Arrentai
It took us nearly three days to reach Karnum's Glade, camping by the roadside overnight with Lizabetha's felhunter keeping guard. Ti'Grenna, once she got over the shock of Perriiov's duplicity, became her usual garrulous self. I on the other hand was even more quiet than usual, trying to make sense of what Lizabetha had told me. It sounded so unbelievable. I could just about understand death knights doing that while under the control of the Scourge. They had done far worse, I knew. But to have free will and still willingly drag a body from its resting place to fight for you? I couldn't comprehend that at all. More than ever I knew I needed to talk to Nerissina face to face. Yet how could I? I had no idea where she was. If she was still in Tol Barad I couldn't go there; I wasn't strong enough. And if she'd returned then she was obviously still avoiding me.
Lizabetha and I shared a tent at night but that was all. I wanted more but until I had resolved the situation with Nerissina I would not act upon my desire. My honour and my conscience would not permit it.
The druids of the Cenarion Circle at Karnum's Glade welcomed us. There was plenty we could do; and we wasted no time in making ourselves useful. I threw myself wholeheartedly into the work so that I was too exhausted to think about anything else. I couldn't go on like that indefinitely though and eventually Lizabetha spoke up. As we sat at our supper one evening she asked me,
"When did you last see your daughter, Arrentai?"
I looked up and stared at her in silence for a long moment.
"I can't remember," I said at last. "Too long."
"You should go home," she told me. "Spend some time with her. Try to settle things with Nerissina. You can't go on like this; it's hurting you too much."
She was right, I had to admit. I missed Taliesa so much. She was growing so quickly and I was missing her childhood. I'd missed her early years and now I was in danger of missing the rest. There would be time enough for exploring the world when she was older.
"Come with me," I suggested. I didn't want to lose Lizabetha. Already I knew I wanted her to be part of my future. She smiled and nodded.
The next day we told Ti'Grenna of our plans and asked what she wanted to do. She couldn't come to Darnassus with us; they'd never allow a goblin to live there even if she was Steamwheedle and not Horde. I needn't have worried; she had her own plans. She was going to work her way through Stonetalon and the Barrens until she reached Ratchet. Then she was going to sail back to Booty Bay. She hadn't given up on her dream of becoming a mage; she was just going to put it off for a while until she could afford to pay for her training. We wished her well; I hoped she would be successful.
We didn't waste any time. The next morning we left Karnum's Glade and started riding northwards towards the pass at Tethris Aran. I chose a route through Stonetalon Mountains that avoided as much as possible the Horde outposts there. Nevertheless that part of our journey was not without incident.
As we rode through Windshear Crag we came upon a lone orc; a young female. She'd obviously been hunting some of the local wildlife for she had a bundle of skins with her and fresh meat. I was prepared to leave her in peace and go on our way for she was doing no harm. Lizabetha on the other hand just saw her as yet another murdering orc and immediately went on the offensive. Before I could stop her she ordered Jhaadhun to attack and began casting some pretty lethal looking spells.
The felhunter, moving with considerably more speed than its usual amble, dashed in and started attacking the orc. She tried her best to fight it off with the twin blades she carried, but was not strong enough to have much effect on its tough hide. She fought bravely but was no match for either the demon or the vengeful warlock at my side and she quickly weakened. I could see the pain on her face as she sank to her knees but she never cried out.
I couldn't watch any more.
"Enough!" I said, interrupting Lizabetha's spell. "Stop it, Lizabetha. She's just a child."
"She's an orc!" she spat out. "A filthy killer."
"No," I insisted. "Look at her. You told me it was a squad of soldiers who killed your family. She's no soldier."
Lizabetha let her hands drop to her sides and gave a command to Jhaadhun. The demon let the orc go but stood guard over her.
"They killed my children," Lizabetha whispered anguished.
"I know, but killing one of their children won't bring yours back. It makes you no better than them. Show her mercy. Let her go."
For a moment she hesitated then with a gesture she called the felhunter back to her side. "I don't know what to do any more," she said, and I could hear the terrible grief in her voice. "Help me please, Arrentai."
I reached out my hand to gently touch her shoulder in reassurance; then I turned to look at the orc. She hadn't moved; she just knelt there watching us.
"You're free to go," I said quietly. "We won't hurt you anymore."
I wasn't sure if she even understood me. I knew next to nothing about orcs. Maybe not all of them spoke or understood common tongue. I dismounted. Moving slowly with my empty hands held out I walked towards her. She stared defiantly at me but made no effort to get away. I pointed to her then back in the direction of the Horde's Krom'gar Fortress. She obviously understood that. She shook her head and looked down. I followed her gaze; the leg of her trousers was soaked with blood. She couldn't stand; Jhaadhun had done some serious damage.
"Let me help," I said gently. Kneeling I examined the wound. It was deep enough to have damaged some blood vessels. Slipping my bag from my shoulder I pulled out a length of bandage and bound up her leg. I glanced up at her face. I wouldn't have said before that day that an orc could turn pale but she had. She looked as though she was about to pass out. We couldn't leave her like that; it was growing dark and she could fall prey to one of the beasts that prowled these mountains. I made the decision that we would stay there with her for the night. Quickly gathering some fallen wood I built a fire. The orc eased closer, lay down with her head pillowed on the bundle of skins and closed her eyes. Lizabetha dismounted and joined me. Making sure my horse was safely tethered so it wouldn't wander in the night I prepared a simple meal. Lizabetha's horse needed no such restraint; soul-bound to her it would not leave her side unless she dismissed it.
As we ate I studied the orc. I'd no way of telling her age; but as I'd pointed out to Lizabetha she was obviously barely out of childhood. The tusks that all orcs had were, on her, small, hardly there. Her hair, loose on her shoulders, was dark, almost the colour of plums. She wore simple leather armour such as that which I made, but hers was old, well-worn, ill fitting, apparently second hand. Kit settled down near the fire to chew on a piece of dried meat I gave him. Lizabetha sat close to me. She hadn't spoken since her plea for my help. I put my arm round her shoulder and drew her close, feeling her trembling as she began to weep. I hoped that she had at last purged her need for vengeance before it could destroy her. Eventually she slept leaning on my shoulder; I gently settled her with her head resting on a bag and wrapped her cloak round her. I didn't sleep; I was wary about our position. Out in the open we were vulnerable to attack by predators so I shifted to worgen form to give me the heightened senses that would warn me more easily of danger. Towards dawn I dozed a little but not so deeply that I was unaware of the forests around us.
As the sun rose I became aware that the orc had woken and was watching me. She looked confused at my change of appearance. Slowly I shifted back and smiled reassuringly at her. She sat up and fed some fresh wood to the smouldering fire before taking a piece of meat from her bag and setting it over the flames to roast.
"Do you understand me?" I asked and she nodded.
"I don't mean you any harm. You are free to go whenever you choose."
"She hates me." Her voice was quiet, soft, at odds with her savage appearance.
"She has reason. Her whole family was slaughtered by an orc raiding party. She sees you all as responsible."
"I have not yet been in battle."
"I understand that; I will make her understand."
Lizabetha stirred then; waking and sitting upright. I turned and watched her. She looked at the orc as though she hadn't expected to see her still there.
"What is your name?" she asked.
"I'm Cristelle Trueblade, daughter of Nerolie Trueblade of Razor Hill. My mother is a shaman and has power among our people."
I understood the warning she was giving me. Yet I did not need it. I'd already made my decision. I knew little about orcs; but I did know that they had a tradition of shamanism that went back long before their corruption by the burning legion and their coming to Azeroth. Shaman worked with the forces of nature and were every bit as powerful as the warlocks who called upon demonic powers to serve them.
"Were you at Krom'gar?" I asked.
She nodded. "I was sent out to hunt for food for our fighters. The commander said I wasn't ready to fight yet."
She turned the roasting meat, watching until she was satisfied it was cooked through. Taking a knife from her belt she cut slices from it and held a piece out to me. I took it with a word of thanks and began to eat. I could not have told you what animal it came from but it tasted good. After a moment's hesitation Lizabetha took the meat offered to her and also began to eat.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I know you are not responsible for my family's deaths. I won't harm you again."
Cristelle nodded in acknowledgement. "I know," she replied.
After we'd finished our meal I re-bandaged Cristelle's leg and helped her to her feet. She was a little unsteady, limping as she tried to walk. I insisted that I would escort her back to her people, letting her ride my horse. As we neared Krom'gar I made Lizabetha stay back out of sight with the horses. If there was trouble I could shift and escape quickly; she could not. I changed to my travel form, that of a stag, and allowed Cristelle to mount me; walking slowly forward along the road as it emerged from the trees.
The fortress was built on the hillside above the forest. As we approached the ramp that led up to it she dismounted and I shifted back to my human form. As I did so I saw the sentries come to attention and draw their weapons. Cristelle saw also and she called out to them in orcish so they did not attack. I saw a leather-clad female come down the ramp. White haired and older, she looked so much like Cristelle she had to be her mother. Cristelle spoke briefly to her obviously explaining. She then spoke to me in common.
"My thanks for returning my daughter, human," she said. "Tell your woman I grieve for her family; but such is the nature of war. Too often innocents suffer or die."
I nodded, watching Cristelle as she limped towards her mother; then I turned and walked away. No one pursued me and I returned to Lizabetha to continue our journey.
Not stopping except to rest ourselves and the horses it nonetheless took us several weeks to reach Darkshore. In Lor'danel we went to the inn where I arranged to have my horse stabled and cared for. Then we flew on to Darnassus. Lizabetha had never been there before and she looked about with interest as we walked through the streets towards the district of the Howling Oak. A few people greeted me as we neared my home, but we didn't stop to talk. Now we were so close I was impatient to get there.
The area was as busy as ever with the Gilneans who lived there going about their daily business. We'd almost reached the street where my house was when I heard a childish voice shriek out, "Daddy!"
I was almost knocked flying by the small tornado that bowled into me. I caught Taliesa up in my arms and held her close until she wriggled to be put down. She looked up at Lizabetha curiously.
"Hello," she said, "I'm Taliesa. Who are you?"
"This is my friend Lizabetha," I told her. "She's going to stay with us for a while."
"Okay," Taliesa replied with ready acceptance. Clinging tightly to my hand she walked beside me, chattering non-stop. Our first stop was Amalie's home to tell her that I was home and to collect Taliesa's belongings. Lizabetha had been silent since Taliesa joined us and now, in the street again, I stopped to look at her. I cursed myself for my thoughtlessness. Here was I joyfully reunited with my daughter; she could never see her children again. Her tear-filled eyes met mine and she attempted to smile.
"I'll be all right," she said softly. "I knew what to expect; I made the choice to come with you."
Taliesa gazed thoughtfully at Lizabetha then releasing my hand she took hers instead. I watched them silently. After a moment Lizabetha smiled at my daughter and allowed herself to be led on. I breathed a sigh of relief. For a moment I'd feared that I'd made a terrible mistake in bringing Lizabetha here; but Taliesa in her innocence had made it right.
When we reached home I unlocked the door and Taliesa hurried inside, eager to settle back in. I looked at Lizabetha.
"Are you sure about this?"
"Yes, I am. Please don't worry, Arrentai. I can't avoid other people's children for the rest of my life. I'll manage."
Taliesa reappeared. "I've put my things away," she told me. "Now I'm hungry."
I thanked her, knowing full well I'd have to redo the job later.
"We'll have to eat out," I said. "There's no food in the cupboard."
I put my bags in my room, told Lizabetha to leave hers in the corner and we headed out to the nearest inn for our meal. Neither Lizabetha nor I had much to say, but Taliesa more than made up for it. She talked non-stop even while eating. The one thing she didn't talk about however was her mother. It worried me; was she forgetting about her or was this her way of coping with the separation. I wanted to make things right for all of us; but I didn't know how. I was afraid that whatever I decided someone was going to get hurt.
Taliesa and I settled back into our old routine and soon it seemed as though I'd never been gone. She happily accepted Lizabetha; going as far as to ask me if she was going to stay with us always. I made no promises; although I would like nothing better, I had no idea how things would go until I could talk to Nerissina. When I checked my mail on that first day back there were several letters from Gillaen; even in Tol Barad he managed to find a way to keep in touch but there was nothing from Nerissina. Reading through Gillaen's letters it became increasingly obvious to me that she was deliberately cutting herself off from us. It made the decision I was getting closer to making easier.
I wrote a letter to the commander of Nerissina's regiment telling him that I urgently needed to speak to her and asking to be informed when she returned from Tol Barad. I received a reply within a few days telling me that they were due leave and would soon be returning to Stormwind. I resolved to be there when they arrived so Nerissina would have no chance to avoid me. The three of us sailed to the capital and I booked rooms for us in the Pig and Whistle Inn in the old town. We'd been there less than a week when the ships arrived from Tol Barad. I'd left a message for Gillaen asking him to bring Nerissina to the inn without telling her we were there. My brother did his best but somehow she got wind of our plans and refused to leave the barracks. When he told me I lost my temper.
Taliesa had watched him arrive at the inn and greeted him happily. But then she stood there watching the doorway with a confused expression.
"Where's Mummy?" she asked softly. Gillaen looked at me apologetically.
"I'm sorry, Arrentai," he said. "She won't come; she's so afraid she'll hurt Taliesa again. She won't even risk seeing her here."
"She'll see us," I muttered angrily. Catching my tearful daughter up in my arms I marched out of the inn and through the streets to the barrack gates. I was vaguely aware of Gillaen and Lizabetha following. At the gates the sentry recognized me; I could see the dismay on his face. In any other circumstance it would have amused me but I was angry for my daughter's sake and I wanted to take away her sadness. When I explained the situation the sentry let me in; directing me to the commander's office. After a brief word with the sentry Gillaen followed me. The commander was sympathetic to us; he had children himself and knew how they missed their parents who were serving away from home. He sent a messenger to summon Nerissina to his office. She may have ignored me and defied Gillaen but she could not disobey a direct order from her commanding officer. She knew why she was being summoned of course. She entered the office and stood there in front of the officer's desk, ignoring us. It was deliberately calculated to anger me but I refused to rise to the bait.
"Nerissina, I need to talk with you," I said quietly. "We can't go on like this. This situation is hurting us all, Taliesa most of all. Is that what you want?"
The officer rose to his feet and walked towards the door. After a brief murmured conversation with Gillaen that I did not catch he left closing the door behind him. My brother moved to stand in front of it; a solid barrier that no one was passing. I stepped towards her and reached out to touch her arm, totally unprepared for her reaction. With an angry snarl she shifted to worgen form and bared her fangs at me. She couldn't harm me of course; I was already worgen and more than a match for her if it came to a fight. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lizabetha draw Taliesa away, towards my brother's protection. Gillaen rested his hand on the hilt of his sword, ready to draw it if need be.
"Leave me alone!" she growled. "Take Taliesa back to Darnassus. Keep her away from me. Let your new woman be her mother."
Behind me I heard Lizabetha's shocked gasp and Taliesa's sobs as she began to cry.
"Why, Nerissina?" I asked. "What's changed you so much?"
She turned to look at me then and I saw the anguish on her face.
"It's becoming harder to control myself as time passes. I've been doubly cursed, Arrentai; Scourge and worgen fight for control of my mind and I don't know which if any will win. Maybe they'll destroy me completely. On the battlefield I can just about control it; elsewhere I'm a danger to anyone near me. I can't; won't risk harming Taliesa."
With a superhuman effort she regained enough control to shift back to human form and sank to her knees. She held out her hands to Taliesa. Trustingly our daughter went to her mother's arms for what I realised would quite possibly be their last embrace. Tears streamed down Nerissina's face as she tenderly caressed the child. She looked up at Lizabetha with a sad smile.
"Take care of them for me," she pleaded. She kissed Taliesa and gently untwined the child's arms from round her neck, giving her a gentle push towards Lizabetha.
"Mummy?" Taliesa was confused; she hadn't understood Nerissina's words; couldn't understand why her mother was rejecting her.
"Go with her, Taliesa," she whispered, her voice choked with tears. "Go with..." "Lizabetha," I said softly. "Go with Lizabetha, child. She'll care for you. I can't any more. Your father will explain when you are older."
Lizabetha took Taliesa's hand.
"You have my word," she said, sounding close to tears herself. She more than any of us understood Nerissina's grief. Gillaen stood aside to allow them to leave then resumed his place. I helped Nerissina to rise and took her in my arms, realising that I must make my own farewell. I held her close and kissed her tenderly. She responded as best she could with a little of the passion that I remembered from long gone days before we had both changed.
"I'll always love you," I whispered. "I know," she answered softly before she pulled away. She shifted back to worgen form, obviously how she felt most comfortable now and walked towards the door. Gillaen stepped aside now. She glanced back at me briefly; "Be happy, Arrentai," she said and went out.
After a moment we followed. She hadn't gone far; she was standing in an area set aside as a graveyard. Quite deliberately she made sure I was watching and began to cast a summoning spell. The ground near her feet began to churn and I stared in horror at what clawed its way out. Once human in form, the creature was decayed, more bones than flesh and clad in rags. Uttering bestial sounds it staggered to Nerissina's side and gazed up at her. Almost without thinking she lifted her hand and gently caressed its rotting head as she had caressed our child. Nauseated I turned away, hearing my brother swear in disgust. If her intention was to break the last bonds between us then she had succeeded admirably.
There was no sign of Lizabetha and Taliesa; they must have already gone back to the inn. In silence Gillaen escorted me there, found us seats in a quiet corner and went to the bar to buy drinks. He came back with several bottles of cheap strong wine. Instinctively he realised that for that moment I needed the oblivion that alcohol could provide. He poured me drink after drink until reality began to blur and eventually to slip into the blackness of unconsciousness.
I awoke in my bed half-dressed and with the mother of all hangovers. As I tried to sit up my stomach churned rebelliously and I was forced to make use of a conveniently placed bucket. As I fell back weakly on the pillows the door opened and Lizabetha came in. She was carrying a mug of her herbal remedy. I sipped it gratefully as she talked gently. Gillaen had apparently told her what Nerissina had done.
"It was a cruel thing to do," she commented.
"Effective," I muttered." I don't think I could ever touch her again after seeing that. She treated it like a child."
Gillaen was not around. After I'd passed out he'd carried me upstairs and put me to bed. Then he'd had to return to the barracks. I asked about Taliesa; Lizabetha told me that my daughter had found a new friend in the innkeeper's child and they were playing happily together. I was thankful for the resilience of children; hopefully Taliesa would get over the previous day's events more readily than I ever would.
Gillaen returned later that evening. I was up and dressed by then, but that was all; I felt terrible despite endless doses of the herbal brew. I hadn't even been able to eat; just the thought of food made me feel sick. I wouldn't be drinking like that again.
He told me his news. He'd had a long discussion with the commander on how to deal with Nerissina. In the end it had been decided that she would return to active duty under Gillaen's direct command for as long as she was able to go on. Then a new decision would be made on her fate. I hated to hear her spoken of like that but I realised it was necessary both for her sake and those about her. If I wanted to see her again I'd have to come to Stormwind.
"Look after her, Gillaen," I asked. "Keep her safe for us. Maybe one day they'll find a cure for her; for all of you."
He nodded, but I realised he wasn't hopeful. The Scourge's curse of undeath changed the whole person both physically and mentally. Their body was dead, it wouldn't age neither would it decay. In theory they could live forever. When raised to the Scourge they lost all their memories and their moral principles. Although those who were redeemed had regained their memories I knew to my cost that they could never again be the person they'd been before death. There were other worgen death knights as there were many of every other race but Gillaen had heard of no other with the problems that Nerissina had. She had just been unluckier than the others. My brother was all too aware that he could easily go the same way, any of them could.
"What will you do now?" he asked me. "Now it's over with Nerissina? You need someone, little brother. You've been alone too long; and Taliesa needs a mother to care for her."
"I don't know."
"There's Lizabetha. I can't say I approve of her calling. Warlocks use too much dark magic for paladins to accept; but she's a lovely girl."
"Don't, Gillaen, I'm not ready for that."
"Just think about it." He stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow."
I watched him leave; running his words back through my mind. I hadn't missed the fact that he'd referred to himself as paladin. Even now that was how he wanted to see himself; hated to accept what he'd become; a creature that he would once willingly have killed without a second thought. I wondered if he would ever be reconciled to the life that he now had.
After Gillaen had gone Lizabetha returned and sat beside me. I reached out to gently touch her face, feeling her hair brush my fingers. "Did you mean what you said," I asked, "when you promised Nerissina that you would care for Taliesa?"
"Yes, I did. I'll come back to Darnassus with you and stay for as long as you want me. You made me realise there's more to life than revenge. This is a chance for a new life for me. I'd be a fool not to take it."
I slipped my fingers behind her head and pulled her closer until I could easily kiss her. As my brother had so bluntly pointed out my relationship with Nerissina was over; she'd made that clear enough. I was free to bring Lizabetha into my life. I knew Taliesa already loved her. As we lay together in bed later I asked her to marry me. She whispered, "Yes."