CHAPTER ELEVEN

"I killed you! I killed you!"

"Hoss, what are you talking about?" Amanda stepped closer. "What is it? What's the matter?"

Hoss thrust his palm forward. "I . . . killed . . . you!"

"You what?" Amanda tried to smile as she reached for him. "Hoss, maybe you should sit down. Let me help you."

"Stay back! You stay back! I won't let you, you hear me?" He squared his shoulders and grabbed his broken ribs. "You ain't gonna touch me, Findley. Not ever again!"

Amanda whimpered, her eyes darting to the doorway. "Hoss, it's me, Amanda."

"Don't you say it! Don't you dare say her name!"

"Hoss," her voice was soft as she skirted the room, "let me by. Let me get your father."

"My pa?" Hoss moved toward Amanda. "My pa? No! You're not going anywhere near my pa! I'll stop you, you hear me? Even if I have to . . ."

"HOSS!" Ben shouted as he stood in the hallway, shocked by the sight of his son advancing on Amanda, his fist drawn high. Ben lunged, his outstretched arms wrapping around Hoss's back, seizing him from behind.

"I'll kill you, Findley!" Hoss spat, writhing against the strong arms that held him. "I'll killed you once, and I'll kill you again!"

"Hoss! Settle down!" Ben cried, their thrashing lifting Ben off his feet. "Findley's not here, Hoss!"

"What's going on?"

"Joe! Get Amanda out of here!" Ben yelled as Joe and Adam burst into the room.

"I done told you not to say her name!" Hoss's arms burst forth, forcing his father to the floor.

Ben landed with a thud, scrambled to his feet, and, nodding to Adam, they rushed Hoss yet again.

"Don't hurt him!" Amanda cried, shrugging free of Joe's grip.

Hoss growled, shoving Adam against the dresser.

"Hoss, what's wrong with you?" Joe pleaded, his voice barely heard above Amanda's cries.

"Pa! Duck!" Adam lunged for Hoss, his fingers digging into Hoss's forearm.

"Let go of me, Adam! Cain't ya see, it's Findley?"

"Findley's . . . dead . . . Hoss." Adam strained to keep hold of his brother's fist.

Hoss clenched his teeth, and a growl sprouted from deep in his chest. "You're all liars!"

"Hoss," Amanda sobbed, clinging to the doorframe, "please, stop!"

Ben turned his head toward his youngest. "Joseph! Do as I said! Get Amanda out of here!"

"Amanda, come with . . ." Joe's hold on Amanda faltered as she squirmed free, and he reached after her, but not before she stepped back into Hoss's line of sight.

"Hoss," Amanda said, her even tone belying her fear, "it's Amanda. Listen to my voice."

"Voice . . . the voices . . ." Hoss whispered, his thrashing suddenly waning. "Voices . . . Can't . . . Chains, bangin' agin the rocks." He closed his eyes and tried to shake away the sounds.

"The chains are gone, son." Ben hold Hoss firmly in his grip. "You're free, Hoss. You're home, on the Ponderosa with your wife."

"Wife?" Hoss shouted, tossing Ben against the bed. "Don't you call her your wife! You ain't fit ta be a man let alone a husband!" Hoss staggered toward the bed, fists clenched, arms swinging into the air.

"Hoss!" Adam hurtled himself against his brother. "That's Pa! Hoss! Stop!"

Adam's pleas went unheard as Hoss grabbed for Ben's shoulders. "And I'm gonna see to it that you never lay a hand on Amanda again!"

"Hoss, no!" Amanda screamed. "Don't hurt him!" Desperate to get to Hoss, she wriggled in Joe's hold and when she managed to free her arm, she swung at Joe, missing his shoulder and catching him square in the eye.

Stunned, Joe fumbled, and Amanda broke free. She rushed toward Hoss, not sure how, but hoping to calm his rage. Her touch against his forearm only redirected his frenzy, and before Adam or Joe could react, Amanda was shoved across the room. Her back slammed against the window frame, and she moaned as she fought to right herself.

Cries of outrage and panic resounded in the room. As Adam started for Hoss, Joe rushed to Amanda's side. Hoss let out a ferocious growl and bounded across the room.

"Hoss! Nnnooo!" Ben pleaded, wobbling as his feet hit the floor.

Hoss staggered, holding his head with both hands as he lumbered forward. "Findley, I'm gonna . . ."

"The window! Stop him!"

Hoss pitched forward. Joe threw his arms around Amanda, and they toppled to the floor. Adam reached for Hoss, but his brother's momentum was more than he could handle, and as the rest of the Cartwrights watched helplessly, Hoss careened against the bedroom window. The crisp percussion of splintering glass and the moaning whoosh of desperate breathing filled the room. Adam quickly wedged himself between the shattered pane and Hoss's shoulder, and Joe sprung to his feet and lodged himself in front of Hoss.

Ignoring the shards and trickling blood that dotted his forearms, Hoss stood still, gasping for every breath. "What'd I do? Why did I . . . Oh, Lord . . . did I hurt anybody? Did I . . .?" Hoss clamped his eyes shut, tears and sweat trickling down his face.

In the yard below, Candy nearly fell as he charged from the bunkhouse and came to an abrupt stop below the broken window. "Everything all right up there?"

His eyes trained on Hoss, Joe called out through the broken window, "We need the doctor, Candy, and hurry!"