Severus turned from the Great Hall and descended into his dungeons, allowing his hunger remind him of how pitiful he was. He had lead the one person who also had shown the capacity to love without expecting much in return to her death. The only other person who operated like he did; however, she used her gift much more wisely.

Severus sat in his classroom, doing his best to withhold his tears. Lockheart and his associates would be down any minute to serve the last of their detention. He felt empty.

An hour passed without his noticing. Lockheart and his buddies had still not arrived. What were they playing at?

Severus got up to go and complain to Professor Flitwick when a silver phoenix swooped into the room.

"Meet me in my office immediately," came Dumbledore's voice from the mouth of the phoenix before it disappeared.

Severus hesitated. The war was over. His position as a spy was over. Would Dumbledore be luring him to be captured by the aurors to be sent to Azkaban?

Severus slunk into his office, hoping Dumbledore would not note his slight tardiness. He found a vial of painless poison in his desk drawer and pocketed it. Death would be a much better alternative to Azkaban. Besides, he had nothing left to live for.

When Severus made it to the headmaster's office, he felt mostly contained. He had cried his tears at Godric's Hallow. This would be a professional meeting.

"Come in," Dumbledore's voice commanded calmly.

The calmness of his voice made Severus's tears try to pool in his eyes. He took a deep breath to push them back in his skull and then entered the room. He would maintain his composure.

"Have a seat," Dumbledore commanded.

Severus obeyed out of habit.

"I daresay you have heard the news…" Dumbledore began.

Severus kept his mouth shut. His lip was trembling. Why was he having an emotional response now?

"…Lord Voldemort was given the information on where the Potters were hiding yesterday and he attacked them last night. He killed James and then Lily," (at this point, tears were beginning to silently run down Severus's face), "but then his killing curse rebounded—"

Severus let out a horrible cry. His mind had reflected back on when he had seen Lily's lifeless body on the floor. It was his fault. She was dead and it was all his fault. He provided the prophecy. He failed to give the Dark Lord enough service to be worthy of having such a request granted.

Dumbledore said nothing as Severus cried out his heart. Severus's bouts of guilt were suddenly squashed when he saw Dumbledore standing there completely composed and he remembered that Dumbledore had failed in his promise, but he didn't feel as destroyed as Severus felt.

"I thought…you were going…to keep her…safe…" Severus managed to get out between sobs. He knew it didn't sound as threatening as he had hoped it would.

"She and James put their faith in the wrong person," Dumbledore said. "Rather like you, Severus. Weren't you hoping that Lord Voldemort would spare her?"

Rage filled Severus, but he kept it down. He had diversified his trust. He hadn't relied solely on the Dark Lord, unlike how the Potters relied solely on Sirius Black, of all people.

"Her boy survives," said Dumbledore.

Why was he mentioning something so irrelevant? Since the war was over, all that mattered was that Lily was dead.

"Her son lives," Dumbledore repeated. "He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the shape and colour of Lily Evans's eyes, I am sure?"

"DON'T!" Severus shouted. He couldn't believe that Dumbledore was rubbing it in that Lily had ended up with James Potter of all people, but that didn't matter now. Lily was, "Gone…Dead…"

"Is this remorse, Severus?"

"I wish…I wish I were dead…" Severus couldn't believe he had said those words out loud. He had thought about it and feeling more strongly about it. He had always planned on dying before her. There was never the option of his living and her dying.

"And what use would that be to anyone?" Dumbledore said coldly. "If you loved Lily Evans, if you truly loved her, then your way forward is clear."

Did Dumbledore just use the word love? Did he not think him some dirty pervert? Had Dumbledore seen love inside of him?

But the war was over.

"What—what do you mean?"

"You know how and why she died. Make sure it was not in vain. Help me protect Lily's son."

"He does not need protection. The Dark Lord has gone—"

"—the Dark Lord will return, and Harry Potter will be in terrible danger when he does."

It was unusual, but Severus knew it could happen. There were various methods in the dark arts for escaping death. If the Dark Lord was back, he wanted his vengeance for the Dark Lord's betrayal. The boy, while half James Potter, was still part Lily. It had been his life goal to protect Lily, perhaps a piece of Lily would do. She had also been strongly against killing oneself.

While it was not an ideal situation, it did seem like the only way to keep moving forward. The only way to not be stuck on this moment forever.

Severus tried to come up with other options, but they all seemed empty. He could take on this challenge. He would even try to go back to the Dark Lord so that his betrayal would hurt as much as the Dark Lord's betrayal had hurt him. As long as only Dumbledore knew how much Lily's loss hurt him, it would work. He knew the Dark Lord had told the Death Eaters about his request to save Lily, but, as long as they didn't know she meant more to him than the Dark Lord, it would work.

"Very well. Very well. But never—never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it!" Severus couldn't help but think of all the people that had mocked his friendship with Lily to be motivated by as shallow a motivation as lust. It would be best to not let that rumor take hold in another generation. "I cannot bear…especially Potter's son…I want your word!"

"My word, Severus, that I shall never reveal the best of you?" Dumbledore sighed and there was a moment where Severus was not sure if he would promise. Then he continued, "If you insist…"

The next morning Severus was exhausted as he was unable to sleep, but he was not going to show that weakness to his students. He was furious and his first class that morning were the seventh years. There were three students in that class that deserved some reprehending.

"Lockheart, Hickleburt, Korr," Severus called from the door that he was opening to let the students in. "I need to speak with you in the hallway before class begins."

"You wanted to see us about rescheduling last night's detention?" Korr asked.

"No, I want to ask why you did not show up. I waited all night for you and you failed to come. There—"

"But sir, You-Know-Who had been defeated, you can't expect us—" Lockhart interrupted, but Severus interrupted back with vitriol.

"There is no reason to not show up to a detention unless I say otherwise. I did not give any of you permission to not come to detention, therefore you each will serve detention every night this week as well as one to make up for last night. While you might think I look like a classmate, I assure you, I am not. I am a professor. I have authority. I will see you in my dungeons at 6pm every night this week, no excuses."

He then gestured for them to enter the classroom in front of him. He slammed the door and strode to the front of the classroom. The students could tell there was a difference and were silent. It was the most peaceful seventh year class all term.

It was later that day that rumors started that Professor Snape was a Death Eater and was pissed off because You-Know-Who had been defeated. When Severus heard those rumors, it didn't bother him. It would make it all the easier to convince the Dark Lord that he never strayed when he returned.

**Part of the dialogue is taken from Prince's Tale