LFG: I'm back! Again I apologize for the unusually delayed update but *Shrugs* I'm sure none of you mind too much...Once again a massive thank you to all my reviewers, I love you all!
Katherine: You seem to give your love away easily...
LFG: *Glares at Katherine* It's a platonic love. Shut up. Anyway, let's get straight into it; please give a warm welcome for MrsSomerhalder10!
MrsSomerhalder10: *Walks on* BANG TIDY! *Looks at LFG* Can I just say you are SO freaking' awesome. Marry me? And then Damon and Kat can both be my mistresses (/sex slaves).
LFG: I like the idea...As long as they're OUR Mistresses *Cough* Sex slaves *Cough*.
Damon: Hey whoa. Slow down. I'm not being ANYONE'S Mistress and/or sex slave.
Katherine: He probably would be...I won't though...
Stefan: *Mutters* I don't feel excluded at all now...
Elena: *Looks at Stefan* so you wanna be their sex slave? *Raised eyebrow*
Stefan: No...That's not what I meant...I just meant...
LFG: Stop right there before you did yourself into an even deeper hole...
MrsSomerhalder10: *Runs up to and slaps Stefan*
Stefan: OW! What was that for?
MrsSomerhalder10: *Shrugs* Felt like it...Anyway, Elena, have you ever 'dreamt' about Damon?
Elena: *Shocked face* WHAT? NO! OF COURSE NOT!
LFG: I think she's lying...
MrsSomerhalder10: Does that mean I can scream at her?
LFG: Go for it...
MrsSomerhalder10: *Goes into a massive screaming rant at Elena*
Damon: *Smirks*
LFG: Don't let it boost your ego Damon. She's a hormonal teenager, she's probably dreamt about several people...
Damon: *Sulky face*
Stefan: *Hurt/Insecure face*
MrsSomerhalder10: *Stops Screaming. Smiles at everyone* My next questions involve Elijah, Klaus and Alaric...
LFG: ALAARIIICCC! ELIIJJAAAHH! *Looks at phone* It's dead. Crap. That means Klaus will have to come in person...KLAAUUUUSSS!
*Alaric and Elijah enter*
MrsSomerhalder10: Riiiccyyy booy...Have you ever accidently called Jenna 'Damon' during sex?
Damon: *Looks like he's gonna vomit*
Alaric: WHAT? I HAVE NO SEXUAL FEELINGS TOWARDS DAMON! *Stakes Damon* SEE! I STAKED HIM! WOULD I STAKE SOMEONE I HAD FEELINGS FOR? NO! *Storms off*
LFG: Whoa...He's always so angry...
MrsSomerhalder10: Elijah, did you ever love Katherine? And how do you feel about her now?
Elijah: *Thinks* Whilst I admit I had feelings for her, I did not love her. I don't believe in love. And now? Well, things have certainly changed over 500 years...*Starts to leave*
LFG: WAIT!
Elijah: *Turns* Yes?
LFG: *Smiles sweetly at Elijah* Will you fetch Klaus pleaaaassseeee?
Elijah: *Sigh* I'm not making any promises...
LFG: Thanks! *Glares at Damon, Elena and Stefan* See...That's a good cast member, he doesn't complain and is very gracious.
Stefan: Yeah but you're actually nice to him.
LFG: Shut. Up. Stefan.
MrsSomerhalder10: I'll just wait for Klaus...
*An unknown period of time later Klaus wanders in looking bored*
Klaus: My presence was requested?
LFG: Yes...We have a question for you...
Klaus: I see...*looks at Elena* Hello Elena. *Smirks*
Elena: *Looks away and tries to remain calm*
MrsSomerhalder10: So I want to ask Klaus, Damon and Katherine who they lost their virginity to...
Damon: I've already answered this...but like I said before, some random whore...
Katherine: I answered once. I see no need to do so again.
Klaus: Interesting...*Think for a while* I can't remember...Can I not just say I was born without virginity?
Elena: No because that's physica - *Stops when she receives a warning If-you-don't-shut-up-you'll-seriously-regret-it-because-I'm-an-angry-bitch look from LFG*
LFG: Of course you can say that...
Klaus: I'm leaving now.
LFG: Ohh urm...Can you like, stay nearby please? There are questions for you later on...
Klaus: Possibly. *Leaves*
LFG: Well he's very mysterious isn't he?
MrsSomerhalder10: Yes...I have one last thing I wanna do before I go...Can I kiss Damon?
LFG: Sure...
Damon: Do I not get a say in this?
LFG: Do you ever get a say in anything on this show?
MrsSomerhalder10: *Kisses Damon very slowly.*
LFG: Whoa, I thought you were gonna pounce on him or something.
MrsSomerhalder10: No. I didn't want it to be in so much of an 'OMG I LOOVEEE YOUU WAYY!' as it was an 'It's killing Elena to watch this' way...
LFG: *Looks at Elena.* IT seems to have worked...
MrsSomerhalder10: *Starts to leave* Oh, and I'm O positive. And my blood is at 98.6. Juuussst how Damon likes it. Just Saying. *Is gone*
Damon: *Staring after her* It is just how I like it...
LFG: *Sigh* IF you wanna snack, wait until after the show 'kay? Now - before Damon runs off and snacks on MrsSomerhalder10, please welcome DramaDitz!
DramaDitz: *Walks on* Stefan, being civil and all (and I promise to not hurt you)...If Elena wasn't in the picture, would you have ever thought of pursuing Lexi romantically. You guys were great friends, ever think there could've been potential for something more?
Stefan: *Really shocked/partially excited that he's being asked a question* First of all, I have no idea how I lived without Elena before she came along...
LFG: *Makes gagging gesture*
Katherine: How cheesy.
Stefan: *Ignoring LFG and Katherine* Anyway, I don't think I would...I knew Lexi for around a century before I met Elena, she was like an older sister to me...
LFG: Okay...It creeps me out when he reveals his feelings...So any other questions?
DramaDitz: Yep. Stefan, in an episode you said that you had to drink human blood to be stronger (face it, even Caroline would kick ass better then you). So are you continuing with the blood bag diet or are you still lapping up bunny blood?
Stefan: I prefer the animal diet, I get very...edgy...on human blood.
DramaDitz: 'kay.
LFG: WAIT! He didn't answer your question...He didn't say which diet he was currently on...Simply which one he preferred...
Damon: Nice try brother.
Elena: *Raised eyebrow at Stefan* You're NOT drinking human blood are you...? Stefan...?
Stefan: *Looks uncomfortable* No...
LFG: Whatever...I really couldn't care less either way...
DramaDitz: *glares at Damon* For once, you made one very stupid kill. I think Lexi would've been interesting to keep around. I feel she was killed too early in the show.
Damon: *Sigh* It was her or me. Clearly I kept the better one alive.
LFG: *Stakes Damon* As much as I love you, I hate you for killing Lexi. She was epic - Well, despite her diet...
DramaDitz: Katherine, I gotta say that I don't like you much on the show but I'm liking you here alot. I wanted to ask you about the child you had when you were human. Have you ever tried to look for it? Also, I gotta say love it when you speak in Bulgarian, very hot. *hugs Katherine voodoo doll* I think I have a new favorite on this show.
Katherine: *Gazes into the distance, looks a bit sad, then snaps back to reality and puts back on her stony 'I-Don't-care' facade* Does it matter? It's in the past now. The child's long dead by now. Regardless, thank you, I'm glad you appreciate my native tongue.
DramaDitz: Elena, have you ever thought of wearing a hard hat or maybe some armor...I don't know since you seem to be getting chucked with bricks all the time...never mind I can see you've lost one too many brain cells to comprehend what I'm saying.
Elena: I have NOT lost any brain cells, I am perfectly cap -
LFG: *Throws a brick at Elena's head* Clearly you have...Otherwise you'd have put on some sort of protection long ago. Idiot. Anyway...Lets move on...
DramaDitz: I need Klaus now...
*Klaus kinda wanders on*
LFG: I didn't even have to shout...
Klaus: *smirks* Vampiric hearing really is a blessing. *Takes DramaDitz's hand and kisses it like in movies* You have questions my lovely?
DramaDitz: Who is your evil idol? Saying yourself is not an option, no matter how threatening you are.
Klaus: I have quite a few, the list grew over the years...To name a few; Satan...Hitler...Lord voldemort.
DramaDitz: Okay. And...how did Katherine *hugs Katherine voodoo doll
again* escape you? Did you even have any real feelings for her or were you just using her from the beginning for the curse?
Klaus: Katarina was very good and hide and seek. Although, in the end, I won. No. Why would I have feelings for a mere human? Clearly I was using her. I know she's no longer human, she's just fun to toy with. Plus, I have to somewhat punish her for running away like she did.
DramaDitz: And...last question Elena is a sitting goose here, and pretty much close to being brain dead with all the bricks chucked at her...why don't you just grab her right now?
LFG: Just as a side note, I know 'The sun also rises' has already aired, but this particular chapter is set before the episode...The next ones will be set after it...
Klaus: Well, if I grabbed her now, I'd have to hide her and keep her alive and other annoying stuff. May as well only take her just before I need her.
DramaDitz: *Randomly glomps Katherine doll* Damon if you could sing a song to Elena what would it be?
Damon: If I could? I CAN. I can do anything I want...I just don't want to...
DramaDitz: Urmm...Okay then? *Leaves, closely followed by Klaus*
LFG: I do hope he doesn't eat her...Anywaayy, please welcome ...Or as I like to call her, Lostie!
Lostie: *Strides on. Looks at Damon* Beans on toast? Wasn't expecting that... So, what do you have against werewolves? I personally think the whole thing with Mason was pointless, but I would like to hear your opinion.
Damon: I have nothing against them. Oh, besides the fact that they're oversized, petulant puppies with serious anger and PMS issues who could kill me with one bite.
LFG: Fair do's.
Lostie: Stefan, I'm surprised with you being so calm about Elena talking about becoming a vampire. I thought you would have flipped out more. What's up with that?
Stefan: *Shrugs* I'm not going to pretend it doesn't bother me...But it's her decision if she wants to turn or not.
LFG: *Screams at Elena* WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU NOT WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE? YOU CRAZY SOB! WHO CARES ABOUT HUMANITY WHEN YOU CAN LIVE AS DAMON'S PRINCESS OF DARKNESS? URRGHHH! *Stamps on Elena's foot - Note LFG's wearing very pointy heels*
Everyone else: Whoa...
Lostie: Okay then...This one's for anyone brave enough...Prank phone call Klaus.
Damon: Do you think we're suicidal? Who'd actually be stupid enough...
LFG: I'LL DO IT! *Whips out phone and rings Klaus*
Elena: Is she seriously that stupid?
LFG: Shhh! He can't know it's me... *Throws Brick at Elena* Hello? Urmm..I mean *Puts on an Italian voice* Hello? When was the last time you saw your fridge? No sir...This is in all seriousness, I'm afraid there's been a recent increase in the amount of fridge robberies. Please don't snarl at me sir...Please listen to - *Throws phone at the wall* Damn blood sucker hung up on me!
Katherine: That was just weird...
Lostie: Is Alaric lurking nearby? I wanna tell him something...
LFG: Sure...RIIIIIICCC!
Alaric: *Slowly walks on* What?
LFG: Okay calm down, I promise that - at the minute - no one will ask you about Damon...
Lostie: Really random, but can I hug you? I'm just happy that you're okay. I thought you wouldn't survive Klaus...
Alaric: Really? That's all? Okay... *Hugs Lostie and then walks away*
Lostie: That's all! *Runs off*
LFG: And now it's time for the return of the newly turned vampire, Kate882!
Kate882: *Is suddenly just there*
LFG: Whoa! Hey!
Kate882: LFG, thanks for not letting Damon stake me now that I'm a vampire... *Smiles sweetly*
Katherine: Oh joy. We have a newly fanged reviewer to baby sit.
Kate882: *Walks over to and slaps Stefan*
Stefan: OW! What was that for?
Kate882: You acted like animal was good, I tried it and it sucked so I drained this really annoying loser - he was a bigger loser than
you actually - that lived down the street from my house.
Damon: *Looks up* Good on ya'! *High fives Kate882* So glad there's not another 'oh-i'm-gonna-repress-my-nature-and-somehow-survive-off-animal-blood' vamp around here...
Kate882: Also Stefan, if you love Elena so much, why did Damon do more to try and save her?
Damon: Yes brother. Do tell.
Stefan: Damon did NOT do more. He nearly forced her into becoming a monster for eternity.
LFG: *Sticks a vervain leaf in Stefan's mouth* LIAR! He DID do more. And it's because he CLEARLY love her more than you do.
Kate882: Oh and you Stefan, you asked why I hate you, you claimed you did nothing. Liar. You made me think animal blood was good, also, every time I try to watch vampire diaries I have to look at you. Additionally, you make it extremely hard to find a Damon poster because you're on them all...So by saying you did nothing, you lied. And this *Stakes Stefan in the stomach* is for lying. As further punishment, you have to drink nothing but vervain for a week.
Stefan: WHAT? YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO THAT!
LFG: *Smirk* Wanna bet?
Kate882: *Walks up to and stakes Damon* That's for saying you'd stake me. And guess what? You were wrong. I totally turned. *winks at Damon arrogantly*
LFG: It sounds pretty epic being a vampire...
Kate882: It is. Hey Elena...Elena...
Stefan: Elena?
LFG: *Throws a brick at Elena*
Elena: *Looks up* Urmm ow? What was that for?
LFG: We had to get your attention. Seems the apparent loss of brain cells is catching up with you.
Kate882: I just want to clear up any confusion Elena, when I said I loved you. It was sarcasm.
Elena: Oh no. I'm so heartbroken now. Just to be clear; that was also sarcasm.
LFG: *Slaps Elena* DON'T GET SASSY BITCH!
Kate882: Anyway, one more thing 'Lena. In regards to my fight to the death question, you said it'd be funny if Jenna...But who do you think would actually win?
Elena: Yeah probably Klaus...
Kate882: Who d'you think'd win LFG?
LFG: Hmm...I know they're not strictly cast, but they may've been in the background a few times...Like at the fair and places. Anyway, my answer would be...The chavs. They have guns, knives, horrendous slang and the belief that they're invincible. They'd totally win.
Kate882: Right...Do you have Tyler's number?
LFG: Yeah... *Hands her the mobile which has been miraculously fixed after being thrown at a wall*
Kate882: Tidy. *Rings Tyler* Just wanna say, you should totally put your hair back to how it was before because it makes you look like a Jacob Black impersonator, and you're not hot enough for that...*Hangs up*
LFG: *Spits out metaphorical coffee*
Damon: Burn.
Kate882: *Hands phone back to LFG* My next question's for Bonnie, but Jeremy must be here too...
LFG: Ahh crap. Quick. Hide Elena, if Bonnie sees what kinda of a state she's in she'll crucify me! *Hides Elena in a closet* Okay, BONNIEE! JEREMMMYY!
*Bonnie and Jeremy walk in*
Kate882: I love you both but this should be funny...Bonnie, how d'you feel that Jeremy slept with Vikki - and possibly Anna - but not you?
Bonnie: How do you know we haven't? *Blushes*
Kate882: So have you?
Bonnie: That's none of your business!
Jeremy: *Makes a sad face and does thumbs down sign towards Kate882 when Bonnie isn't looking*
Kate882: Okay then...Jeremy, is it because you don't think she's good enough?
Bonnie: I SAID IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! *A strong wind begins blowing. Making her hair fly...A lot...*
Jeremy: Actually it's because Bonnie wants to hold off...
Bonnie: JEREMY! *Does a power which makes Jeremy fly across the room and storms out*
Jeremy: OW! *Gets up and runs after Bonnie* I'm SORRY!
LFG: Well that was interesting...
Elena: *From inside the closet* What's going on?
LFG: Nothing. Go back to sleep.
Kate882: I need Klaus and Elijah next...
LFG: 'Kay... KLAUS! ELIJAH!
*Klaus casually strolls in* Yes?
Kate882: Firstly Klaus, I thought what you did to Damon was funny...Secondly... HOW DARE YOU THREATEN TO KILL ME! AND OVER THE PHONE ASWELL? THAT WAS INCREDIBLY HARSH! *Gets all up in his grill and continues shouting*
Damon: She has a death wish...
Klaus: *Interrupts Kate882* You're hostile due to my death threats over the phone...Would it make a difference if I issued the aforementioned threats in person? *Threatening glare*
Kate882: *Shuts up - Not for long* Oh and Klaus, because of Elijah's crush on Elena, he's gonna go against you and try to kill you...
Klaus: WHAT?
*At this moment Elijah walks in*
Klaus: What do I hear about you trying to kill me? *Snarl. Lunges for Elijah*
LFG: STOP! *Elijah and Klaus kinda freeze* Can we finish the questions first?*
*Elijah and Klaus awkwardly return to normal standing positions*
Kate882: Elijah, so what's the deal with your crush on Elena?
Elijah: What? I bear no feeling towards Miss. Elena.
LFG: And that's the questions done...
Katherine: Which obviously means...
Klaus: *Lunges for Elijah, they end up taking the fight elsewhere*
LFG: Wonder if one of 'em will kill the other...
Stefan: You don't seem to care?
LFG: No. Not really.
Kate882: My last question's for Matt...
LFG: Sorry, I think if Matt comes out here I'll actually kill him for being such a bitch to Caroline...
Kate882: Oh...Well where did he get his gun? I wanna shoot Stefan...
LFG: *Shrugs* Try toys 'R' Us...Or your local convent. You'll find one...
Kate882: *Is gone*
Stefan: Oh crap. That's the last thing I need. A me-hating, newly-turned-vampire, with a stake gun...
LFG: And on that note...I bid you goodbye...Just as a warning, there will be roughly a 3 or 4 week hiatus on this fic as my exams start this week...I'll probably write odd bits of next chapter here and there throughout but I doubt I'll finish it before my exams are over...I still have quite a few questions to answer, I'll get to them as soon as I can...Thanks to everyone so far who has supported this, it means the world to me that you're enjoying this 'show' *Grins and waves manically*