Chapter 11: kill me, save me
An unnerving silence filled the air as harsh grey eyes tore at the steady brown gaze, and then a low cruel laugh began, which stopped abruptly as Sabine slowly rose forcing Eponine back.
"I was a woman before I was a mother", were the simple but honest words which fell from Sabine's mouth.
"That might true but… it doesn't change the fact that you'll die as a mother", Eponine's words lay heavily across Sabine's fair lashes as they closed over her cool grey eyes. When they unfurled again a renewed venom swirled within those irises, a venom which seemed to seep deep into her veins and she aggressively shoved Eponine back pinning her against the wall her elbow by her neck.
"you're right, I'm a mother… so as mother I tell you straight…you're not good enough for my son" a knowing smile graced Sabine's lips and she leaned even closer tell her lips were practically gazing Eponine's ear "if it came down to it, who do you think he'll choose his mother…or his orphan flavour of the month", leaning back Sabine watched as the side of Eponine's mouth twitched, as her lashes trembled and then she too was being shoved back.
"choose…", it was Eponine's turn to laugh mirthlessly "you really are crazy…", frustrated tears rose to the surface of Eponine's eyes but remained unfallen "I'm an orphan…I've lived most of my life as an orphan so more than anyone I know the pain of not having parents…I've felt that pain three times…each time more unbearable than the last…that you think I would even think about inflicting that kind of pain on Enjolras, on someone I lo- like is probably the most offensive thing you'll ever be able to say to me", as she watched the shaking girl stringently holding in her tears Sabine smiled.
Unwilling to let Sabine see her completely fall apart Eponine pushed past, ending up in a long corridor her fast walk quickly morphing into a run, a run which came to an abrupt end when she smashed into a solid figure, a figure who grabbed her arm gently,
"Christ…easy", Enjolras jested smiling, a smile that froze on his face when Eponine's head slowly rose and he was confronted with teary and tired eyes. "What happened…Eponine….what happened to you?", sighing Eponine shook her head as she tried to find the words.
"I feel like a walk…lets go for a walk", although a small smile managed to shiver onto her lips her big brown eyes were still tainted with teary despair. Enjolras opened his mouth to ask more, but the gaze in Eponine's eyes stopped him instead he slipped his hand down her arm till it found her dainty fingers. Giving her cool hands a gentle squeeze, he wordlessly pulled her towards the exit.
As the cool breeze hit their faces Enjolras' hand slipped from Eponine's fingers, kneeling he once again offered her his back.
"Get on…I'll carry you", Eponine's brows furrowed in confusion as she stared down at Enjolras' comforting back.
"I'm not hurt..." she said quietly after a short pause,
"You are…you're hurt…I won't ask again Eponine…get on", hesitantly Eponine draped herself across Enjolras' back wrapping her arms round his neck, and as he stood locking her feet tightly again and good thing too because Enjolras suddenly broke into a run. Eponine yelped tightening her grip as she bounced up and down.
"stop!...En-Enjolras!...stop" after a few feet more, he did finally stop, Eponine immediately slipped off a little unsteadily, and as he turned around a big grin was plastered across his face. Which only grew wider as he took in Eponine's wild hair, wild eyes, and red cheeks, seeing the satisfaction on his face Eponine punched his arm hard, he rubbed it still smiling.
"You crazy…bastard", Eponine said as she smoothed down her hair, Enjolras' grin mellowed into a gentle smile as he reached out and replaced his hands with hers,
"do you feel better now…" as Enjolras' gentle fingers stroked through her hair, calming her erratic heartbeat and easing the discomfort in her chest, she realized that she did in fact feel better, much better. And when her eyes locked onto his warm blue gaze she found herself a little overwhelmed by the affection swirling there, so she rushed forward and wrapped her arms round his waist pressing her face to his chest.
"I feel better…I feel better", she said quietly smiling into his chest.
"You guys make feel sick", Enjolras and Eponine separated swiftly at the sound of a familiar voice, turning they smiled as they took in the look of mock disgust etched into Lulu's face.
"Lu...you're back", warmth and affection coloured every word that fell from Enjolras' lips.
"Don't mind me…I'm heading in" Lulu said waving her hand dismissively,
"Actually its getting late…I should go home" Eponine said turning to Enjolras,
"I'll take you-"
"no-…I want to go alone", Enjolras frowned worried by the quick response but when he gazed into warm tired eyes, he understood.
"Okay…" Enjolras said with a sigh.
"Okay..." repeated Eponine as she turned and smiled at Lulu "see you around Lulu "and then she was heading towards the large gate.
"Where did you go…", although his tone was casual Lulu could her the interrogation lurking under the surface.
"I was at Thomas' café…" Enjolras frowning blues eyes found his sisters.
"You've been spending a lot of time there..."Lulu scoffed
"So…"
"So aren't you worried he'll get the wrong idea…"
"What idea is that…" Enjolras sighed looking away for a moment
"That you like him…"
"I do….", there was no hesitation in her response so Enjolras searched for it in her eyes hoping to see a lie, a jokey playfulness swirling in his sisters pale blue eyes, but they were deadly serious.
"Lu…you can't like him"
"Why can't I…because I'm dying", ignoring the flicker of despair that passed through Enjolras' eyes, Lulu kept her gaze steady.
"That's not what I meant…it's just he's too old…and he's not good enough for you… you deserve better Lu…"Enjolras' voice drifted off as a darkness seeped into Lulu's eyes.
"You sound just like mum…not good enough?...not good enough?" Lulu scoffed rubbing her forehead clearly agitated "I'm dying, Enjolras…. I'm the one not good enough for him not the other way around...what man would want a woman whose body was wasting away...what man?"
"Lu-"
"But don't worry big bro nothing will happen…firstly he's in love with someone else…secondly I'd never confess, he's the kind of fool who'd love me out of pity… the kind of fool who'd pretend just to make me happy…and I don't want that… So don't worry I plan on leaving this world with as few casualties as possible", Enjolras grabbed Lulu's arms, his grip unnecessarily firm almost painful,
"why do you that…talk as if you're already on your death bed…why are you in such a hurry to die…you're fine Lu…you'll be fine…why do you-"
"I've come to terms with the fact that I won't get better…maybe it's time you do", Enjolras grip loosened till his hands had completely slipped off Lulu's arms, sighing she walked past heading towards the house, leaving him alone on the lawn.
When Lulu entered the house she found her mother drinking in the dining room and as their eyes made contact, Sabine smiled while Lulu's face remained emotionless.
"Well if it isn't the dying daughter…"
"Go to hell..." Sabine laughed,
"Just stating the facts…you are dying Lu", Lulu approached slowly pulling up a chair she stared at her mother.
"I don't want to be dying…I wish I was already dead mum…so that I wouldn't have to see your face… or grandpa's... or Enjolras sad eyes, or the warm eyes of the person I like…I want to die right now…and be at peace mum… so would you do it if I asked you ….would you kill me mum?", a deadly silence fell over the living room,
"if you want to die… do it alone", Sabine said calmly and as Lulu absorbed her words she smiled nodding as she stood,
"You're right…that would be best…alone", turning she drifted away through the big doors into the long and dark corridor.
Once she'd gone Sabine's hand began shaking as she reached for her wine glass taking a large gulp, she tried to calm the erratic beating of her heart, five years, it'd been five years since Lulu had called her mum, it was also the first time in a long time where she asked her for something, the first time it wasn't words of anger frustration and disappointment aimed at her. Pushing the glass away Sabine drank straight from the bottle.
There was nothing Enjolras hated more than upsetting his little sister, of going to bed angry, mad and hurt at each other. Taking a deep breath he knocked on the door and waited for her small sweet face to appear, but nothing happened, he knocked again and again finally he leaned against the door.
"Lu…I know you're mad but we have to talk… Open up", nothing, sighing again he gripped the door handle "I'm coming in, I hope you're decent", pushing the door open it took Enjolras' eyes a few seconds to adjust to the dim lightening and as they did, they fell across the silhouette of his sister laying on the bed, asleep. Sighing he approached cautiously only stopping when he heard a crunch under his feet, gazing down his eyes took in all the tiny pills scattered across the floor, frowning he followed the trail which lead to the bedside table, where a tiny white bottle was tipped on its side, white pills dripping from the mouth. Slowly his eyes moved back to Lulu, finally noticing the undignified way her arm hung off the side of the bed.
And he stopped breathing.
AN: sorry this took a while, I'm in the middle of my end of term essays…but I will try and update as soon as I can, anyway thanks for the reviews, favourites and views, I appreciate it, hope this wasn't too dark..