~Chapter 11~

Secrets

BPOV

I knew I had to be the one to tell my dad.

He didn't even know Edward was back, but I'm pretty sure that if Edward had told him, he'd probably pull out his gun and threaten Edwards life. My dad was still upset over the fact Edward left me broken and dead inside. He never brought it up, but anytime someone would mention his name in the early days, I would go crazy. I'd start sobbing and screaming and throwing things and then I'd take off and get lost in the woods for hours, until someone would find me.

It killed my dad to see me like that.

It killed me to remember myself like that.

My dad was so happy when I'd started dating Jake, he'd done everything to make it convenient for us to do so. He would go to Sue Clearwater's for dinner several nights a week, Billy would come up and eat dinner with Charlie and watch the games, so Jake and I could have alone time.

I really thought I was giving it my all with Jake.

The first time we made love, I remembered I cried for hours after, Jake not knowing why, I told him it was because I was so happy. But, in reality I was pissed off at myself for letting Jake take away my virginity.

I always thought it would be Edward, I wanted it to be Edward. Jake was great in the love making department, I had no complaints, but his touches weren't the same, they were rougher, not as much romance, sometimes, none at all, just as long as he got his, especially towards the end.

That's when I knew I had to end things, I couldn't just lay there night after night, wrapped in Jake's arms, feeling dead.

Jake was so in love with me, he'd proposed 3 times, all with in the last 3 years of our relationship.

He wanted a family, Charlie and Billy urged this and Charlie was furious every time I turned him down.

We'd get into huge arguments about it, then he'd say "Damn it Bella!, Edward doesn't want you, he never wanted you, that's why he left! Get over it and marry Jacob while you still can, he's not going to wait forever!" That was after the second proposal.

The first time he'd told me that, my heart shattered, I couldn't believe that my father had said that to me!

I didn't talk to my dad for almost a month after that, which killed me, but I couldn't. How could he have been so mean.

So, here I was standing on my dad's porch and getting ready to break the big news to him, I had my hand shoved in my pocket, took a deep breath and knocked.

"Bells!" Charlie cried, grasping me in a bear hug and spinning me.

"Dad, put me down, I can't breathe!" I squeaked.

"What brings you here, you look upset, you and Jacob have another lovers fight." Charlie chuckled.

"Dad, I told you I broke up with Jake, it's been a week now, there is no more us!" I growled.

"Sure, sure, that's what you two always say." Charlie still smiling.

"Dad, please, I need to speak to you seriously, please come and sit down." I led him over to the couch.

"Bells, what's up? Are you pregnant?" Charlie said with a sly smile.

"What? Wh--?NO! I am NOT pregnant!!!" I screamed.

"Listen Charlie, a few things have happened over the past few days. I've had some major life changing events take place and I just need your reassurance, that you'll support me and be happy for me, no matter what!" I had a plastered on fake smile.

"Bells, you know I support you 100%, no matter what. Please tell me, is something wrong? Are you sick? Dating someone new?" Charlie almost hit it on the head.

I smiled after the last one.

"You're dating someone new?" Charlie asked.

"Yes and no… He's not 'new' per se and I'm not 'dating' him per se." I giggled.

"What then? Tell me, it's killing me." Charlie emphasized.

"Well dad, ( I pulled my hand out of my pocket, but kept in hidden) Edwardisbackintownandhe;sonlybeen thinkingofmeandhewantstomarryme!" I screamed and put the ring in his face.

"WHAT?" Charlie turned 10 shades of red.

"You heard me dad, Edward is back and we're engaged!" I was all smiles.

"Bella, I know you've loved Edward forever, but he's been gone for 8 years, you're a different person, he's a different person. How do you know it's even the same kind of love?" Charlie replied.

"Dad, I had never stopped loving Edward. If I had, maybe I would have married Jake, but it wasn't there. When Edward asked me I said yes, not even having to think about it. When Jake would ask, I'd get quite and freeze up." I said.

"Is this what you really want Bells?" Charlie asked, holding my face so he could look into my eyes.

"Yes dad, I want this more than anything!" I replied.

"Have you told him everything that happened between you and Jacob? EVERYTHING??? Even last summer?" Charlie said sternly.

"NO! You and Billy, Jake and I are the ONLY ones who know, NOT even ALICE knows!" I spat.

"You need to tell him, it's important." Charlie replied.

"Dad, it's old news, none of that matters, I'm starting new and fresh." I quipped.

"Fine, but if he finds out, there will be hell to pay! Edward is jealous and Jacob is jealous, if Jacob wanted to get back at you, he's tell Edward." Charlie snapped.

"Dad, just let me know I have your blessing" I sighed.

"Yes, if you're happy, you've got my blessing" Charlie smiled.

"Thanks dad!" I gave him and hug and kiss and told him I'd see him later.

As I drove off, my dads words haunted me.

I knew I needed to tell Edward, but I couldn't!

I needed to go see Jake and talk to him.

I headed to Jake's apartment.

I knocked on the door and some blond bimbo answered, nice, glad he's still upset over the break-up, this might be easy.

"Who is it ?" I heard Jake ask.

Then he was at the door.

"Go get dressed and leave." He spat at the girl.

He held the door open for me and motioned me in, wrapping his towel around him and motioning for me to sit.

He excused himself to put on some clothes and I could here him arguing a little with the bimbo, he had he by the elbow and escorted her out the door.

"Sorry, didn't know I'd have much more important company tonight." Jake smiled that wonderful smile and sat there shirtless, which he knew I loved.

"What's up?" he asked sitting across from me.

"Well, you know Edward is back, right?" I asked, head down, not meeting his glare.

"Yes!" Jake spat.

"Well, I had dinner with him and we had a long talk about everything that's happened over the past 8 years." I started.

"EVERYTHING?" Jake interrupted, knowing that I hadn't brought that up!

"All but that, only because it's so personal to you and I and only our fathers know.

"I don't see how that would change anything." I spat.

"Well, he could look at you as tainted, now!!! How and the hell would you want to see him after he left you broken and in shambles." Jacob was yelling now.

"Jake, please, calm down." I reached my hand across to touch his on the table and…OOPPSSS!!!

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??? WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO BELLA? ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY THAT FUCKER AFTER HE LEFT YOU!!! HOW? WHY? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME??? TO US!!!

TO OUR FUCKING BABY, THAT YOU MISCARRIED!!!" Jake was red and fuming, I was sobbing, he was pulling on my arm, it hurt so bad.

"Jake, let go damn it, it hurts!!!" I screamed.

"No! No Bella!!! How could you except his proposal??? I was there for you through the worst times and our best!" "Was it his money??? Is that it??? Are you just marrying some out who'll been there. Or do you want someone who truly loves you!!! Jake whispered in my ear, with my arm he had wrapped around my waist.

He slowly turned me around, so I was facing him and was glaring at me with black eyes.

"Why, Bella, why? I mean, look at this ring! Is it for his money and looks, because I always thought you were happy with our meager lifestyle. I mean, I can't afford to take you to Paris, but we did get to NY and a few other places. Why after 8 years would you believe anything he said?" Jake was holding back tears.

"Jake, you know I always had feelings for Edward. Even if it were ones of hate for a while, but she was pretty convincing Friday. Just keep our secret, please don't tell him. Please!" I begged.

He kept hold of me and continued to stare at him, suddenly my phone rang. Jake grabbed it out of my hands "Hello?" Jake asked. The voice taken aback asked "Is Isabella there?"

The phone was now shoved into my face as he shoved me away, I almost fell.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Um, hi Isabella" It was Edward.

"Hi Edward, what's up?" I asked.

"Nothing much, were are you?" Bella asked me into the phone.

"Edward, I'm… on my way to your house, see you in a few. Love you! Bye!" That should get the 50 questions off my back.