The night of the bar
Lana's eyes were closed while the taxi was slowly moving through the midnight Vancouver streets. The back window of the car was open and chilly breeze was dancing on her face, blowing her hair away. The bright lights of the city, showing the passing surroundings, were tracing the shadows of the woman's face. A quite music and people's laughs were the only things breaking the silence of the city.
The cozy peacefulness of the night was in contrast with the brunette's inner state. Her mind was racing, repeating different images from an hour ago. Green emerald eyes full of hurt, sadness and a glimpse of betrayal, intertwined dancing bodies, cheerful laughs, angry shouts, regretful words… It was like a reel on replay.
After a while the driver's voice announced that they had arrived, interrupting the brunette's thoughts. She mechanically paid him, wished him goodnight, entered the building, climbed the stairs to her apartment, unlocked the door, threw away her jacked and the rest of her clothes, changed into her pajamas, went to the bathroom and started taking down her makeup.
She hasn't looked herself in the mirror yet, she was splashing hands full of water after hands full of water onto her face, she was afraid what she might see if she did looked up.
She could've feel her heartbeat, racing as violent wind through the mane of escaped of his chained rope horse, as haunting echo in my head.
Echo, chanting a short word, a word that stifled with its simple but profound meaning. Word, transforming itself into a feeling, and the feelings were not at all simple, if adding the grains of other feelings.
Starting from her toes, continuing as far as the tips of her hair, Lana felt a pang of worry and unhappiness. A sense of guilt was deeply embedded in her conscience, not only because Jen and her inappropriate words towards the blonde, but also because of the jealousy thoughts and the turbulent emotions that this woman provoked in Lana. But also because, the showed jealousy was towards someone who was not her boyfriend and that she considered cheating ...
She felt like a cheater and the most bizarre thing was that if she looked deep down in herself she was more upset of her behavior towards Jen and the hurt she caused the blonde woman than that she in a way emotionally cheated on Fred.
She was feeling that way for a long time, she started to feel disconnected from Fred, the more attention he was giving her, the bigger emotional abyss was separating them. The previous welcomed and desired touches now were ones of disinterest and plain familiarity, the passionate love she felt for him at the beginning, had transformed into adoration, but of a different sort. Even her dreams had changed.
Now they were filled with images of her blonde co-worker, the last few weeks, she had dreamed about Jen more times than she had dreamed about anyone else in her life, and although she couldn't do anything about the dreams, she couldn't control her mind while she was sleeping, the constant feeling of guilt filling her heart, was threatening both her relationship with Fred and the one with Jen. Maybe her subconscious was trying to tell her something or maybe she was just getting crazy.
Maybe she wasn't trying harder enough to make things right with the man who had expressed in so many different ways his devotion and love for her. Or maybe…just maybe, she could've listen to her gut and explore the three words that had been filling her mind constantly…
Grabbing the towel, hanging next to the sink, Lana dried her face and timidly looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were glistering, her face was red and puffy, until now she hadn't realized she had silently cried this whole time. The woman in the mirror was some foreign, unfaithful version of herself that Lana hadn't ever seen. I will make things right…
The brunette put the towel in its place, turned off the lights in the bathroom and got into bed. Tomorrow was a new day, everything was going to be alright, she was going to make things right. She had to.
Exhaustingly, drifting off to sleep, three words had escaped the woman's lips… Vanilla… coffee…cookies…
On the next day
"You have a coffee delivery.", Jamie cheered, making his way through the door of Jen's trailer.
"You are such a sweetheart, wolfy.", Jen smiled, taking the coffee cup from his hand and taking a sip of it, "Just what I needed."
Jamie looked curiously at Jen's delighted face, "It's not from me, but I would guess that whoever the sender is, he surely knows what kind of coffee you like."
"It's not from you?", Jen asked surprised raising her eyebrows and eyeing comically the hot beverage in her hand. Indeed the Starbucks's cup contained her favorite morning power mix.
Jamie just shot his head in a "no" way before taking the cup and started examining it on his own. Jen gave him a "what are you doing" look. "It may be poison.", joked the Irish man.
"Don't be ridiculous.", the blonde said, smacking him on the shoulder trying to snap the cup from his hand. "Give me that!"
"If you continue smacking me like that I can sue you for assault and battery.", whined Jamie with a serious face while escaping the blonde's try at taking the cup.
With another eye roll the blonde replied, "You talk all the time, but I still haven't sued you for "ears bleeding", now have I?"
The man tried to suppress his laugh and played offended by saying "If I didn't know that you are secretly in love with me I would've thought that you are serious."
"In your dreams, wolf.", smirked Jen which made Jamie finally laugh out loud.
"Well, the good thing is that it's not poison…", the man concluded a few seconds later while still investigating the coffee, "since you are still obviously not passed out."
Just when Jen was going to throw another sassy remark at him, he interrupted her, "Now that's even more weird than poison…"
"What do you mean?", Jen asked confusedly.
While holding the cup above their heads he showed the blonde the message written under the cup. – "I'm sorry"
"Who is apologizing to you, blondie and what for?"
3 days later
Jen was laying on the couch in her trailer, her coccyx was very sore and she could barely move without a sharp pain to neutralize any further plans of getting up. If she wasn't feeling like hit by a track surely she was going to laugh at her bad luck. Who else would've fall down on his butt while shooting a scene where running in the rain. It was Emma's damn boots fault, probably they were made for ice skating not for normal walking. At least she didn't injured herself any further, only her coccyx and pride were affected. Now thanks to the guest paparazzi on the set the whole world has pictures of her falling down… in slow motion. And on top of that she was again sick. The Vancouver weather was definitely against her and her health.
A knock on the door wrested her from her own thoughts. She considered getting up and checking who it is, but immediately decided against it once the slightly movement of her pelvis caused her pain, so she just shouted, "Come in."
And here she was, the woman who she had tried to avoid at all costs these few days…
"Hey, I've heart about the accident…", said Lana with a calm voice, looking at her from the front door, "and that you are sick, so I brought you some soup."
Ah…and just when I start thinking one pain in the ass is enough…
A short new chapter, since i am seeing you guys really like the story and want more, sorry I can not give you longer versions. I really appreciate each review and opinion.
A friend told me a while ago, I should try and focus more on Lana's emotional battle, so in this chapter I tried to do that, not sure if it was very successful though.
I decided that there will be a few more chaps (around 4 or 5) before the fic is over, unfortunately my time is limited and I can't write as much as I want. This story started long time ago as a "smutty" one shot and had developed in something entirely different, it was with me through quite a few different emotional stages of my life, like a silent understanding friend, giving me its sanctuary, where I can poor my thoughts and I tried to make it justice, but it's getting harder and harder. Soon it will be time to say goodbye to it.
I have my own ideas for the next chapters, but I would love to hear yours as well. What do you guys think it's going to happen with these two? A happy ending, or not?
Thank you all for reading J