CHAPTER 11:

Han opened his eyes as a sleepy grumble sounded from his left. He turned his head to find Chewie, hair standing up and out all over his body, slouching in the co-pilot's seat.

"'Mornin'," Han mumbled.

Chewie gorgled, and Han snorted, "I definitely didn't miss your snorin'."

Chewbacca yawned and stretched his arms and back. He then grunted and nodded in the princess direction.

Han looked down at her. Her face was tipped up toward him, and he involuntarily smiled at her peaceful countenance. Her cheeks were as rosy as her parted lips. Then he became aware of her warm hand that had slipped under his shirt. He raised an eyebrow but didn't mention his discovery to his best friend.

"Honestly, I don't know what happened," Han shook his head as he continued to stare down at her. "She just appeared and said she was cold."

Chewie's gurr had a teasing lilt to it. Han glared at his friend, "No, I didn't take an advantage of her. Do I look like I did?"

Chewbacca voiced his opinion, and Han's brow furrowed, "Well, I didn't!" He looked down at the princess again, and his expression softened. "I didn't know what to do. We've turned up the heat. Have you been into my cabin?" Chewie rolled his eyes and waved a hand at his face. "Yeah, you don't have to tell me about it."

Han paused as he studied the healthy color of her cheeks and lips. He shook his head, "When she came to me, she was ice cold and her lips were blue." He looked up at his best friend, his hazel eyes haunted, "She scared me."

Chewbacca worghued. Han's lips pulled up to the right, "Yeah, maybe she's sick. And I was so hard on her."

Chewie placed a hand on Han's head and mumbled words meant to console his best friend.

"Touch her face. See if she's warmed up, will ya'?" Chewie humped and tilted his head. Han frowned, "She would've woken up by now. She must be really tired."

The Wookie gently placed his fingers against Leia's cheek and quietly purred to reassure Han that her temperature seemed to be in normal range for humans.

"Do you think her body just picked up my temperature?"

Chewie shook his head and rose from his seat as he reassured Han once again.

"Nah, I'm gonna wait until she wakes up," Han answered. "Hey?"

Chewbacca put his hands on his hips, obviously impatient to eat breakfast.

Han's face reflected his optimism, "Do ya' think she'll be hungry and eat this morning?"

Chewie shrugged.

"Maybe she wasn't eatin' cos she wasn't feelin' well. She looks a lot better. Look at the color in her face."

Chewbacca mumbled, giving Han an ambiguous answer. But Han took it as confirmation of his assumptions concerning the princess' wellbeing. The Wookie grunted and started toward the door.

"Hey, buddy?"

Chewie stopped in his tracks, rested one hand on his hip, and tilted his head.

"Can ya' take the pendant around my neck off?"

Chewie chortled, and Han scowled, "No, I'm not wearin' jewelry. It's Luke's. His father made it for him. I'm wearin' it cos I didn't wanna lose it. I want to give it to Leia, but I don't wanna wake her."

Chewie sighed but did what Han asked. He held up the pendant and grunted. Han stared at the pendant as well. "The ol' man gave it to him. Told him that his mother wanted him to have it. The stone's from Naboo."

The aged Wookie stared at the stone as if he was hypnotized by it, and memories of another time came to mind. He couldn't figure out why this simple stone evoked these long forgotten memories of the Clone Wars. The pendant disturbed him though he didn't know why.

"Can ya' slip it over Leia's head?"

Chewie pressed his lips together as he looked upon Han's relaxed expression. Han hadn't seemed as content as he was at this moment since before he returned with Luke's body. The wise Wookie was right; Leia needed Han just as Han needed Leia. How long would this peace between the two last? Chewie suspected not long, but for their own sake, they needed to figure out how good they were for each other before time runs out.

"Come on, Chewie," Han pushed. "And be sure not to wake her."

Chewie frowned at the pendant. He may not have any Force powers, but Wookie instincts were almost as good and most of the time extremely accurate. There was something not right about this pendant, but he'd never convince Han of that. It was Luke's. Han may claim he didn't believe in the Force, but when Luke had his "feelings", Han listened to the boy. Also, the pendant was Luke's so Han wouldn't believe there was anything bad about it. Chewie gently slipped the pendant over Leia's head and pulled her mussed tail of hair through the leather tether.

"Thanks, pal."

Chewbacca nodded and hurried out of the cockpit.

Han smiled down at the sleeping girl in his arms. The light of the stars streaking by illuminated her face, making her look angelic. He imagined how she would look in the morning light of a sun, or suns. He glanced up at the canopy and gazed upon the view that was comforting, familiar, the view he loved best. Han always felt more at home in space than he did on land.

But at this moment, he found himself longing to be somewhere quiet, somewhere where he could feel the warmth of a sun on his face with Leia sleeping in his arms. He gazed upon her face again, and inhaled slowly. He couldn't imagine his life without her.

However, after all that had transpired between them, after he let Luke die, could she ever forgive him?

Princess Leia stirred in his arms. She pulled her hand out from under his shirt, rubbed her eyes, and yawned. She blinked the sleep away before her eyes focused on Han's face.

"I fell asleep?" she asked but didn't try to sit up or escape his lap.

"Yeah."

"Sorry," she yawned again.

"Why?"

"I'm sure you weren't comfortable," she surmised. "You should have woken me up."

"Couldn't."

Her brow furrowed, "Why?"

He smiled at her, "I fell asleep too."

She returned his smile, though hers wasn't as wide. Leia then pushed the blanket off of them and removed the coat from her arm, letting it fall to the floor. She yawned again.

"You cold?"

Leia slowly shook her head, "No." She bit her lip, "I suppose I have you to thank."

"No," he touched her nose. "Didn't mind it one bit."

"Well, thank you anyway. I feel a lot better than I have in a long time."

Han fought to contain his joy. He helped her. Maybe he could fix her, save her. I couldn't save Luke. Han pushed that thought down. He hadn't felt this good in a long time, and he didn't want to lose this foreign feeling. He felt optimistic, refreshed.

Leia quickly hugged him and slid off his lap, "I think I'll take a shower."

Han watched her leave and frowned. Every part of his body that she rested upon and touched seemed to have absorbed her chill. He pushed himself to his feet and retrieved the blanket and his parka. He yawned and decided breakfast sounded good. He turned around and noticed the princess frozen in the middle of the cockpit.

"You okay, Sweetheart?" Han's optimism began to melt away.

Leia slowly pivoted so that she faced Han. She held the pendant in her hand, and her mouth formed a tiny 'o'.

"Oh, that." Han pulled the blanket around him. "It was Luke's. He left it in his locker for safe keeping."

Leia lifted her eyes from the pendant and gazed into Han's eyes, "Where did he get it?"

Han shrugged, "He said that ol' man, what was his name?"

"General Kenobi?"

He cleared his throat, "Yeah. Well, General Kenobi gave it to him. Luke's father made it for him, and Luke's mother told Kenobi to give it to him."

The princess stared at the smooth stone and rubbed her finger over the carved markings.

"I thought you might like to have it," Han walked over to her and gazed at the pendant as well.

"You gave me his saber. Don't you…"

"I think you should have it, Leia."

"Thank you," she mumbled as if she was a million kilometers away.

"I…" he placed a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Leia's large brown eyes snapped up, and she looked into his eyes, "You didn't. It's just that…" she rolled her lips between her teeth before continuing, "I have, had one almost exactly like it. The markings on mine were different, but everything else is almost exactly the same. I left it on Alderaan."

Still clutching the blanket around him, Han reached out and caressed her cheek.

"The strange thing is," Leia examined the pendant once again, "my father, adopted father, told me that my biological father made it for me before I was born. He died before my birth. My mother gave it to my adopted father to give to me." She looked up at Han, "She died too."

Han blew air out of his pursed lips, "That's some coincidence."

"Yes, I suppose so," Leia frowned. "Doesn't it disturb you a bit?"

"Honestly," Han stroked her hair, "it kinda freaks me out."

The princess nodded, "Yeah. Me too."

"You okay?"

"Yes," she flashed him a smile that Han didn't find very reassuring. Just when he thought things were improving.

Han handed her his parka, "Just in case you get cold again."

Leia put the parka on and touched his cheek, her hand warm and comforting against his skin. Then her large dark eyes peered into his, and she held his face with both hands. Han's chest constricted as he stared into her eyes. She seemed to be staring straight into his soul.

"You need to take care of yourself," Leia said.

"I'm just fine," Han forced a small lop-sided grin.

She returned a gentle smile, "No you're not, but you're not alone." She walked out of the cabin and called over her shoulder, "I'm going to take a shower."

Han's head spun over the sudden change in the princess' emotions. Although her sadness was still evident in her eyes, she smiled and managed to turn the tables on him. You're not alone. Han swore she could feel into the shadows of his soul. Leia had been so fragile and overcome with grief just the night before, and now she was comforting him? Han swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat, and the optimism he experienced earlier completely faded away.

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Leia dropped her clothes into the washer and climbed into the shower. She programmed the temperature of the water and turned on the shower. The water took a few moments to heat up, and she held her hand under the flow until it reached a temperature that satisfied her. She pulled out the clasp the held her hair in a tail and tilted her head up to the shower head. Han held her all night as she slept, and now she's warm. She felt so secure and safe cocooned in his embrace. His smile and gentleness…he seemed happy, and his relaxed attitude made her feel good.

But Leia could feel the pain that swirled underneath that moment of contentment. And she knew that his light-hearted heart would grow heavier and heavier until it would wear him down. She could feel it as if it was her own pain. He focused on her so much that he had been putting aside his own hurt. She wasn't sure how long she could bear his attention knowing this.

Leia opened her mouth and allowed the water to fall in, wishing she could wash away or drown the sickness in her stomach. When her mouth caught as much water as it could hold she spat it out. Leia prepared her scrubber by pouring on the body wash and then began scrubbing her body. As she reached her chest, her fingers brushed against Luke's pendant.

What were the odds that both she and Luke were given almost identical pendants under the same circumstances? It was one hell of a coincidence, but she couldn't think up any logical explanation. Luke lived with his uncle and aunt on the Outer Rim planet Tatooine. She was adopted, but Alderaan was so far away from Tatooine. Was there any connection between these two planets?

General Kenobi. He served her adopted father during the Clone Wars. Her father said that Kenobi went into hiding when the Jedi were being hunted down and killed. Was it just a coincidence that Tatooine was Luke's home planet? Luke told her how he met General Kenobi, Ben, and how it was Ben who gave Luke his father's light saber. Kenobi knew Luke's father and had told Luke that his father was a great Jedi. But she wasn't surprised that one Jedi knew another.

However, it was a little more difficult to ignore the timing of events. General Kenobi came out of hiding as if he knew his services were once again needed, but that wasn't so strange. After all, he was a Jedi. Luke had told Leia that Kenobi saved him from Sand People and that's how he became involved with the old Jedi. It was plausible that Kenobi happened to be in the right place at the right time. That clearly had to be a coincidence, Leia decided as she ran her hands through her hair so that each strand was saturated. Could it possibly have been just a coincidence that while Luke was getting acquainted with the Jedi hero, the same Jedi hero that Leia was to retrieve, the Tantive IV lost its battle against the Star Destroyer, and Leia couldn't complete her mission?

Leia massaged the soap into her hair. Could it also be a coincidence that the droids found their way to General Kenobi? Luke was amazed how Artoo ran away and headed straight toward Ben's home as if knew exactly where he was going. The princess didn't know the coordinates of Kenobi's whereabouts by heart, so she wasn't able to program the coordinates into Artoo. So how was it possible…? She rinsed the soap out of her hair. Maybe that was the Force at work.

She dragged the conditioner through her hair with her fingers and then drew a comb through it to spread the conditioner evenly. Leia smiled to herself. Han would be laughing at her if she mentioned that the Force was interfering with their lives. He made his views of the Force clear and that nothing controls his destiny. Her beliefs were closer to Han's than he'd ever believe. Her father taught her about the Force and how powerful the Jedi were. These peaceful warriors were the keepers of peace.

But if they were so powerful, why were they taken by surprise by the Clones and killed so easily? There were bad Jedi, Sith, her father called them that helped. Leia always believed good destroyed evil every time. She closed her eyes, and her mind traveled to her childhood when she pestered her father with the same question over and over: if the Jedi were powerful and the keepers of peace, then how come they couldn't stop the Old Republic from being destroyed?

Her father never gave her an answer, and Jedi Knights remained fantastical warriors from another time in place only found in fairytales and legends. But Leia couldn't deny the mysterious tricks Luke performed. His abilities were limited and simple, but his skill with his light saber seemed innate as if this skill was in his blood. And Luke believed in the Force and couldn't wait for General Kenobi to train him in Its ways. But Luke's dream was crushed when Vader defeated the famous Jedi on the Death Star. Another example of evil trumping good and a Sith killing the last of the Jedi. Leia's brow furrowed. Could other Jedi have survived and were hiding like Kenobi? She rinsed the conditioner out of her hair. Jedi were cowards. Leia may be underground, hiding in a sense, but she is fighting the injustices of the Emperor's Empire. Why weren't the hiding Jedi?

So much for powerful Jedi who were keepers of the peace. Leia believed the Force existed, but it didn't affect her life. She pressed her hands against the tile to counteract the dizziness that plagued her. Han may have warmed her chill away, but her nausea and light-headedness still tortured her.

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Han Solo smiled in appreciation when Leia entered the galley. She wore a white T-shirt that stretched over her curves in just the right places. She also donned a pair of shorts and socks under her slippers. But she still wore his heavy parka.

"Still cold, Your Worship?"

Leia shrugged, "Fashion statement."

Chewie chortled, and Han raised an eyebrow, "Interesting choice."

The princess went straight to the pot of kaffe and poured herself a generous amount. She then joined Chewie and Han at the table and poured a touch of milk into her cup of kaffe.

"I made you some geatmeal," Han stood up to retrieve it from the warmer. "It's nice and hot. Warm you up even more."

Leia stared at the bowl of geatmeal as if it were a bowl of killin eyes, "Thank you, but I'm not hungry."

"But ya' haven't eaten anything since you got on the Falcon," Han fought to contain his frustration. "You've gotta be hungry by now."

She pressed her lips together, obviously tired of this fight. She knew that if she just ate the geatmeal he'd back off, but she truly couldn't do that, "How many times to I have to tell you? I'm just not hungry."

Han dropped the bowl on the floor and clenched his teeth. He then stormed out of the galley.

Chewbacca growled at Leia, and Threepio translated, "Chewbacca doesn't understand why you won't eat anything."

Leia's eyes widened, "Why don't you all just leave me alone?"

Threepio translated Chewie's words once again, "Captain Solo and Chewbacca are just worried about you. If you don't mind saying so, Artoo and I are concerned as well."

"Yes, I do mind you saying so."

All eyes froze on Han as he stomped into the galley, his face red and his eyes burned with fired. He slammed his blaster onto the table in front of Leia, "Here! This is a lot faster than starving yourself or spending a night outside on Hoth or waiting for the Imperials to capture you!"

The princess' eyes were wide and her mouth opened just a bit as she stared at the blaster. A heavy silence pressed down on the occupants of the room. Han glared at Leia. She lifted her large glassy eyes to his, and then she rose and ran out of the room.

"Captain Solo!" Threepio yelled. "I do not understand your actions, but you seem intent on upsetting the princess!"

Chewbacca grumbled. Han grunted, "Yeah, me too."

Han stalked out of the galley without another word and headed straight to his cabin. To his surprise, the door was shut, and he wondered if he should knock or just go in. He decided to do the latter, and he found her kneeling in front of his bed. Han approached her with tentative steps, waiting for her to lash out. But Leia didn't. Instead, she held Luke's light saber in her hands, twisting it around in her hands. Han's heart constricted at the sight of Luke's weapon in her hands. What had he done?

Han quickly moved to stand behind her. He ripped the light saber out of her hands. Leia didn't try to take it back. She had no reaction at all. Han gently placed the weapon on the desk beside the bed and knelt down behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, pinning her hands against her chest, and pulled her close.

"I don't want to die," Leia whispered, and Han realized she was crying. "I...I just want the pain to stop."

"I'm sorry, Leia," he pressed his forehead against the crown of her head. "I'm so sorry. I don't want to hurt you."

"I know."

"You're killin' me," Han squeezed her tighter. "I don't know what to do to help you."

"I don't know what to do to help you."

Han lifted his head, "What?"

"I can feel your pain," she whispered. "It's inside me."

"You're not making sense."

Leia shook her head, "I know. Not to you."

"Make me understand," Han pleaded.

Leia raised her face to the ceiling and closed her eyes, but her tears still flowed, "The pain, mine, yours, its everywhere in my body, in…in my stomach."

"The last thing you'd want to do is eat," Han whispered as his arms dropped he sank onto his heels. "I'm sorry."

"You were only looking out for me."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Leia pushed herself up and slid onto the edge of the bed, forcing Han to look up at her, "I…" she shook her head and pressed her lips together. You intended to leave me. "I just couldn't."

His looked away. She would have told Luke. His head began throbbing. Leia needed Luke, and Han could never take his place. He closed his eyes to hold back his tears. She needs Luke. Han wished it was he who was attacked by the unknown animal and froze to death on Hoth. Leia would have Luke, and Luke would comfort her, care for her, heal her…love her. Luke could possibly make her happy, and Han realized that no matter how hard he tried he could never do that for her. He inhaled and slowly exhaled. Her happiness meant more to him than the Falcon did, and nothing in his life before he got attached to the pint-sized princess had ever been that important. He knew he had to leave once they reached Sullust. It would hurt too much to see Leia on a daily basis and know he could do nothing for her.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled again, but this time he apologized for failing her.

"Why?"

"I don't want you to hurt."

"I don't want you to hurt," she touched his face, and he looked up at her.

"Leia, you can't know what I'm feeling."

"I don't know how," her face screwed up into a question mark. "But I do. I…know you miss Luke so much that you wish you were the one who died out there. I miss Luke as much as you do, Han, but I've never wished it was you instead of him." She placed her hands on her head, and her eyes closed, "My head is spinning."

Han's expression matched Leia's. Could it be possible? "Don't feel my pain!"

She opened her large eyes and steadily cried, "That's like me telling you don't hurt." Leia sighed and put her arms around his neck, their eyes only centimeters away from each other, "I…I think I need to feel your pain."

"Why?"

She shook her head, "I don't know."

Han scowled, "But you just said you wanted the pain to stop."

"I do," she admitted and hugged his neck. "I'm afraid I'm not strong enough to survive it."

Han slipped his arms around her waist, his head now spinning. And then he began to cry. His cheek pressed against hers, and their tears mingled together. They both gave their tears free rein, mourning Luke's death together. Han pulled her off the bed so that he could hold her closer, feel her warm body against his.

Leia wasn't sure how long they cried in each other's arms. It seemed like forever because they both would mourn Luke forever. Still crying, she pulled back and loosened the grip she had around his neck.

"Han…" she tried to control her respiration to no avail. She knew how he could heal, and she had to push her own desires and needs aside, "You have to leave when we reach Sullust." Her tears fell faster and burned her cheeks.

"What?" Leia's words pierced Han's heart like never before. He also cried, "What's that have to do with anything?"

Leia tried to swipe her tears away, but it was impossible to erase them all, "So you can distance yourself from everything that reminds you of Luke. You can heal."

Han felt sick to his stomach as if an asteroid had crashed and settled there. He dropped his arms from her waist and stood up, "You're right. That's probably the best thing to do."

He wiped his face and looked at Luke's light saber. Han picked it up and handed it to Leia. She slipped it back into the pocket of Han's parka. Without another word, Han turned on his heal and left the cabin. Leia's breath caught in her throat. She buried her face in her pillow and cried like she never had before.