Chapter 10: For Good

Rachel rubbed Kurt's back soothingly as he drank his coffee; she had been talking for the most of an hour trying to understand what exactly happened between Kurt and Blaine. Not that Kurt didn't enjoy the company, but his ears were now bleeding emotionally from the strain of hearing her talk and not to mention hum a sad song for the most of an hour.

"Rachel, please. Stop talking."
"I was just trying to be supportive." Rachel said, moving from behind Kurt and walking around him to take a seat in front of him.

"Yes, I know, and as much as I love Barbra Streisand there's only so much of (Our Love) Don't Throw It All Away that I can take."

Rachel rolled her eyes and began to sip on her coffee cup, "Fine. Forgive me for trying to help a friend; I'm just trying to understand what would make Blaine walk away like that. I mean, it doesn't sound right. Do you think he wasn't ready to meet Landon?"

"No, he was ready."

"Do you think that maybe…"
"Rachel, it was me."

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't tell you the full story." Kurt sighed before he continued, taking his gaze from Rachel and eyeing the nearby bird that was chirping beautifully on the tree branch. It rested in it's nest, chirping to the upcoming wind.

"Kurt? Hello, Kurt?" Rachel waved her hands in his face to get his attention.

"Sam came over."

"Oh." Rachel looked taken aback. She leaned back in her chair waiting for Kurt to continue.

"He hugged me; I think that's what Blaine saw." He caught Rachel's eye, "It wasn't like that."

"Then what was it like? I thought you were done with Sam?"

"I am… I was…. I…." He found himself stumbling on his words trying to figure out what exactly he wanted to say.

Was he truly done with Sam Evans?

He asked himself this question every since his first date with Blaine. He knew in the back of his head that even if he and Sam had ended he would never truly be done with him. He was the father to Landon; he had a hold on him, for life.

Sam had come over the following day because Quinn had kicked him out. She was tired of being his maid and even though Sam cooked for the house, he wasn't exactly the most pleasant of houseguests. Kurt knew from experience what kind of roommate Sam could be. He could be an asshole when he had a rough day at work, he could be an angel when he got an extra ten minutes for lunch, or he could be a blend of the two when his day went well but not as well as he would like. Though Sam told him that was the reason Quinn kicked him out, he didn't fully believe that. He contacted Quinn on his own time in which she told him that Sam was coming back drunk more often than she would like. On the last night of his drunken state he confessed to her that he loved Finn, but was still in love with Kurt in which she took it upon herself to send him back Kurt's way.

Could Kurt truly be mad at her? Granted he was in a blossoming new relationship, but he still held some feelings for Sam. He still cared for the man, that had to count right? But what about Blaine? Blaine did nothing wrong in this situation.

Kurt sighed heavily to himself, looking into his coffee cup for the answer.

"Did you hear a word I said?" He looked up, having forgotten that Rachel was even still present.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"
She sighed, hating to repeat herself, "I said that Sam isn't good for you. All he's going to do is ruin your life and break your heart. Blaine is a good guy, he deserves better than this Kurt."

"Better than what? I did nothing wrong, it was a simple misunderstanding."

"Was it? Or did you want Blaine to see you with Sam?"

Kurt hesitated, her question caught him off guard, "Rachel…"

She raised her hand to silence him, "Look, all I know is that Blaine is straight forward, honest, cute, and charming. If he wasn't gay, I'd take him for myself. You're going to end up hurting that man worse than he's already hurt, you wouldn't want anyone to do you the way Sam did to you so don't do it."

"Wait. I'm lost."

Rachel stood up from the table, "Sam left you for another guy and now he's back, I would hate for you to do the same to Blaine. Leaving someone you care about for an ex is probably one of the lowest and hardest thing anyone can do. Trust me." She sighed to herself, "I know."

"This is different."

"Is it? I left Finn returning back to Puck, thinking everything would be different. That his love was all for me and I was mistaken. All I'm saying Kurt is tell Blaine the truth, don't keep him holding on or you'll regret it. I know I did."

Rachel grabbed her purse and exited the house leaving Kurt in a state of thinking. He grabbed his cell and punched in a few numbers. The phone rang a few times before a voice answered.

"Hey, can you meet me somewhere?"

…KLAINE

"I didn't think you would show up."

"Yeah, me either."

"Look, Blaine, I wanted…"

"Let me guess…" Blaine leaned forward on the park bench and crossed his legs, eyeing Kurt, "…You called me here to tell me that what I saw the other day wasn't exactly what I saw. It was just a hug amongst friends and that it meant nothing and that you want us to start over."

Kurt giggled sheepishly, "Wow, you really are perfect."

Blaine looked out towards the sunset, "I think that's my problem. So perfect, yet not perfect at all."

Kurt sighed, "Which is why this makes everything that much harder."

Blaine eyed Kurt and leaned back on the bench, crossing his legs in the process, "Makes what harder, Kurt?"

"I came here to say that what you saw wasn't exactly what you saw and that yes, I do want to start over, but now, I'm not even sure." Kurt bit his lip, "I care a lot about you Blaine, I care so much about you and I like you a great deal. I… I love you, but I'm still in love with Sam and I hate that feeling. I hate the feeling of being in love with someone and having no control over it. I hate it. It's not fair, it's not fair to anyone especially you, Blaine."

"So, what do you want to do?" His voice was soft and sensitive, almost as if he had been in the same position before.

Kurt shrugged, trying to avoid eye contact with Blaine, "I don't know what I want to do. I will always have a connection with Sam, no matter how much I may hate it. I mean he's the father of Landon, I can't change that or avoid that…." Kurt sighed; so many emotions were coming out through his speech that he was scared he was losing Blaine as he continued to speak, "I used you." He finally said, moving away from Blaine and standing near a tree. Blaine said nothing merely looking at him, waiting for him to continue.

"When I met you, I thought who is this guy? He's handsome and he loves music, he's like the perfect guy, but I was so stuck on Sam and I thought you could be my escape." Kurt turned back to Blaine, "My way out. But that wasn't fair to you, especially after I began to fall for you. I fell for you Blaine and that's what hurt the most. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place and I don't even know what to do. I don't know how to handle this. I…" Kurt's voice trailed off as he caught himself crying softly through his words, "I don't want to lose you Blaine, but I don't want to lose myself along the way."

"Come here." Blaine said simply, sliding over on the park bench waiting for Kurt. Kurt turned away from him, his tears falling slowly down his cheeks. "Come here." Blaine said softly.

Kurt walked over towards the bench and sat down; Blaine wrapped his arms around him as he buried his head into Blaine's chest. "Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood." Blaine sang softly into Kurt's ear.

Kurt smiled through his sobs and sang softly with a cracking voice, lifting his head upwards, "Like a ship blown from its mooring by a wind off the sea like a seed dropped by a skybird in a distant wood."

Blaine reached out and intertwined his fingers with Kurt's as they both looked outwards towards the sunset singing softly together, "Who can say if I've been changed for the better? I do believe I have been changed for the better."

Blaine lifted Kurt's head and looked at him with his deep eyes and smiled, "Because I knew you."

Kurt smiled back weakly, his tears still coming down slowly, "Because I knew you."

Kurt rested his head back onto Blaine's shoulder as Blaine kissed his forehead, his free arm wrapped around Kurt as his hand stayed intertwined with his as they looked out towards the sunset, "I have been changed for good…"