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I dedicate this chapter to all of you readers, and Audrey the goofball.

Chapter Ten

It was a beautiful, chilly morning.

Snow had already begun to fall and everything looked perpetually white and heavenly.

"Cut the crap." I snapped angrily at the voice in my head - which in the middle of a poetry recital - as I gazed at the window sleepily.

I got up, sleep-slowed and tried to figure out what sort of mood I was in that day.

I was in the mood for Cedric.

Lots and lots of Cedric.

I smiled to myself.

"That's so scary." A voice came from my right.

Anita was looking at me with her eyes wide.

"What?"
"You! You woke up looking like you wanted to murder somebody, and then all of a sudden you start to smile to yourself. It's scary." Anita said solemnly.

I paused.

Then I thought of Cedric again.

"Hmmm." The ends of my lips started to curve into a smile. "Did I?"

"There, you're doing it again!" She pointed at me. "Yeek!" She stood up and looked at me, bewildered as she grabbed her towel to go to the bathroom.

It was the last day of classes before Christmas break, and I can't help but be sad at the fact that I won't be seeing Cedric for three weeks. Three weeks is a long time ...

"Quick, get ready." Said Anita-the-Mother. "Otherwise we'll be late again."

"What do you mean again?"
"We're never on time, in case you haven't noticed. So, if you still want to catch a glimpse of Cedric during breakfast, I suggest you get ready. And fast."

"Alright!" I grinned and got up to my feet almost immediately. "Nothing beats a daily dosage of Cedric's smile to last me for the rest of the day!"

By the time I had finished showering, Anita was already waiting for me in the Common Room. I fumbled with my buttons, always getting them in the wrong holes and groaned at every second I waste, when I could have been using them to drool over Cedric. As I was lost in my own la-la-winter-wonderland, a black note with golden, neat, handwriting caught my eye. It was Cedric's note that I never replied to.

I stared at it.

How long are you going to make me wait?

"Are you okay?" Anita asked me suddenly as we were walking to the Great Hall.

"Hmm? Yeah?" I looked at her, eyes glassy, unfocused.

"No, you're not. This morning you were acting like a serial rapist who's seen the hottest girl in town, and then now you're as down as the ground." She noted.

"Oh, I ..." I paused. "Nothing."

How long are you going to make me wait?

If he finds out anyway, he'll just ignore me anyways. It has always been like that.

My crushes either end up disastrously, or - abruptly.

He'll say that he liked me better as a friend, and, and ... he'll say that -

"Hello Zia." He passed by outside the Great Hall entrance, saying his morning greeting with a gentle, tender ring to it. It gave me - and everybody else - the same warm, appreciative feeling. That is just how Cedric works. Everybody loves him. Everybody can't help it. Cedric, as usual, looked very smart in his uniform, tie perfectly knotted, hair perfectly tousled (however you put it), face glowing and radiant as ever, smile as I'm-A-Heartthrob-ish as usual, eyes gleaming with happiness and contentment. The Perfect Prefect. The Head Boy.

The one who would never return my feelings.

I should have known the very first time I decided to send him those love notes.

Well actually, I was aware of that, but the thing is - my heart can be likened to that of a phoenix. It dies after getting hurt, and then it turns into ashes. And after a while, it just resurrects.

It's a never-ending vicious circle.

When will the day come, when Cedric tells me that he -

"You," He stopped in front of me. "Should wear your tie properly."

He gently grabbed my tie, fixing it.

- doesn't -

"Alright?" He grinned at me, still working at it.

- want -

"There, it's all done. Keep it in good shape, I'll be checking." He patted my shoulder.

"Me." I whispered.

"Pardon?" He leaned in.

"No, nothing." I said in surprise. "T-thanks." I touched his shoulder and walked away awkwardly, refusing to see him a second more otherwise I'll start sobbing.

I sat down inside the hall, quietly, thinking deeply.

A soothing hand ran down my back.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Anita asked.

"Nothing, just feeling emo." I said sadly.

EMO.

Hah.

A word I thought I would never use.

"Hiya, toots." Draco climbed in opposite us, face dropping after seeing my semi-about-to-whine-because-I'm-sad-over-Cedric face.

"Oh no, what did he do now? Want me to kick his arse?" He said, munching on some bread.

"No, I'll be even more depressed." I whined, playing with my food.

A pause.

"Well ... can I touch it?" Draco asked.

My head shot up as fast as I could and I glared at him. "No! It's mine!" A lot of heads turned to me at my proclamation of branding Cedric's arse as mine.

"That's the spirit!" He chuckled, grabbing another slice of toast.

"Sheesh." I grinned at Draco's strange ways of cheering me up. "But thanks."

"Nah, it's alright. You know I love you two long time, right?" He said, going all fake goo-goo eyes.

"Yeah, me love you long time too." I grinned back.

"Cut the crap, my IQ is decreasing and I'm degenerating by the second." He shivered.

Draco was not much for serious affections and love talks, as you can see.

"So what was wrong with you? You looked like you were about to kiss him and cry at the same time when he fixed your tie." He asked.

"Just thinking that he wouldn't want me if I told him it was me." I smiled.

"You don't know that!" Anita slapped my wrist.

"I know. I do know, trust me. You guys know me well enough to know, right? Things are always like this."

Like I said, it's either like a piece of paper that's filled with writings, but later torn into small pieces - or, it is written only half of the page, without a full stop.

They both kept quiet.

"And plus, Christmas break is starting. So yeah, let me bask in my romanticism for Cedric before all things fall into disaster." I grinned broadly. At that moment, Cedric stepped in with other prefects following from behind, as he was telling them about something. They all followed him religiously and even sat nearby, some of them furiously scribbling some notes.

A white note came flying from the Great Hall entrance, and landed clumsily in Draco's plate.

"Oh my!" He faked a gasp. "For me? Wow! I can't believe it, who could it be?" He raised his hands in a mock fangirl wave.

I rolled my eyes at him and opened the note.

After hours, Astronomy Tower. Will be waiting for you, Zia.

- Yours.

"Whoa, okay." My eyes widened after finished reading it, feeling a nervous tinge run down my spine. "Err ..."

Draco snatched away and read it.

"Wow, finally, one admirer with balls to reveal himself!" Draco gave me an I'm-mocking-you look.

"Should you?" Anita asked me, sending me a worried look.

"Why shouldn't she?" Draco sent her a disbelieving look. "She should find out who's been following her night and day, watching her every move, knowing every breath she takes, never failing to catch her in a crowd, and he might be around her all the time, only she doesn't know, and now's the best time for her to find out ..."

"You always manage to make things sound either very scary, or very disgusting." I frowned at him.

He sent me a smug look.

"And that somehow reminded me of The Police's Every Breath You Take."

"Yes, and that should be yours and Diggory's wedding song."

"Geez, whoever said we're going to get married?" I retorted, somehow liking the idea. Anita continued to make me blush by nudging me.

I am a hypocrite.

"Every single day, every word you say, every game you play, every night you stay ..." Draco hummed. And suddenly his eyes shot up to me. "I'll be watching you." He ended it with a teasing grin.

"I think if I had an admirer like you I'd run away and scream like a banshee." I told him.

"What if I was Diggory, and I was the one who said that to you?"

"Oh my God!" I squealed and my face turned red as I lit up.

"Sheesh!" Draco said. "Girls are such hypocrites."

Just then, a person with that same devastatingly green eyes passed by, watching us all the while. I looked up and saw Harry Potter. He smiled at me, and nodded.

I smiled back, albeit with an awkward silence in my head.

"What was that?" Draco asked me.

"I dunno, he smiles at me, sometimes ..."

"Pfft." Draco rolled his eyes at his rival. "Anyways. You. You'd better get your arse to the Astronomy Tower. Watch out if you don't."

"Oooh, I don't know whether to be scared of my admirer or you now." I faked a scared tone.

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I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous.

Okay, I'm calm.

No.

I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I'm nervous.

"Chill, will you?" Anita laughed, but her face gave it away, she was as nervous as I am.

"Err, yeah ... I will ..."

"You still have a lot of time to cool down ..." She reassured, despite of the fact that she wasn't that calm either.

And then the Common Room turned dark, and the only light source we had was the fire, which was getting dim - marking that it was after hours already.

"Okay, maybe not." I told her.

"Relax, okay?"

"Yeah ... sure ... err ... I think," I gulped. "I should go now?"

"Okay ... um ... good luck! I'll be waiting!" Anita said.

"Thanks." I said shakily, walking towards the door.

"It's dark." I whispered to myself as soon as I was outside. "Duh, of course it's dark ... Oh God, I'm not thinking straight, what the hell. Lumos. Shit. Barely a second outside I'm already talking to myself. Okay, stop talking now. Now. Okay. Shh ..."

I almost slapped myself at the stupid conversation I had ... with myself.

"Where the fuck is the Astronomy Tower again..." I asked myself.

"It's straight ahead, and you turn left, before taking the steps up." A voice said from behind.

"Right, thanks." I muttered, walking straight.

And then I suddenly stopped.

What the fuck?

"Hello?" I called out.

"Hi. Lumos." The voice answered.

"I see you're out after hours again." Cedric said from behind.

I turned around and felt that familiar feeling of butterflies in my stomach, and my face smiling in happiness, my eyes meeting his beautiful face. The light from his wand highlighted his features excellently. From the hair dangling on his forehead, to the thick set of eyebrows, the serious I'm-Head-Boy eyes, his chiseled nose ... the curve of his lips ...

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Oh, I'm actually – the secret admirer told me to come and meet him. He said he wanted to show himself to me." I said, rather worried about the outcome.

"Really? I'll go with you."

"What? No, no, that's not really necessary. But thank you for your concern." I gently patted his arm, just because I felt like touching him – HAHA!

"Let me come with you." He looked at me with concern, his eyes shining from the little light emitting from his wand.

"But why?" I was touched, honestly, but then I just had to ask him.

He looked at me for a moment.

"Because -"

"Hmm?" I anticipated.

"Because I care for you." He said seriously, with his eyebrows knitted in concern.

My heart started thumping madly.

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

"Oh, I - I - I ..."

"You're my friend, Zia. How can I let you go alone to meet a potientally, uh, unknown person -"

"What are you assuming?" I raised an eyebrow at him, smiling.

"I don't know, dangerous, psychotic, and mental? Who knows he might take advantage of you or something like that." He said hastily.

"Oh, so any guy who secretly admires me has a mental problem, eh?" I accused him.

"No, that wasn't what I was saying!" He laughed.

"Uh huh."

"Not exactly." He grinned toothily.

"And I suppose you think your admirer is probably not?" I retorted.

"Yes, I have a feeling she's a nice person."

Uh huh. Do you, now?

She's not potentially dangerous, psychotic and mental. She is all of it.

Did I mention that I know her in person?

Yeah, we're like, best buddies! Nobody knows her like I do!

L.O.L.

"Mmhmm." I grinned at him.
"But still, mine is a woman. She can't be that dangerous to me."

I almost started a verbal battle of the sexes, but I shut up and thought about something else.

Oh yes, of course, who wouldn't melt in your strong arms ... anyone who would want to start a fight with you would submit themselves to you ... Ooh.

"Yours, on the other hand, is a man. You know men nowadays." He persuaded.

"Hmmm ..." I said. "I know, Anita also said the same thing."

"Exactly. Which is why you, a girl, shouldn't go alone." He said matter-of-factly.

"You don't think I would be able to handle it, should any of these mishaps occur?" I smirked.

"I wouldn't doubt that, but seriously, let me accompany you. At least until I check him out, to see whether he's a nice bloke, and you know ... I'll leave after that."

I looked at him.

Go to meet admirer alone, or spend more time with Cedric?

"Alright." I told him.

"Good." He grinned.

"Come on, he might be rotting out there while we're discussing petty issues here."

"I'd like to see what he looks like." He said as we walked side by side.

"When he rots?" I asked him.

"No, no, I mean, in general."

"Oh."

Wow, I sounded so intelligent.

"It's fun being friends with Head Boy." I grinned. "I get to go out after hours, and not get penalized."

"You're just lucky I'm in a let's-find-out-who-Zia's-admirer-is mood. Otherwise ..." He sent me a warning look.

"Okay, okay." I held up my hands.

"On the other hand, when I'm going to find out who my admirer is, you'll be the first to know. And I'll drag you along too."

That's not possible.

How are you supposed to drag me along to meet me?

WHOA.

Maybe I should apply for that cloning thing.

Or pay somebody to pretend to be me.

Yeah, that's good.

Got to save some money now!

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"What time is it now?" I asked him, realizing that I had forgotten my watch.

"A quarter past midnight." He said.

There we were, just the two of us, in the Astronomy Tower, in the dark.

The only light we had was from our wands and from the stars from the ceiling.

Quite romantic.

It's like a date!

I started giggling to myself.

"What? Why are you laughing?" Cedric asked, turning to face me. He was sitting right beside me, against the wall.

"Nothing." I grinned wider.

Thank God for the dark! No blushes can be seen now!

"Hmmm." I sighed, still smiling.

"You think he's going to turn up?" He asked.

"I dunno. It's already past midnight."
"Oh, well. If he doesn't, don't be upset, alright? Something must have come up." He consoled.

"Yeah."

Frankly speaking, I had forgotten that we came here to meet my admirer.

Jeez.

I was so engrossed in talking to Cedric, and have small talks and laughing that I had forgotten about my admirer.

Oh my God, I'm such a cruel person.

Doesn't matter.

Cedric. Matters.

"Hmmmm." It was his turn to sigh.

"Sorry, this must be boring you to tears."

"No, it's not, actually. That was me feeling at peace." He remarked.

"Oh, really?" I looked at him suspiciously.

"Yes. I came here voluntarily, remember?"

I nodded.

"Plus, it isn't all that bad. I actually forgot what we were here for." He said.

I held my breath for a second.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Being with you is fun." He nodded. "Not the exhausting fun, it's more like a peaceful sort of fun."

My insides warmed up at what he said, and I smiled to myself, staring at my shoes.

"It's mutual then." I admitted.

He looked at me and grinned.

What about mutual attraction?!

I looked up at the ceiling and watched the stars, and suddenly had a mental picture of me and Cedric cuddling, watching and pointing at the stars like in cheesy romantic movies.

Oh, God.

I started laughing and shook the almost-disgusting image out of my head.

"What now?" He asked me again, curious.

"Nothing, nothing."

"Looks like I was mistaken. You're the potentially dangerous, psychotic and mental - and disturbed one." He shook his head.

"Maybe." I grinned.

Yes! I am disturbed by you!

And I like it.

Which makes me even more disturbed!

You spin me right 'round, baby

Right 'round like a record, baby

Right 'round, 'round, 'round

After a long while, I told Cedric, "Okay, looks like he isn't going to turn up."

He didn't say anything, he just sighed.

"Oh, well. Shall we take our leave then?" I said, standing up.

"Probably. I'm leaving early in the morning, and I haven't packed." He grinned.

"In the morning? So soon?" I almost stopped in the middle of walking back towards the dungeons.

My insides were protesting.

No! Not yet!

"Yeah. My father insisted I come home as soon as school ends. So ... yes ..."

"Aww." I frowned, but my insides were already hysterically crying.

"I know. I'll only see you after three weeks."

I know! Sob.

"Well, there'll always be owls." I suggested.

"Yeah, you're right!" He smiled. "You'd better write."

"Me? You'd better."

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

We're going to owl each other!

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I'm going to owl Cedric Diggory.

"I will. You make sure you do." He grinned.

"I will." I grinned back.

And before we knew it, we were already in front of the dungeons.

What the hell?!

Why is everything so short?!

Short walks, short times with Cedric!

Long, long, long holidays!

SO UNFAIR.

"Okay, so ... be seeing you soon?" Cedric said, his hands in his pockets.

"Yeah." I swallowed.

Oh my God. Don't cry now. Save it for another two minutes!

BOO HOO HOO.

"Goodnight, Cedric." I forced a smile, forcing my eyes to hold back the tears.

"Sweet dreams."

"Yeah, sure."

Of you.

I stood there like an idiot, and then all of a sudden he stepped forward and caught me in a warm, bear hug.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

I AM DEAD.

I AM IN HEAVEN NOW.

I could smell Cedric's shampoo, soap, or whatever he uses to make him smell so delicious - and it was the smell of heaven!

I could feel the warmth emitting from his body and his arms, which were tight around me, as I was pressed against his chest.

I could feel Cedric.

"I'm going to miss you." He grinned as he pulled away.

"Yeah, me too."

Lots and lots.

And I'm going to cry now.

I forced myself to walk back to the dungeons' entrance, before I start throwing myself crazily at him and crying like there's no tomorrow, and wetting his shirt by doing so.

Hmm ... Wetting his shirt doesn't sound that bad. He'll have to remove it if it was wet. WOOHOO!

I snapped out of my thoughts and opened the dungeon door, glancing back at him.

"Write." He pointed at me.

"Alright, alright." I grinned, and I shut the door.

"Zi?" Anita's voice called out in the dark.

I immediately ran to her and told her EVERYTHING, and I had to stop for a moment to stop myself from crying out of happiness, sadness, Cedricness, whatever.

"So that asshole didn't turn up?" Anita fumed.

"Yeah, well ... it might be mean, but I was actually thankful for him not showing up. I got to spend time with Cedric."

Again, sadness stabbed me, and I sighed heavily.

As a friend, huh.

Oh well, it doesn't matter if it's only as friends right? It's better than having nothing at all.

We were getting ready for bed, when a small white note caught my sight. It was sitting neatly on my side desk.

I tore it open and read.

Sorry, I couldn't show myself. I saw you with Cedric Diggory and decided not to.

"What the hell?" I said.

"Did he misunderstand the whole thing or what?" Anita asked.

"I have no idea."

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Chapter Eleven sneak peek:

"Umm, Zia?" A voice called from behind.

I turned, and my eyes widened.

"Yes, Potter?" I asked in surprise.

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Uh, yeah, sure?"


Wow, this is completely strange.

"I've always wanted to tell you something."

"Yes? What is it?" I asked, curious. Why would Harry Potter talk to me? And why?

"It's ... I, uh ..."

"Yes, Potter?" I pressed on.

"Agh, I can't do this."

"What? Why?"

"It's ... no ... it's unfair for you ... for him, even."

"For who?"

"Cedric Diggory."

And then he muttered a quick 'sorry' and left.

Hehehehehehehe! :D :D :D :D :D

*gives everybody cookies*

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