Chapter 11 – Just our hands clasped so tight

Just our hands clasped so tight

Waiting for the hint of a spark

Both of them slipped around suddenly, looking at the woman who laid on the ground, breathing heavily, ruckling.

Her scream was so strong, stronger than the words that followed.

Her voice was shaking and low, hoarse. The pain was taking her ability to speak away, and all she could do was trying to find the power to speak those words out loud.

"Please… stop it…" She was saying in Calliopes direction. She was pleading and begging her to get back to her, instead of risking her life for something that was already lost.

She was lost; she could feel it, and all she wanted was touching her, feeling her, hearing her angel voice once more, before she was drifting away. She knew everything was too late, and trying to save her by fighting with someone who wouldn't hesitate to shoot her wasn't an option in her mind.

"Please… stop… it… and come… to me…" Callie heard the urge in the words and realized what she has done. She has done nothing else than scaring her, because there wouldn't be any way to get Hunt.

"Be careful… Take care of her… Get her out of there anyhow or… I'll get someone to get you two out of there as soon as possible…"

He replied before he stormed away, leaving her to it and she was standing there in front of the OR collecting gauze bandage and other things to stop her bleeding, to save her life, until someone was going to save them.

She thought of his words, hoping he was able to get someone soon. She couldn't do anything, except of being there for her.

One last glance into his direction, before she took a few steps backwards where Arizona was lying, struggling with death.

When she kneeled down beside her, her hands intuitive searched for her hands and all she did was taking her hands, stroking it firmly with her thumb like she did each night, each moment they were hands holding, walking through the hospital corridors or through the city, each time they were sitting with their friends talking.

It was something Callie loved about Arizona. The connection they had, even when they were just touching and stroking their hands and how much they needed to touch each other whatever they were doing. It was something magical Callie never experienced before. Not with George, not with Erica or Mark. It was something Arizona set free in her. It was Arizona who changed her in every possible way.

And now, even they were captured in the grotto of death, Callie still felt love rushing through her veins when she touched her so slightly.

"Please… Callie…" She blurted out in a whisper, not able to call her how she called her each time. It hurt too much to speak; even looking at her was hurting every inch of her body.

But even if Callie would be the reason she had to die, even if Callie was poison for her, she would give everything to be with her, just for a moment.

"Just hold me…"

Those simple words made the tears well up in her eyes, because she knew it was the only thing she could really do. It was like the last wish that came from her so, oh, soft lips, she ached to kiss. The last time those words were spoken Arizona cried her heart out because of her brother who has died. It was the anniversary of his death and Callie didn't know what she should do. Arizona whispered a simple "Just hold me…" that made her heart tingle, full of compassion and love. And of course she did it, she held her through the night, while she cried, to show her she was always there.

Now she also saw the need laced in her baby blue eyes, and she gave in, taking her rumbling body into her arms, giving her support and warmth.

And when she felt her so close she settled her own head on her shoulders, taking in her scent.

She smelled like blood and death, but there were something else. There was her scent; the scent Callie loved so much and she closed her eyes for a moment, remembering the days she had her in her arms, knowing that she was the love of her life. Too often she thought about that, but now was the first time she realized that all she wanted to do was growing old with her and she hated herself for being so narrow-minded. She should have listening to her heart earlier, more than to her mind that told her not to do this step after the thing that happened with George. But Arizona wasn't George. She was so much more, and with lying there she finally realized what her heart screamed for the whole time.

She wanted to marry her. She wanted her to be a part of her life. Forever.

But now it felt like it was already too late and salty tears left her eyes, burning ugly lines into her face.

"I dreamed… about… a house… a white house… with blue doors… or maybe red doors… and a porch with two simple comfortable chair and a simple table… so we… so we can sit out there in the summer… watching life greeting us… in summer… we… we could sit there and we could have flowers and plants… and in winter we could have there candles and… and… blankets… as well… and the house is… big… even we are alone… and we could have a great garden… with a… swimming pool…"

Arizona started her future story, coughing furiously, feeling her life fading away, but she didn't care. She needed to tell Callie those things she never brought over her lips before. She never told her how much she wanted to move together with her and how much she wanted to marry her.

It was something she never thought about before in her entire life, until Callie got a part, the main part of it.

"…and… we will have… a beautiful… house…. Choosing every thing together… the bed… we need a big and comfy bed like yours… and a beautiful and big kitchen... where I… where I can watch you… because I love watching you cooking… and maybe we won't life there alone… some-" She coughed again and Callie whipped her back and forth, crying.

"…someday… there could be… our children… I never told you… but I always thought of it… very often to be honest… because I want to share everything with you… each experience… I… I never thought there could be a perfect life…" Her eyes filled with fresh tears and soft sobs left her mouth.

"I never thought there would be anything else than living, surviving, hoping… but when I met you I knew… it can be perfect… I dreamed about our perfect home and live together… and I… I want you to know… that… I…I love you, Calliope… I love you so much that it almost hurts… and I will love you whatever is going to happen… and I… I want you to be happy more than anything else… you have to be happy… even I'm.. I'm…"

She wasn't able to say those words out loud, to admit her soon fulfilled future and Calliope didn't want her to speak out, too.

Instead she kissed her check from behind, trying to calm her.

"Scccht… Ari… don't say it… you know we are going to get out of here together… it just take time… but we are going to get out of here… I promise… because… because do you remember?? Do you remember the night where we resolved which places we want to see… Do you remember?" She whispered into her eyes and she waited for her response.

Arizona closed her eyes, her lips forming a faint and foggy smile.

"I remember everything…" She answered keeping her eyes close when the memories were over taking her shaking body.

You and me

Have seen everything to see

From Bangok to Calgary

And the soles of your shoes

Are all worn down

"You know what I wanted to do, but I was never able to?" Arizona broke the silence, Calliope was enjoying.

"What?" She replied, trying to find the strength to talk after a hard day in the hospital. Every one else would annoy her, but Arizona's voice made her forget, it made her feel peaceful again.

"I always dreamed about travelling to another countries, states and citys. But I hadn't got the money and then my schedule was to stressful to be able to escape, and there wasn't anybody I want to take with me on my journey…" Her words were honest and also full of passion while her fingers searched their way under Callie's top to stroke her silk skin firmly.

"But now I've found someone I want to share those memories and experiences with…" She said without looking up.

Callie grinned at her revelation and she had to confess that she was feeling the same. She had Never felt so pure about anyone else.

"Where do you want go?" Both said in union, making each other laugh.

"Hey let's start a game… I'm going to say a city or a state I want to visit and you are going to say another city/state with the last letter… alright?"

"Alright." Callie replied, grinning wildly. No one ever made her being exited about a simple game.

"Hm… let's start with… Los Angeles…" Arizona said, smiling and acting like a child.

"You have never been to L.A.? You can't be serious, Arizona!"

"Hey! That's not the rules… no mocking here!"

"Never been to L.A. but calling me the newborn…" She mumbled to herself, but loud enough for her to understand.

"Hey!" She punched her on her shoulder, giving her a snapping glance; pouting and Callie excused herself with a tender kiss, taking both of their breath away.

"Sydney…" Callie said while she tried to find her breath again.

"York… that was a good way to apologize…" Arizona grinned mischievously.

"Kanada!"

"Alabama… You know the Movie 'Sweet home Alabama' with the guy who looked exactly like Sheppard, Calliope? I've always wanted to go there!"

"Arizona..." Callie blurted out laughing hard. "But well… I have been there a lot lately… and I have to say… I love it… oh… I love every part of Arizona…"

Arizona giggled at her comment, realizing again how much she adored Callie as she was looking at her seductively.

"Oh yeah… I love it…" She licked her lips while Arizona was biting her lip. How could she resist her anytime?

"Maybe you could visit it again… soon…" She said in a whisper while she claimed Callie's body, settling herself beneath her legs, intuitive grinding, listening to Calliope's soft and needing moans that left her body, sending a shiver over her back.

She settled both of her hands on her head side, giving in a moment to tease her with her lips hovering right over her already opened mouth.

Arizona could feel her panting breath and she felt her strong hands crawling over her body, over her breasts and her stomach, until she reached the final aim, prodding to the part of Arizona' body she loved the most.

When Callie entered her with two fingers she felt herself drifting away.

"I'd love to visit it again…" She whispered as her body started to movie in a pacing movement, feeling Arizona's body moving up and down.

"I love you…" Arizona heard her whispering, right before she let out a loud moan.

"And I'd love to see the world with you…"

When Callie said that she changed the position, until she hovered over her lover, pushing herself into her, grinding, panting, looking straight into her beautiful blue eyes.

And while she was mesmerized by her gaze she felt herself slowly drifting away in the sea of Arizona.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

"I still want to see the world with you…" Calliope whispered softly while a single tear grazed her face, intermingling with the others that still waited to be freed.

Authors Note: I know it's short and you want me to go on with the story fast, because you want to know how it's going to end and if she's going to survive. But I had to cry much when I wrote this, because it was full of emotions for me at most when I wrote the last part, their memory. For me it wasn't just about sex, it was more about their sweetness, their connection I wished I had in my life, and of course how they are facing death together. It's something that always takes my breath away. But now more than in any Chapter before. It was like sitting on the edge of a mountain, looking down, watching the sun goes down, knowing with that, knowing with the day ending, life is going to be taken away, too.

I'm sorry for the babbling. I really hope you enjoy this and I'm looking forward to your replies, because they are very important for me.

See you soon & All my love to you who knows how I feel

-Sun