I hope this provides a little distraction after a night of terrible news. Praying for everyone affected in Paris.

Sorry to anyone who is tired of seeing Sydney always being made out to be the bad guy, but I had to do it for this story...and come on! She did leave Jamie after all! :)

Chapter 11

Jamie was plating the rice, vegetables and salmon he'd cooked when he heard the door to the loft open and close.

"Jamie?" Sydney called out from the entryway as she put her things down and sniffed the air appreciatively. Her stomach grumbled at the prospect of finding dinner already prepared.

"Hey, Syd. Perfect timing. I'm in the kitchen," Jamie replied.

Sydney followed the sound of his voice and smiled when she found him in the kitchen. "Hey," she greeted as she approached, kissing him hello before taking a few seconds to check out their dinner. "Wow, you cooked?" she asked, her brows arched up in surprise as she spotted the sink full of dirty pots and pans.

"Yeah," Jamie confirmed before looking up from the food he'd plated to meet his wife's eyes. "What's with the look?" he asked, wondering if this was something he never did for her. He picked up the plates and took them over to the dining room table.

"Nothing. It's a nice surprise is all. We hardly ever have time to cook with our schedules," Sydney explained as she followed Jamie, surprised again by the bottle of wine that was already uncorked and waiting for them.

Jamie lowered the plates onto the table and pulled a chair out for his wife. "I didn't feel like takeout," he shrugged. He also hoped that the wine and a home cooked meal would be enough to ease the blow of the bombshell he was about to drop.

Sydney had a pleased look on her face as she placed a napkin across her lap. "So how was your first day back at the office? I guess I was also surprised to see that you beat me home. I figured it would be a late night with your trial tomorrow," she said.

Jamie stiffened momentarily, but quickly busied himself with pouring wine into their glasses. He was hoping they could talk about other things before either of them touched upon the topic of work. "Okay," he answered casually.

But Sydney picked up on his apprehension and frowned. "Okay?" she echoed.

Jamie cleared his throat nervously and sent her a tight smile. "Yeah," he said as he began to cut into his food.

"What's wrong, Jamie?" Sydney asked, leaning against the table to give him her full attention. She waited him out until he finally looked her in the eyes.

Jamie hated that she already looked worried. He knew he wouldn't be able to delay his news and took a deep breath while he lowered his knife and fork onto his plate. "I quit my job," he said softly, hoping against all odds that he'd get a calm reaction - enough at least to allow him a chance to explain.

Sydney could have sworn that he just said that he quit his job, but she thought she was imagining it and stared back in silence for several long moments until she could finally speak. "You what?" she gasped.

Jamie could see that her mind was racing a million miles an hour, but she was restraining herself while she waited for confirmation. "I quit. I couldn't do it anymore, Sydney," he said.

Sydney didn't know what to think and shook her head in disbelief. "Do what, Jamie? Be a lawyer after going through three years of law school? What the hell did you think you were going to be?" she asked too calmly for Jamie's liking. "Jesus. So the crazy talk from the other night, you actually went through with it? What the hell are you going to do, Jamie?" she asked as she began to lose her temper.

Jamie was quiet, now afraid to reveal his grand plan. He was having a serious case of deja vu.

"Jamie? What are you going to do?" she asked more forcefully, her eyes locked on his.

Jamie figured he might as well get it over with and hoped for the best. "I'm going to apply to the police academy," he stated.

Sydney sat back in her chair, her jaw dropping at his response. "This is...this is just crazy," she mumbled to herself. She then continued by asking, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah, Syd. I picked up an application this afternoon," he told her.

Sydney looked away, dumfounded by all of this. She thought she'd be having a quiet evening at home as they both lounged around preparing for their days in court. And now here she was coming to the realization that her husband was probably brain damaged. That's what this was; it had to be. Sydney suddenly got up out of her seat and walked towards the entryway.

Jamie's mouth opened to ask where she was going but he was unable to get his voice to work, suddenly terrified that she was just going to walk out on him. She disappeared from his sight and returned a moment later with her cell phone in her hand. Jamie frowned as he watched her search for something. "What are you doing, Syd?" Jamie inquired.

"I'm calling your neurologist. He said to call if you displayed any more strange behavior," she replied without so much as a glance in his direction.

Jamie got up from his chair and took a few steps towards her, placing a hand over her phone just as she was about to hit the call button. "Syd, stop," he ordered. "This has nothing to do with the accident," he explained. Although technically it did, he thought to himself.

A short laugh burst from Sydney's mouth and she gave her husband a skeptical look. "Oh, yeah? Then what the hell do you mean you're going to apply to the police academy? Where is this coming from then?" she asked worriedly.

"I've been thinking about it for a long time," he claimed.

Sydney's hands dropped to her sides at that revelation. "How long?"

"How long what?" Jamie asked.

Sydney crossed her arms in front of her, concern was starting to turn into anger. "You said you've been thinking about this for a long time but somehow I'm just hearing about this now. If that's true, then how long have you been thinking about this?" she asked. She was afraid of his answer. If it was true, that this wasn't due to his incident, and he'd kept this from her for a long time, she would consider it a betrayal on his part.

Jamie ran his hands across his face in frustration and turned away from his wife because in this reality, it was not a question he could answer honestly. From what he had seen at the office, he could tell 'he' wasn't happy with his job, but 'he' couldn't tell her how long he'd felt that way or what this Jamison Reagan had planned to do about it. He could only tell her what he knew to be true: that he'd always known deep down that he wasn't meant to be an attorney. "I don't know, Sydney," he began as he turned back to face her, "but I haven't been happy with my job for a long time." Jamie paused for a response and when he got nothing but a pained expression from Sydney, he forged on. "I'm sorry that this is coming out of the blue. But today, well, I realized that I couldn't defend that kid without feeling like it went against everything I believe in," he added.

Sydney was unable to hold back and unleashed her frustration and anger on him. "So give up criminal law!" she shot back as her arms flew up in the air. "Go into civil litigation like me or family law or any law, but where the hell is this police idea coming from, Jamie?!" she demanded. Her shoulders rose and fell with every heavy breath she took.

"I think I'd be good at it. I can make a difference and help people," he argued.

"So you could go out there and possibly get shot at?! You'd still be dealing with the same criminals you're defending, only difference being they will want to hurt or kill you and for what? For peanuts, Jamie. You'd be a civil servant," she pointed out, her eyes wide and desperate for him to come to his senses.

"It's not about the money," he countered.

Sydney narrowed her eyes at him. "Sure it's not, not when you're not bringing it in anymore," she snapped.

Jamie was stunned - like he'd been slapped in the face. "That's not fair, Sydney. And since when has money been more important than doing what makes us happy?" he asked.

Sydney pointed her finger between the two of them, her brow creasing at his ridiculous statement. "Us? Funny you use that word, because you weren't considering me when you made your choice. We're supposed to be a team," she replied, hurt clearly evident in her tone. "We have plans, Jamie."

"You're right," he admitted. He'd been selfish and a coward for not discussing this with her first...really discussing it with her and not letting her run away when he brought it up. They were supposed to be a team, but he had a feeling he wouldn't receive a reaction much different than what he'd once gotten before, probably the reason he'd gone through with it without consulting her. "I'm sorry, but I really need you to trust me on this. I know that it's a shock, but I love you Sydney and I really need you to back me on this," he begged as he took hold of her hands. "We'll get through this together," he promised, repeating the same words he'd once before.

Sydney looked from his face down to where he held her hands. "I don't know what to think. I can't even look at you right now," she whispered sadly before pulling her hands free and walking away. Syndey left him standing in the middle of their loft as she stormed into their bedroom, throwing the door closed behind her.

Jamie felt his heart drop just like it had when Sydney had left him before. His breathing quickened and a cold sweat broke out across his forehead as the fear that he was about to lose Sydney for a second time became real. Suddenly, Jamie felt claustrophobic in their spacious and airy loft and he headed for the door, needing to run from the very mess he'd created all over again.

Jamie walked aimlessly down the sidewalk, shivering when the cold night breeze cut through the thin material of his dress shirt. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, his shoulders slumped and his eyes downcast. The headache that had come and gone since he'd first woken up in the emergency room days ago was back in full force - a stabbing pain at both temples that made him thankful for the late hour and the dim lighting of whatever residential street he was on. Even his stomach was beginning to protest, but he wasn't sure if it was because of the headache or his argument with Sydney. Jamie was the epitome of misery to anyone that walked by him, but he could care less about appearances. His mind was consumed with the mess he'd created, even oblivious to the fact that he had frantically run out of the loft without a jacket and with no idea as to where he was going. He just needed some air and to distance himself from the chaos that was his life.

Jamie had woken up everyday wishing for everything to be back to his idea of normal and hating himself for it because his normal didn't include Joe and it certainly didn't include Sydney anymore either. He was on the verge of losing Sydney again and for what? To be cop? Because it's what he was meant to be? He thought that was what all of the men in his family were supposed to be too, but they weren't and they were fine with that. Happy, even. So why couldn't he accept the fact that maybe he wasn't meant to be one either. Jamie was starting to suspect that he was just being selfish. He had this amazing opportunity to have Joe in his life without any threats from the Blue Templar and Sydney as his wife...he was possibly throwing one of those away with this obsession.

Jamie's right hand flew out of his pocket to brace the side of his head when the pain suddenly radiated all over. He came to a stop and cursed himself loudly, earning a nervous glance from a passerby. He stepped over to a wrought iron fence in front of a brownstone and reached over to steady himself, unable to stop from obsessing about everything when his body wanted nothing more than to find a dark corner to crawl into. Jamie looked around the unfamiliar neighborhood, unsure of where he was and how far he had strayed. He swallowed thickly and closed his eyes, wishing he was someplace warm and safe, opening them when one person came to mind - Joe.

Jamie reached into his pocket for his phone, blinking repeatedly when the light from the device pained his eyes. He easily found a speed dial icon for Joe on his home screen and initiated the call. The phone was halfway to his ear when a spike of pain immediately brought him to his knees. Thankfully, Jamie was already blissfully unaware by the time his head struck the cold concrete sidewalk with a hallow thud. The phone fell to the ground along with its owner, the screen now dark and shattered.

Very long chapter going up tomorrow to wrap things up. I hope it doesn't disappoint.