going to insult him by saying she was busy or that she meant to call him. "I did want to thank you for the flowers. They were beautiful."
He nodded. "Can we…get together again? We – we could just have dinner, or a drink, maybe even," he smiled softly, "a cup of coffee."
"I'm sorry, no." Joss squeezed his hand gently. She turned to walk away, but he held on to her.
"Did I – do something wrong? Is that why I haven't seen you?"
"No, No." Joss shook her head. "It was me, it was all me. I -," she paused, searching for the right words to say, words that weren't cruel or self-serving. "It was a moment, a wonderful, wonderful moment, but it won't happen again. I'm sorry."
"I can't stop thinking about you." His voice cracked. "I've tried – tried all sorts of things. I just can't." He looked lost and Joss knew that she and the barista were very much alike. They both kept thinking that with enough thought, logic and hard work, you could reason out anything, even those things that make no sense, like standing in the middle of a courtyard on a winter's night with a beautiful young man who thought his heart was breaking. "If there wasn't that guy?…"
Joss raised her other hand and touched his cheek. She didn't need to answer. The barista already knew that if there wasn't another guy, she never would have spent the night with him.
Their arms slid around each other in the darkness and they held on tightly. Joss raised her face to his, and their lips met, as they kissed each other goodbye.
XXX
Beecher realized that he must have passed them, perhaps they had stopped in some place along the way, so he turned around, almost running as he retraced his steps. His brain kept trying to come up with reasonable explanations for what he saw, but he knew in his heart that he wasn't mistaken – Carter had been with this young man, perhaps was with this young man now.
As he rushed along, Beecher almost passed a little courtyard, but a passing truck with bright headlights lit the interior and he saw a patch of red in the darkness.
Carter. In his arms. Kissing him.
With a roar, Beecher ran into the courtyard.
XXX
Reese was already in a foul mood when he heard barista speak to Joss.
It had been a long frustrating day. The number was an unscrupulous contractor whose shoddy work had led to ten people being seriously injured, including a young father and his little boy. The man had absolutely no remorse and while there was some justice in his being arrested and Finch draining his secret bank accounts and paying the victims' hospital bills, the damage had already been done. The victims would recover, but they would never be the same.
Fusco was chaperoning a school trip for his son, so that afternoon Reese had listened to Joss and Finch working furiously together to not only solve the case, but also to uncover evidence that would lead to the contractor's arrest, before the man skipped the country.
Hearing her conversation with Finch brought home today how much he missed her.
There were times today Reese wanted to talk to her, wanted to get her counsel. They had lost several precious hours because he had overreacted and targeted the contractor's foreman as the person who actually orchestrated the sub-standard construction. He had behaved unscrupulously as well, but not on this project.
Reese knew that if he had spoken to Joss, she would have talked him through his assumptions with her usual combination of skepticism, intelligence and humor.
Listening to Joss and Harold talk like they were old pals made Reese so angry, that he didn't return to the library that evening for his usual debrief, telling his friend in clipped tones that he would talk to him tomorrow. In his present mood, Reese knew he would say something that he would regret. He knew that Finch viewed Joss as a friend and as a colleague, but when she laughed at one of his quips and he thanked her for some insight, the self-imposed separation felt new and raw.
Of course, the hits on the John Reese Self Pity Countdown just kept on coming.
Reese listened to Joss talk to Beecher, listened to the hope in the man's voice as he asked her out to dinner. The drug bust was the top story all over town and Reese knew that Cal Beecher would use the flush of victory to spend time with Joss, make love to her again, perhaps even try to claim her permanently.
He held his breath, then sighed in relief as Joss turned Beecher down, at least for tonight.
Reese followed her as she went for a walk, watched as she made a turn as though she was going to head home and then the kid ran across the street and spoke to her.
Finch, then Beecher and now the kid.
Reese was tired, he was drunk and he knew that he was feeling dangerously sorry for himself. He needed to go home and sleep it off.
He turned and walked quickly away, wanting to put as much distance between himself and them as possible. Shut off your phone, he told himself, but he kept listening.
Reese couldn't stand seeing them together, couldn't stand that she had been with him, couldn't stand that she had thought about him, couldn't stand that she had watched him, couldn't stand that she had wanted him.
But what Reese really couldn't stand was that this kid was more honest, more brave than he was, that this kid who barely knew her, understood how special she was and had the balls to go after her.
He heard a roar and the sound of running footsteps.
Reese turned and began running back.
XXX
Beecher stormed into the courtyard, hearing a sound, which he realized was a roar of rage and anguish, spilling from his throat.
They broke apart, and to his credit, the young man tried to shield Carter, standing in front of her, holding up one hand, "Sir-"
"Get out of here – now!"
Carter stepped next to the young man. "This is between us, Beecher, not him."
"What the hell is going on, Carter!"
She turned to the young man, "It's okay, he's not going to hurt me."
The young man stared into Beecher's eyes. "I'm not leaving."
XXX
Joss knew that she had to make the barista leave, before this became more about testosterone than anything else. "I need to talk to him. I'll be okay."
"No, I'm not leaving." His eyes were still on Beecher.
"Please go. Now." She touched his arm. "If you stay, you'll make things worse."
"No."
"Please."
The barista looked at her, as if he wanted to say something. He nodded curtly, and walked away.
XXX
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Reese was bathed in a cold sweat as he ran. He could hear Beecher shouting at the kid, the kid trying to protect Joss, and Joss trying to calm them both down.
He was so busy being sorry for himself that he hadn't even noticed Beecher, had probably passed him.
Reese knew that under the right circumstances even the most mild mannered man can react violently. Finding out that the woman you've been seeing has slept with someone young enough to be your son would definitely do it.
He was tired, he was drunk and he was scared shitless.
If anything happened to her…
XXX
Beecher took several deep breaths trying to calm down. "Carter…what-what the hell is going on? Are you two – together?"
"No. I did spend time with him, Beecher."
"Spent time…you fucked him. Before or," the realization hit him, "it was after you slept with me."
She stood there silently and he knew he was right.
"I thought, what happened between us –
She shook her head. "I didn't mean to –
"What, you didn't mean to show up naked at my apartment? That just happened? You just show up at any guy's place and I happened to be the lucky one that night?" He stepped closer to her. "You're not like that, Carter. I know you…"
She said softly, "You don't know me. I – it was a –"
He cut her off, not wanting to hear the words unspoken, hanging in the air, 'It was a mistake', 'It never should have happened' and the last thing he wanted to hear, 'I'm sorry.'
"Look, I heard about what happened at Rikers and that FBI agent being killed…Sometimes, people do crazy things – you and that kid…"
She looked him straight in the eye. "It wasn't just him, Beecher."
He shook his head. "No. Don't tell me that. The way you touched me, the way you made love to me, it had to mean something."
"I'm sorry."
"Joss –"
"Don't call me that. Please don't call me that." Her eyes were huge, dark saucers. "I am sorry, Beecher." She stepped forward and Beecher knew she was going to leave.
She had to stay, he thought. They had to talk. If she knew how much he cared for her -
Beecher grabbed her arm.
XXX
Joss had never seen John attack someone head on.
She had fought alongside him, had been behind him, had even sometimes led the charge, but she had never seen what it was like from the perspective of the person that John was going after.
It was a great and terrible beauty*.
His overcoat billowing behind him like a cape, John leapt across the courtyard, pinning Beecher against the wall and immobilizing him, the softness of his voice underscoring the brutality of the attack. "Don't ever touch her again."
XXX
"John. Let him go. He wasn't going to hurt me."
Carter's voice sounded far away, Beecher thought, as he tried to focus on his assailant.
The guy was tall, dark haired and well dressed, the type of guy you might dismiss as a banker or some corporate type, but he radiated a quiet menace unlike anything Beecher had ever experienced in all his years on the police force.
"John. Let him go."
Carter's voice sounded a little stronger and Beecher realized it was because he could breathe freely again as the man stepped away from him.
He watched the man turn his face to look at Carter and even in the dark, Beecher could see his eyes change color, become almost incandescent as he gazed at her.
Whatever Beecher thought Carter had with the young man was nothing compared to this.
Whatever Carter had with this man defied description.
It was a living, breathing thing that would consume anyone who got in its way.
They stared at each other and Beecher knew he no longer existed.
Softly Beecher asked, "Did I ever matter to you, Joss? Ever?"
She slowly tore her eyes away from the other man to look at him and Beecher could see her trying to recall what he had just said. Finally her eyes focused. "I'm sorry, Calvin. I'm truly, truly sorry."
He shook his head and walked away.
XXX
He looked terrible, Joss thought.
Tired, and worn and thinner, and John was a man who was already too thin. Joss could smell the liquor on his breath, saw the sweat streaming down his face and she knew that John would have hurt Beecher very badly if he had tried to resist him.
His eyes scanned her slowly as if he was trying to memorize her. For a moment, she saw something – a sadness, a wistfulness on his face – but then his features closed down.
He walked away.
Joss stood in that empty courtyard.
Colors spun before her eyes – blue, silver, black, white.
And then they were covered with a red haze of rage.
She followed him.
*A Great and Terrible Beauty is the title of a book by Libba Bray, that I saw one day when I was in a bookstore and the title just struck me a perfect way to describe John as he was attacking someone.
A/N: Next, When Things Collide. John and Joss have been stumbling, fumbling and bumbling their way along a high narrow cliff for some time. Now they tumble off and things will get very messy indeed.