Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns everything in the Twiverse. No copyright infringement intended. Just having fun with my favorite lovebirds.

Chapter 11: Only Human?

Edward's POV

The sun was hidden high behind the clouds on Monday morning, drying the damp earth before her next scheduled soaking. Warblers and golden-crowned kinglets cooed and called in the crisp air, their morning songs trilling through the woods. Stubborn summer leaves were bright and green, ignoring autumn's gradual advance. Yet everything in my line of sight seemed sepia-toned—the color of chocolate, rich and mysterious. The color of passion, deep and luxurious.

"Edward?"

The color of life, eternal and sure. The color of love, priceless and pure.

"Edward!"

It appeared that Bella was speaking to me. "I'm sorry, Love. What?"

She blushed under my unblinking gaze, her eyes bemused. "I realize that you have inhumanly quick reflexes, but would you humor me by keeping your eyes on the road?"

I glanced briefly at the windshield, too quickly for her to notice. "I'd rather keep my eyes on you."

She touched my cheek affectionately then turned my face away. "On the road, buddy. Or I'm driving."

It was bad enough we'd had to take her ancient truck. There was no way I would also let her drive. "You know, you could meet me halfway and let me buy you a car."

"How would that be meeting you halfway?"

"I'd let you pick the color."

She swatted me with a laugh. "You are such a Neanderthal."

I grinned. "Maybe, but you love me."

"Yes, I do," she said. "Very much."

Our eyes locked as the moment became more than mere banter. I looked at Bella for the thousandth time since Friday afternoon, thanking God again that she was mine. My hand made its way to her cheek, caressing it with the back of my fingers. She sighed and closed her eyes, entwining her fingers with mine. I reveled in the simple joy of touching her hand, lost in thought about our weekend.

Our weekend…our magical, glorious weekend together…had been something out of a sonnet, or perhaps from a discarded scene from A Midsummer Night's Dream. We had kissed and lay and whispered and touched from dawn till dusk, cocooned in a world of our own design.

After the descending darkness expelled us from the meadow, we breathlessly arrived back at my house, stumbling our way up the backstairs. I felt giddy and goofy and happier than I'd ever thought possible. I had pressed Bella against the outside wall of the house, peppering her neck with kisses while she squirmed and giggled in my arms. Her sweat and scent mixed exotically with the earthy florals from the meadow, making me high. I was unzipping her sweatshirt to feel more of her warmth when from inside the house, Jasper bellowed, "Could you please take that upstairs? You've got me so aroused that I want to make love to both of you!"

Bella clamped a hand over her mouth to suppress a laugh, winding her arm tightly around my neck. With a quick apology to my empathetic brother, I told Bella to hold on before leaping to the ledge outside my bedroom window. In seconds, we were back on the bed, eagerly picking up where we'd left off.

For the next two days, Bella had taken time to eat and be human, but for every other waking minute, she was with me, next to me, on top of me, beneath me. My hands had freely roamed her body whenever they could, my lips eager to sample whatever sliver of skin they could find. I had touched and kissed Bella with the best of my love, and amazing creature that she is, she had welcomed it.

I glanced at her from my eye's corner and marveled again. This beautiful, fearless woman had trusted me with her whole self: her fears, her secrets, and her body. Bella had let me experience things with her that would ordinarily make my frigid skin blush, things my reserved nature would never have allowed before.

But I had never hurt Bella like that before. I had never watched Bella run away from me...twice…before. That agony had shown me that for all of my belief that she might be better off without me, I would die without her. And that I had been a first-rate fool to think otherwise.

So when Bella threw herself into my arms after I had begged her to forgive me, I had no thought of refusing her. I had only wanted to savor every morsel I could get my hands, lips, and tongue on. And I had done it. Despite my strength and fear of hurting her, even despite those moments when I thought I had gone too far, I had safely expressed my love with her. I had tasted her without biting her, had held her without bruising her, had feasted on her without devouring her.

Yet I still wanted more.

As a vampire, I knew the nature of thirst. I knew what it meant to crave, covet, and yearn to the point of insanity. The first and only time I tried to dehydrate myself to death, after believing I could not make a worthy life out of the one I had been given, I had considered slaughtering an entire campsite—animals and humans alike—because my had thirst overpowered me. I knew that sort of thirst and thought nothing could ever compare to it.

But in a matter of days, my hunger for Bella had eclipsed any vampiric thirst I had ever known, surpassing even my initial thirst for her blood. My cold, lifeless body was humming with desire for her, fearing it would cease to exist if deprived of her presence for even a moment. I had engorged myself on her for three straight days and nights, and now it was time for things to go back to normal.

I didn't think I would survive.

We pulled into the school lot and once the car was parked, I sighed. "Are you sure we can't skip today?"

"You know I'm tempted." She kissed the back of the hand she was still holding. "But I missed the second-half of Friday, and we're having a quiz in Varner's class. Besides," she looked at me knowingly, "I've already conceded to let you come over this week. You should be grateful."

Ever since I had foolishly let it slip that I could smell everything, Bella had taken to avoiding me for about five days every month. It was only because of my excellent hospitality this weekend—and the fact that she didn't want to be away from me either—that she was lifting the embargo and letting me come to her at night. But visiting the Cullen house, where everyone's senses were as keen as mine, would not happen again until Friday.

I would take what I could get.

"I am grateful," I said seriously. "More than I could ever say."

She leaned on the center console and brushed my lips with hers. "No more of that, okay?" she murmured against my mouth. "Last week is in the past. Let's focus on the here and now."

My body tingled from the delicate contact, and I brought my hands to her face. "Can I still think about this weekend?"

"As much as you'd like," she grinned. "I know I will."

She kissed me again, then opened her door. I laughed as I climbed out, tickled by her playfulness.

Isabella Swan was truly something else. An angel of the kindest order. So much about her was innocent—her avoidance of the spotlight, her adorable clumsiness, her ability to blush on cue. I had sensed that innocence from the beginning; it was one of the most endearing and precious aspects of her personality.

But this weekend…oh, this weekend…I had discovered, literally uncovered the other side of Bella.

The naughty, delectable side.

My coquettish kitten had turned into a ferocious lioness in my arms, revealing womanly wiles I didn't know she had. I closed my eyes against the delicious shiver than ran down my body when the images began their parade behind my lids: saucy Bella teasing my lips with her tongue; rebellious Bella flinging her bra across the meadow, laughing when the cold wind blew across her skin; aggressive Bella perching herself on top of me, moving against the throbbing in my pants with purpose and passion….

"Earth to Edward."

Once again, I'd missed Bella's attempts to get my attention. "Yes, Love?"

She squeezed my hand and pointed toward the entrance to the parking lot. "Your car is here."

I had been so busy reminiscing about my weekend that I had totally forgotten that Esme had asked Alice to drive my Volvo today so I could have more alone time with Bella. I had planned to ask Emmett to drop it off at her house, then I would take her there before her shift at Newton's, but Esme beat me to it. From the tenor of Alice's thoughts, she was none too happy about it.

I looked down at Bella, and my expression must have amused her. "Go see Alice," she kissed me quickly. "I'm going to homeroom to find out what I missed on Friday. See you there?" I nodded, and she kissed me again before walking toward the largest of the brick buildings.

I waited until Alice stopped the car and entered on the passenger side. She sat with her arms folded across her chest, the frown almost humorous on her normally cheerful face.

Almost.

"Alice, I know that…."

"First, you stop speaking to me after Bella's party because I didn't foresee what would happen. As if anyone could have predicted that even accident-prone Bella would start bleeding from a paper cut! Then you get mad at my Jasper, feeding him so much anger and disappointment that it took me, Emmett, and Carlisle to physically keep him from running away while you took Bella home on Tuesday night."

So that's what she's been hiding from me.

"Then once you and Bella patch things up, which I really could not be happier about, you monopolized Bella for the entire weekend, so I never got the chance to talk to her about why she ran away from me. And then there's that little bomb she dropped about you accepting her choice to become one of us, which was sweet and wonderful but did me little good because now her future is more uncertain than ever. Yet I'm sure you'll expect me to keep checking to see if something changes even though you know I can only see what people do once they decide, and she hasn't decided what she wants to do yet, so what am I supposed to do with all of that, Edward?"

Alice was hyperventilating, which was alarming enough as she didn't need the oxygen. But she had never spoken to me like that. My blind euphoria faded for the first time since Friday as Alice's accusations hit their mark.

"I have behaved badly," I said after a while. She snorted her agreement.

"And not just any 'bad,'" I continued. "I mean, really bad. Bad like…like knock-off handbags with uneven stitches and garish patterns-bad." She winced but retained her anger. "I have no excuse for my behavior, and I'm asking you to forgive me. I had no right to take out my issues on you and Jasper, especially knowing how both of you feel about her. As for this weekend, I know you love Bella almost as much as I do, and I should have considered that you would need time with her also."

Her thoughts demurred, despite their lingering agitation about those handbags. "We were all scared after Bella's party," she said quietly. "Even Esme wondered if it might be better if we left for a while. So I understand that part. I just don't want you to ever think that you're alone in your concern for Bella. All of us, even Rose to a certain extent, care about her."

I scoffed at the idea of Rosalie caring about anyone other than herself but accepted Alice's point. "I know that now, and I'm sorry for what I've put you all through. I have been out of my head since I fell in love with Bella, but no one has been more affected by my choices than you."

She looked up but didn't respond. "Ever since James found us in the clearing, I have asked you to keep a constant lookout for potential threats to Bella's safety. I even had the audacity to be angry when she got away from you in Phoenix, even though I knew that wasn't your fault. I have heaped tremendous pressure on you, even resented you when you have done as much for her as anyone has, including me. I'm sorry I did that to you, and I promise that I will never do it again."

Her thoughts began to sweeten and slow down, her visions of harming me fading with my last words.

"Bella's party and its aftermath tore me apart," I said. "I have been adrift ever since and didn't really feel right again until…well, until…."

"Until she knocked you to the ground in the yard?"

I should have known she'd seen that. "Yes, somewhere around then."

"I truly am excited for you, Edward." Her spritely nature was back. "Seeing you like this makes me very happy."

"It made Jasper pretty happy as well."

Despite her pale pallor, Alice blushed to her roots. "Yes…I guess I should thank you for that too."

"No need," I grinned. "We were happy to share the wealth."

"It was really something to watch Emmett and Rose complain about all the good vibrations coming from your room," she mused.

I hadn't known that. The only thoughts I'd heard this weekend were my own, as I was too focused on Bella and me to care about anyone else's.

"Jasper, at least, could put all that energy to good use," she continued, trying to hide a grin.

"Emmett did all right," I said. He caught me away from Bella once, and "Soaking up that virgin love, Bro?" had been his greeting. He'd started to show me bonus footage of his recent exploits with Rosalie until I'd threatened to tell Esme what had really happened to her antique mirror in the foyer.

"So we're good?" I asked Alice.

"Almost," she said, and I could hear the wheels cranking in her mind. "As I see it, I did you a huge favor by keeping the family away even though you were being a butthead."

"You did it for Bella and at her request."

"Nevertheless, you were the chief beneficiary of my interference, and you owe me. Big time."

"I suppose you're right." I feigned confusion in my mind before showing her what I had purchased online while Bella was in the shower last night. The fringed suede stiletto boots hadn't even hit the stateside Gucci stores yet, and the rare ice blue shade guaranteed a quick sellout when they did. But a little cyber hacking and misdirecting was worth it to appease my favorite sister.

When Alice saw that the boots would be at our P.O. Box by 3:00 PM, she clapped and squealed so loudly that I thought the car windows would shatter. She flung her arms around my neck, nearly choking me with her glee. I peeled her off of me as the late bell rang, and she kissed me soundly on the cheek before whipping out her phone. Apparently, Jasper would be staking out the post office this afternoon.

I climbed out of the car and headed toward homeroom. Before long, I found myself within hearing distance of my favorite sound in the world. Bella's heartbeat was strong and steady, and I lingered outside the door for another moment to enjoy its melody in peace.

"You're only on time if you're in the room, Mr. Cullen," Ms. Fleiss hissed at me from across the hall. I nodded apologetically, despite my intense ire for the moody harpy and entered our homeroom.

Bella's soft eyes flitted to mine—she was talking to Brittany Young, a quiet student who took very good notes—then that beautiful blush washed over her face. I was struck dumb at the sight of her but forced myself forward to take my seat. She reached for my hand without pausing in her conversation, and her touch relaxed me instantly. I hadn't even known I was tense until I felt the anxiety dissipate in her presence. It had been far too long since I'd seen her, touched her, breathed her intoxicating scent.

I checked my watch and did the math. Only fourteen minutes had passed since she left the parking lot.

This was going to be a long day.

—o—o—o—o—o—o—o—o—o—o—

Trying to keep up the human charade could be tough at times. Trying to beat Alice in chess was an exercise in futility.

Trying to get through the morning without my arms wrapped around Bella had been almost impossible.

The first problem arose in Government. I was able to ignore the stares and thoughts when Bella and I had arrived hand-in-hand. I had even stopped short of growling at Lauren when she rolled her eyes. But Mr. Cromley was droning on about that mind-numbing film we'd watched last week, and as I'd memorized it the first time, I spent the entire fifty minutes reliving memories from our weekend: the sultry sound of Bella's voice as she breathed my name, the salty taste of Bella's shoulder, the enchanting feel of Bella's warm body in my hands. By the time class was over, I'd gotten so physically worked up that I'd had to wait until the next bell to move.

I knew I'd have to bribe Alice with the matching jacket to keep that little tidbit from Emmett.

Then during English, Mr. Varner replaced the quiz he'd promised with an in-class writing assignment. It should have been easy—creating a deleted scene for Act II of Romeo and Juliet—but midway through my writing, my eyes had drifted over to Bella. She had turned her paper sideways which meant she was still brainstorming ideas. Her chest rose and fell in sync with her deep breaths of concentration, and my eyes couldn't help but stare at the now-familiar swells of her sweater. She sighed, the soft, sensual sound pulling me closer, and I turned in my seat. This movement got Bella's attention…and that of Mr. Varner.

"Mr. Cullen." His nasally voice cut through the quiet room like a bitter wind. "Eyes off Miss Swan and on your own paper."

Mike Newton had gotten a hearty laugh out of that one.

Finally during third period, it was "Spanish-only Monday," and Señora Morena was going around the class, asking open-ended questions such as "What would you like to do after you graduate from high school?" and "What is your favorite childhood memory?" Bella was three rows away—the new instructor preferring to seat students according to last name—and had breezed through the question about her ideal vacation. But when Señora Morena got to me and asked, "What did you do this weekend?" I answered without thinking, and my first sentence made her drop her clipboard. No one was fluent enough to catch my native Spanish, but Señora's immediate glance at Bella, and the rosy blush that came over her pale skin, told it all. I'd quickly recovered with a more harmless answer, but it was official.

I was out of control.

I was a sexually awakened and thoroughly distracted male.

Which meant that I was really no better than Mike Newton.

That surprising thought sobered me. Was I truly as bad as that?

Newton's preoccupation with Bella had long ago forced my acquaintance with his thoughts, and certain things were clear. He wasn't just awkward around Bella; he really was that clueless in the female department. His inexperience embarrassed him and was a huge part of the real reason he and Jessica Stanley had stopped dating, a secret he would likely take to his grave.

But though their time together had been brief, Mike's thoughts often settled on his few physical encounters with her. So much so that I'd once felt as if I had been the one touching her.

That unwelcome sensation had kept me out of his head for a week.

Despite my superhuman ability to focus on many things at once, I couldn't think about anything other than Bella. I replayed our time together over and over again, fixating on certain details: the hitch in her breathing when my lips brushed her collarbone, the seventeen freckles on her abdomen, the swell of the left breast being a quarter-shade pinker than the right. I fed greedily on these memories, almost without cessation and found myself plotting ways to make more memories.

Wasn't that the same thing Mike Newton did?

I used to think his obsession with such moments proved how base he truly was. But as I was holding myself hostage on a similar train of thought with Bella, I was shocked to realize that I was no better than he. Despite my dozens of years on earth, right now, I was just another overstimulated teenage boy who had spent the weekend making out—was that the right term?—with his girlfriend and couldn't think about anything else. I was no more evolved than Eric Yorkie, Tyler Crowley, or even my nasty nemesis, Mike Newton.

As I watched the latter chew the end of his pen, one of the most disgusting human habits I'd ever seen, I began seeing Newton differently. In realizing that I was just as hormonally-handicapped as he, I realized that I'd judged him too harshly.

But as Señora Morena walked by his desk, his mental observations about her anatomy quickly dried up any sympathy I might have felt. With those few thoughts, he had highlighted the difference between me and teenage boys like him.

Teenage boys looked at physical intimacy as though it were a game. Their feelings were as transient as their focus, and any available females would suffice as partners. The bedroom or backseat of the car was the field on which they sought to see, come, and conquer. Their scorecards were etched with random names, the box scores detailing nothing but nudity and noise.

They missed the whole point.

Physical intimacy was a sacred communion between your soul and hers. It was the symbol that she loved, trusted, and desired you so much that she wanted to share her most private self with you. She wanted you to see her, know her, and touch her as only you could. Yes, I had seen Bella topless and had taken her fullness into my mouth. But laying my head against her bare breast while she told me stories about her childhood in Phoenix had been just as stimulating. I could kiss Bella for the rest of the ages, would never tire of tasting her luscious body. But for all its perfection, it was first and foremost the temple in which her beautiful spirit resided. And that's what made it divine.

But even that was only half of the allure.

As a mythical monster doomed to a frozen eternity, my body had always been a source of pain and self-loathing. My hard shell was repulsive to me, its arctic temperature an abhorrent reminder of what I truly was. My teeth with their deadly coating were the bane of my existence and the reason for my fear of being intimate with Bella.

But she, with her hands and trust, had expelled the isolation I had come to embrace as my burden. She had come to me, fearless and open, and accepted me—my vampiric family, my need to avoid sunlight, my desire for her blood, and beyond…. Yes, she had kissed me in the small space between my navel and the button on my jeans. But being able to lie beneath her, unashamed of my cold skin and silent chest, delighted me beyond expression. Knowing that my secrets were safe in the warm sanctuary of her heart...that with her, I didn't have to be anything other than who and what I was….

What could be more erotic than that?

As Señora Morena gave out tonight's homework assignment, I turned to Bella. My libidinous desires were in check, but I was overwhelmed by the depth of her love. Her soft brown eyes met mine across the classroom, and her smile touched me to my icy core.

The bell rang, releasing me from the obligation to ignore her any longer, and I ghosted to her side as quickly as human movement would allow. She started packing her bag, and then looked up, curiosity dancing in her eyes.

"Would you like to tell me what you said to Señora Morena?"

I chuckled but didn't respond. I was too overcome with how blessed I was…yes, blessed…that Bella had come to Forks and into my life. By making the selfless decision to liberate her mother, she had unchained my lonely heart. And I would forever be in her debt.

She looked up at my silence, her heart rate accelerating at the intensity in my eyes. "What?"

I bent to kiss her, the brief contact but a fraction of what I felt. "I love you."

She smiled, returning that beautiful pink to her cheeks. "I love you too."

My eyes continued to drink her in, our love enveloping us like a sweet cloud. Bella began to melt under my gaze, and her hands found their way around my neck. As our lips inched closer, someone cleared their throat from behind us. We both turned, blushing, to see Señora Morena in the doorway.

"Perdón," she smiled. "I need to prepare for my next class."

We muttered our apologies, then Bella took my hand and led me out of the back door with our profesora's gentle laughter at our backs.

We had started walking toward the lunchroom when she exclaimed, "I can't believe I forgot to tell you! Angela stopped me before homeroom and said that you told Ben that you wanted to double with them some time. I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but I know she must have heard wrong."

In truth, I'd forgotten all about that arrangement and was pleased that Bella hadn't believed Angela's report because I had wanted to see her reaction to it. "No, she's right," I said casually. "I told Ben to let you and Angela set it up."

Bella stopped walking, forcing those behind us to use the outside lanes. "You want to go on a double date with Angela and Ben?" Her voice was incredulous with a hint of delight. "Why?"

"It sounded like something you would enjoy."

Her mouth fell open, and she didn't respond. Then after a moment, she took my face in her hands and kissed me, her lips full and flush against mine. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome."

I could hear the gasps and envious grunts around us, as we were standing in the middle of the hall, but I didn't care. Bella was here, in my arms, and she was happy. What could matter beyond that?

"So when would you like to go? And what do you want to do? I should talk to Angela first, but she wouldn't care one way or the other…."

As Bella prattled on without waiting for a response, we entered the lunchroom. Angela was already in line and motioned for Bella to join her. Bella gave me her bookbag, and then bounded over to Angela. As I watched her conspire with Angela about our first double, I couldn't help remembering the last time I had been in this room: last Friday, after Bella had run away. I had been encouraged by Angela's words, but I still didn't know for sure if Bella would ever come back to me. Now as I looked up to find her grinning at me with a full tray of food, I stood in awe of how everything had changed since then.

Wow…what a difference a weekend makes.

Sorry this chapter took so long to write. Edward's thoughts were all over the place, and it took me forever to sort them out. But I really enjoyed getting a deeper understanding of his perspective, and I hope you did too!

Thank you again and again and again, CassandraLowery, for being my Beta these past three weeks. You have taught me so much about so much, and I am forever in your debt. I look forward to repeating this experience as often as I can :)

To all my faithful reviewers—I don't want to mention names because I'm afraid I'll leave someone out—thank you for believing in me and my story. Your insights and thoughts make me write faster and better…besides which, they make me smile!

And a final thank you to the readers who don't comment. I know you're out there, and I appreciate you coming along for the ride :)