Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz! c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus (Really? )! sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied! B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off (Its a wonder you have any friends at all really, even for a Mary Sue your a bitch) and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood (I'd get that checked out) and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume (So... she jumped and put a Linkin Park song on in mid air?). I grabbed a steak (NOT THE RUMP!) and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide. I was so fucking depressed! I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly. I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings (I am so glad there is no Hot Topic in England. So so glad). I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed… Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating (Thats it "Loopin" grind those teeth) to it! They were sitting on their broomsticks. (Slytherin dorms are in the dungeons... They must be on those pesky underground brooksticks)

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!" I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it (You just spent 4 excruciating lines describing what your wearing, Drama Queen). Suddenly Vampire ran in.

"Abra Kedavra!"(And a Rabbit appeared out of Snape's robes.. and then instantly died) he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb (Eww). I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion (Wow, unlimited ammo) times and they both started screaming and the camera broke. Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in. "Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" (Whaaa? Why is he yelling now? Are they dead?) he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

Hargrid ran outside on his broom (I don't know whats funnier, Hagrid on a broom, or a dude running round with one between his legs) and said everyone we need to talk.

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little (LMAO!) Hogwarts student!"

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!" (Satanism is rampant in Hogwarts, no wonder the Dursleys hate Wizards... Speaking of which, they'll get a shock when Harry comes home for summer)

"This cannot be." Snap said (He is one tough cookie, surviving being shot a "Gazillion" times) in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him. "There must be other factors." (He sounds almost like Snape)

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly. (Tara Shush, Hagrid is telling everyone why hes a Satanist)

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!" (Facepalm. For the most intelligent marauder...)

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

"Why are you doing this? (Doing what?)" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook. (I don't even want to know)

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint. (None of that made sense)

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent. (Does such a thing exist?)

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan. (Yeah, because hes not just told everyone he is a Satanist like, 4 minutes ago)

"Because I LOVE HER!" (Does everyone love or lust after her in some way?)

Jesus, this was the most excruciating chapter yet. I think my brain is imploding.